Possible Case of Domestic Violence

[rosieanne 0]

Hi Everyone,

 

I just want to know when is the right time to apply for a divorce. I am still on the process of AOS (from K1 visa) and I applied last June 2016. I already had my biometrics, but no interview schedule yet.

 

Do you think, it is now the right time to file for a divorce case before the USCIS send me the greencard? My case is like related to DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. It is not yet proven, but I would like to get an answer to my above question before I go ask for a consultation to the local law offices.

 

I am looking forward for any responds and any significant infos regarding this matter. Thank you so much!

 

Sincerely,

Rossieanne

 

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Anytime.  Have you left your abuser?

[JFH 12,190]

The "right" time to file for divorce is when the marriage is well and truly over with no hope of reconciliation, and your immigration status should have no bearing on that. Divorce should not be entered into frivolously. And neither should marriage. If you are only in the AOS process I'm guessing you haven't been married very long. Have you tried to resolve matters? 

 

Im not sure what you mean by "kind of like domestic violence". Domestic violence is a very serious issue and either you are in an abusive relationship or you aren't. If the relationship is abusive then now would be the right time to divorce for your own safety - that should be your first concern before your immigration status. But it's not a claim to be made lightly. Have you called the police? 

[JFH 12,190]

*~*~*moved from "adjustment of status" to "effects of major family changes" as divorce and DV are mentioned*~*~*

[Boiler 45,525]

Has Hubby pulled the I 864? Sounds like the OP may need other options to adjust.

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

On ‎6‎/‎19‎/‎2017 at 9:40 AM, Boiler said:

Has Hubby pulled the I 864? Sounds like the OP may need other options to adjust.

Either that and OP realized there's another way to a GC.

 

Or hubby doesn't know that he's about to be blindsided with a divorce, right after the green card arrives.  Because OP has made it clear that wouldn't want to jeopardize the green card by divorcing now, even though she's in an abusive marriage.

Edited June 20, 2017 by Eric-Pris

[Boiler 45,525]

Immigration abusive or abusive abusive?

[rosieanne 0]

On 6/18/2017 at 8:24 AM, Transborderwife said:

Anytime.  Have you left your abuser?

 

On 6/18/2017 at 8:29 AM, JFH said:

The "right" time to file for divorce is when the marriage is well and truly over with no hope of reconciliation, and your immigration status should have no bearing on that. Divorce should not be entered into frivolously. And neither should marriage. If you are only in the AOS process I'm guessing you haven't been married very long. Have you tried to resolve matters? 

 

Im not sure what you mean by "kind of like domestic violence". Domestic violence is a very serious issue and either you are in an abusive relationship or you aren't. If the relationship is abusive then now would be the right time to divorce for your own safety - that should be your first concern before your immigration status. But it's not a claim to be made lightly. Have you called the police? 

 

4 hours ago, Eric-Pris said:

Either that and OP realized there's another way to a GC.

 

Or hubby doesn't know that he's about to be blindsided with a divorce, right after the green card arrives.  Because OP has made it clear that wouldn't want to jeopardize the green card by divorcing now, even though she's in an abusive marriage.

 

2 hours ago, Boiler said:

Immigration abusive or abusive abusive?

 Hi everyone,

 

PS. I AM NOT AN ENGLISH NATIVE SPEAKER, but I hope you can understand what I want to convey in my posts and thank you for the responses.

 

As I said in my 1st post, "a possible case of DV", because it isn't the physical type of abuse. So it might be more on psychological, emotional, economical, which seems so difficult to prove. All I got as evidences are my personal diaries, chat messages from 3 different women; the observations/comments of some of our friends here; my tendinitis on both hands that I got from working too hard to help out myself (I am a nurse, but tried to work in the restaurant, doing yardworks to our neighbors) because he is just giving me 100 bucks every 2 weeks; and his plane ticket that he left me here in the US for almost 6 MONTHS to process his veterans claims in our country home, (as what he said to me), well in fact he can also process it here. So he's there, and I am asking him for some updates and he's just gonna tell me, "still on the process and/or it was rescheduled, or I have no appointment yet".

Lately, however we had an argument and came out from his text message,  "I work so hard for very long time, and so I went home to find time to rest and relax." Okey,  I accepted that reasons, but then what if you accidentally opened his email account (life finds way to reveal the truth) and found that he was chatting with different women in that place, and sharing their emails and contact numbers, and his planning to meet them???

He also tried to threaten me saying, I gonna buy you a plane ticket tomorrow. Sometime, I also heard from him that he's not going to get a surgery without a company at home. And that I thought he just petitioned me to become his personal nurse and a housetaker, not as his wife.

 

I arrived here in the US on 3rd March 2016, no EAD, driver's license, no enough money to buy my winter clothes. We got married in May, without any plans at all. He just told me 3 days before we are going to get married, without telling his friends and family, without buying us a pair of wedding rings.

 

With the story I shared above, though these are just half of the story, I feel like I was being abused. Maybe, you can say I was just overreacting or whatsoever. But that is what I see and feel about my experiences living together with him.

 

About the IMMIGRATION STUFFS, i don't care that much about the greencard. I don't want to stay with him for years or my whole life. I resigned from my job and left beside my family and chose to stay him because he promised me that we gonna help each other. I don't want to blame anyone, because it was own decision. All I want is to fight for my rights, if it is proven that what he's been doing to me is consider a domestic violence.

 

[Boiler 45,525]

What do you mean by rights? Sounds like you need a divorce lawyer.

[rosieanne 0]

On 6/19/2017 at 9:40 AM, Boiler said:

Has Hubby pulled the I 864? Sounds like the OP may need other options to adjust.

 No, he has not yet. But there might be a possibility when he come back from his vacation. I shared my story because I want to get some advice, whether it is better to file a divorce before the greencard approval so I will not get an issue to the immigration, or gonna file for it after the approval of GC ( and just tried and hoping our relationship gonna work and be happy together.

 I asked about the AOS immigration stuff while considering a divorce, because I can see that I wasted my life here for more than a year and seems like he was planning to just sending me home like an LBC package. No way! 

 

6 hours ago, Eric-Pris said:

 

 

12 minutes ago, Boiler said:

 

 

[rosieanne 0]

28 minutes ago, Boiler said:

What do you mean by rights? Sounds like you need a divorce lawyer.

Seems like I wasted my life and been abused for more than a year.

Do you think so? A friend of mine also told me the same to go to a divorce lawyer ASAP before my husband come back.

[rosieanne 0]

38 minutes ago, Boiler said:

What do you mean by rights? Sounds like you need a divorce lawyer.

 

5 minutes ago, rosieanne said:

Seems like I wasted my life and been abused for more than a year.

Do you think so? A friend of mine also told me the same to go to a divorce lawyer ASAP before my husband come back.

But some of our friends told me to file 2 years after you get you GC. 

[Boiler 45,525]

Good that you have friends to support you in this difficult time.