Where to start

[geowrian 22,337]

Just now, Kevin86 said:

What is OP?

Original Poster (you)

[Kevin86 8]

3 hours ago, NDB052714 said:

I really don't mean to offend and please excuse any incorrect assumptions. 

 

What you've shared of your story sounds so similar to lots and lots of others' Thai adventures. Regardless of which visa you may elect to try for ( i.e. Fiancée vs married) if the consulate folks suspect for a second she ever worked as a bar girl any visa will be denied. There are too many red flags in your story (e.g. Meeting the first night out, spending every night together from the start,  rescuing her from a horrible job). 

 

And as for a tourist visa that won't happen. Even buying property and putting it in her name and depositing a gob of money in her bank account won't demonstrate ties to ensure she'll return home. 

 

Good luck. 

Your assumptions are correct. That's what I was worried about all that you said. But I am happy to hear it from someone first hand. Thank you

[sfcscott 34]

25 minutes ago, Kevin86 said:

What is OP?

You are the OP (Original Poster).   Honestly, don't listen to much of what some of these people are assuming.  They really don't know what is going on in your life and really couldn't possibly tell from what you have already written.   Just know that your only options are 1. Tourist Visa, which is extremely difficult but not impossible, and it would be all on her to obtain!  There is nothing you can do or say to help make this happen.  2. K-1 Visa.  This means you are already engaged and plan to marry here in the US within 90 day of her arrival. This can ultimately be a faster process in most cases.  3. CR-1 Visa.  This means that you have already married her and request petition for her to join you in the US.  The K-1 Visa is a little faster and doesn't cost as much up front.  If you really want to be together sooner, then this is a good option.  The CR-1 take a lot longer and cost a little bit more money up front.  The great thing about this method is that when she arrives in country she will already have her green card and will be able to work, drive etc.   So those are the only options if you wish to have your SO be with you in the US. 

[geowrian 22,337]

10 minutes ago, sfcscott said:

The K-1 Visa is a little faster and doesn't cost as much up front.  If you really want to be together sooner, then this is a good option.  The CR-1 take a lot longer and cost a little bit more money up front.

I'll just add that the CR-1 is considerably cheaper than a K-1 overall. It's slightly less upfront, but you need to have the $1225 for AOS fees after arriving and marrying within the US...which is close to the cost of a CR-1 in itself.

 

K-1 ETA: ~6-8 months on average

CR-1 ETA: ~12-14 months on average

Edited August 21, 2017 by geowrian

[Kevin86 8]

17 minutes ago, sfcscott said:

You are the OP (Original Poster).   Honestly, don't listen to much of what some of these people are assuming.  They really don't know what is going on in your life and really couldn't possibly tell from what you have already written.   Just know that your only options are 1. Tourist Visa, which is extremely difficult but not impossible, and it would be all on her to obtain!  There is nothing you can do or say to help make this happen.  2. K-1 Visa.  This means you are already engaged and plan to marry here in the US within 90 day of her arrival. This can ultimately be a faster process in most cases.  3. CR-1 Visa.  This means that you have already married her and request petition for her to join you in the US.  The K-1 Visa is a little faster and doesn't cost as much up front.  If you really want to be together sooner, then this is a good option.  The CR-1 take a lot longer and cost a little bit more money up front.  The great thing about this method is that when she arrives in country she will already have her green card and will be able to work, drive etc.   So those are the only options if you wish to have your SO be with you in the US. 

Thank you for your input and shinning some kind of positive light. I don't mind everyone's input positive or negative I just needed more information. You're right the only person that knows my situation is me. I am going to try to do regardless what anyone says. I feel what I feel and no one can try to tell me different. Everyone's journey is different on here. I'm new to this. 

Thank you for your information. 

[abum 324]

do share with us your experience after 1-2 years down the road. Wishing you all the best!

[Kevin86 8]

3 minutes ago, abumiqdad said:

do share with us your experience after 1-2 years down the road. Wishing you all the best!

I will defenitly share the experience. No giving up. I just talked to her and she cried cried cried. But with encouragement from her and I we talked about it we will figure it out. It will not be easy but worth it. Thank you for to wishes. 

