Suicide note? (Update)

[Roel 7,192]

I wish we could hear her side of the story. I have a feeling (judging by your posts and words you use) that she'd have a very good reason to leave. She's an adult and doesn't need your consent for anything. 

 

Anyway. Divorce and move on. She can come back to states whenever she wants. You still signed paperwork stating that you'll support her and if she becomes a public charge, the US government will have a right to sue you for support. 

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

From my opinion, you make a wrong move by sending her back to Russia. On your original thread on March'17, most of them suggested that you shouldn't send her back to Russia. But, that is the thing you choose to do (I'm not sure why). I hope she is in this website and can tell us the story from her side. I really want to know what happened between you and her until she can changed into what you are saying. You should seek for help from the beginning. You should try to help her out from the beginning, not sending her back like that. She might feel that it is now over between you and her. You didn't love her anymore that is why her depression become much more worse now.
 

Can i divorce her in California if she is out of the country?

- Yes you can

Can she do anything to retaliate?

- Not sure, but she might doing that

Is there a way to make sure she doesn't come back to the U.S.?

- Nope, you can't do nothing to make sure she can't come back to U.S

[DILAW 94]

11 hours ago, Going through said:

This also includes the rights to property/assets you bought together, as well as 50% of joint accounts you have, and at least 50% of personal accounts in some States (yes, even personal accounts). Do yourself a favor and don't sell stuff/drain your bank account either in an attempt to avoid this---because even if you close the accounts, or move money around, banks can confirm ownership, transaction information, account balances and you'll end up being ordered to pay her back that too as part of your settlement.

 

Oh and by the way----it doesn't matter whether she worked, or contributed money into the accounts, or half-paid for the furniture, or half-paid for the car or "just sat at home all day".   Divorce is a split of assets down the middle.

I would have to ask how long the marriage lasted.  I know when I went through my divorce because it was almost 1.5 years long that the judge didn't give my ex a thing and almost threw her out.  But again, I owned my house and car before the marriage.  But I am speaking as far as the accounts.  What helped me too is her working.  She tried to go even after the increase in the house value during the marriage.  I represented myself, but most lawyers I asked for advise told me if the marriage is more than 3 years to 5 years that a judge might consider giving the wife something, but there is no formula and all depends on the judge and different factors.

The lawyers did ask me if she ever took depression medicine or had issues during the marriage.  Such issues would help her in court.....I remember them telling me this.

[Going through 5,669]

1 hour ago, DILAW said:

I would have to ask how long the marriage lasted.  I know when I went through my divorce because it was almost 1.5 years long that the judge didn't give my ex a thing and almost threw her out.  But again, I owned my house and car before the marriage.  But I am speaking as far as the accounts.  What helped me too is her working.  She tried to go even after the increase in the house value during the marriage.  I represented myself, but most lawyers I asked for advise told me if the marriage is more than 3 years to 5 years that a judge might consider giving the wife something, but there is no formula and all depends on the judge and different factors.

The lawyers did ask me if she ever took depression medicine or had issues during the marriage.  Such issues would help her in court.....I remember them telling me this.

OP said he's been married around 2 years.  I guess it depends on the State laws, too?

[GYnot 8]

Part of the consideration of what will happen depends on state laws, but in my first marriage which lasted 3 years. My lawyer was pretty confident I could have kept the house as she had a bankruptcy that prevented her from being part of the purchase and I had bought the home with pre-marriage assets and she had not worked for two out of the three years, ( stayed home with her kids from a pervious marriage). 

 

If you want to know the real deal bout your divorce situation your best bet is not to ask strangers on the internet who live in states different from yours, but instead call a lawyer who specializes in Divorce and have that lawyer describe your legal situation to you. Most of them will do an initial consult for little or no money.  If you really want a divorce, get one, take the advice they give you. 

 

Does your wife have a green card? How long is it good for? A good lawyer will explain those consequences for you as well. 

[Boiler 44,855]

Usually any increase in asset value during the duration of the marriage will be split between the parties.

[Mollie09 1,543]

10 hours ago, Meg&Andrew said:

Still doesn't hurt to take her name off of the account.  At least that way she can't currently get into his account and withdraw money whenever she pleases. 

It's a joint account.

Are there really banks that will remove one party's name without at least written consent?!

[DILAW 94]

1 hour ago, Going through said:

OP said he's been married around 2 years.  I guess it depends on the State laws, too?

Yeah, it really depends on lots of things, but I know anything less than 3 years is looked at as a short marriage in lots of states.  I remember one lawyer telling me that in California, anything less than 5 or 7 years is looked at as a short marriage.  If kids are involved, then its a totally different story though

[f f 725]

5 minutes ago, Mollie09 said:

It's a joint account.

Are there really banks that will remove one party's name without at least written consent?!

sure they would since he could easily withdraw all the money then open an account in just his name and put it all in.

 

california is a state where they will split all of the property gained during the marriage between the two people.

[Going through 5,669]

11 minutes ago, Mollie09 said:

It's a joint account.

Are there really banks that will remove one party's name without at least written consent?!

