Haven't told our parents about marriage. Will we get denied?

[venom123 32]

2 minutes ago, Coco8 said:

So you lied to her and made her sign the form i-864? That sounds fraudulent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for the kind reply.

 

I didn't lie to her, I told her they were immigration forms and I told her the implications of them. I told her I need a sponsor for my I-485, I-130 forms. That is 100% truthful.

Edited July 9, 2017 by venom123

[Coco8 1,042]

16 minutes ago, venom123 said:

They do not know all the times I'm in the US. I'm not very close with my parents and I don't speak to them very often. We'll tell her parents in a few months then, once I get my EAD and have a job.

Even if you don't talk to your parents, if they are in the US, couldn't you have gotten a green card through them and done all this in a more mature way? If I were your wife's parents, I'd be more upset that you dropped college rather than you finding a job. Someone with no studies is worse to me.

 

Are you actually British or do you just study in the US? If you are not a British national, expect even more scrutiny in your case. 

 

 

 

[Unidentified 2,930]

7 minutes ago, venom123 said:

Well we don't have any bills since we live with her parents. She has an insurance plan for her car, has a lease on her car and that's about it.

 

We want to live with her parents for 2-3 years and save up so that we can get a house with a mortgage.

 

I could drop my cell plan and join hers with her father. Do you think that'll help?

 

Also, could get the joint bank account with a joint savings, but separate checking. I previously mentioned she spends a lot of money on clothes and unnecessities, so it'd be better for us to have separate checkings but to share a savings. Would that help? Or would it do more harm than good by having separate checkings? 

 Not evidence. That is what she has, not what you have together. 

[Coco8 1,042]

Just now, venom123 said:

Thanks for the kind reply.

 

I didn't lie to her, I told her they were immigration forms and I told her the implications of them. That is 100% truthful.

Actually no, that is not truthful. They are forms to sponsor a green card through marriage. You lied.

[venom123 32]

2 minutes ago, Coco8 said:

Even if you don't talk to your parents, if they are in the US, couldn't you have gotten a green card through them and done all this in a more mature way? If I were your wife's parents, I'd be more upset that you dropped college rather than you finding a job. Someone with no studies is worse to me.

 

Are you actually British or do you just study in the US? If you are not a British national, expect even more scrutiny in your case. 

 

 

 

Im a british citizen. Born and bred in the UK.

 

I'm not dropping out of college. My college is in the UK and I will be taking 1 year out off college to sort out my GC. I am able to finish 1 more year of my degree in the US by studying at home and going for exams in the UK during summer.

1 minute ago, Unidentified said:

 Not evidence. That is what she has, not what you have together. 

Yes, but that was me implying, "should i add my name onto her insurance plan and lease?"

 

 

EDITED - Grammar mistakes

Edited July 9, 2017 by venom123

[Unidentified 2,930]

1 minute ago, venom123 said:

Im a british citizen. Born and bred in the UK.

 

I'm not dropping out of college. My college is in the UK and I might be taking 1 year out to sort this out. I am able to finish 1 more degree of my college in the US by studying at home and going for exams in the summer.

Yes, but that was me implying, "should i add my name onto her insurance plan and lease?"

Yes both your names should be on everything. And stop lying to her parents.

[venom123 32]

1 minute ago, Unidentified said:

Yes both your names should be on everything. And stop lying to her parents.

Everyone is different. Every marriage is different. We (mainly my wife) is not ready to tell her parents. I am respecting that and not telling her parents. 

 

I am going to try and reason with her so that we can tell her parents in a few months, after I get my EAD and a job.

Edited July 9, 2017 by venom123

[Unidentified 2,930]

2 minutes ago, venom123 said:

Everyone is different. Every marriage is different. We (mainly my wife) is not ready to tell her parents. I am respecting that and not telling her parents. 

 

I am going to try and reason with her so that we can tell her parents in a few months, after I get my EAD and a job.

Just grow up and tell them. Your parents are responsible for you even if you divorce. You owe them the truth. This is not about the two of you anymore. It's about the two of you plus your sponsors. If it weren't for them I wouldn't have told you to tell the parents, there wouldn't have been a need. They're your sponsors, show them some respect and tell them the truth. Tell your wife it's time to put her big girl pants on and do what needs to be done.

[Coco8 1,042]

5 minutes ago, venom123 said:

I'm not dropping out of college. My college is in the UK and I will be taking 1 year out off college to sort out my GC. I am able to finish 1 more year of my degree in the US by studying at home and going for exams in the UK during summer.

