New Spinoff show- Before 90 Day Fiancee

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

Jesse on the tell-all was giving me Alexander Skarsgård in Big Little Lies vibes.  

 

I can't imagine that if they were faking it that they'd both behave so badly on TV, but maybe they were too stupid to plan it well.

[Mary Lou 681]

I think Jesse is showing himself how he really is. Darcey it seems has taken off her love goggles and is trying to stand up for herself, but still sounds like a door mat

[LabOz 915]

On 10/30/2017 at 11:52 PM, Dianalorena said:

 

Also I laughed out loud at the hair as keepsake, no Paul, that's not normal. 

Just be thankful the hair he gave her came from his head! 

[Dianalorena 1,153]

27 minutes ago, LabOz said:

Just be thankful the hair he gave her came from his head! 

oh yes. It could've been much worse

[Dianalorena 1,153]

6 hours ago, Mary Lou said:

I think Jesse is showing himself how he really is. Darcey it seems has taken off her love goggles and is trying to stand up for herself, but still sounds like a door mat

According to them, it was scripted. The fight seemed rushed, forced and out of nowhere. TLC plays with our hearts all the time and they're known for tweaking/faking some stuff.

 

[Mary Lou 681]

Just now, Dianalorena said:

According to them, it was scripted. The fight seemed rushed, forced and out of nowhere. TLC plays with our hearts all the time and they're known for tweaking/faking some stuff.

 

That's true, but Jesse has shown a controlling side the whole show

[Dianalorena 1,153]

1 minute ago, Mary Lou said:

That's true, but Jesse has shown a controlling side the whole show

that you're absolutely right about. He plays it as ''an alpha male'' but he seems to want to control everything about Darcey. The drinking thing rubbed me the wrong way. Not victim blaming, because it is totally Jesse's fault and he shouldn't treat her that way, but she has allowed it for the most part, and should stop doing so, set her boundaries. Although it's way easier said than done, I've helped friends get out of emotionally abusive relationships and I've been through on myself, it is harder to pinpoint and to escape, you feel like you're going crazy half the time. It is so draining. 

[JFH 12,191]

On 11/2/2017 at 1:40 PM, Dianalorena said:

that you're absolutely right about. He plays it as ''an alpha male'' but he seems to want to control everything about Darcey. The drinking thing rubbed me the wrong way. Not victim blaming, because it is totally Jesse's fault and he shouldn't treat her that way, but she has allowed it for the most part, and should stop doing so, set her boundaries. Although it's way easier said than done, I've helped friends get out of emotionally abusive relationships and I've been through on myself, it is harder to pinpoint and to escape, you feel like you're going crazy half the time. It is so draining. 

I did think that about the drinking (that he was very controlling)...  however....she was there for six weeks and the sum total of all the footage we saw was probably a few hours. Jesse said that a lot was cut out to protect Darcy's dignity and that the drinking was, in reality, much worse and more frequent than just the one incident we saw. Also Jesse has hinted that he has experienced alcoholism and its effects within his family. My husband is in a similar position. His father was an alcoholic and every morning in his childhood he would wake up to get ready for school and his father would be passed out on the sofa with an empty bottle by him. My husband doesn't touch a drop of alcohol and never has done because of his father. We never have alcohol in the house. If I have a glass of beer with a meal in a restaurant he tells me to "be careful". At first it bothered me but having heard what he experienced as a child, I can completely understand it. 

 

I think Jesse comes across as controlling but he's genuinely concerned for her health.  

[lucybelle 453]

5 hours ago, JFH said:

I did think that about the drinking (that he was very controlling)...  however....she was there for six weeks and the sum total of all the footage we saw was probably a few hours. Jesse said that a lot was cut out to protect Darcy's dignity and that the drinking was, in reality, much worse and more frequent than just the one incident we saw. Also Jesse has hinted that he has experienced alcoholism and its effects within his family. My husband is in a similar position. His father was an alcoholic and every morning in his childhood he would wake up to get ready for school and his father would be passed out on the sofa with an empty bottle by him. My husband doesn't touch a drop of alcohol and never has done because of his father. We never have alcohol in the house. If I have a glass of beer with a meal in a restaurant he tells me to "be careful". At first it bothered me but having heard what he experienced as a child, I can completely understand it. 

 

I think Jesse comes across as controlling but he's genuinely concerned for her health.  

 

Um, to an extent.  I get that Jesse (and your husband) want to stay away from it.  I and I understand that you and your husband have an agreement to not having alcohol in the house.  But I know many ex-alcoholics who are perfectly capable of being around people who drink and being okay with it.  My friends and family members know I drink and know not to comment on it, I know they don't drink and I make sure we always have non-alcoholic beer when they visit.  I guess it depends on the couple/relationship, but it is possible to have a healthy relationship with alcohol, or a healthy relationship with someone who drinks.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

2 minutes ago, lucybelle said:

 

Um, to an extent.  I get that Jesse (and your husband) want to stay away from it.  I and I understand that you and your husband have an agreement to not having alcohol in the house.  But I know many ex-alcoholics who are perfectly capable of being around people who drink and being okay with it.  My friends and family members know I drink and know not to comment on it, I know they don't drink and I make sure we always have non-alcoholic beer when they visit.  I guess it depends on the couple/relationship, but it is possible to have a healthy relationship with alcohol, or a healthy relationship with someone who drinks.

