Issues and Problems

[aicha 0]

I do not know if this is the right place to post this, but I think it is a topic for "site related discussion".

Yesterday I made a post - "K-3 Denial - Morocco, of course, Post of my situation, information for all - I even have a lawyer" - and I was floored! Someone asked me if I had posted anything about my denial - I told that person No and said that I would do that. I did that - and I regret it very much!!!!!!!

In my honest opinion - after my post and the numerous replies it got, I came to the conclusion that some people do just not read completely all that is being said. My husband and I are both suffering right now - due to a problem CO, my very scared children because of where I am and the events taking place here, and because of the situation with our denial!

I felt that I was just hammered by comments of people who were just not understanding any of what I was saying. To say the least my suffering grew tremendously because of all of the things being said without knowing facts before speaking. I gave bits of information and would have been happy to give more by people asking questions before offering advice or speaking their opinions before knowing all facts in the case.

There were some very nice comments from some people and for those, I really appreciate your words and your support for our fight and the things we are going through.

But just a note to the rest - please think before you speak and make sure you have all facts before offering your opinions or advice. I cried most of the night because even though I kept trying to answer all of the comments - not too many were bothering to listen. People come here for support, for information and to try and help ease their journey, let alone their frustrations and pain in the process of what we all undertake. I think this is something that everyone needs to remember before they offer comment without facts.

And just to set the record straight - I did not tell the CO that their report was a fabrication or a lie - I merely was stating that to this group - and in my detailed interview letter taht was just for pure purpose of record and meant to be a little colored - I did not, again, did not tell them that they lied - I made a statement that would open the door a little to consider that there may have been some misunderstandings, misstatements or miscommunications - big difference. If you think this is just a nice way to tell them they are lying - fine, but it was jsut a statement! Has this been my only contact or my only letters to them - No! My husband has also sent in his Own Personal Letter.

Whatever the case, I have been told by many that they can never get response from this CO - only them telling them that the case has been returned and talk to the USCIS - My continued attempts of communication with this CO have brought results taht some of you wait for months to receive. I feel taht whether it is good or bad - I am making progress and I am establishing contact and forming relationship to hopefully, prayerfully - in the end have results and obtain our VISA!

If you think this is harsh - I apologize, but harsh was what I, and my husband felt yesterday when we were tore apart for something that we are getting results on. Our pain is deep enough from this process and from this soft denial.

Have a beautiful day - I know I will - because even though my husband does not have his VISA yet - we are together, living side by side. I made a choice to marry a man from another country, which in turn made me understand that that choice may have to be living in his country and not mine - that is love, that is marriage - that is a bond that you figure out when faced with a decision of a life-long commitment - we made that commitment together, forever!

[Fandango 1,439]

You do realize that everyone and their mother are going to now descend on the thread in question?

Messageboards=drama.

[LaL 418]

I am sure some statements stung a bit, but I kinda thought the thread was quite informative and provided you with a bit more guidance different than how your lawyer could!

I hope it works out for you.

[aicha 0]

I am sure some statements stung a bit, but I kinda thought the thread was quite informative and provided you with a bit more guidance different than how your lawyer could!

I hope it works out for you.

Thank you for your comments. The statements did not sting - it disappointmed me because people again choose to speak before knowing the facts. This is a support website - not a governement mandated place to visit. Opinions and statements were made taht were no better then exactly what the CO did - assumptions without proof - conclusions without facts - decisions without at least looking at all evidence. I did however, already know the information offered. My whole point - please ask questions before commenting. I am a very detailed researcher and do not act without knowing what I am doing. My lawyer is offering advice he should not be offering me ( how to get around the system), but he is trying to get my husband here and if that means breaking a few rules on his side then I guess he is willing to do that.

[Fandango 1,439]

I am sure some statements stung a bit, but I kinda thought the thread was quite informative and provided you with a bit more guidance different than how your lawyer could!

I hope it works out for you.

Thank you for your comments. The statements did not sting - it disappointmed me because people again choose to speak before knowing the facts. This is a support website - not a governement mandated place to visit. Opinions and statements were made taht were no better then exactly what the CO did - assumptions without proof - conclusions without facts - decisions without at least looking at all evidence. I did however, already know the information offered. My whole point - please ask questions before commenting. I am a very detailed researcher and do not act without knowing what I am doing. My lawyer is offering advice he should not be offering me ( how to get around the system), but he is trying to get my husband here and if that means breaking a few rules on his side then I guess he is willing to do that.

