Haven't told our parents about marriage. Will we get denied?

[Georgia16 2,858]

8 minutes ago, caliliving said:

Meh I married my husband and didn't tell my parents for 8 months bc I thought they would be mad...of cour Dr they were more mad we didn't tell them lmao. Just relax and I'm sure u will be fine but it will make the interview easier if you tell them. By the time i applied my husband met my family and we met his. They asked to see pictures at the interview ecr...but I can see why ur scared to tell them. But it will make interview easier

Not telling the parents won't be the issue but I don't think he will be fine unless he understands how important it is to get evidence for bona fide marriage for AOS interview and ROC and so on (when he says they can file taxes single)

[caliliving 606]

The good things the UK is not high fraud so I don't see u have too many problems at the interview...just bring pictures with friends and tell the IO the truth... ur parents thing ur too young tobmarryband were against it so u didn't tell them...i know lots of same sex couples that don't tell their parents. My friend got married andbdidjt tell anyone..justbrememver u won't be able to hide thusbfor 2yrsm..ppl aren't dumb They will ask why ur notncominf back to the UK and what visa ur on. I assume ur parents know u aren't on a visa in the USA lol 

[HackyMoto 13]

12 hours ago, venom123 said:

Me and my wife got married and didn't tell either of our families. I'm 24 and she just turned 21. We didn't want to tell our families because we've known each other for 11 months, we're a bit young to get married and didn't think our families would approve so early. Also, we live with her father/mother (they're divorced so we rotate between houses) and don't want to jeopardise our living situation if they don't approve! We told a couple friends about it and that's it.

 

Do you think immigration will see this as a major red flag and deny me?

 

Thank you

We got married many years ago. Did a runner from Lousiana to Belize and got married on the beach with two hotel staff as witnesses. First time my mum met my wife was after we got married and after we just turned up at her door. The first time my dad met my wife was when my folks came to the States on vacation and they just turned at our door. 

 

It's your life, we decided to do what we did because we had our reasons. Our parents got over it the first time they met us as husband and wife but at least we told them hahaha.

 

Would I recommend it to anyone? That's up to you to decide when to tell them but we wouldn't change a thing. 

 

Edited: sometimes wonder if English is my first language. 

Edited July 8, 2017 by HackyMoto

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Your have the burden of proof to convince the IO that you are both a genuine married couple.
USCIS does not have to understand your personal choices.
They are there to seek out sham marriages that are for immigration benefits, not to accept your personal choices.
Think about what total stranger interviewing you is supposed to go by when you have scarce evidence and a fraud indicator of
parents/family/ not knowing you are married.
Our AOS has been pending for over 2 years. Be prepared to file taxes as married in April 2018.
We had a home visit and if that happens to you than good luck is all I can say.
You have to bear the consequences of your choices you make so yes, it is personal but USCIS doesn't give a rat's behind
about your personal preferences. They want good quality evidence that you are not a sham marriage.
You need a co mingled life, a co mingled financial life, you have no mortgage so you need a lease statement from your parents,
joint bank accounts, joint health insurance, joint this and joint that, a totally mingled married life,
look up the ROC guide list for items you could use.
You may be asked for photos of your wedding (our IO wanted photos )and the question would come up where are the parents,

where is the rest of the family....then when you say well, we did not want to tell them and they don't know we are married 

because we weren't ready blah blah then you will run into scrutiny.
As I said the parents will feel betrayed by being totally left in the dark and you are setting yourself up for trouble.
I hear what you are saying and read your reasons and I still stand on what I said  from being on this board for
many years that you need to come clean and face your parents like adults, take them to dinner, explain why you did keep
it from them and that perhaps you will have another big celebration to include them in the future.
Then you don't have to worry about the IO nitpicking this issue to death and put your stay in jeopardy and your studies

should they come knocking at your door some day because they may suspect fraud.  Why risk that ?!
Being mature and responsible means owning your choices. You married. Own it.
What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.
Whatever you decide I wish you both the best.



 

Edited July 8, 2017 by Ebunoluwa

[Sidney and Dennis 40]

13 hours ago, venom123 said:

Me and my wife got married and didn't tell either of our families. I'm 24 and she just turned 21. We didn't want to tell our families because we've known each other for 11 months, we're a bit young to get married and didn't think our families would approve so early. Also, we live with her father/mother (they're divorced so we rotate between houses) and don't want to jeopardise our living situation if they don't approve! We told a couple friends about it and that's it.

 

Do you think immigration will see this as a major red flag and deny me?

 

Thank you

That's ur business whether or not u want to tell ur family but immigration might see a red flag as ur young with no financial ties together like the taxes or a lease or anything like that. Do you make a decent amount of money to support each other because if not u might need a co sponsor which ur family would be perfect to do but that would mean u have to tell them... make sure u have NOTORIZED letters from friends saying how much u guys love each other etc and take pictures with family and friends 

[Coco8 1,042]

2 hours ago, caliliving said:

You probably didn't think this thru bc u need to LIVE in the USA after a green card or u losee it and to go to a USA medical school it's very expensive and u will have to start the 4 years over again. 

 

Actually starting in the US is worse because he doesn't have college. In the US medical school is 4-year college premed+ postgraduate medical school.

 

In the UK, medical school is 5-6 years right after high school. He has only completed 2! He has years to go and I don't see the point of getting a GC since he will be unable to leave the US for the UK.

 

If he has no college he cannot even apply for medical school in the US. 

Edited July 8, 2017 by Coco8

[caliliving 606]

28 minutes ago, Coco8 said:

 

Actually starting in the US is worse because he doesn't have college. In the US medical school is 4-year college premed+ postgraduate medical school.

