Should the police protect Cho's parents?

[Niels Bohr 72]

The parents, and siblings should be protected. They are not the killer. Mass media nowadays promote pointing fingers.

[Welshcookie 17]

I voted YES.

I knew a family whose son commited a terrible murder, it also had worldwide news coverage, he destroyed the lives of his own family as well as the other famillies involved. It was heartbreaking to see. Their house ended up having to be demolished and I never knew where they ended up moving to.

They were just 'normal' people.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Definitely YES. They deserve as much of our pity as any of the other victims families, IMO. They not only have to lose a child, but they forever have to live with what he did in their minds. Can any one of you imagine *that* as a parent??? I know I can't.

I totally agree with those who say he has a normal sister, appears to have had a decent upbringing...no one really knows...but I mean...he was in his 4th year of college. If his parents didn't really care about him at all, I doubt he'd have the seemingly normal sister, or even BE in college. You know? I feel so sorry for all the victims...but his parents (and sister)are *definitely* included in that group, IMO. M.

PS..to whoever said "they deserve as much protection as the rest of us...etc etc." you may feel differently in this situation. You haven't done anything (or someone in your family hasn't I should say) that would give cause for a lynch mob to come after you....this family *has* had that, therefore they should get more protection. You don't say someone with a stalker shouldn't be looked out for, because *I* don't have a stalker....do you? M.

[Kez/JWolf 6]

His parents and sister are as much victims of his actions as all the other victims... my heart goes out to all of them.... I would think his family will have to live with and deal with there own feelings of guilt forever more....

Kez

[MrsBruce5 0]

I voted no. Why should they get any special treatment ?

How in God's name can you not know your child is SO screwed up? I know the guy was 23, but this doesn't happen overnight. They HAD to know something was wrong for a LONG time...there has to be some accountability with the parents.

It's just so sad...

Rose

[Kez/JWolf 6]

I voted no. Why should they get any special treatment ?

How in God's name can you not know your child is SO screwed up? I know the guy was 23, but this doesn't happen overnight. They HAD to know something was wrong for a LONG time...there has to be some accountability with the parents.

It's just so sad...

Rose

So I take it your parents know everything you are thinking about and all the things you have planned to do in your life, either good or bad and you have never done anything wrong or stupid that your parents did not know about????? Yes parents should watch for telltail signs of mental problems but some people are very good at hiding their thoughts and feelings from other including their parents....

Kez

[Jenn! 918]

How in God's name can you not know your child is SO screwed up? I know the guy was 23, but this doesn't happen overnight. They HAD to know something was wrong for a LONG time...there has to be some accountability with the parents.

I agree, although I wouldn't say that they are accountable for his actions. They did know that he had mental illness, according to news reports. I can't imagine that they had absolutely no clue that he was unstable and that the college environment was likely exacerbating his condition.

This guy didn't just "snap".

ETA: I still think they should be protected though. I just think they may have been in denial about their child's mental illness.

Edited April 20, 2007 by jenn3539

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

I voted no. Why should they get any special treatment ?

How in God's name can you not know your child is SO screwed up? I know the guy was 23, but this doesn't happen overnight. They HAD to know something was wrong for a LONG time...there has to be some accountability with the parents.

It's just so sad...

Rose

For one thing the guy was 23 and legally an adult. Unless you've dealt with mental illness in some form or other you realise that it isn't easy to get someone to have treatment. You can't force someone to be committed unless they've tried to harm themselves or others. Being 'angry and depressed' doesn't usually cut it. It just isn't that easy - mentally ill people can be devious when it comes to hiding their symptoms from strangers (like doctors), but carrying on 'business as usual' as soon as the coast is clear.

There is a stigma attached to mental illness. People don't understand it, don't know how to handle or what (if anything) to do about it.

Edited April 20, 2007 by erekose

[Jenn! 918]

For one thing the guy was 23 and legally an adult. Unless you've dealt with mental illness in some form or other you realise that it isn't easy to get someone to have treatment. You can't force someone to be committed unless they've tried to harm themselves or others. Being 'angry and depressed' doesn't usually cut it. It just isn't that easy - mentally ill people can be devious when it comes to hiding their symptoms from strangers (like doctors), but carrying on 'business as usual' as soon as the coast is clear.

I do know that it's difficult to get treatment. I was watching some guy last night who said that he had to lie and say that his bipolar son had threatened to kill him before he could get a bed at a treatment facility. But if your attempts at getting your child who you knew to be mentally ill were not successful, would you throw up your hands and say, "Oh well, we tried. I guess we'll send him to college instead?"

I don't know, I do realize that it's a lot easier to say after the fact that the signs were all there and how could they not see them. We're seeing this guy's past as the media is choosing to portray it.

[MrsBruce5 0]

I voted no. Why should they get any special treatment ?

How in God's name can you not know your child is SO screwed up? I know the guy was 23, but this doesn't happen overnight. They HAD to know something was wrong for a LONG time...there has to be some accountability with the parents.

It's just so sad...

Rose

So I take it your parents know everything you are thinking about and all the things you have planned to do in your life, either good or bad and you have never done anything wrong or stupid that your parents did not know about????? Yes parents should watch for telltail signs of mental problems but some people are very good at hiding their thoughts and feelings from other including their parents....