I agree with Lal brandow. Shonnie and others gave some excellent advice, and you're not even paying attention to what's been said. Remove the emotion from the 'he said she said' which will get you nowhere, and address the issues that they cited for not being approved. This is emotional for you, but not for them....address each claim in a methodical fashion and not from the standpoint of 'they fabricated!!'

The very nature of your thread called for speculation & the simple fact that you started the thread calling for advice opened you up to it. Ultimately, no one here can tell you the 'magic answers'. How in the world would everyone here 'know all the facts' of your case? Even with you presenting every single last one of them, they are your perspective of the facts of your case. Actually, assuming you weren't in the actual interview either, you've based your opinion on hearsay as it is & are really not in a position to call anyone a liar since you were not the one witnessing what actually happened.

You give half a story and then bash people for forming an opinion without all the facts, which seems odd to me. Regardless, If you don't want to hear the answers, don't ask the questions!

Edited April 16, 2007 by LisaD

[aicha 0]

You do realize that everyone and their mother are going to now descend on the thread in question?

Messageboards=drama.

That is their choice to do so and I am okay with that - I just wanted to make a point with a clear board. And yes- you are right - message boards = drama - but that is because people choose to do that. I just want to come here and try to help people and to give information - it is just like my petition I tried to start and give people here the oportunity to sign it - they assume it is something I am doing for my personal case - but that is far from the truth. It was planned to do after we got to the states and for all people - but we got stuck here, so I decided to do it now because I have the time to devote to it. It is merely a statement to get people to think a little about what they are doing and saying - if that is wrong - I apologize.

And jsut so people know - I did not cry because the things people said stung - I cried because I just do not understand why people sit here and do things no better thena the way the government and CO's do to all of us and I cried because people would not listen to what I was trying to say. For those reasons I do not usually go on and introduce myself to groups - this is what happens.

But thank you for your statement - it was correct.

[Fandango 1,439]

You do realize that everyone and their mother are going to now descend on the thread in question?

Messageboards=drama.

That is their choice to do so and I am okay with that - I just wanted to make a point with a clear board. And yes- you are right - message boards = drama - but that is because people choose to do that. I just want to come here and try to help people and to give information - it is just like my petition I tried to start and give people here the oportunity to sign it - they assume it is something I am doing for my personal case - but that is far from the truth. It was planned to do after we got to the states and for all people - but we got stuck here, so I decided to do it now because I have the time to devote to it. It is merely a statement to get people to think a little about what they are doing and saying - if that is wrong - I apologize.

And jsut so people know - I did not cry because the things people said stung - I cried because I just do not understand why people sit here and do things no better thena the way the government and CO's do to all of us and I cried because people would not listen to what I was trying to say. For those reasons I do not usually go on and introduce myself to groups - this is what happens.

But thank you for your statement - it was correct.

Ok, I realize this is a very trying time, but you really need to gain focus at this point and quit worrying about all these perceived slights.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Aicha dont put yourself out there like this, there are some that will NEVER get it no matter how hard you try. Until they are in that position they wont know. You tried, help those that look for the help and i thank you for what you have posted, between you and a few others you got me started on the process otherwise i would have been lost.

[aicha 0]

I am sure some statements stung a bit, but I kinda thought the thread was quite informative and provided you with a bit more guidance different than how your lawyer could!

I hope it works out for you.

Thank you for your comments. The statements did not sting - it disappointmed me because people again choose to speak before knowing the facts. This is a support website - not a governement mandated place to visit. Opinions and statements were made taht were no better then exactly what the CO did - assumptions without proof - conclusions without facts - decisions without at least looking at all evidence. I did however, already know the information offered. My whole point - please ask questions before commenting. I am a very detailed researcher and do not act without knowing what I am doing. My lawyer is offering advice he should not be offering me ( how to get around the system), but he is trying to get my husband here and if that means breaking a few rules on his side then I guess he is willing to do that.

I agree with Lal brandow. Shonnie and others gave some excellent advice, and you're not even paying attention to what's been said. Remove the emotion from the 'he said she said' which will get you nowhere, and address the issues that they cited for not being approved. This is emotional for you, but not for them....address each claim in a methodical fashion and not from the standpoint of 'they fabricated!!'