 

In the UK, medical school is 5-6 years right after high school. He has only completed 2! He has years to go and I don't see the point of getting a GC since he will be unable to leave the US for the UK.

 

If he has no college he cannot even apply for medical school in the US. 

Yeah that's  what I figured...nothing transferred over...he really put himself in a not great situation. U can't just get a green card and go finish up school in the UK. It doesn't work that way. Have you at least spoken to your parents about this? 

 

I think the interview is the least if your problems. You are young, no education and np schooling in the USA. Do you have the thousands it costs to go to school here? How will u support your wife? Does she work? You guys are living with her family and therefore can't afford rent. I really think you did not think this thru.

Edited July 8, 2017 by caliliving

[Crazy Cat 41,845]

3 hours ago, venom123 said:

It's not law to file as a married couple. This is optional and we can still file as single.

 

Also, taxes aren't due until April 17th 2018 so this won't effect us as we got married after taxes were due this year.

 

 

Incorrect!!!!  If you are married, you MUST file as either MFJ or MFS.

[Crazy Cat 41,845]

One more thing to the OP- You might think you can hide your marriage from your parents....but if you don't PROVE you have co-mingled, SOLID evidence (finances, living arrangements, wills, health proxy paperwork, etc.) of a REAL marriage, you will likely face a very difficult AOS.

[mcdull 474]

Go ahead.

 

If people don't do stupid things at this age, when do you expect them to do it?

 

You are to prove your marriage is bona fide.

 

I reckoned many same-sex couples got approved without parents' acknowledgement of blessing either.

 

 

 

 

[JFH 12,190]

OP, immigration is a grown-up matter and you need to deal with it like a grown-up. Scared to tell your in-laws that you're married? What's the matter with you? You do realize that should you complete your studies and become a doctor you are going to have far more difficult conversations with people than that. You are going to have to tell

someone their child has died, or that they have terminal cancer. I'm tempted to say medicine isn't the right path for you. I certainly wouldn't want someone who is scared of his in-laws and frightened that they might throw him out of the house handling my health concerns. 

 

And you CAN be apart. All this "we love each other too much". I absolutely promise you, without a word of a lie, that I do not love my husband any less then you love your wife. I'll wager that I love him more because I certainly would never put him into a situation that would cause his family to be upset with him. Yet we coped being apart. We survived. I managed to get myself back onto a plane each time. You have far more time off university than I ever had off work in the U.K. so you could spend plenty of time together and complete your studies. Now you're going to be jobless for a year or so, camping out with various people, and constantly looking over your shoulder. And for what? It might seem very romantic and exciting now but when you've grown up a bit you'll regret doing it this way. 

 

Your AOS is going to be very difficult if your wife isn't even receiving mail in her married name. I'm not sure which state you're in but most keep marriage records online. A quick search of my name on our state's website and there's my marriage certificate and license for all to see. You can't hide much in this day and age.

[caliliving 606]

3 minutes ago, JFH said:

OP, immigration is a grown-up matter and you need to deal with it like a grown-up. Scared to tell your in-laws that you're married? What's the matter with you? You do realize that should you complete your studies and become a doctor you are going to have far more difficult conversations with people than that. You are going to have to tell

someone their child has died, or that they have terminal cancer. I'm tempted to say medicine isn't the right path for you. I certainly wouldn't want someone who is scared of his in-laws and frightened that they might throw him out of the house handling my health concerns. 

 

And you CAN be apart. All this "we love each other too much". I absolutely promise you, without a word of a lie, that I do not love my husband any less then you love your wife. I'll wager that I love him more because I certainly would never put him into a situation that would cause his family to be upset with him. Yet we coped being apart. We survived. I managed to get myself back onto a plane each time. You have far more time off university than I ever had off work in the U.K. so you could spend plenty of time together and complete your studies. Now you're going to be jobless for a year or so, camping out with various people, and constantly looking over your shoulder. And for what? It might seem very romantic and exciting now but when you've grown up a bit you'll regret doing it this way. 

 

Your AOS is going to be very difficult if your wife isn't even receiving mail in her married name. I'm not sure which state you're in but most keep marriage records online. A quick search of my name on our state's website and there's my marriage certificate and license for all to see. You can't hide much in this day and age.

I agree w u on most points but i never changed my name and to this day I keep my birth last name. 

Honestly I don't think the interview will be that tough. But i don't think his life in America will be unicorns and rainbows. His whole life and school is on hold for 2 years and then what? He obviously never thought this thru. 

[Wuozopo 4,293]

I have a question. Does the officer typically say "do your parents know about your marriage?" They can present photos with the parents so it looks like a big happy family that accepts him. 

 

Another question. Do you sleep apart? I was thinking if the parents are okay with you shacking up under their roof, surely they would be more comfortable that you committed to a marriage. Don't answer if I'm being too cheeky. 🇬🇧

[JFH 12,190]

1 hour ago, caliliving said:

I agree w u on most points but i never changed my name and to this day I keep my birth last name. 

Honestly I don't think the interview will be that tough. But i don't think his life in America will be unicorns and rainbows. His whole life and school is on hold for 2 years and then what? He obviously never thought this thru. 

You have kept your name through choice, not because you're too scared that people might find out you are married. Big difference.

[JFH 12,190]

49 minutes ago, Wuozopo said:

 

 

Another question. Do you sleep apart? I was thinking if the parents are okay with you shacking up under their roof, surely they would be more comfortable that you committed to a marriage. Don't answer if I'm being too cheeky. 🇬🇧

That was my thought too. I know that my parents are of the generation where they would prefer us to be married and sharing a bed than unmarried and sharing a bed.