Yes, but that was me implying, "should i add my name onto her insurance plan and lease?"

 

 

The green card does not allow you to spend so much time in the UK anyway. That is why I said you probably will need to drop out. You should do research on that matter. You can only leave for 6 months. If you need to leave longer you need to ask for reentry permit, but it will be 1 or 2 years at the most. You won't be able to spend abroad long enough to finish.

 

 

 

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Some members are stating that they had no problems with AOS with barely any evidence and parents not knowing either.
Well great for them but that is not the norm, not even for all UK and Canada. While people from these countries usually
fly through there could be other flags that will cause USCIS to want to take a closer look.

1. Do you all know if the OP was born in the UK or immigrated there ? No. That in itself will be scrutinized IF he has come from another country,

especially MENA. So OP, were you born in the UK ? If yes, fine, if not then more scrutiny.

2. OP you mentioned your education was in the biomedical field. That will warrant an extra security check called Mantis.

Do your research. http://www.pengweber.com/answers_for/VisaProcessing/TALFieldsList.html

3. Home visits are never announced, that would be useless, the element of surprise is what helps weed out sham marriages not allowing

sham couples the time to "set the stage" as if they were genuine.

4. Her being on her father's insurance is likely a problem as stated.

5. Telling only one set of parents is 50% better, not 100%.

6. You do need a joint bank account and don't let anyone tell you differently. Period. You don't need as much as for ROC but you do need
to show a co mingled habitation and financial mingled married life to some extend. Not married appearing living as single. Doesn't matter who think what

about how couples have the freedom to handle their finances as they see fit, what matters is how USCIS operates and what they want to see.
Doesn't matter whose grandma and grandpa lived happily together that way. There is criteria you will be judged by, adhere to it or be
free Willy and take your chances.
Do what you want to after ROC but until then you better get serious about generating co mingled evidence since conception of marriage,
not 5 minutes before the interview months from now.
If I had a penny for every post in AOS and ROC of people complaining they were told they don't have enough co mingled evidence.......
Skipping down the yellow brick road in complete ignorant bliss and naive thinking, anyone who thinks just because they flew through without
a problem should not project this easy peasy on other couples, it is doing them a disservice.

Our visa/AOS journey was and still is hell and I am not projecting the worst scenario for you just because it is my own experience, I am telling you
it it somewhere in between those who flew through and my own journey. It is not that easy and it is not that tough but at least prepare

for the potential hurdles and hope for the best.
7.Sleeping in 2 different beds for a home visit will not fly. Guaranteed.

8. Not having more than photos and vacation receipts is a highly likely RFE at the interview.
What do you mean by joint account but separate accounts ? Either the account is joint or not.
They want to see co mingled financing, pooling money together and who spends how much on what !
You said she spends too much and that is exactly how they would gauge a problem, one spending out the wazoo and causing
marriage problems. Be prepared to explain that your wife spends all your money so you won't allow her to share your account.
That will go over well. Not. In real life yes, whatever works BUT NOT FOR USCIS PURPOSES. Call it unfair all you want, it is what it is.
When they came banging on our door like the house was on fire one early morning they wanted to take photos of joint bills, accounts
laying around our kitchen table, they went into the bedroom checking the closet, the unmade bed we just stumbled out of......
AGAIN, your country is easy, you may get approved easily, you likely will not have a home visit but we thought that too.
This "don't worry advice" is not helping you, you need to prepare better.

 

Check this ROC list and use what you have for AOS. You can not use what you do not have but you sure can try and
discipline yourselves to be able to manage a joint account with pooled income and outgoing expenses and you will learn trust
and respect for one another and how to communicate about finances, all helpful in life.
You can title a car in both names, or make a joint loan, make wills, power of attorney, joint gym cards,
you may have more already than you think you have. They will not expect too much from a newly married couple for AOS
however what you mentioned you do have is not enough and your smiles at the interview telling them you love each other
will not get you an approval.
We, who are the veterans in this journey are trying to help you and not give you a hard time like suggested by some.


