dna Unconfirmed Son of U.S. citizen

[evoria 19]

1 minute ago, EmilyW said:

@evoria, I have no advice other than that which is listed above, but I just wanted to say that I think you're very kind hearted in wanting to do the best by this baby.  You're good people.  We need more of those.

Thank you Emily.

[NDB052714 122]

5 minutes ago, EmilyW said:

@evoria, I have no advice other than that which is listed above, but I just wanted to say that I think you're very kind hearted in wanting to do the best by this baby.  You're good people.  We need more of those.

I agree EmilyW 100%! 

[Unlockable 7,315]

8 minutes ago, evoria said:

 

You guys are sooo right, if its not my husbands child and my sister in law is no long available to take care of him I will let him wonder the streets till he finds his dad.  Are y'all missing the point.  THE MOTHER IS GONE in a small country with millions of people.  If she did not know who the father was how am I supposed to know.  Thank everyone.  DNA test was the answer I was looking for, NOT JUDGEMENT. 

Hey, I'm pulling for you. I hope the child is your husband's. It will be a blessing.

 

No judgement here. When you asked the question "why should I look for the father for her", I simply responded with a valid reason. The question alone made it seem like you didn't even want to try. My point is that an unknown biological fathers deserve a chance and to be, at the least, searched for even if it results come up empty. If you are willing to do that diligence at least you gave it a try.

 

 But all of this could be moot if the child is your husband's. Again, we hope that it is.

 

 

[Coco8 1,042]

In the meantime, you could find out if the kid has a birth certificate or you will need to request one. You could also talk to a family lawyer in Ghana to make sure you will be able to take the kid from Ghana without the mother's consent. She abandoned him so maybe there is a way to either give your husband full custody if he is the father or to create some legal document; you don't want to he mother to find out the kid is in the US and want money from you by threatening to take the kid back. She sounds pretty emotionally unstable. 

 

The kid also needs to get his immunization shots. They are required for the medical. If he is missing many, for kids they sometimes need to be spaced out a bit, so he should start now. 

[evoria 19]

1 minute ago, Coco8 said:

In the meantime, you could find out if the kid has a birth certificate or you will need to request one. You could also talk to a family lawyer in Ghana to make sure you will be able to take the kid from Ghana without the mother's consent. She abandoned him so maybe there is a way to either give your husband full custody if he is the father or to create some legal document; you don't want to he mother to find out the kid is in the US and want money from you by threatening to take the kid back. She sounds pretty emotionally unstable. 

 

The kid also needs to get his immunization shots. They are required for the medical. If he is missing many, for kids they sometimes need to be spaced out a bit, so he should start now. 

Thanks CoCo,

That is what I worry about is her coming back after many years and causing problems.  She would definitely be after money. Also, good point on the shots, I had not thought of that one. If he is the Father, I think in Ghana the Father has the advantage for custody.  I think, like other's have said it is prudent to know for sure before we apply.  

If he is not - we can work on plan B, tracking down the girl or some family member, going to a lawyer and trying to have my sister in law get custody so we can have some form of back up for the child in case of the worse case scenario.  I don't know if finding the Mom is even possible.  If it is not my husband's there is no way of know who the dad is. 

 

Thanks for the additional information - Great things to consider. 

[Boiler 46,128]

Presumably your Husband knows who she is, her name etc.

 

Did he declare the child on his Immigration paperwork?

[evoria 19]

1 minute ago, Boiler said:

Presumably your Husband knows who she is, her name etc.

 

Did he declare the child on his Immigration paperwork?

He does and no he did not.

[Boiler 46,128]

Good and not unsurmountable but obviously raises issues when there is a suddenly appearing child you want to sponsor.

[Rc123rc 528]

Having adopted a child from Guatemala 10 years ago, I can tell you that you are looking at a very long adoption process and it won't be easy. You will need a law advocate in Ghana and a US agency or US lawyer familiar with foreign adoptions. We had everything we could have to help and it still took a year.  I assume the Ghana courts will want all kinds of documented proof through DNA who are the biological parents, the mother's current whereabouts and status and so on. There is a lot of scrutiny for foreign adoptions now because of child trafficking. If a DNA test shows the child is your husband's then it becomes a lot easier but the mother will still need to give up all rights to the child. Good Luck!

[Ontarkie 14,499]

4 minutes ago, rcripps said:

Having adopted a child from Guatemala 10 years ago, I can tell you that you are looking at a very long adoption process and it won't be easy. You will need a law advocate in Ghana and a US agency or US lawyer familiar with foreign adoptions. We had everything we could have to help and it still took a year.  I assume the Ghana courts will want all kinds of documented proof through DNA who are the biological parents, the mother's current whereabouts and status and so on. There is a lot of scrutiny for foreign adoptions now because of child trafficking. If a DNA test shows the child is your husband's then it becomes a lot easier but the mother will still need to give up all rights to the child. Good Luck!

All good point but the last part the mother does not give up her rights to the child. She just needs to give consent to let him move to the US. She still keeps all her rights if she ever wants visitations and what not. He can even petition for his mother later as an adult.  

[evoria 19]

6 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

All good point but the last part the mother does not give up her rights to the child. She just needs to give consent to let him move to the US. She still keeps all her rights if she ever wants visitations and what not. He can even petition for his mother later as an adult.  

For the child's sake the best thing is for my husband to be the father.  If he is we begin the process of getting him in a position to come to the US.  It will take time; getting shots, trying to find the mother, or the mothers family, finding a birth certificate (who knows where and how to do that especially when you don't really know when ore where he was born).   My sister in law has had him since he was two.  She has not been able to find out anything.  He is at the age where its no big deal, but we need to get this worked out for the little fella, one way or the other. 

 

 

[Boiler 46,128]

The DNA test will get rid of a lot of ifs and maybe's.

[Daisy.Chain 317]

Find out if the child is his first before delving into the complexities of international adoption. It sounds like a nice thing you are trying to do - good luck!

[caliliving 606]

9 hours ago, evoria said:

If the child is not my husband's it really puts the child in a difficult place.  Its just sad.  Thanks for your comments.

well yeah, maybe you should have figured that out BEFORE she dropped the kid off on your doorstep!

you have no options until you have a DNA test. 

[trudi 1,317]

I think you are an incredibly generous and loving person to be doing this, as has been said DNA is your first step, if he is your husbands son the rest becomes easier.

 

I hope your husband appreciates what an amazing person he has in you, good luck & I hope everything works out for the little lad