Issues and Problems

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Aicha none of us can know everything but how about going on back home to help with the family situation for a while, you can always return to morocco when things straighten out..

[aicha 0]

Reply to the last two posts -

That has been a consideration - I very much want to be there for my mother and step-father.

The problem I am trying to work out on that issue - I have no home to go home to anymore, I gave that up when I moved here, could not afford to pay rent there and live here too - my mother deos not have room to put me up - my children's landlords will not allow someone to stay with them any longer than a week. so currently I am trying to find a home, let alone going back to work. I have been off work for awhile due to a car accident and have been going through a lot of rehabilation myself - I was trying to change careers and have been working on that since I have been here, luckily I had some money to live on for awhile, but to say the least - that is disappearing.

Anyways - I am working on getting back home to them - I just have factors to work out to get there and have a place to stay. I guess a part of me too, worries about whether or not they will think I have given up on our marriage because I have said that my plans are to live side by side with my husband until we can return together - and God forbid, the way they work - who knows.

Thank you for the suggestions - I can only continue to take this one day at a time and do my best to get back to them - leaving my husband, I fear would not be good for me or him - this whole situation is not a good one. Last time we were apart, both of our health hit rock bottom - I can not even imagine this time since we have actually been able to live together and with everything happening in Morocco - you ca nsee where my mind is - not a good place.

None of this is right for anyone in this situation - when does it all stop - when do people get to make choices to live their own lives? When?

[meauxna 15]

- when does it all stop - when do people get to make choices to live their own lives? When?

10 minutes after the naturalization ceremony...

Hang in there.

PS: a longer visit can be negotiated with your kids' landlords (there may be other reasons to not stay there, but HTH).

[Fandango 1,439]

Reply to the last two posts -

That has been a consideration - I very much want to be there for my mother and step-father.

The problem I am trying to work out on that issue - I have no home to go home to anymore, I gave that up when I moved here, could not afford to pay rent there and live here too - my mother deos not have room to put me up - my children's landlords will not allow someone to stay with them any longer than a week. so currently I am trying to find a home, let alone going back to work. I have been off work for awhile due to a car accident and have been going through a lot of rehabilation myself - I was trying to change careers and have been working on that since I have been here, luckily I had some money to live on for awhile, but to say the least - that is disappearing.

Anyways - I am working on getting back home to them - I just have factors to work out to get there and have a place to stay. I guess a part of me too, worries about whether or not they will think I have given up on our marriage because I have said that my plans are to live side by side with my husband until we can return together - and God forbid, the way they work - who knows.

Thank you for the suggestions - I can only continue to take this one day at a time and do my best to get back to them - leaving my husband, I fear would not be good for me or him - this whole situation is not a good one. Last time we were apart, both of our health hit rock bottom - I can not even imagine this time since we have actually been able to live together and with everything happening in Morocco - you ca nsee where my mind is - not a good place.

None of this is right for anyone in this situation - when does it all stop - when do people get to make choices to live their own lives? When?

Ok, there's a lot of issues that you're obviously dealing with...imo, the best way to go about getting your head round all this is to take each thing at face value.

If going home for his surgery is not an option, then settle that in your own head. What good is bringing this up in your immigration case? Because tbh, the answer you'll prolly get addressing that is 'hey, nowt's stopping you from going home'. So as much as it's making you a nervous wreck, it's not related to your immigration case. The less you include confusing and irrelevant (from an immigration standpoint) factors, the more direct your letter will appear to be.

As far as your health hitting 'rock bottom' being apart...you have GOT to take responsibility for your health. Stress is an AWFUL factor on health & can seriously affect you (no one needs to tell you that)....so the thing you need to do is to try to stop getting so wound up. I know, wayy easier said than done, but how about some relaxation CDs? Meditation, yoga, etc...they all can play a part in relaxation. There are people all over the world dealing with the most heinous of circumstances...look at everything that's gone on just with the V Tech massacre. People unfortunately have to deal with horrible stress all the time...the good thing for you is that you can recognize that you and your husband love each other, will perservere through this together, will not be broken, and will see it to fruition one way or another. So if you two had to be separated, you both should keep yourselves calm and happy because you are doing it for each other.

Believe me, everyone here knows how sucky separations are. But it's something that most times cannot be avoided.