Examples of documents showing a bona fide relationship (Submit COPIES only. Do not send originals):

1. A deed, showing co-ownership of your property or a lease agreement with both of your names on the lease. 2. Utility bills, credit card bills, and other types of bills which have both of your names on them. Since many utilities will only put a bill in one person's name, some bills in one name and other bills at the same address but in the other spouse's name serve the same purpose: showing your financial & social lives intermingled. 3. Copies of actual credit cards, health insurance cards, or other "joint" cards that you have together, showing same account number. 4. Car, health, or life insurance that has both of your names on the policy or the other spouse listed as the beneficiary. 5. 401K or other retirement plan with spouse listed as beneficiary (right to survivorship is the technical term) 6. Bank or stock accounts with both of your names on them. 7. A copy of your joint federal and state tax returns (including W-2's and other applicable Schedules and attachments). Sending an official tax transcript from the IRS (for Federal) is beneficial and often preferred as it reflects what was actually filed. 8. A car title or other titles to property showing joint ownership with your spouse. 9. Birth certificate of any children that have been born to your marriage. 10. Documentation of any vacations that you have taken, including flight itineraries, hotel bills, pictures of you together on vacation. 11. Other family pictures of you together. 12. Documentary proof showing evidence of your children together (Copy of Birth Certificate, photos, etc) 13. Copies of Christmas cards and other holiday cards addressed to you both

 

 

Edited July 9, 2017 by Ebunoluwa
forgot to add list.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

While I was typing my long reply I was not aware you commented you were born there, it was one of my questions.

[Crazy Cat 41,865]

7 minutes ago, Ebunoluwa said:

Some members are stating that they had no problems with AOS with barely any evidence and parents not knowing either.
Well great for them but that is not the norm, not even for all UK and Canada. While people from these countries usually
fly through there could be other flags that will cause USCIS to want to take a closer look.

1. Do you all know if the OP was born in the UK or immigrated there ? No. That in itself will be scrutinized IF he has come from another country,

especially MENA. So OP, were you born in the UK ? If yes, fine, if not then more scrutiny.

2. OP you mentioned your education was in the biomedical field. That will warrant an extra security check called Mantis.

Do your research. http://www.pengweber.com/answers_for/VisaProcessing/TALFieldsList.html

3. Home visits are never announced, that would be useless, the element of surprise is what helps weed out sham marriages not allowing

sham couples the time to "set the stage" as if they were genuine.

4. Her being on her father's insurance is likely a problem as stated.

5. Telling only one set of parents is 50% better, not 100%.

6. You do need a joint bank account and don't let anyone tell you differently. Period. You don't need as much as for ROC but you do need
to show a co mingled habitation and financial mingled married life to some extend. Not married appearing living as single. Doesn't matter who think what

about how couples have the freedom to handle their finances as they see fit, what matters is how USCIS operates and what they want to see.
Doesn't matter whose grandma and grandpa lived happily together that way. There is criteria you will be judged by, adhere to it or be
free Willy and take your chances.
Do what you want to after ROC but until then you better get serious about generating co mingled evidence since conception of marriage,
not 5 minutes before the interview months from now.
If I had a penny for every post in AOS and ROC of people complaining they were told they don't have enough co mingled evidence.......
Skipping down the yellow brick road in complete ignorant bliss and naive thinking, anyone who thinks just because they flew through without
a problem should not project this easy peasy on other couples, it is doing them a disservice.

Our visa/AOS journey was and still is hell and I am not projecting the worst scenario for you just because it is my own experience, I am telling you
it it somewhere in between those who flew through and my own journey. It is not that easy and it is not that tough but at least prepare

for the potential hurdles and hope for the best.
7.Sleeping in 2 different beds for a home visit will not fly. Guaranteed.

8. Not having more than photos and vacation receipts is a highly likely RFE at the interview.
What do you mean by joint account but separate accounts ? Either the account is joint or not.
They want to see co mingled financing, pooling money together and who spends how much on what !
You said she spends too much and that is exactly how they would gauge a problem, one spending out the wazoo and causing
marriage problems. Be prepared to explain that your wife spends all your money so you won't allow her to share your account.
That will go over well. Not. In real life yes, whatever works BUT NOT FOR USCIS PURPOSES. Call it unfair all you want, it is what it is.
When they came banging on our door like the house was on fire one early morning they wanted to take photos of joint bills, accounts
laying around our kitchen table, they went into the bedroom checking the closet, the unmade bed we just stumbled out of......
AGAIN, your country is easy, you may get approved easily, you likely will not have a home visit but we thought that too.
This "don't worry advice" is not helping you, you need to prepare better.

