OUT Magazine Encourages Readers to ‘Drop’ Gay Republican Friends

[Dashinka 24,962]

4 hours ago, Boiler said:

To be fair it is not just Gays that receive this treatment, any member of a preferred group that does not subscribe to the identi think is a target.

I agree, if one is a black conservative, one is usually labeled with a derogatory label.  A union member that does not toe the union's political line may find their work life a little harsh.  Seems a bit intolerant and even a little fascist to me.

[OriZ 3,157]

6 hours ago, IAMX said:

At least you don't have serious problems with what I had before. I'm honestly not even sure of my wife's religious views.. she's sort of between agnostic and gnostic. Politically we seem to agree a lot, my wife is quite reasonable and despite being rather clueless about American politics she's quite fed up with the left too regarding Trump.. we've seen people complain about him here in Calgary of all places. It's actually funny watching her complain about leftists.

 

But where the conflict has come into play has been with her in-laws. Examples:

 

- Her mother tried to swat the hand of my daughter and take spoons from her when she would eat with her left hand and put them in her right hand.. I told her never to do that again as this is not for her to decide.

- Her mother tried to take my daughter to a Buddhist temple and have some ritual done to my daughter as well as have her wear Buddhist jewelry. I said no way in hell to those as well.

- She tried countless times to insist on bringing my daughter to a temple with her.. I won't let her.

 

Of course, these are people who are first gen immigrants.. her family from her mother and older fled Laos, China, Vietnam, Thailand, etc. around the time of the Vietnam War and came to Canada. Most of them live in the Toronto area but some live in Montreal. I think one lives in Calgary but she's a ####### and we have nothing to do with her. Many of these people (the older generation) were under the impression that white people are cultureless and will adapt to any culture they come into contact with. I get the sense that this is a prevailing attitude among many non-whites throughout the world, as I've seen this attitude extremely prominent in California coming from Hispanics. It gets worse when this attitude is appeased and catered to. The younger generation, which includes my wife, and some of her cousins with whom we have exceptional relationships with, pretty much entirely buck their culture and are all Canadian. Hell, when I first talked to my wife on the phone before we were even together, I never even knew she was Asian. She sounded like any other typical Canadian with a Great Lakes accent like family of my own living in Michigan, and she had the demeanor of every Canadian I had talked to prior. She certainly acts nothing like the older generation in her family. I tried very hard to get along with those people as I do with anyone but they simply took on this attitude forgetting where they are, and presuming they would control my wife and myself by proxy through my wife. As an immigrant myself, it's rather mind boggling that anyone can excuse refusing to assimilate to where they move to.

 

But anyhow, regarding your parents, were they closed-minded about who you could or should date.. along with siblings? 

 

Growing up, my half-sister (the half-black one that's still alive and moved from California to Texas) used to get on mothers last nerves all the time. Mother was super conservative about her daughter (she let me do whatever I wanted) and always saw things through her own lens without adapting to the times or accepting her daughter for who she is. She would try and get me to tell my sister when she wanted a piercing in her teens and such not to get it and convince her not to, but I refused, often times fighting with mother instead, along with other judgmental family members, when they'd criticize her. Spent much of childhood defending my sister from other people, even getting my first school suspension for knocking a kids teeth our because he called my sister the n-word within ear-shot (she was extremely dark when young and looked very black, but now no one can overtly tell she's mixed -- actually mirrors my own daughter, people initially thought she wasn't even mine because she looked so Asian when born, now she looks like many of the women on my moms side when they were young). And given there's so many wealthy people on my dads side that own quite a lot of businesses throughout California, they are extremely conservative as well. There was a time when California was more politically diverse. I suspect many of them ran the hell away as the lefties took over.

 

I guess the thing is.. you can surround yourself with more diversity in the US.. but the question is, can you ever learn anything from it? Sort of like the FOX News mantra.. fair and balanced = get two polar extremes together and somewhere you might find middle ground? Not a chance.. you just have two polarized people, not middleground. So in some ways I'm amazed that there are people anymore who can actually compromise, it's not much in the environment in the US anymore, and this is one of the reasons I felt compelled to leave. 

