thai bride price Thai bride sin sod amounts

[Ula Svensson 8]

Ning... now I see why you are so passionately fuled by this ignorance of mine hehe ok, yes ofcourse I would love to care for her family and that wouldn't matter if she were Thai or any other nationality, that's how I am... Thank You again for your input!!

[KULtoATL 1,551]

7 minutes ago, calyorker said:

Yes some or all of the money can be returned.. according to her, her parents would give us half of whatever we pay back so we can start our life together.. I have seen hundreds of stories of where some or all of it was given back.. I doubt that if they agree upon something they would risk throwing everything in their future away...I would not feel comfortable paying more than 200,000 bhat but I would start the negotiations with 100,000 and see where it goes... Frankly all this talk about it is making me upset and makes me want to just go to the Phillipines to live on a beach and grill fresh fish.. I dont like regret and if they still think that they will ever get 1.5 million bhat then I will have to say goodbye because thats a huge insult to me and my senses and its their way of saying goodbye

If I was in her position, I would feel very insulted and objectified if my parents were to ask for that much of dowry! But again, I do come from a different background and have a different mindset compared to a lot of Asian women so guess I'm just the anomaly 

 

Seriously, if they are still gonna push for the THB1.5 million, maybe it really is about the money and it was never about love. Money can't buy love. Even if you can only give them $5000 for dowry, that is still a lot of money. 

[Boiler 45,756]

Look at it from their point of view, the capital sum is nice but the big bucks is in the future income.

 

If you start low they will inevitably think a deal can be done somewhere in the middle, let them come back with a realistic number and start from that.

[KULtoATL 1,551]

5 minutes ago, calyorker said:

Ning, Yes ofcourse there are so many great Thai people, she is very stable but she is miserable because she has the world on her shoulders.. she is a nurse in a place very understaffed ad she works there most of her days, she gets very little sleep and then runs back to work more hours to save money for the house that her parents told her to buy them she believes its her responsibility...  We are talking about her coming to visit me first and that would be next year sometime, then I would go there for the Thai wedding and begin the visa process... she wants to be a nurse here and she does take english classes although her english is ok now

If you are getting married or having a Thai wedding ceremony first, you should be filing for a I-130 (CR-1 spousal visa) instead of a I-129F (K-1 fiancee visa). Just thought I would point that out in advance  You cannot be married to each other in any way, shape or form if you want to go the fiancee visa route.

[Ning 619]

6 minutes ago, calyorker said:

Ning, Yes ofcourse there are so many great Thai people, she is very stable but she is miserable because she has the world on her shoulders.. she is a nurse in a place very understaffed ad she works there most of her days, she gets very little sleep and then runs back to work more hours to save money for the house that her parents told her to buy them she believes its her responsibility...  We are talking about her coming to visit me first and that would be next year sometime, then I would go there for the Thai wedding and begin the visa process... she wants to be a nurse here and she does take english classes although her english is ok now

Do you know what it can take to get a tourist visa for a Thai? Do not minimize these aspects in your planning & approach to this situation. Have her send you a copy of her application. Tell her we are here to help her with that visa. Have her post with you. 

 

[Ula Svensson 8]

Yes, everyone awesome advise and input, I thank you so much and I will definitely be updating the situation here as it warrants.. 

 

 

Edited July 26, 2017 by calyorker

[ThyJourney 3]

Here's my two cents worth:

I would not pay Sid Sod. Before doing anything both of you should read 'Thailand Fever', because it's pretty accurate. Amazon sold it cheap: https://www.amazon.com/Thailand-Fever-Chris-Pirazzi/dp/1887521488/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501121760&sr=8-1&keywords=thai+fever

 

Next thing you should do is to take a vacation from your busy schedule and travel to Thailand and meet her in person and then meet her family. Sometimes it may not even work out and you'll both will not have to worry about anything. You have to remember before you two decide to get married there is a Engagement ceremony with small amount of money involved to pay for ceremony and little sid sod. Usually, after the Engagement ceremony the family will pick date for wedding for you two to choose and also the price for the Sid Sod will be discussed. In my opinion, you will be wasting a lot of money and you will probably will not see a penny of it after paying any amount of the traditional Sid Sod. 

Keep it simple and just do a K1 visa so she can visit the USA earlier time within a year. CR1 will take on average 14 months and might be too long for her to wait. Not sure where her  family is located, but if they are located near Bangkok this place offer good price for very good exquisite traditional ceremony. Of course, with every ceremony there is the thai traditional wear you will have to rent for yourselves and the family. http://www.rueanpranine.com/   or have ceremony at her place with her family and friends.