[KULtoATL 1,551]

8 hours ago, Kevin86 said:

Hello everyone. I was referred to this site from a friend that has a coworker that has gone through this site and he said it worked out great for him. I met with a lawyer and the fees were a lot of money but not outrages I don't think. My question is where do I start? Forms applications etc. a lot of advice on the internet is hit or miss and I don't know where to start. I was scared to look on this website because I have heard a lot of negative things about trying to get my lady friend over to the US. But after reading some topics on here I do not think it is impossible. 

 

A little information about my journey. 

I was asked to go to Thailand in November 2016 for jet ski event and I have never been out of the country (US). The first night out I met Benjawan. I was there for 10 days and she stayed with me every night. After I left we stayed connected through Line. We video chatted whenever we were awake. I promised that I would come back for my birthday and her birthday which were in June. I could not wait that long so I went back in March for 9 days. As the days went by our relationship was stronger and stronger. When I went in June I went for 2 weeks. Went to her home met her family. What a great experience that was. I cried leaving because I did not want to leave her family. I am hoping to plan a trip again this November, depending on if my work will let me take time off again. Since where she was working is not ideal for anyone and she has a child that lived with her family and she lived where she worked I decided that I did not like or want her to work there anymore so she is now back home with her child. I pay for her daughters school. She goes to school to learn English Chinese Korean and Thai. I don't mind putting up the money for it because it is good for her future. She farms and makes food to sell at markets. Now that she is home what a difference in our relationship. She smiles smiles smiles all the time now. 

 

I am am ready to take a big step and try to get her to come here (US). I would like her to come and check it out a couple times to make sure it is what she wants too. I love her I really do and there was a reason why I went to Thailand. 

 

Any advice would really be appreciated. Please ask any questions to better help my situation. 

 

Thank you

Hey OP! You've been given great advice and also fair warning about your situation. It is true that we do not know your relationship in and out but based on the information you have shared thus far, the advice was appropriate.

 

Whilst another poster said it is not impossible for her to get a tourist visa, I'm afraid I'll need to concur with the other posters. She doesn't actually have nor can she prove strong ties back to Thailand. Her child isn't a strong tie either because as many others have posted in the forum previously, a child can be abandoned and/or be taken care of by a friend or relatives. I am employed full time with a good employment history, have overseas travel history with no overstays, sufficient bank balance with ability to fund my trip etc but guess what? I was denied a B2 before under 214(b) i.e. inability to demonstrate strong ties to home country and so have many others. Where do you think that leaves your girlfriend? Invitation letter will not help and you cannot sponsor a person for a B2. List of visa denials list: https://travel.state.gov/content/visas/en/general/denials.html.

 

Assimilation difficulty is very real, more so with her background. IF you truly see a future in this relationship and are very sure about moving her across the world, my suggestions are:

 

1) Instead of trying to bring her to the US so quickly, consider signing her up for English classes in Thailand so that she could brush up on her English language skills. No offence, but I think her world would become very small and her opportunities would be awfully limited if she can't communicate well in English IF she does end up moving there to be with you.

 

2) Aside from English classes, maybe enrol her into short courses that would give her some usable hard skills for future employment in the US. Given her previous work history, I presume she has very little education and does not have a lot of hard skills. Otherwise, she would have easily been working as a clerk or cashier instead of bar girl. Again, I mean no offence.

 

3) In the meantime, visit her a few more times. 

 

As per others, K-1 does get her there the fastest. Currently takes closer to 7-8 months. I-129F petition is $535 and K-1 visa is $265 + K2 visa for the child is $265. This is excluding expenses for shipping, K-1 medical cost, passport application assuming they do not already have one, flights to the US etc. Upon entry, you guys will have to get married within 90 days and I am unable to give you a cost estimate because it depends on what you guys wanna do. After you have officially gotten married, she would have to file AOS + EAD + AP for herself $1140 + biometrics $85, another $1140 for her daughter (+ biometrics $85 if the kid is 14 years old and above). Just adding the numbers I have stated, the total is up to $3430 exclusive of costs that are yet to be determined. For the I-129F/K-1, you must have met within the last 2 years preceding the filing date, which you guys have fulfilled anyways. Make sure to keep a variety of evidence from all meetings for future use IF you do plan petition her under a I-129F for a K-1. Here's the K-1 guide: http://www.visajourney.com/content/k1guide.