 

Check this ROC list and use what you have for AOS. You can not use what you do not have but you sure can try and
discipline yourselves to be able to manage a joint account with pooled income and outgoing expenses and you will learn trust
and respect for one another and how to communicate about finances, all helpful in life.
You can title a car in both names, or make a joint loan, make wills, power of attorney, joint gym cards,
you may have more already than you think you have. They will not expect too much from a newly married couple for AOS
however what you mentioned you do have is not enough and your smiles at the interview telling them you love each other
will not get you an approval.
We, who are the veterans in this journey are trying to help you and not give you a hard time like suggested by some.

Well said!!  The OP would be wise to heed this one........

[caliliving 606]

9 minutes ago, Ebunoluwa said:

Some members are stating that they had no problems with AOS with barely any evidence and parents not knowing either.
Well great for them but that is not the norm, not even for all UK and Canada. While people from these countries usually
fly through there could be other flags that will cause USCIS to want to take a closer look.

1. Do you all know if the OP was born in the UK or immigrated there ? No. That in itself will be scrutinized IF he has come from another country,

especially MENA. So OP, were you born in the UK ? If yes, fine, if not then more scrutiny.

2. OP you mentioned your education was in the biomedical field. That will warrant an extra security check called Mantis.

Do your research. http://www.pengweber.com/answers_for/VisaProcessing/TALFieldsList.html

3. Home visits are never announced, that would be useless, the element of surprise is what helps weed out sham marriages not allowing

sham couples the time to "set the stage" as if they were genuine.

4. Her being on her father's insurance is likely a problem as stated.

5. Telling only one set of parents is 50% better, not 100%.

6. You do need a joint bank account and don't let anyone tell you differently. Period. You don't need as much as for ROC but you do need
to show a co mingled habitation and financial mingled married life to some extend. Not married appearing living as single. Doesn't matter who think what

about how couples have the freedom to handle their finances as they see fit, what matters is how USCIS operates and what they want to see.
Doesn't matter whose grandma and grandpa lived happily together that way. There is criteria you will be judged by, adhere to it or be
free Willy and take your chances.
Do what you want to after ROC but until then you better get serious about generating co mingled evidence since conception of marriage,
not 5 minutes before the interview months from now.
If I had a penny for every post in AOS and ROC of people complaining they were told they don't have enough co mingled evidence.......
Skipping down the yellow brick road in complete ignorant bliss and naive thinking, anyone who thinks just because they flew through without
a problem should not project this easy peasy on other couples, it is doing them a disservice.

Our visa/AOS journey was and still is hell and I am not projecting the worst scenario for you just because it is my own experience, I am telling you
it it somewhere in between those who flew through and my own journey. It is not that easy and it is not that tough but at least prepare

for the potential hurdles and hope for the best.
7.Sleeping in 2 different beds for a home visit will not fly. Guaranteed.

8. Not having more than photos and vacation receipts is a highly likely RFE at the interview.
What do you mean by joint account but separate accounts ? Either the account is joint or not.
They want to see co mingled financing, pooling money together and who spends how much on what !
You said she spends too much and that is exactly how they would gauge a problem, one spending out the wazoo and causing
marriage problems. Be prepared to explain that your wife spends all your money so you won't allow her to share your account.
That will go over well. Not. In real life yes, whatever works BUT NOT FOR USCIS PURPOSES. Call it unfair all you want, it is what it is.
When they came banging on our door like the house was on fire one early morning they wanted to take photos of joint bills, accounts
laying around our kitchen table, they went into the bedroom checking the closet, the unmade bed we just stumbled out of......
AGAIN, your country is easy, you may get approved easily, you likely will not have a home visit but we thought that too.
This "don't worry advice" is not helping you, you need to prepare better.

 

Check this ROC list and use what you have for AOS. You can not use what you do not have but you sure can try and
discipline yourselves to be able to manage a joint account with pooled income and outgoing expenses and you will learn trust
and respect for one another and how to communicate about finances, all helpful in life.
You can title a car in both names, or make a joint loan, make wills, power of attorney, joint gym cards,
you may have more already than you think you have. They will not expect too much from a newly married couple for AOS
however what you mentioned you do have is not enough and your smiles at the interview telling them you love each other
will not get you an approval.
We, who are the veterans in this journey are trying to help you and not give you a hard time like suggested by some.