And as far as the last sentence I put in red...you ARE making your own choices. I think the crux of your issue seems to be a control one...and rightfully so as far as the roadblocks you've had. But immigration is not a right and petitioning a foreign spouse is one that is usually frought with issues of one form or another. Easy to say when my fiance's from the UK, eh? Not really, actually as our situation has other aspects that have forced us to wait for an extended period before submitting the petition. But eh, this is the path we've chosen, so raging against something we cannot change would do nothing but cause more upset. And Lord knows we all have enough of that anyways. I find comfort in the serenity prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Anyways, the only people with an emotional investment in your case is you, so when dealing with it to 'right the wrongs' it's prolly best to attack it from a logical & methodical standpoint. I wish you well & am pullin for ya!

[aicha 0]

Again - Thank You! I will do this one day at a time - that is all I can do right now. I am staying strong and despite the issues and the sadness in some areas - with my husband I am happy and together we will continue to fight for each other and our families - we will do what is best for them and us. Thank you!

I do believe though that things can be changed and in the end I hope I can be part of that change. And immigration should be a right - we are all immigrants in one way or another, either by ourselves or by our family somewhere down the line. I am only fourth generation born in this country - my family is immigrants from Ireland and England. My mind has been on this issue long before I ever made the choice to marry a man from another country. One voice does make a difference - that one voice becomes thousands, millions.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Okay - enough said - I tried and my point was still not understood. And yes - I was at the interview and seh is correct - the CO here does not allow the USC into the interview - they do not even allow you to wait by security.

I want to know one thing. Do you think the cards were stacked against you before he even got in there? If thats the case, why do they even send people approvals if evidence does not matter?

[mybackpages 0]

Okay - enough said - I tried and my point was still not understood. And yes - I was at the interview and seh is correct - the CO here does not allow the USC into the interview - they do not even allow you to wait by security.

I want to know one thing. Do you think the cards were stacked against you before he even got in there? If thats the case, why do they even send people approvals if evidence does not matter?

Approvals from USCIS have little or no bearing on consulate appovals. Two different departments. Two different set of guidelines. USCIS will approve petitions who meet their standards. For example the K-1 only requires you are a US citizen and have met your fiance within the last 2 years.

I am in the school of thought that Casablanca does prejudge cases based ont he evidence submitted with the original petition. I thnk the key characteristics Casa looks for are length of time together, explaination of meeting and timing of the engagement. A large age difference or language incompadibility only add to the suspicion.

Many of those that say the consulate did not look at the evidence brought by their SO, seem to have a great deal of red flags according to the consulate. It appears that what happens in the brief interview is enough to confirm their suspicion. So much so that submitting piles of emails and phone records is just not enough in the mind of the consulate to be enough to overcome the burden of suspicion.

Some couples are asked to show evidence. My fiance was asked to bring back more evidence. And many couples who do appear to have similar red flags (age difference, meeting ont he internet etc) appear to have no problems getting the visa. IMO part of the problem is not understanding the process. If we all went into the process knowing the burden of proof was on us to show a legitimate relationship and that the burder was a heavy one, we would all be better prepared and many of the good legitimate couples would not get snared in the fraud net.

[aicha 0]

Okay - enough said - I tried and my point was still not understood. And yes - I was at the interview and seh is correct - the CO here does not allow the USC into the interview - they do not even allow you to wait by security.

I want to know one thing. Do you think the cards were stacked against you before he even got in there? If thats the case, why do they even send people approvals if evidence does not matter?

My honest answer - yes, I think the Morocco CO in particular tries to find any red flag they can to tell people no. We have an age difference of 13 1/2 years. So I think they jumped on it. It did not matter that out of our almost 15 months relationship, that we have been living together for half of that, as a

[aicha 0]

Okay - enough said - I tried and my point was still not understood. And yes - I was at the interview and seh is correct - the CO here does not allow the USC into the interview - they do not even allow you to wait by security.

I want to know one thing. Do you think the cards were stacked against you before he even got in there? If thats the case, why do they even send people approvals if evidence does not matter?

My honest answer - yes, I think the Morocco CO in particular tries to find any red flag they can to tell people no. We have an age difference of 13 1/2 years. So I think they jumped on it. It did not matter that out of our almost 15 months relationship, that we have been living together for half of that, as a

[aicha 0]

Okay - enough said - I tried and my point was still not understood. And yes - I was at the interview and seh is correct - the CO here does not allow the USC into the interview - they do not even allow you to wait by security.

I want to know one thing. Do you think the cards were stacked against you before he even got in there? If thats the case, why do they even send people approvals if evidence does not matter?