 

Can't give you the breakdown for CR-1 because I've never paid attention to its costs BUT with a CR-1, she will be a green card holder upon admission into the US and she could work pretty much immediately after setting up a SSN. However, if working immediately does not matter to you and her, then maybe a K-1 is just fine. For a spousal visa, you'll need to be able to prove a bona fide marriage. Here's the CR-1 guide: http://www.visajourney.com/content/i130guide1.

 

Notes on the guides:

• G-325A is no longer needed. It has been incorporated into the main forms like I-129F and I-130. However, for a spousal petition, the foreign spouse needs to complete the I-130A in lieu of a G-325A.
• Current filing fee for both I-129F and I-130 is $535 excluding other fees and expenses. Fee structure: https://www.uscis.gov/forms/our-fees.
• Always download the most current edition forms from USCIS website. Form downloads: https://www.uscis.gov/forms.

 

Additionally, don't forget about sin sod aka dowry IF you do marry her and the potential lifetime support for her entire family back in Thailand. The immigration process is certainly not cheap by any means coupled with cultural expectations. Regardless, go into this with your eyes wide open and with your logic not emotions. Wishing you the very best!

[Holt 73]

10 hours ago, JFH said:

You took the words right out of my keyboard. I did suspect that she may have been working as a bar girl but was waiting for someone else to ask! And you're right about the whole "knight in shining armor" rescuing her from a terrible life and 'promising her a wonderful life in America' story. It's straight out of Miss Saigon. I am concerned that the OP is being played. 

Totally agreed. This reminds me about Cinderella Complex which I studied in college. However, I believe in good faith and true love lol. 

OP must spend a little more time before decide to do anything.

@sfcscott: Listening is a good habit while two brains work more effective than one. 

[Hin-d 16]

19 hours ago, JFH said:

You are going to base your decision about whether or not to marry her on what strangers on a forum say? That sounds odd. If you are ready for marriage, get married. If not, then don't.

 

In terms of immigration you have two options - a fiancé visa (whereby you MUST get married within 90 days of her arrival here with said visa) or spousal visa (if you get married first then file the petition for her visa). Read through the guides here for the pros and cons of each. Neither is perfect. 

 

You will also need to research the requirements for bringing the child here - in most cases the permission of the other birth parent is required. Or is she planning to leave the child behind?

 

I do have concerns with the amount of money you are sending to someone you have known less than a year and seen only twice. She survived before you were on the scene so she doesn't need your money now that you are in the picture. 

 

Also, you are still in the blissful honeymoon phase. We've all been there and it's great. But the reality of living here as an immigrant, especially for someone from a completely different background, can be very stressful and difficult. Now more than ever. I've had struggles and I'm British and had visited over 40 times before I moved here. Be prepared for some very tough times. Have a read through the more ugly threads here to see what I mean. It's not all rainbows and unicorns. 

I agree 100% Cultural differences can be a considerable obstacle to overcome! It certainly requires a good deal more work than if you were to marry a US citizen. If she's the right one, then It will be well worth the "difficulties" that you may or may not encounter, as I've experienced. I would do it all over again with my wife!

Good Luck

[NDB052714 122]

14 hours ago, JFH said:

You took the words right out of my keyboard. I did suspect that she may have been working as a bar girl but was waiting for someone else to ask! And you're right about the whole "knight in shining armor" rescuing her from a terrible life and 'promising her a wonderful life in America' story. It's straight out of Miss Saigon. I am concerned that the OP is being played. 

Hello...

 

it was never my intention to cast aspersions on the validity of OP's relationship. I think is is inappropriate for anyone on this forum to pass any sort of judgment. The ways of love are unpredictable and sometimes impossible to understand, and only the heart knows what the heart wants. I simply wanted to point out that the story as related may raise barriers difficult if not impossible to overcome during the adjudication and interview processes. 