Definitely agree with the part in bold. Also, I don't think you have to compromise or find middle ground so long as you're open to at least hearing and considering both sides and as long as you don't sever ties with people with opposing views, that's tolerant enough to me. Everyone is allowed to keep their own opinion. I don't understand California...most of the people we know from there aren't extreme leftists, and even when it comes to voting they're usually around 60-65/35-40 which isn't all that terrible, yet, somehow they allow their local representatives to do some real weird stuff. Honestly we're not staying in VT forever and one of our top options is CA in a few years as the area of CA we're looking at has lots of pros for us...the one main con and the only reason we haven't made our mind yet is the liberal lunacy that goes on there.

 

Regarding my parents well...they always raised us and taught us to accept people for who they are, not look at their religion. However naturally, like most Jewish parents, they would have preferred for us to be married to a Jew and have Jewish kids because there's only 15 million of us. I think their issue with her and me at first(now they have accepted it) came in not only because of that but the added bonus of having to deal with so many medical issues, which I refuse to judge a person on, and the fact they knew we'd have to live far away from them(I think the fact she was previously married and has kids didn't help either, or that she's somewhat older than me but I always believed age was just a number). None of those things matter to me...when they brought up the religion aspect of it, I simply told them, you're the ones who raised us not to care about someone's religion, so maybe I took it further than you thought I would but to me it doesn't matter what religion she is...to which they had no good reply lol

Edited July 28, 2017 by OriZ

[IAMX 3,055]

1 hour ago, OriZ said:

Definitely agree with the part in bold. Also, I don't think you have to compromise or find middle ground so long as you're open to at least hearing and considering both sides and as long as you don't sever ties with people with opposing views, that's tolerant enough to me. Everyone is allowed to keep their own opinion. I don't understand California...most of the people we know from there aren't extreme leftists, and even when it comes to voting they're usually around 60-65/35-40 which isn't all that terrible, yet, somehow they allow their local representatives to do some real weird stuff. Honestly we're not staying in VT forever and one of our top options is CA in a few years as the area of CA we're looking at has lots of pros for us...the one main con and the only reason we haven't made our mind yet is the liberal lunacy that goes on there.

 

Regarding my parents well...they always raised us and taught us to accept people for who they are, not look at their religion. However naturally, like most Jewish parents, they would have preferred for us to be married to a Jew and have Jewish kids because there's only 15 million of us. I think their issue with her and me at first(now they have accepted it) came in not only because of that but the added bonus of having to deal with so many medical issues, which I refuse to judge a person on, and the fact they knew we'd have to live far away from them(I think the fact she was previously married and has kids didn't help either, or that she's somewhat older than me but I always believed age was just a number). None of those things matter to me...when they brought up the religion aspect of it, I simply told them, you're the ones who raised us not to care about someone's religion, so maybe I took it further than you thought I would but to me it doesn't matter what religion she is...to which they had no good reply lol

At least your parents are rational.

 

In regards to CA.. I guess the huge question is where in the state are you moving? 

 

The state politics isn't merely bad because of leftist lunacy regarding issues like illegal immigration. But I will address illegal immigration too:

 

- Illegal immigrants drain local governments of resources (education, emergency services, medical services, etc.) -- most illegals are poor and require government assistance, so they push aside those low income people who actually need it, as local governments also tend to prioritize poor Hispanics over everyone else and Hispanics are by far the highest demographic of illegals

- They hardly ever take care of their infrastructure (roads, dams, etc. are almost never repaired until there's a serious issue)

- Cost of living is extremely high, disposable income (income in your pocket after taxes and mandatory expenses) is low as hell

- Many parts of the state (that aren't LA metro, SF Bay Area, Sacramento, Fresno, Bakersfield, SD Metro, and so on) are at the behest of the metropolitan areas in regards to their statewide policies even though they often can't afford these costly policies

