Dont rush on Marriage after Fiance(e) arrives in U.S.A.

[riaz_m_syed 4]

21 minutes ago, Limey said:

Why on earth would you agree to marry someone you weren't sure you wanted to marry?

 

By the time I came into the USA on my k1 visa I'd spent around 6 months in total living with my fiancee during several trips. I wouldn't marry someone I hadn't really spent time with.

 

Delaying marriage means AOS is going to be delayed. For many people that isn't an option (they don't have the resources to go months without working).

Agreed! Not everyone is smart as you are!

[Unidentified 2,930]

On 6/28/2017 at 11:23 PM, riaz_m_syed said:

I hope people take this seriously...If you do, you will save yourself huge grief. After your fiance comes to U.S.A. take at least one or two months or full 90 days before you get married. Remember, all this while you have not gotten a chance to live with each other. chat and video is different from the reality of living together. So it gives both partners time to make sure they really want to get married and after you are absolutely sure, then go ahead with marriage.

Actually, that is the purpose of the 90 day limit of marriage. Because getting married will bring lot of liabilities on the couple, so be careful. Helps eliminate fraud as well

Okay I am sorry but I am not going to read all the replies before mine... I'm just going to jump straight to it. 

 

If you bring someone here on a K1 visa you should already have gotten to know the person you proposed to or said yes to. The 90 day period is not for you to date and figure out if you want to get married or not. That should already have been figured out before you even proposed/said yes and sent the papers in. 

 

Yes, for many people it is a big gamble because most people do not get to live together before getting married. But a lot of Americans seems to skip this step anyway and then somehow get surprised when things don't work out because they are not used to compromising but that's a whole different subject in itself that I am not going to discuss here...

 

If you want to be absolutely sure you are doing the right thing: spend more time together before proposing/saying yes. Actual being together time not skype time. I know it is super hard for Americans to take time off from work but if you want to be sure that is what you need to do. Also if you want to be sure you're not dating a scammer maybe say "hey, what about if I move to your country?" and see if they bail on you. 

 

The more you delay getting married and sending in the AOS paper means more time that your spouse is not going to be able to work or travel. What if there's an emergency in their home country? His/her parent suddenly died and they can't go visit because you decided to postpone sending everything in. Think about that. 

[lucybelle 453]

This is my biggest issue with that show 90 Day Fiance.  They frame the show that you get 90 days to decide if you want to get married.  When you apply for a K-1 visa, you ARE going to get married, you have 90 days to make arrangements.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

On 7/3/2017 at 11:10 AM, Unidentified said:

Okay I am sorry but I am not going to read all the replies before mine... I'm just going to jump straight to it. 

 

If you bring someone here on a K1 visa you should already have gotten to know the person you proposed to or said yes to. The 90 day period is not for you to date and figure out if you want to get married or not. That should already have been figured out before you even proposed/said yes and sent the papers in. 

 

Yes, for many people it is a big gamble because most people do not get to live together before getting married. But a lot of Americans seems to skip this step anyway and then somehow get surprised when things don't work out because they are not used to compromising but that's a whole different subject in itself that I am not going to discuss here...

 

If you want to be absolutely sure you are doing the right thing: spend more time together before proposing/saying yes. Actual being together time not skype time. I know it is super hard for Americans to take time off from work but if you want to be sure that is what you need to do. Also if you want to be sure you're not dating a scammer maybe say "hey, what about if I move to your country?" and see if they bail on you. 

 

The more you delay getting married and sending in the AOS paper means more time that your spouse is not going to be able to work or travel. What if there's an emergency in their home country? His/her parent suddenly died and they can't go visit because you decided to postpone sending everything in. Think about that. 

Yep previous posts stated these same points. 

[LionessDeon 2,060]

I think it's purely subjective. Each couple and relationship is different and unique.  What works for one may not work for another. 

I visited my then fiance seven times before his visa was issued. I can say that living with him now as husband and wife is not any different than when I visited except we don't have those horrid goodbyes anymore.  

We married 65 days after his arrival. We wanted some sort of a wedding and I wanted to give him some time to adjust first.  

While it's possible the future partner may show early signs of a scammer most are good enough to hide it until at least after the wedding. And from reading hundreds of posts here if red flags are seen they're often overlooked and the couple marries anyway.  

Edited July 5, 2017 by LionessDeon

[Dianalorena 1,153]

I think the best advice would be to wait and figure this out before applying for the K1 

Sure, it adds more time, but it can prevent you from undergoing a lengthy, expensive, complex and stressful mistake. 

Visit your partner. Meet their family/friends/parents if possible. See their traditions, customs, habits. Talk about future plans together, if kids are in the picture, if not. Think of the good, and the bad. Look for red flags. Discuss money, work, everything that might be uncomfortable, and learn that before you start. I actually had a quiz with my husband and we asked each other really invasive, important questions before getting married. We were going the CR1 route, but it was still crucial to see if we were compatible, and strong enough to survive this process together. 

As everyone has stated, the 90 day timeframe is just the time you have to marry, because if you don't, you fall out of status and have to return to your country. It is not ''90 days to see if my relationship would work'' you should figure that out beforehand.

 

[Randyandyuni 2,682]

everyone needs to do what works for them, advice while good intentioned does not take into consideration differences in culture, attitude and expectations, good luck to all, but even the perfect marriage can fail if the right provocation comes up

[gypsyqueen 103]

On 7/17/2017 at 3:14 PM, Dianalorena said:

I think the best advice would be to wait and figure this out before applying for the K1 

This ^^

I married the love of my life 3 days after arriving here, but we weren't rushing -  we were ready to get married. 

[Randyandyuni 2,682]

1 hour ago, gypsyqueen said:

This ^^

I married the love of my life 3 days after arriving here, but we weren't rushing -  we were ready to get married. 

Agreed, once you apply for the k1 you only have 2 options, trust in faith and get married or forgoing marriage and returninf home, if unsure of how to proceed its better to not proceed. A bad marriage is usually and bad marriages are typically not self healing, the decision should not be made lightly or merely to meet a deadline