The very nature of your thread called for speculation & the simple fact that you started the thread calling for advice opened you up to it. Ultimately, no one here can tell you the 'magic answers'. How in the world would everyone here 'know all the facts' of your case? Even by you presenting them, they are your perspective of the facts of your case.

If you don't want to hear the answers, don't ask the questions!

I did not ask for advice - I MADE A POST BECAUSE SOMEONE ASKED ME IF I POSTED ABOUT MY EXPERInCE YET - I listened to everything that everyone said - but you can not give advice without asking questions. It is amazing how, my post turned in to be, me asking for help - if I want help - I will ask for it - there were those who asked me in a personal message if I needed assistance and I appreciate the way they did that. MY POST WAS IN HOPES TO HAVE OTHERS ALSO POST THEIR EXPERIENCE - NOT TO GET HELP OF ADVICE! IF THEY WANTED TO ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS - THEN GREAT - ASK ME, BUT ASK SOMEONE IF THEY NEED HELP BEFORE OFFERING UNDUE ADVICE.

And by the way - my emotions are jsut fine and are under complete control - I went into this marriage with knowing taht we could possibly denied - I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT! I AM PREPARED TO LIVE HERE FOREVER - I CAN GO BACK TO THE STATES AND SEE MY FAMILY ON VISITS - I AM MERELY HERE TRYING TO HELP OTHERS - NOTHING MORE - NOTHING LESS. IF INEED HELP - I WILL ASK POINT BLANK!

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

IF INEED HELP - I WILL ASK POINT BLANK!

Allrighty, then.

[aicha 0]

Aicha dont put yourself out there like this, there are some that will NEVER get it no matter how hard you try. Until they are in that position they wont know. You tried, help those that look for the help and i thank you for what you have posted, between you and a few others you got me started on the process otherwise i would have been lost.

Thanks - and you are 100 percent correct! I will continue to be there for anyone who asks for my help! I am okay with the things that have happened to me and my husband t is it right - no - but I am okay with it - I just found something now that i can focus work on - trying to change laws for all of those who are just trying to make choices for their own lives. I was not wure what kind of work I would do while i lived here, but at least now I know - I have a lot of things in the governmetn spectrum that I would like to change here and there! This just merely gives me time to work on them!

There is a reason behind all that happens in life - and God will open the doors to show me the reasons for our decision - I am not angry - I am not hurt - I am not frustrated - I am happy because I married and love a man who is wonderful and we have the choice to live together here.

Whatever you need, let me know - I will do my best to help in any way I can.

[Fandango 1,439]

I am sure some statements stung a bit, but I kinda thought the thread was quite informative and provided you with a bit more guidance different than how your lawyer could!

I hope it works out for you.

Thank you for your comments. The statements did not sting - it disappointmed me because people again choose to speak before knowing the facts. This is a support website - not a governement mandated place to visit. Opinions and statements were made taht were no better then exactly what the CO did - assumptions without proof - conclusions without facts - decisions without at least looking at all evidence. I did however, already know the information offered. My whole point - please ask questions before commenting. I am a very detailed researcher and do not act without knowing what I am doing. My lawyer is offering advice he should not be offering me ( how to get around the system), but he is trying to get my husband here and if that means breaking a few rules on his side then I guess he is willing to do that.

I agree with Lal brandow. Shonnie and others gave some excellent advice, and you're not even paying attention to what's been said. Remove the emotion from the 'he said she said' which will get you nowhere, and address the issues that they cited for not being approved. This is emotional for you, but not for them....address each claim in a methodical fashion and not from the standpoint of 'they fabricated!!'

The very nature of your thread called for speculation & the simple fact that you started the thread calling for advice opened you up to it. Ultimately, no one here can tell you the 'magic answers'. How in the world would everyone here 'know all the facts' of your case? Even by you presenting them, they are your perspective of the facts of your case.

If you don't want to hear the answers, don't ask the questions!

I did not ask for advice - I MADE A POST BECAUSE SOMEONE ASKED ME IF I POSTED ABOUT MY EXPERInCE YET - I listened to everything that everyone said - but you can not give advice without asking questions. It is amazing how, my post turned in to be, me asking for help - if I want help - I will ask for it - there were those who asked me in a personal message if I needed assistance and I appreciate the way they did that. MY POST WAS IN HOPES TO HAVE OTHERS ALSO POST THEIR EXPERIENCE - NOT TO GET HELP OF ADVICE! IF THEY WANTED TO ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS - THEN GREAT - ASK ME, BUT ASK SOMEONE IF THEY NEED HELP BEFORE OFFERING UNDUE ADVICE.