 

Eh, maybe.  My husband has maybe a beer a month at home and we do keep it in the house, but personally, as the child of an alcoholic, I couldn't ever be around someone who had a routine glass of wine with dinner.  It makes me extremely uncomfortable and often times women don't realize how much even a glass can change their personality.  

 

However, Jesse should have been very clear from the beginning that that was a condition of his interest in the relationship.  It isn't something you should expect someone to change after the fact.

[JFH 12,191]

45 minutes ago, N-o-l-a said:

 

Eh, maybe.  My husband has maybe a beer a month at home and we do keep it in the house, but personally, as the child of an alcoholic, I couldn't ever be around someone who had a routine glass of wine with dinner.  It makes me extremely uncomfortable and often times women don't realize how much even a glass can change their personality.  

 

However, Jesse should have been very clear from the beginning that that was a condition of his interest in the relationship.  It isn't something you should expect someone to change after the fact.

Exactly! I understand Jesse's position but this is something that should have been discussed earlier in the relationship. But this show is full of things like that. Paul should have told Karine about his past, Jorge should have been honest with Anfisa about his finances, etc. And I'm sure there are real-life examples on this forum too, given how quickly some of them jump into things and the threads we read where they only find out certain facts about their spouses AFTER moving around the world for them. 

[lucybelle 453]

5 hours ago, N-o-l-a said:

 

Eh, maybe.  My husband has maybe a beer a month at home and we do keep it in the house, but personally, as the child of an alcoholic, I couldn't ever be around someone who had a routine glass of wine with dinner.  It makes me extremely uncomfortable and often times women don't realize how much even a glass can change their personality.  

 

However, Jesse should have been very clear from the beginning that that was a condition of his interest in the relationship.  It isn't something you should expect someone to change after the fact.

Bottom paragraph I agree with. Every relationship is different and those terms should be discussed so no one gets a surprise. Quite the opposite of you, I would never be with someone who doesn’t drink. My favorite part of my day is having a beer on the porch after work with my husband and talking about our day. And while I absolutely support people who don’t drink (I love a DD!) it also makes me uncomfortable to be at dinner with someone who doesn’t drink. Makes me feel like a lush! 

[caliliving 606]

17 minutes ago, lucybelle said:

Bottom paragraph I agree with. Every relationship is different and those terms should be discussed so no one gets a surprise. Quite the opposite of you, I would never be with someone who doesn’t drink. My favorite part of my day is having a beer on the porch after work with my husband and talking about our day. And while I absolutely support people who don’t drink (I love a DD!) it also makes me uncomfortable to be at dinner with someone who doesn’t drink. Makes me feel like a lush! 

Hahaha I have more fun w a buzz on! 

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

1 hour ago, lucybelle said:

Bottom paragraph I agree with. Every relationship is different and those terms should be discussed so no one gets a surprise. Quite the opposite of you, I would never be with someone who doesn’t drink. My favorite part of my day is having a beer on the porch after work with my husband and talking about our day. And while I absolutely support people who don’t drink (I love a DD!) it also makes me uncomfortable to be at dinner with someone who doesn’t drink. Makes me feel like a lush! 

 

6 hours ago, N-o-l-a said:

 

Eh, maybe.  My husband has maybe a beer a month at home and we do keep it in the house, but personally, as the child of an alcoholic, I couldn't ever be around someone who had a routine glass of wine with dinner.  It makes me extremely uncomfortable and often times women don't realize how much even a glass can change their personality.  

 

However, Jesse should have been very clear from the beginning that that was a condition of his interest in the relationship.  It isn't something you should expect someone to change after the fact.

I am a child of a alcoholic as well and I completely get where you coming from honestly, and it took me along while to get over how I felt about my father. 

 

But with that being said I love having a beer or two a couple times a week while either I am watching a show or whatever because I consider myself a beer connoisseur. My wife doesn't have a problem with it because she knows me. If he had problems in the past in regards to drinking then he should have let her know right away before she even flew over to be with him. That's just like whenever I was dating someone new I told them that I would never ever be with a smoker. Due to having grown up in to that and my first wife was a smoker, and I swore to myself that I would never ever do that to my life again. So I steered clear of women who smoked. 

[lucybelle 453]

8 hours ago, cyberfx1024 said:

 

I am a child of a alcoholic as well and I completely get where you coming from honestly, and it took me along while to get over how I felt about my father. 

 

But with that being said I love having a beer or two a couple times a week while either I am watching a show or whatever because I consider myself a beer connoisseur. My wife doesn't have a problem with it because she knows me. If he had problems in the past in regards to drinking then he should have let her know right away before she even flew over to be with him. That's just like whenever I was dating someone new I told them that I would never ever be with a smoker. Due to having grown up in to that and my first wife was a smoker, and I swore to myself that I would never ever do that to my life again. So I steered clear of women who smoked. 

Yes! I would never be with a smoker!