Kez

Not exactly what I meant...I have a child of my own, and I know him inside out. I see his strengths, and his weaknesses. I know what level of respect he has for what's right and wrong-how he treats others, animals, and how he addresses life in general. As a parent, there is a VERY STRONG sense of what is going on in your child's head. If your child is "off"-you know it, and it is incumbent to take steps to help your child. Like I say, this didn't happen overnight. There HAD to be a history of instability, and it should have been addressed better. This guy should had more parental involvment in his illness. Yes, he was a legal adult, but the guy should have been institutionalized, given his history.

I am in no way stating that it is completely their fault-but as a parent-you KNOW your child. And as for police protection for the parents...did they do their part to protect the public from their child? I can answer that one quite clearly.

Rose

[Nessa 23]

I voted yes. I don't think it's their fault what his son did.

[Kez/JWolf 6]

I voted no. Why should they get any special treatment ?

How in God's name can you not know your child is SO screwed up? I know the guy was 23, but this doesn't happen overnight. They HAD to know something was wrong for a LONG time...there has to be some accountability with the parents.

It's just so sad...

Rose

So I take it your parents know everything you are thinking about and all the things you have planned to do in your life, either good or bad and you have never done anything wrong or stupid that your parents did not know about????? Yes parents should watch for telltail signs of mental problems but some people are very good at hiding their thoughts and feelings from other including their parents....

Kez

Not exactly what I meant...I have a child of my own, and I know him inside out. I see his strengths, and his weaknesses. I know what level of respect he has for what's right and wrong-how he treats others, animals, and how he addresses life in general. As a parent, there is a VERY STRONG sense of what is going on in your child's head. If your child is "off"-you know it, and it is incumbent to take steps to help your child. Like I say, this didn't happen overnight. There HAD to be a history of instability, and it should have been addressed better. This guy should had more parental involvment in his illness. Yes, he was a legal adult, but the guy should have been institutionalized, given his history.

I am in no way stating that it is completely their fault-but as a parent-you KNOW your child. And as for police protection for the parents...did they do their part to protect the public from their child? I can answer that one quite clearly.

Rose

Wait until your child is a young adult and then come back and tell me you still Know everthing that is going on in your childs life.... you may think you do but you dont.... did your parents know everything about your life and your inner feelings from age 15 to 23???? I dont think so... As a mother of 2 grown-up children and a Grandmother I know I would like to think I know my kids real well.... but in reality I dont... they had their own lives now and they only let me see and know what they want me to see and know....

Kez

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

For one thing the guy was 23 and legally an adult. Unless you've dealt with mental illness in some form or other you realise that it isn't easy to get someone to have treatment. You can't force someone to be committed unless they've tried to harm themselves or others. Being 'angry and depressed' doesn't usually cut it. It just isn't that easy - mentally ill people can be devious when it comes to hiding their symptoms from strangers (like doctors), but carrying on 'business as usual' as soon as the coast is clear.

I do know that it's difficult to get treatment. I was watching some guy last night who said that he had to lie and say that his bipolar son had threatened to kill him before he could get a bed at a treatment facility. But if your attempts at getting your child who you knew to be mentally ill were not successful, would you throw up your hands and say, "Oh well, we tried. I guess we'll send him to college instead?"

I don't know, I do realize that it's a lot easier to say after the fact that the signs were all there and how could they not see them. We're seeing this guy's past as the media is choosing to portray it.

Seeing the signs is not easy - many kids that age are troubled. I'm not sure how easy it is to separate the angst-ridden going through a phase to those who are genuinely dangerous.

Speaking from personal experience - my father gave up trying to get treatment for my mother (after 28 years) who continues to suffer from a psychotic disorder, because without any demonstrable history of violence, self harm or other mental incompetance a person cannot be committed without the person doing so of their own volition.

Long and short of it - people don't know much about mental illness, and they don't want to acknowledge it, much less actually find ways to deal with it. I think its easy to find "should haves", but a much different proposition to actually have to deal with it directly in a loved one.

[Mags 112]

I agree. Many people think they know their child, or like to think they know their child, but I think they are living in a dream world. I am don't have a mental illness but when I was growing up I got up to stuff my parents would never have dreamed about.

They weren't neglectful or soft, I was just very good at lying. *shrugs*

[Jenn! 918]

Seeing the signs is not easy - many kids that age are troubled. I'm not sure how easy it is to separate the angst-ridden going through a phase to those who are genuinely dangerous.

Reports that I've heard indicate that it wasn't something that developed in Cho's teen years. He was described even by family members as being "cold" and practically mute his whole life.

because without any demonstrable history of violence, self harm or other mental incompetance a person cannot be committed without the person doing so of their own volition.

Long and short of it - people don't know much about mental illness, and they don't want to acknowledge it, much less actually find ways to deal with it.

In my opinion, this is really needs to be addressed. I wish everyone would stop talking about gun control and whether or not he legally purchased the gun blah blah blah. To me, all that is really beside the point. If a "psycho" wants a gun, a "psycho" is gonna get a gun. Shouldn't we be more concerned about the causes and cures for mental illness and what we can do to protect our communities? I do think that the level of personal rights of the mentally ill needs to be revisited.