And by the way - my emotions are jsut fine and are under complete control - I went into this marriage with knowing taht we could possibly denied - I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT! I AM PREPARED TO LIVE HERE FOREVER - I CAN GO BACK TO THE STATES AND SEE MY FAMILY ON VISITS - I AM MERELY HERE TRYING TO HELP OTHERS - NOTHING MORE - NOTHING LESS. IF INEED HELP - I WILL ASK POINT BLANK!

How does your thread help anyone other than giving you a means to vent? The discussion quickly turned into people offering methods of how to address the issues, but you were more concerned with calling the COs liars. Nothing's wrong with venting, mind you, but to dress it up as 'helpful' seems a bit off to me.

BTW, did you not go to the interview with your husband? If the problem was they were unsure of your communication skills, you could have been brought in to illustrate them.

[mybackpages 0]

I am sure some statements stung a bit, but I kinda thought the thread was quite informative and provided you with a bit more guidance different than how your lawyer could!

I hope it works out for you.

Thank you for your comments. The statements did not sting - it disappointmed me because people again choose to speak before knowing the facts. This is a support website - not a governement mandated place to visit. Opinions and statements were made taht were no better then exactly what the CO did - assumptions without proof - conclusions without facts - decisions without at least looking at all evidence. I did however, already know the information offered. My whole point - please ask questions before commenting. I am a very detailed researcher and do not act without knowing what I am doing. My lawyer is offering advice he should not be offering me ( how to get around the system), but he is trying to get my husband here and if that means breaking a few rules on his side then I guess he is willing to do that.

I agree with Lal brandow. Shonnie and others gave some excellent advice, and you're not even paying attention to what's been said. Remove the emotion from the 'he said she said' which will get you nowhere, and address the issues that they cited for not being approved. This is emotional for you, but not for them....address each claim in a methodical fashion and not from the standpoint of 'they fabricated!!'

The very nature of your thread called for speculation & the simple fact that you started the thread calling for advice opened you up to it. Ultimately, no one here can tell you the 'magic answers'. How in the world would everyone here 'know all the facts' of your case? Even by you presenting them, they are your perspective of the facts of your case.

If you don't want to hear the answers, don't ask the questions!

I did not ask for advice - I MADE A POST BECAUSE SOMEONE ASKED ME IF I POSTED ABOUT MY EXPERInCE YET - I listened to everything that everyone said - but you can not give advice without asking questions. It is amazing how, my post turned in to be, me asking for help - if I want help - I will ask for it - there were those who asked me in a personal message if I needed assistance and I appreciate the way they did that. MY POST WAS IN HOPES TO HAVE OTHERS ALSO POST THEIR EXPERIENCE - NOT TO GET HELP OF ADVICE! IF THEY WANTED TO ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS - THEN GREAT - ASK ME, BUT ASK SOMEONE IF THEY NEED HELP BEFORE OFFERING UNDUE ADVICE.

And by the way - my emotions are jsut fine and are under complete control - I went into this marriage with knowing taht we could possibly denied - I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT! I AM PREPARED TO LIVE HERE FOREVER - I CAN GO BACK TO THE STATES AND SEE MY FAMILY ON VISITS - I AM MERELY HERE TRYING TO HELP OTHERS - NOTHING MORE - NOTHING LESS. IF INEED HELP - I WILL ASK POINT BLANK!

How does your thread help anyone other than giving you a means to vent? The discussion quickly turned into people offering methods of how to address the issues, but you were more concerned with calling the COs liars. Nothing's wrong with venting, mind you, but to dress it up as 'helpful' seems a bit off to me.

BTW, did you not go to the interview with your husband? If the problem was they were unsure of your communication skills, you could have been brought in to illustrate them.

I think Lisa you are spot on in your observation, but just a point of clarification, Casablanca does not allow the UCS in the interview.

[aicha 0]

Okay - enough said - I tried and my point was still not understood. And yes - I was at the interview and seh is correct - the CO here does not allow the USC into the interview - they do not even allow you to wait by security.

[Mags 112]

BTW, did you not go to the interview with your husband? If the problem was they were unsure of your communication skills, you could have been brought in to illustrate them.

From what I understand, she had to wait outside the Embassy.