- Many parts of the state have regular drought and water issues (droughts are a very normal part of California's climate but exacerbated by all the water Socal wastes)

- Sewage costs tend to be outrageous

- The state can't budget worth a #######, meaning expect to be taxed to hell because the left only see tax increases as fiscal responsibility instead of cuts, and when they have no choice to make cuts the first area they always cut is education which is supposed to be the last

- Even government job benefits (such as CalPERS) are not stable

 

Even if I didn't move to Canada, I'd still have left California.. the awful disposable income is reason alone enough for me, the statewide incompetence (which has an affect on daily life if you have to drive around, especially with any hazards that result from the state not fixing things) and excessive catering to illegals is, for me, the straw that broke the camels back.

 

Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad place on the rare occasion to visit/vacation.. just a miserable place to live.

[OriZ 3,157]

11 minutes ago, IAMX said:

At least your parents are rational.

 

In regards to CA.. I guess the huge question is where in the state are you moving? 

 

The state politics isn't merely bad because of leftist lunacy regarding issues like illegal immigration. But I will address illegal immigration too:

 

- Illegal immigrants drain local governments of resources (education, emergency services, medical services, etc.) -- most illegals are poor and require government assistance, so they push aside those low income people who actually need it, as local governments also tend to prioritize poor Hispanics over everyone else and Hispanics are by far the highest demographic of illegals

- They hardly ever take care of their infrastructure (roads, dams, etc. are almost never repaired until there's a serious issue)

- Cost of living is extremely high, disposable income (income in your pocket after taxes and mandatory expenses) is low as hell

- Many parts of the state (that aren't LA metro, SF Bay Area, Sacramento, Fresno, Bakersfield, SD Metro, and so on) are at the behest of the metropolitan areas in regards to their statewide policies even though they often can't afford these costly policies

- Many parts of the state have regular drought and water issues (droughts are a very normal part of California's climate but exacerbated by all the water Socal wastes)

- Sewage costs tend to be outrageous

- The state can't budget worth a #######, meaning expect to be taxed to hell because the left only see tax increases as fiscal responsibility instead of cuts, and when they have no choice to make cuts the first area they always cut is education which is supposed to be the last

- Even government job benefits (such as CalPERS) are not stable

 

Even if I didn't move to Canada, I'd still have left California.. the awful disposable income is reason alone enough for me, the statewide incompetence (which has an affect on daily life if you have to drive around, especially with any hazards that result from the state not fixing things) and excessive catering to illegals is, for me, the straw that broke the camels back.

 

Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad place on the rare occasion to visit/vacation.. just a miserable place to live.

Well, we always joke that we "softened the blow" and made things easier for my brother since we were first, he married his non Jewish wife about 5 years after we got married so by then they were used to it and it went much smoother.

 

The things you mentioned I am aware of I just lump that under the "liberal lunacy" which I said was our one major con. We're looking at the Orinda area...very expensive area. Disposable income in VT sucks too so already used to that. We have other reasons that make it attractive for us we're just not sure yet if the pros outweigh the cons. Definitely have some thinking to do.

[IAMX 3,055]

9 minutes ago, OriZ said:

Well, we always joke that we "softened the blow" and made things easier for my brother since we were first, he married his non Jewish wife about 5 years after we got married so by then they were used to it and it went much smoother.

 

The things you mentioned I am aware of I just lump that under the "liberal lunacy" which I said was our one major con. We're looking at the Orinda area...very expensive area. Disposable income in VT sucks too so already used to that. We have other reasons that make it attractive for us we're just not sure yet if the pros outweigh the cons. Definitely have some thinking to do.

Even with how leftist states like Colorado and Texas have been/are becoming, the tax rates are a lot more reasonable (for now), the job growth is insane. Because of pipelines coming down the road, as well as the high potency for other investments, I'd also consider the Dakotas. They aren't terribly populated now but just wait. Their disposable income is vastly superior to just about every other state. 