You mention she is nurse, right?  My wife is a nurse as well and is prepping for the board exam and licensing in USA. They will still need to prep for the certification board exam. Reason i mention this is because if she is here on CR1 after you two married there in Thailand. She could change her mind and leave you. Living in the USA is not what most think it is and most thai are cultural shock, home sick, lonely, etc. and will expect to travel back home to leave USA for good.

meaning you just lost  the entire Sid Sod and you will still be responsible for her expenses as stated in the Affidavit Support. 

With a K1 visa, she is here and if she wants to stay then your all good to go. You'll have extra money for making family, new house, etc....  You will not with Sid Sod. 

 

 

 

[Ula Svensson 8]

Hey ThyJourney, thanks so much! That's such great advice I will definitely look into that asap! A really appreciate that and what a beautiful girl you have,  such a great looking family! To be continued...

[NDB052714 122]

Perplexing situation for sure.

 

If I were you I wouldn't agree to anything until traveling to Thailand and getting to spend an extended amount of time  with the woman and meeting the family in their environment. Assess the entire situation for yourself. Maybe they're not lazy and selfish. 

 

Sorry if I missed this detail in your previous posts... do you have experience in Thailand? 

 

As someone else has said please don't minimize the difficulty for Thais to obtain tourist visas to the US. 

 

Good luck! 

[Ning 619]

12 minutes ago, NDB052714 said:

Perplexing situation for sure.

 

If I were you I wouldn't agree to anything until traveling to Thailand and getting to spend an extended amount of time  with the woman and meeting the family in their environment. Assess the entire situation for yourself. Maybe they're not lazy and selfish. 

 

Sorry if I missed this detail in your previous posts... do you have experience in Thailand? 

 

As someone else has said please don't minimize the difficulty for Thais to obtain tourist visas to the US. 

 

Good luck! 

I don't think this is all that hard to understand but we have to keep in mind that the O P hasn't even met this women. There should be no discussion of anything related to money & especially sin sod. Neither side realizes the damage that can be done but the Thais just cant let a chance go by & aren't used to investing in a future as an American may be. 

I suggest testing the waters by telling her to do as she indicates by seeking a tourist visa. I don't think she can get one but it would indicate what her true status in Thailand might be. And her will to put out some serious effort. Keep in mind the O P is on disability which may affect travel ect on his part. 

[Ula Svensson 8]

Hello to everyone again, yes I do like the comments here tonight  (US), (July 28th, 2017)...

NDB052714... Thanks for your input, no I have no experience with being on the ground in Thailand and to tell you the truth I cannot stand the heat and my girlfriend there, who has never been anywhere else and is very small is always complaining about it so I would surely die form it the moment I get off the plane..

Ofcourse I would never think of spending a penny into a relationship unless we got along good after some time and I don't mean great because it would always be a learning experience for us both but I'm convinced she's genuine and has a very pure heart and very selfless..

 

[Ula Svensson 8]

Ning, thank You again for your clearly superior knowledge and advice about this topic...

I DO realize the damage this could cause that's why I'm talking about it here hehe   It would be like a rattlesnake bite, it would die or be severely crippled for a long time...

Yes I am on disability (SSI) and thats brings another question to mind, to be able to host a foreign wife I have read certain income limits but also that they cannot deny someone on social security or SSI due to discriminatory laws, etc. and that is a big problem as well for sin sod... The other night I was in a bit of a disagreement with her and I'll admit it is usually my lack of patience and self esteem but I just threw it out there that I didn't want to stand in their way and I could never pay more than 100,000 bhat, yes I know that was a big mistake, I know and save all your comments about that ok but I really don't like to be in the dark about things..

I have no problem going to Thailand to meet them but I feel it's already tainted... luckily she doesn't share our conversations with her mom and shes always telling me that she is actively trying to work on her mom as far as her feelings towards me and how she doesn't need sin sod and that's why she's so aggressively working such long oppressive hours, her plan is to buy them or build them a new house and apparently she is almost there then she said she can come to me.. she wants to fulfill that dream for her family, again a very noble and commendable woman there! I tell her 10 times a day how she's a great and strong girl and I appreciate her! I have offered her my help in whatever aspect I can but she's very determined to do everything herself and states that time and again...

I do think it would be a better idea for her to come here for a week if she can, and yes I KNOW that's a big if but apparently she's confident about that, if this is where she really wants to live and be a nurse it would be so much more beneficial for her to see what it's like here instead of me going there first...

My entire life would be dedicated to helping her with her goal and dream of learning English medical terms and adjusting here comfortably, finding employment if she chooses and skyping her family every night, etc...

Thanks again for everyones thoughts!!

 

 

Edited July 29, 2017 by calyorker

[Ning 619]

8 hours ago, calyorker said:

Ning, thank You again for your clearly superior knowledge and advice about this topic...

I DO realize the damage this could cause that's why I'm talking about it here hehe   It would be like a rattlesnake bite, it would die or be severely crippled for a long time...