Most banks won't allow that without consent from the other party.  However, he can opt for the account to be closed without her consent.

All she would need to do, if she wanted to go after him for the funds prior in that account during the divorce, is contact the bank and give her name/account info and the bank can then issue her a statement regarding amounts in the account before closing, transaction lists, etc.  She could then, if she wished, hand that over to her lawyer to add with her case in the divorce settlement--can also be used as proof of marital discord/spouse's treatment of her if the lawyer wanted to twist it that way, I suppose.

 

Most banks keep statements going back at least 10 years.

Edited August 18, 2017 by Going through

[Meg&Andrew 297]

1 hour ago, Mollie09 said:

It's a joint account.

Are there really banks that will remove one party's name without at least written consent?!

Well my brother was just going through a seperation. Because it was his primary account, and he added hia wife to it, they allowed him to remove her from it. 

[Zzyzx 106]

13 hours ago, Roel said:

I wish we could hear her side of the story. I have a feeling (judging by your posts and words you use) that she'd have a very good reason to leave. She's an adult and doesn't need your consent for anything. 

 

Anyway. Divorce and move on. She can come back to states whenever she wants. You still signed paperwork stating that you'll support her and if she becomes a public charge, the US government will have a right to sue you for support. 

Do we really know this?  She doesn't sound like a saint herself.  The truth is none of us on this board know the truth.  Relationships and divorce are a messy affair even more so when it involves immigration.  It's easy to snipe and judge from afar when in reality this could have been the best move for both parties.   

 

And she can come back to the states anytime she wants if her green card doesn't expire.  Which it sounds like she isn't going anywhere without money.  Just my 2 cents.     

[Zzyzx 106]

18 hours ago, Igsy said:

Hello. 

I posted here a while back, and I hope this is the right place to ask my question. (if not sorry mods)

 

My wife and I were having issues and I found a suicide note typed in her phone. We did not seek help and instead, she went back to her country. I thought having her go back to her country would be a great idea because her grandfather is terminally ill and she was sitting at home all day. I saw this as a "two birds with one stone" situation , because she gets to de-stress and at the same time, support her grandfather. We also got in a disagreement before she left and she threatened to tell the police that i beat her, after she beat herself.

 

Things did not go according to plan, she visited her grandfather one time but then she re-connected with her old friends that live in Saint Petersburg, Russia. After spending about a month in her hometown, she moved to St. Petersburg (without my consent) , smoked marijuana (without my consent) and now she is having an affair with another man. Side Note: She wants money to go to Isreal and she said she needs 600$-1000$ for entry so that (Israeli Government or customs?) knows she can sustain herself. I know this because she opened up to me. I pretended to be lenient and calm.  I have messages saved on my phone. 

 

Tldr - Mentally unstable wife is out of the country and I want to divorce her the easiest way possible without being bullied by her

 

My question - Can i divorce her in California if she is out of the country?

                       Can she do anything to retaliate?

                       Is there a way to make sure she doesn't come back to the U.S.?

 

Link to my initial post

 

 

 

Since you are asking for advice I'll answer your questions at face value.  Don't send any money to her, she could use this to get back in to the USA.  This will keep her afar and reduce any chance she has to retaliate.  It sounds like she needs room to heal (and you also) and was simply not happy in the USA.   Since you plan to be apart it's best for her to figure out her situation, on her own.  She survived before she met you, and she will figure out now without you.  Good luck!     

Edited August 18, 2017 by Zzyzx

[Tahoma 2,291]

It doesn't matter whether the bank will close your joint account.  Don't risk leaving your money there, because she may withdraw it at any time.   If the bank won't close your account, withdraw all the money in your joint account (except for one dollar), and put it in another account.  Chances are good that she won't be hiring an attorney to contest the divorce, and she likely won't even respond to your divorce petition.  That being the case, you'll keep your money.  

 

And since you've been married for only two years, she'll likely get nothing in the divorce, contested or not.

 

Also, your chances of ending up on the wrong side of your I-864 is nearly zero, so don't worry about that.  

 

Get a divorce and move on.

[Igsy 15]

17 hours ago, Roel said:

I wish we could hear her side of the story. I have a feeling (judging by your posts and words you use) that she'd have a very good reason to leave. She's an adult and doesn't need your consent for anything. 

 

Anyway. Divorce and move on. She can come back to states whenever she wants. You still signed paperwork stating that you'll support her and if she becomes a public charge, the US government will have a right to sue you for support. 

 

I know that she cannot give her side of the story, and I may come off as a jerk husband to you but it really doesn't matter at this point. I said in my first post that i am not here to bash on my wife. I obviously can't give the entire story in a forums board and i'm trying to get help so that i can avoid any emotional or financial fallout.

 

By the way, I did receive a letter in the mail saying that we need to file a I-751 so how could she come back to the states if her Conditional Permanent Resident expires in October? I'm still reading the FAQ on this site to try to avoid the affidavit of support.

 

sidenote- Yes! she's and adult and she can do whatever she wants without my consent, but good luck to you if that's how your two-dimensional, black and white ways of viewing relationships/marriage is.