Suicide note? (Update)

[Igsy 15]

Hello. 

I posted here a while back, and I hope this is the right place to ask my question. (if not sorry mods)

 

My wife and I were having issues and I found a suicide note typed in her phone. We did not seek help and instead, she went back to her country. I thought having her go back to her country would be a great idea because her grandfather is terminally ill and she was sitting at home all day. I saw this as a "two birds with one stone" situation , because she gets to de-stress and at the same time, support her grandfather. We also got in a disagreement before she left and she threatened to tell the police that i beat her, after she beat herself.

 

Things did not go according to plan, she visited her grandfather one time but then she re-connected with her old friends that live in Saint Petersburg, Russia. After spending about a month in her hometown, she moved to St. Petersburg (without my consent) , smoked marijuana (without my consent) and now she is having an affair with another man. Side Note: She wants money to go to Isreal and she said she needs 600$-1000$ for entry so that (Israeli Government or customs?) knows she can sustain herself. I know this because she opened up to me. I pretended to be lenient and calm.  I have messages saved on my phone. 

 

Tldr - Mentally unstable wife is out of the country and I want to divorce her the easiest way possible without being bullied by her

 

My question - Can i divorce her in California if she is out of the country?

                       Can she do anything to retaliate?

                       Is there a way to make sure she doesn't come back to the U.S.?

 

Link to my initial post

 

 

 

[Crazy Cat 41,916]

She doesn't need your CONSENT to return to the US.

[Mary Lou 681]

1. Yes you can divorce her even though she is out of the country

2. Possible

3. No, not that i am aware of

Edited August 18, 2017 by Mary Lou
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[Going through 5,671]

After reading that your other thread from March that you linked to...and seeing the types of things you posted...your responses to others...your outlook on your wife's issues...and the amazing advice you received despite all that....

 

All I want to know is, as her husband, why didn't you seek help for her when she was crying out to you in so many ways for help?  You just sent her away, as though she were a burden (which is probably what she thought to herself  in her mind, given her state).  And now you will divorce her (which in her mind is what she probably feared in the first place, since she felt was a burden). Depression and suicidal thoughts do not go away because of a change of scenery.

 

I know, it's an immigration forum---we must give advice.  Ok, my thoughts to you on your query above:

 

Yes, you can divorce your wife.  She doesn't need to be in the US for you to begin divorce proceedings.

She doesn't need your consent to enter the US either during your marriage, during your divorce, or even after it's all said and done and over.

Of course she can retaliate during a divorce settlement---whether it's retaliation through suing for emotional distress/mental abuse or what-have-you.  Just because she is not a USC does not mean she has less rights than you in divorce proceedings.

 

Edited August 18, 2017 by Going through

[f f 725]

she does not need your consent to do anything on her own.

you can divorce her in california if you like. she will of course have a legal right to contest the divorce and argue before a judge that she deserves compensation.

you can't stop her from coming back to the us and if she decides to get benfits you are still on the hook for the i864.

do not throw her stuff away it is still hers and she can come after you for destroying it, it dosent matter that you bought it for her. it is hers.

[Going through 5,671]

6 minutes ago, f f said:

you can't stop her from coming back to the us and if she decides to get benfits you are still on the hook for the i864.

do not throw her stuff away it is still hers and she can come after you for destroying it, it dosent matter that you bought it for her. it is hers.

This also includes the rights to property/assets you bought together, as well as 50% of joint accounts you have, and at least 50% of personal accounts in some States (yes, even personal accounts). Do yourself a favor and don't sell stuff/drain your bank account either in an attempt to avoid this---because even if you close the accounts, or move money around, banks can confirm ownership, transaction information, account balances and you'll end up being ordered to pay her back that too as part of your settlement.

 

Oh and by the way----it doesn't matter whether she worked, or contributed money into the accounts, or half-paid for the furniture, or half-paid for the car or "just sat at home all day".   Divorce is a split of assets down the middle.

[Going through 5,671]

52 minutes ago, Igsy said:

 Is there a way to make sure she doesn't come back to the U.S.?

If she is a legal resident, and has the applicable documentation needed to enter the country, she can return.

By your profile, her AOS was approved.  I'm assuming she has the 2-year green card.

She can file a divorce waiver along with her application if and when she applies for the 10-year card, which removes you from the process.

She can go as far as becoming a United States Citizen without your consent, or involvement.

Edited August 18, 2017 by Going through

[Boiler 45,575]

She moved and smoked marijuana without your consent but I am not clear about the affair? 

Edited August 18, 2017 by Boiler

[Igsy 15]

46 minutes ago, f f said:

she does not need your consent to do anything on her own.

you can divorce her in california if you like. she will of course have a legal right to contest the divorce and argue before a judge that she deserves compensation.

you can't stop her from coming back to the us and if she decides to get benfits you are still on the hook for the i864.

do not throw her stuff away it is still hers and she can come after you for destroying it, it dosent matter that you bought it for her. it is hers.

You are right. Technically she does not need consent to do anything, but there are disagreements that happen, and consequences to her actions , like divorce.

12 minutes ago, Boiler said:

She moved and smoked marijuana without your consent but I am not clear about the affair? 

what's not clear? she told me she had sex with a 22 year old.

[Igsy 15]

What if the marriage is less than 2 years? What alimony could she get? plus i am using the GI Bill so i'm technically unemployed with an annual income of 0$. The bank account is joint, which i should fix ASAP, but aside from that, We did not purchase a vehicle or a home together (luckily).

 

She COULD come back to the U.S. but i doubt she will be capable of living by herself, especially if she won't have anyone to support her.

 

Anyway, thank you for your replies. 

[Lemonslice 4,859]

7 minutes ago, Igsy said:

What if the marriage is less than 2 years? What alimony could she get? plus i am using the GI Bill so i'm technically unemployed with an annual income of 0$. The bank account is joint, which i should fix ASAP, but aside from that, We did not purchase a vehicle or a home together (luckily).

 

She COULD come back to the U.S. but i doubt she will be capable of living by herself, especially if she won't have anyone to support her.

 

Anyway, thank you for your replies. 

People find jobs everyday - I will always remember the story of the immigrant fiancée who had a limo driver waiting for her to go to work the day after she landed.

[f f 725]

11 minutes ago, Igsy said:

 

She COULD come back to the U.S. but i doubt she will be capable of living by herself, especially if she won't have anyone to support her.

you would be supporting her through the i864. at least until she has had her greencard for 10 years.

[Going through 5,671]

16 minutes ago, Igsy said:

What if the marriage is less than 2 years? What alimony could she get? plus i am using the GI Bill so i'm technically unemployed with an annual income of 0$. The bank account is joint, which i should fix ASAP, but aside from that, We did not purchase a vehicle or a home together (luckily).

 

She COULD come back to the U.S. but i doubt she will be capable of living by herself, especially if she won't have anyone to support her.

 

Anyway, thank you for your replies. 

You're still on the hook for supporting her.

[Going through 5,671]

2 minutes ago, Going through said:

The bank account is joint, which i should fix ASAP,

Fix it how?  Taking her name off doesn't mean she is no longer able to recover funds from it during the divorce settlement.  Like I said, even if you withdrew all the money and hid it in your sock drawer, or closed the account altogether---bank statements reflect dates and account balances and transactions and ownership.

 

You think no one else before has tried to get away with draining/closing a bank account thinking the spouse is then not entitled to the money, before?  Doesn't work that way.

[Meg&Andrew 297]

Still doesn't hurt to take her name off of the account.  At least that way she can't currently get into his account and withdraw money whenever she pleases.