My honest answer - yes, I think the Morocco CO in particular tries to find any red flag they can to tell people no. We have an age difference of 13 1/2 years. So I think they jumped on it. It did not matter that out of our almost 15 months relationship, that we have been living together for half of that, as a matter of fact - they would not even allow him to show any of our proof - nothing! To me there is something wrong in that.

They send the approvals fro mthe states - the CO is only supposed to go against the approval if they have concrete evidence that the relationship is a fraud - they are not even supposed to return the cases to he states because of the backlogs they are creating UNLESS they have CONCRETE EVIDENCE. With Morocco - you have a 50/50 shot, kind of like flipping a coin and calling heads or tails.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Okay - enough said - I tried and my point was still not understood. And yes - I was at the interview and seh is correct - the CO here does not allow the USC into the interview - they do not even allow you to wait by security.

I want to know one thing. Do you think the cards were stacked against you before he even got in there? If thats the case, why do they even send people approvals if evidence does not matter?

My honest answer - yes, I think the Morocco CO in particular tries to find any red flag they can to tell people no. We have an age difference of 13 1/2 years. So I think they jumped on it. It did not matter that out of our almost 15 months relationship, that we have been living together for half of that, as a

I think you should stress in your appeals GENDER BIAS. I think from what I am reading is that you have a clear case of GENDER BIAS.

From what i am seeing, there needs to be a tally of all denied visas and how many of them were women petitioning men. I think its clearly gender bias and if thebooks were opened, it will show that they are denying women on a much higer level. What drives me the craziest is the marriage brokers funneling women in and out of south america, the dominican republic and russia and there is no way most of these women speak english or are getting the drilling that you are getting. I really feel sorry for you and all of these women struggling against the obvious gender bias that is being dished out. If you are white, female and older than the beneficiary, then you can expect for people not to believe you love or are in love and then you have truckloads of mail order brides getting in here that I am SURE do not know half the things you know about your spouse... AND YOU ARE LIVING THERE FOR GODS SAKE. ThIS IS NUTS

[aicha 0]

Really I am beginning to hate computers - sorry for the multiple post there - this computer is old and sometimes i hit the wrong button too - doesn't help when I am using an arabic keyboard either - LOL - sorry!

[aicha 0]

Okay - enough said - I tried and my point was still not understood. And yes - I was at the interview and seh is correct - the CO here does not allow the USC into the interview - they do not even allow you to wait by security.

I want to know one thing. Do you think the cards were stacked against you before he even got in there? If thats the case, why do they even send people approvals if evidence does not matter?

Approvals from USCIS have little or no bearing on consulate appovals. Two different departments. Two different set of guidelines. USCIS will approve petitions who meet their standards. For example the K-1 only requires you are a US citizen and have met your fiance within the last 2 years.

I am in the school of thought that Casablanca does prejudge cases based ont he evidence submitted with the original petition. I thnk the key characteristics Casa looks for are length of time together, explaination of meeting and timing of the engagement. A large age difference or language incompadibility only add to the suspicion.

Many of those that say the consulate did not look at the evidence brought by their SO, seem to have a great deal of red flags according to the consulate. It appears that what happens in the brief interview is enough to confirm their suspicion. So much so that submitting piles of emails and phone records is just not enough in the mind of the consulate to be enough to overcome the burden of suspicion.

Some couples are asked to show evidence. My fiance was asked to bring back more evidence. And many couples who do appear to have similar red flags (age difference, meeting ont he internet etc) appear to have no problems getting the visa. IMO part of the problem is not understanding the process. If we all went into the process knowing the burden of proof was on us to show a legitimate relationship and that the burder was a heavy one, we would all be better prepared and many of the good legitimate couples would not get snared in the fraud net.

The sad part about your last paragraph - yes, the burden of proof is on us, but you have to be allowed to show that proof during your interview - how can you prove something if it is not allowed? I have watched people go through there with nothing and have a lot of red flags and no english and hey have walked out of there with VISA's - the system is flawed - they are playing guessing games - I have watched people go in there and have no red flags and not get their VISA. The Morocco CO is just flipping a coin most of the time.

[aicha 0]

Okay - enough said - I tried and my point was still not understood. And yes - I was at the interview and seh is correct - the CO here does not allow the USC into the interview - they do not even allow you to wait by security.

I want to know one thing. Do you think the cards were stacked against you before he even got in there? If thats the case, why do they even send people approvals if evidence does not matter?