Yes I am on disability (SSI) and thats brings another question to mind, to be able to host a foreign wife I have read certain income limits but also that they cannot deny someone on social security or SSI due to discriminatory laws, etc. and that is a big problem as well for sin sod... The other night I was in a bit of a disagreement with her and I'll admit it is usually my lack of patience and self esteem but I just threw it out there that I didn't want to stand in their way and I could never pay more than 100,000 bhat, yes I know that was a big mistake, I know and save all your comments about that ok but I really don't like to be in the dark about things..

I have no problem going to Thailand to meet them but I feel it's already tainted... luckily she doesn't share our conversations with her mom and shes always telling me that she is actively trying to work on her mom as far as her feelings towards me and how she doesn't need sin sod and that's why she's so aggressively working such long oppressive hours, her plan is to buy them or build them a new house and apparently she is almost there then she said she can come to me.. she wants to fulfill that dream for her family, again a very noble and commendable woman there! I tell her 10 times a day how she's a great and strong girl and I appreciate her! I have offered her my help in whatever aspect I can but she's very determined to do everything herself and states that time and again...

I do think it would be a better idea for her to come here for a week if she can, and yes I KNOW that's a big if but apparently she's confident about that, if this is where she really wants to live and be a nurse it would be so much more beneficial for her to see what it's like here instead of me going there first...

My entire life would be dedicated to helping her with her goal and dream of learning English medical terms and adjusting here comfortably, finding employment if she chooses and skyping her family every night, etc...

Thanks again for everyones thoughts!!

 

 

I am sure all the members know & that you realize our comments are our efforts to help you. 

I am not clear on what you say about Thailand being tainted so early in this situation. It would be a great idea to go to Thailand one day to visit the country for many reasons but that should be preceded by an overall plan to achieve whatever it is you are really looking for. Plan on a winter trip & you will love the weather. 

The description of her & her life sounds very familiar to anyone that knows Thailand or is Thai. The fact that she is telling you that she cant come to you until that house is done should illuminate some things for you. Houses there are owned very differently than here. Ask her who owns the land. Is the house under construction? Who will live there once done? Has it been surveyed? How will the house be paid for? 

Ask her to get a little serious & get a tourist visa. You have nothing to do with that process but she has to submit some info to get the visa. If the embassy grants her a tourist visa it would mean she proved very strong ties to Thailand. Its possible she could get a 10 year tourist visa. I have a female Thai friend who did just that recently with a little help. She can come to visit in person some schools where she could take those dream classes including English. I myself have done that & continue to do so. 

 

[Ula Svensson 8]

Ning, Thank you so much again, yes I agree with everything you've said since the beginning of this post...

Ofcourse I realize everything here is in the interest of helping me and my girl...

I did not Thailand is in any way tainted, quite the contrary, I was referring to our relationship because that's what I thought was meant by that statement..

I would love to go to Thailand and especially if we end up together to visit her family and I would always do home improvements, buy supplies for them, etc..

They already own land, a small sort of farm with some cows, etc... they already have some sort of structure there where they can spend time at... 

She already has a significant amount of whatever money she has been saving towards that. She really does work more hours than are good for her health and she suffers migraines all the time due to that dedication..

As for who will live there it would be her parents and 25 year old sister who has some sort of job herself...

We do have plans and she often tell me to just be patient and trust her because she has a solid plan for me/us but right now the only thing she wants to focus on is getting through her working and caring for her parents who aren't in the best health either...  She mentioned the middle of next year and I have no reason to not believe her... I'm a pretty good judge of people and she seems to be very genuine, again..

I've never heard of that 10 years length of tourist visa, that would be great! 

I should add that I own land here and have a small farm myself doing aquaponics (growing fish and vegetables/fruit in a closed system) inside a greenhouse, bees for honey, sheep to clean the land we don't use and  for milk to make cheeses, chickens etc. and it's on a very small scale but it's way more than enough to feed us and sell alot which could be very lucrative if  I wanted to expand my sales which wouldn't be hard..

But I told her that I would insist on her staying involved in her Thai culture and life, I could easily construct a covered stone "temple" sort of structure for her to be at peace and quiet with the nature and "pray" to Buddha, contemplate life, etc. I would seek out Thai groups, restaurants, temples, families, whatever I can find here and any other form of home for her to make her comfortable... I think she would be very comfortable and it would be the peace she needs!

I'm sorry if it seems like I ramble on but you have taken alot of time and care towards our life together that I owe you some insight on the extent of my resolve and intentions, also the more you know, the better you can judge the situation, which, after all is why I did this.. 

As always, any other insights or suggestions would be greatly appreciated and I do intend to act on all of them..

[Boiler 45,756]

It is extremely unlikely she would be able to get a Tourist Visa, plan accordingly.