[PedroDaGr8 245]

On 8/20/2017 at 2:13 PM, NDB052714 said:

Regardless of which visa you may elect to try for ( i.e. Fiancée vs married) if the consulate folks suspect for a second she ever worked as a bar girl any visa will be denied. There are too many red flags in your story (e.g. Meeting the first night out, spending every night together from the start,  rescuing her from a horrible job). 

 

On 8/20/2017 at 4:38 PM, JFH said:

 I am concerned that the OP is being played. 

I would give this a 95+% change of being correct. I've seen it happen too many times to count. Not to be negative but honestly stating the statistical odds, they are seriously that high.  

 

Additionally, I doubt OP has had much experience with these kinds of girls. They are very very talented at playing games, hell there are classes that the girls in Thailand can take to help them better catch a white guy. What to look for in a guy, how to spot the ones that are likely to care enough to send money, how to make him fall in love with you, how to keep him interested, how to hide your true intentions, how to get him to marry you, how to get him to send you money for yourself, how to get him to send you money for your kids/parents/etc. Seriously, these classes exist, but more importantly they don't need to go to a class to learn a lot of it; the bar girls teach this stuff to each other and have for decades. I know it sounds like I am bashing you and her, but lets be honest, the fact that she was a bar girl is a HUGE red flag that you are being played. It takes a certain kind of girl to work as a bar girl in Thailand and lets just say they tend to not be like the movie Pretty Woman, though their occupation is the exact same. When I say they play games, we aren't talking simple childish mind games, we are talking long con months and years to the pay off well rehearsed games. This is ignoring all of the other red flags that occurred, such as her staying at your place the first night (I'm sure others would agree that no respectable girl in Thailand would do that, especially, if you hadn't know each other well in advance first), staying there every night (again same thing), the fact that she's from a poorer family, likely not well educated, the child's dad isn't around (not sure on this one, but likely so), that she accepts money from you (a bit more of a grey area, depending on the situation), etc. This situations is red flags on top of red flags on top of red flags.

 

Now of course you could be the statistical outlier but do you want to risk it? Do you want to risk her cheating on you through out your marriage as she looks for a richer guy or  her divorcing you after a few years (either found a richer guy or just conditions are removed on the green card so she is free and you are still on the hook for her living expenses) or even worse her filing false spousal abuse charges against you so that she can get the VAWA protection and a more or less immediate green card? Every single one of those things not only happens, it is VERY common when dating bar girls. I can't count the number of stories I have heard from guys that ordered mail order brides and/or married bar girls from the Philippines, Thailand, Cambodia or Vietnam (to a lesser degree) and one of those things happened. The false spousal abuse charges has been much more common the past few years as it gives them a guaranteed green card AND gets the guy out of their life. 

 

Real talk time, I know when I was much younger and naive, I ALMOST got played by a similar kind of girl. So I know the feelings and emotions that you are going through, every single one of them. The only difference was 1) she wasn't a bar girl and 2) she was from the Philippines. THANKFULLY an older gentleman who was a friend of mine (and more importantly grew up in the Philippines) took me under his wing and explained to me whats up (called her pok-pok, I still don't know what that means but I got the impression it was quite bad). Told me what to look for, games she is playing, etc. Sure enough, turns out he was right. She may not have been an actual prostitute but the end result was the same, she was gaming me to try to get money and/or a green card from me. She didn't love me, she loved what I could provide and after she had that, she would be gone. Luckily, I woke up and entirely dodged a bullet. At that time, I didn't know all of the other stuff that COULD happen if I had married her, so I guess dodged two bullets. It also snapped me out of my naivety into a much more realistic sense of mind. After that, went on my normal American dating life, had good and bad relationships. Got married to a girl living here, it was solid but eventually we realized things were not going to work out and we were starting to hate each other. Got divorced (amicably, oddly enough) and back on the dating scene. Met my current wife 4-5 years ago, she is Vietnamese and was living in Saigon at the time. More importantly, she showed NONE of the red flags that your girl is showing or the girl I previously dated showed. She is a college graduate with a degree in Statistics. Her career is normal, she worked in a support role for data analysis and then upon our discussion and my recommendation on the Vietnamese Call Center team for the Asian-facing subsidiary of a major .com company in Bangkok, Thailand.  As for sending her money, she literally never let me send her a dime. Tried many times, she refused. Even when we went on trips together, she would try to pay for as much as she could afford, not 1/2 but easily 1/3 or more, which based on our salaries was MORE than fair. If I wanted to buy her family gifts for when I visited (Vietnamese, like Chinese, have a strong gift giving culture), she would even try to split that. It still took both of us a couple years to fully trust each other.  