Examples of documents showing a bona fide relationship (Submit COPIES only. Do not send originals):

1. A deed, showing co-ownership of your property or a lease agreement with both of your names on the lease. 2. Utility bills, credit card bills, and other types of bills which have both of your names on them. Since many utilities will only put a bill in one person's name, some bills in one name and other bills at the same address but in the other spouse's name serve the same purpose: showing your financial & social lives intermingled. 3. Copies of actual credit cards, health insurance cards, or other "joint" cards that you have together, showing same account number. 4. Car, health, or life insurance that has both of your names on the policy or the other spouse listed as the beneficiary. 5. 401K or other retirement plan with spouse listed as beneficiary (right to survivorship is the technical term) 6. Bank or stock accounts with both of your names on them. 7. A copy of your joint federal and state tax returns (including W-2's and other applicable Schedules and attachments). Sending an official tax transcript from the IRS (for Federal) is beneficial and often preferred as it reflects what was actually filed. 8. A car title or other titles to property showing joint ownership with your spouse. 9. Birth certificate of any children that have been born to your marriage. 10. Documentation of any vacations that you have taken, including flight itineraries, hotel bills, pictures of you together on vacation. 11. Other family pictures of you together. 12. Documentary proof showing evidence of your children together (Copy of Birth Certificate, photos, etc) 13. Copies of Christmas cards and other holiday cards addressed to you both

 

 

I never had a joint bank account, it isn't necessary but u need other joint proof. Sorry not everyone wants to co mingle finances especially since I make more then my husband. 

You are from a more heavily scrutinized country. I know lots of people that didn't tell their parents they got married and wasn't a huge deal. 

The OP need a to get some things joint...phone and diverse would help and taxes. Other then that, it is what it is. U have lots of photos and travels together u should be fine. 

[Crazy Cat 41,865]

1 minute ago, caliliving said:

I never had a joint bank account, it isn't necessary but u need other joint proof. Sorry not everyone wants to co mingle finances especially since I make more then my husband. 

You are from a more heavily scrutinized country. I know lots of people that didn't tell their parents they got married and wasn't a huge deal. 

The OP need a to get some things joint...phone and diverse would help and taxes. Other then that, it is what it is. U have lots of photos and travels together u should be fine. 

I think you are leading him down a path to RFEs and a home visit....and in his case, a home visit would likely be disastrous.

Edited July 9, 2017 by missileman

[venom123 32]

22 minutes ago, Ebunoluwa said:

While I was typing my long reply I was not aware you commented you were born there, it was one of my questions.

First off, thank you so much for helpful reply, instead of personally attacking and insulting me like many other members. My main question is with point 6.

 

2. Yes it's biomedical science, but this is very different to biomedical engineering that was listed. Biomedical science is very similar to medicine.

3. Okay thanks, I noticed your home visit was a long time after your initial application. I want to tell her parents within the next 4 months - after I get my EAD with a part time job.

4. Her fathers health insurance is all paid for by his work. Would they be able to see that she's married and notify him?

5. I will tell my parents closer to the interview so that if an officer asks me if our parents know during the interview, I can answer yes.

6. The joint account part is very difficult. Is there a place me and my wife can have some separate finances? We already have our own bank account. If we open a joint account can keep some finances in our personal bank accounts? Or we could open a joint bank account and have 3 checking  accounts within it. 1 for me(purchasing things from amazon and other things I want), 1 for her (her insurance payments, car lease payments, her clothes/other items she buys), 1 we share (for groceries, gas, eating out together, vacations) 

and then 1 savings account (we will put 30% of our earnings each month into this account to save up for a house)

Would this be ok?

7. We sleep in different beds because when I first came to visit her, obviously we didnt want to sleep in the same bed from day 1 since we just met in person. However, we really started liking it and we enjoy sleeping in separate beds! I know this sounds incredibly immature, but she has a ton of stuffed animals on her bed and there isn't enough space for me on it anyway. She loves her stuffed animals and they're kind of like a coping mechanism for her when she's stressed. She treats them like her children. I know that sounds weird, but I'm trying to be 100% truthful! 

8. We have photos with the family, vacation receipts, receipts of gifts i bought for her, receipt and picture of the flowers i got her for valentines day, receipts for the birthday and valentines day card I got her.

I am going to get a large cake for our 1 year anniversary together as a couple, which will be in late july. I will put a picture of us on the cake and take a picture of it for USCIS. I'm going to apply for a state drivers licence when i get my SSN and register it to her moms address like hers. Other than that, I dont know what other evidence I could provide.