 

Personally, I was considering the Eastern part of SD mainly for oil jobs (and other natural resources prevalent in the region, especially as you move westward), potential for successful small business, and the close proximity to cities like the Twin Cities (Minneapolis/St. Paul), Iowa City, etc. Found plenty of houses along the rivers for mid 100ks (several acres), plus dock for taking regular boating trips along the river.

Edited July 28, 2017 by IAMX

[OriZ 3,157]

Just now, IAMX said:

Even with how leftist states like Colorado and Texas have been/are becoming, the tax rates are a lot more reasonable (for now), the job growth is insane. Because of pipelines coming down the road, as well as the high potency for other investments, I'd also consider the Dakotas. They aren't terribly populated now but just wait. Their disposable income is vastly superior to just about every other state.

Unfortunately my wife can't handle cold places very well anymore which is one of the reasons we'll be leaving VT in a few years. Texas was never and will never be a state I want to live in(no offense anybody). Really for us it came down to WA, CA or HI...all liberal, but work out best for what we want. Job growth doesn't concern me as I never plan to work for anyone else again in my life and once we close up shop my wife will be retiring in her 40's which will be nice.

 

Speaking of which I also forgot to mention before about the health thing...I also told my parents that you could start out being with someone completely healthy and they end up with something what are you going to do leave them? The irony is now my mom ended up with some of the same issues my wife has, and my dad's still there. Life is a funny thing.

[IAMX 3,055]

10 minutes ago, OriZ said:

Unfortunately my wife can't handle cold places very well anymore which is one of the reasons we'll be leaving VT in a few years. Texas was never and will never be a state I want to live in(no offense anybody). Really for us it came down to WA, CA or HI...all liberal, but work out best for what we want. Job growth doesn't concern me as I never plan to work for anyone else again in my life and once we close up shop my wife will be retiring in her 40's which will be nice.

 

Speaking of which I also forgot to mention before about the health thing...I also told my parents that you could start out being with someone completely healthy and they end up with something what are you going to do leave them? The irony is now my mom ended up with some of the same issues my wife has, and my dad's still there. Life is a funny thing.

I see. I can't say I blame you.. states like FL and AZ get absolute tons of snowbirds. The latter I notice neither of us have mentioned. Arizona is a great state with plenty of upswing, very hot, a lot better on the joints -- very driveable to SoCal and LV for vacations. I forgot you mentioned something about health issues in a discussion some time ago.

 

I wouldn't ever move to Texas either. The extreme weather is a massive turnoff, plus the humidity is something where I'd be barricading myself indoors with an AC (or multiple AC's)running 24/7, which is not my kind of life. As it is many of my posts are kept short because I make most of them on the run (from my phone or tablet). Most of my life is spent using tech devices and running around places. That why I personally cannot ditch being around large cities or places where being outside isn't doable. Even with the extreme cold in Calgary it's also very dry air, so while the very dry conditions brings its own skin problems and such (the need to moisturize frequently), the effects aren't exacerbated like they are out east, and it might sound odd to people but humid regions cause dehydration much easier over dry climates.

 

As far as the Dakotas and air are concerned, I believe they have a slightly mild humidity effect from the lakes. States like Idaho and Montana are great for lack of humidity, depending on which part of the state (east of the rockies tends to get chinook effects which melts snow very rapidly due to rapid temperature spikes). I think for you climate is likely as big a deal as it was for me. I don't think WA is a great idea either, not only because of the horrible rainy climate (which turns to snow sometimes), but its so gloomy and depressing. Regardless, hope you find something that works for you and your family. When we were leaving Ontario I went absolutely nuts researching climate, disposable income, home prices, job opportunities, etc. throughout North America and engaging on countless forums getting first hand accounts of how things are from travel communities.

Edited July 28, 2017 by IAMX

[OriZ 3,157]

4 minutes ago, IAMX said:

I see. I can't say I blame you.. states like FL and AZ get absolute tons of snowbirds. The latter I notice neither of us have mentioned. Arizona is a great state with plenty of upswing, very hot, a lot better on the joints -- very driveable to SoCal and LV for vacations. I forgot you mentioned something about health issues in a discussion some time ago.