My honest answer - yes, I think the Morocco CO in particular tries to find any red flag they can to tell people no. We have an age difference of 13 1/2 years. So I think they jumped on it. It did not matter that out of our almost 15 months relationship, that we have been living together for half of that, as a

I think you should stress in your appeals GENDER BIAS. I think from what I am reading is that you have a clear case of GENDER BIAS.

From what i am seeing, there needs to be a tally of all denied visas and how many of them were women petitioning men. I think its clearly gender bias and if thebooks were opened, it will show that they are denying women on a much higer level. What drives me the craziest is the marriage brokers funneling women in and out of south america, the dominican republic and russia and there is no way most of these women speak english or are getting the drilling that you are getting. I really feel sorry for you and all of these women struggling against the obvious gender bias that is being dished out. If you are white, female and older than the beneficiary, then you can expect for people not to believe you love or are in love and then you have truckloads of mail order brides getting in here that I am SURE do not know half the things you know about your spouse... AND YOU ARE LIVING THERE FOR GODS SAKE. ThIS IS NUTS

I am breaking my case up one by one - gender bias is another possibility - whenever there is an older woman and younger man, people look at it strange, but if it is the other way - it is normal. My mother is 15 years older than her husband and they have been together for over 20 years! And you are very correct on the mail order bride thing - it is allowed all the time and most of these women are paid for - I do not understand any of this double standard garbage. I am sorry, but I really have to keep coming back to remind them consistantly that I am living here - Dear God, how much more proof does someone need - but then again, they would not allow any evidence to be shown.

[mybackpages 0]

Okay - enough said - I tried and my point was still not understood. And yes - I was at the interview and seh is correct - the CO here does not allow the USC into the interview - they do not even allow you to wait by security.

I want to know one thing. Do you think the cards were stacked against you before he even got in there? If thats the case, why do they even send people approvals if evidence does not matter?

Approvals from USCIS have little or no bearing on consulate appovals. Two different departments. Two different set of guidelines. USCIS will approve petitions who meet their standards. For example the K-1 only requires you are a US citizen and have met your fiance within the last 2 years.

I am in the school of thought that Casablanca does prejudge cases based ont he evidence submitted with the original petition. I thnk the key characteristics Casa looks for are length of time together, explaination of meeting and timing of the engagement. A large age difference or language incompadibility only add to the suspicion.

Many of those that say the consulate did not look at the evidence brought by their SO, seem to have a great deal of red flags according to the consulate. It appears that what happens in the brief interview is enough to confirm their suspicion. So much so that submitting piles of emails and phone records is just not enough in the mind of the consulate to be enough to overcome the burden of suspicion.

Some couples are asked to show evidence. My fiance was asked to bring back more evidence. And many couples who do appear to have similar red flags (age difference, meeting ont he internet etc) appear to have no problems getting the visa. IMO part of the problem is not understanding the process. If we all went into the process knowing the burden of proof was on us to show a legitimate relationship and that the burder was a heavy one, we would all be better prepared and many of the good legitimate couples would not get snared in the fraud net.

The sad part about your last paragraph - yes, the burden of proof is on us, but you have to be allowed to show that proof during your interview - how can you prove something if it is not allowed? I have watched people go through there with nothing and have a lot of red flags and no english and hey have walked out of there with VISA's - the system is flawed - they are playing guessing games - I have watched people go in there and have no red flags and not get their VISA. The Morocco CO is just flipping a coin most of the time.

I agree there needs to be some change to the process and I am so sorry you are caught in this situation. I think though that the ways the policy is written that Casa has decided the way they will carry out that policy. The rules say if the Consulate does not think the submission of more evidence will be enoug to overcome the burden of proof, it is not necessary to ask for it. Consulates have a great deal of autonomy in the way they carry out policy. Casa for example is one of the few consulates that does not require an affidavit of support for the K-1 visa.

What happens at Casa is not much different than what happens at other high fraud consulates. The entire system has flaws not just Casa.

I am curious why you think the age difference was the key factor for you. We have the same age difference and it was no problem (in the end anyway- who knows what they thought when they saw our petition). Based on the information you have posted here before, it seems there was more to it than just that. I am not saying it isn't a factor, but I think we have to look at the whole picture and not just one characteristic.

I think it may appear to be a coin toss, but I think we are looking at from the outside and there are key pieces ot the puzzle we are missing. At best any guessing on what is happening is based on circumstancial evidence.

I do hope this is resolved for you soon.

Edited April 22, 2007 by mybackpages