 Anyways, back to the fact that she is a bar girl. She will NOT get a visa to the USA when (not if, but WHEN) they find out about her past occupation. Because such a high percentage of those relationships are the girl taking advantage of the male US Citizen to get a green card, they are essentially denied on principle.  Doesn't matter if you are engaged, married, etc. they will not approve a K1 OR CR1. Essentially your only reliable option to be together with her would be to live with her in Thailand. Of course, you can spend the money and try for her immigration here but it is almost guaranteed to be throwing a lot of money down the drain. Also, what everyone said about B visas, they are VERY VERY hard to get. Not impossible, for a normal citizen, but very very hard. For a bar girl, nigh impossible. 

 

Also, this has nothing in particular to do with her being Thai. I've known guys with great long marriages with women from Thailand. I've also known guys with horrible marriages to Thai bar girls. Just go read Thai visa forum if you want to see about that. You can ask some of them with direct experience on their opinion. 

 

 

On 8/20/2017 at 10:49 AM, Kevin86 said:

Yes I am aware of that. Getting her to understand has taken time. I know it the honeymoon stage now but we have had some stuff to get through. I know that the honeymoon stage won't last forever. 

 

I have really considered it. I have no serious ties here no debt. The only thing that is holding me back is making money there. I work with my hands and I am not a it guy. So the struggle to try to find work there would be hard from what I have heard. If it was just me living there I would because I know I would be able to do something to get by. But I want her and have a family with her I would not want to put myself or her in a situation where I don't know where the next dollar was coming from. 

Thank you!

You can teach English there. The job pays reasonably well, especially if you have a college degree (30,000-50,000 THB/mo) which is a solid livable wage depending on where you live. You will need a TEFL (relatively easy to get) and ideally a bachelors degree to get a work permit. It isn't super glamorous but you can live a decent life there and even save to travel. You could also look at call center work, there are a few call centers there that hire native English speakers (though those are getting less and less, as they hire non-natives instead for cheaper). In the end, it is up to you on if uprooting your whole life for you to live with her is worth it, especially in light of the rest of the details. Truthfully, if I were in your shoes, but NOT with her. I would go there and do it just to live life for a few years. Thailand is an awesome country and quite enjoyable for travel. Plus areas like BKK are great hopping off points to visit loads of other countries in the region (like Malaysia, Singapore, Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Japan, etc.) You could also teach English in other countries like China or Vietnam, which pay significantly better (especially after factoring in the cost of living) than Thailand, though a bit less "fun". 

Edited August 25, 2017 by PedroDaGr8

[Kevin86 8]

I appreciate all of the advice on getting a VISA. Thank you to all that gave me advice. I am well aware of all the other advice that people have given me on my girl and my situation. This was a post about a visa not on relationship advice with a Thai girl. Only I know what my relationship with her is like. So thank you I will be deleting this post and not updating anyone. 

[narakthisud 174]

If I could put my 2 cents in...

 

My wife is from Thailand and she recently arrived on a K1 visa. (We got married in March.) Despite her previous trips to the US and good English skills, she is still struggling to assimilate here. I realize that I'm straying from the main topic here, but I wanted to let the OP know that even if you have a great relationship, it's an uphill battle to get your new bride on her own two feet here in the US. It took 4 months just to get a work permit (EAD) for my wife and presently, she's without a drivers license because we also need to update her SSN card as well. Relationships take patience and USCIS takes even more patience!

 

Good luck with your journey, whichever path you choose!

 

(Feel free to PM me with any Thailand specific questions.)

[fordguy61mi 76]

"Since where she was working is not ideal for anyone"

 

You didn't meet her in a bar, did you? Was she a bar girl? You know that bar girl means prostitute, right? If she was, all I can say is do some research about guys marrying Thai bar girls before you start this process. I know you think this girl is different but trust me, just do some research.

Edited September 14, 2017 by fordguy61mi