 

I wouldn't ever move to Texas either. The extreme weather is a massive turnoff, plus the humidity is something where I'd be barricading myself indoors with an AC (or multiple AC's)running 24/7, which is not my kind of life. As it is many of my posts are kept short because I make most of them on the run (from my phone or tablet). Most of my life is spent using tech devices and running around places. That why I personally cannot ditch being around large cities or places where being outside isn't doable. Even with the extreme cold in Calgary it's also very dry air, so while the very dry conditions brings its own skin problems and such (the need to moisturize frequently), the effects aren't exacerbated like they are out east, and it might sound odd to people but humid regions cause dehydration much easier over dry climates.

 

As far as the Dakotas and air are concerned, I believe they have a slightly mild humidity effect from the lakes. States like Idaho and Montana are great for lack of humidity, depending on which part of the state (east of the rockies tends to get chinook effects which melts snow very rapidly due to rapid temperature spikes). I think for you climate is likely as big a deal as it was for me. I don't think WA is a great idea either, not only because of the horrible rainy climate (which turns to snow sometimes), but its so gloomy and depressing. Regardless, hope you find something that works for you and your family. When we were leaving Ontario I went absolutely nuts researching climate, disposable income, home prices, job opportunities, etc. throughout North America and engaging on countless forums getting first hand accounts of how things are from travel communities.

Yup, I did alot of research before moving to VT(my wife didn't want to go back to Wi from Israel) and am already doing my research for the next one even though there's several years to go. WA would still be less cold than VT. The problem with us is we also don't want a place that's too hot either. Really anything more than mid 70's I find to be miserable no matter the humidity(you wouldn't think I spent most of my life in the ME). Even 70's sometimes if the sun is out is too hot for me...I like some clouds. The area of CA we're looking at seems perfect in the sense it's not usually too hot and not too cold. That's why HI would work as well. We'll see.

Edited July 28, 2017 by OriZ

[IAMX 3,055]

5 minutes ago, OriZ said:

Yup, I did alot of research before moving to VT(my wife didn't want to go back to Wi from Israel) and am already doing my research for the next one even though there's several years to go. WA would still be less cold than VT. The problem with us is we also don't want a place that's too hot either. Really anything more than mid 70's I find to be miserable no matter the humidity(you wouldn't think I spent most of my life in the ME). Even 70's sometimes if the sun is out is too hot for me...I like some clouds. The area of CA we're looking at seems perfect in the sense it's not usually too hot and not too cold. That's why HI would work as well. We'll see.

I also want to point out that if you're anticipating going to the water (or more specifically, an ocean), unless you enjoy freezing your ### off and being forced into a bodysuit, anywhere on the west coast north of Santa Monica, California, is a no-go. So much like in Alberta have to stick to inland lakes (and their often shoddy or non existent beaches) and specifically during the summer. 

 

Living in the Bay Area I used to find it funny to watch all the tourists at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk run into the water and then flee like Looney Tunes characters from the water when they realized how cold it was in spite of the hot weather (ocean currents -- WA, OR, and 75% of California get their currents from Alaska and the high Northern Pacific).

Edited July 28, 2017 by IAMX

[OriZ 3,157]

1 minute ago, IAMX said:

I also want to point out that if you're anticipating going to the water (or more specifically, an ocean), unless you enjoy freezing your ### off and being forced into a bodysuit, anywhere on the west coast north of Santa Monica, California, is a no-go. So much like in Alberta have to stick to inland lakes (and their often shoddy or non existent beaches) and specifically during the summer. 

 

Living in the Bay Area I used to find it funny to watch all the tourists at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk run into the water and then flee like Looney Tunes characters from the water when they realized how cold it was in spite of the hot weather (ocean currents -- WA, OR, and 75% of California get their currents from Alaska).

I definitely want to be closer to the ocean, that's part of it for me as in Israel we would go to the beach(mediterranean sea) many times every summer whereas here all we have is the lake. I miss my salt water. Cold doesn't scare me, because when I go diving in the lake here at 80-90ft depth it's usually pitch black and 40-45 degree water. I wear a 7mm wetsuit with a hat and gloves diving here but own a 5mm which should be enough to go in the water in the pacific. 

 

 

Edited July 28, 2017 by OriZ

[IAMX 3,055]

6 minutes ago, OriZ said:

I definitely want to be closer to the ocean, that's part of it for me as in Israel we would go to the beach(mediterranean sea) many times every summer whereas here all we have is the lake. I miss my salt water. Cold doesn't scare me, because when I go diving in the lake here at 80-90dt depth it's usually pitch black and 40-45 degree water. I wear a 7mm wetsuit with a hat and gloves diving here but own a 5mm which should be enough to go in the water in the pacific. 

 

 

tbh then you'll love it. If you move to CA, consider up north like Eureka, or well, virtually anywhere in the far north, North of Sacramento/Napa Valley.. not only because of socially open culture (which includes pot culture) but because of its proximity Oregon (iirc they are sales tax exempt). In fact for Albertans I believe shopping in WA is tax exempt if you show ID -- every state or province with no state/provincial sales tax gets ST tax exempt in WA. If VT is ST exempt I would consider keeping your old ID if you move to WA. Or if you are going to exchange DL, get a VT state ID (non-DL) from the DMV to keep.

 

What would concern me in WA is how everything is run from the Seattle metro area and their fetish for hiking the price of everything due to social justice wage policies.

Edited July 28, 2017 by IAMX

[OriZ 3,157]

5 minutes ago, IAMX said:

tbh then you'll love it. If you move to CA, consider up north like Eureka, or well, virtually anywhere in the far north, North of Sacramento/Napa Valley.. not only because of socially open culture (which includes pot culture) but because of its proximity Oregon (iirc they are sales tax exempt). In fact for Albertans I believe shopping in WA is tax exempt if you show ID -- every state or province with no state/provincial sales tax gets ST tax exempt in WA. If VT is ST exempt I would consider keeping your old ID if you move to WA. Or if you are going to exchange DL, get a VT state ID (non-DL) from the DMV to keep.

 

What would concern me in WA is how everything is run from the Seattle metro area and their fetish for hiking the price of everything due to social justice wage policies.

Well, unfortunately Orinda is not as far up north as we'd like it to be for obvious reasons, but also works alot better for us in many other ways. (It's actually eerily close to Berkley/San Fran). VT state sales tax is 6% and many places have an additional local option 1% tax. 

[IAMX 3,055]

2 minutes ago, OriZ said:

Well, unfortunately Orinda is not as far up north as we'd like it to be for obvious reasons, but also works alot better for us in many other ways. (It's actually eerily close to Berkley/San Fran). VT state sales tax is 6% and many places have an additional local option 1% tax. 

I like the crime rates in that city -- it's very non-East Bay-like, that's for sure. I wonder how home prices are.

[OriZ 3,157]

Just now, IAMX said:

I like the crime rates in that city -- it's very non-East Bay-like, that's for sure. I wonder how home prices are.

Expensive. lol. That's why I said the Orinda area...is it actually going to be right in that city? Not sure yet.

[IAMX 3,055]

8 minutes ago, OriZ said:

Expensive. lol. That's why I said the Orinda area...is it actually going to be right in that city? Not sure yet.

Figured as much. To live in any region near the East Bay with those kind of crime rates tends to require 1 million+.

 

Problem is, most of the high paying jobs are on the other side of the Bay.. over the Bay Bridge into the Peninsula.  

 

If you want moderate temps near the ocean, I wonder how Half Moon Bay prices are. The climate there is so ridiculously consistent, the temps hardly ever change regardless of season.

 

Of course, when any tsunami ever hits the west coast (a question of when rather than if), I imagine places like HMB go under first.

Edited July 28, 2017 by IAMX