Confused...

[jamie916 1]

Today marks the day I met my fiancé online one year ago. He is from Kashmir, has been married to and since divorced a woman in Germany (they married in India and she had an affair before his visa could be approved; it was denied twice and they were fighting it in court), and we have met once in Thailand. During the visa process with the German Embassy, investigators came to his village and questioned his neighbors who spread rumors that he had converted to Christianity, creating problems for him. Because of these reasons, he is terrified of taking the risk of going through the process again and doesn't want to tell his family.

 

A friend of mine who runs an online group for women dating/engaged/married to Indian men tells me, "I dunno. I think it's typical these guys are scared at first, but after a year he needs to step it up and grow some balls. The embassy will not come to his house, but the police clearance people will. They're local and only check for address. He needs to tell his mom... you need to get married in India. There really is no other way without it looking suspicious, red flags..  denial"

 

We have talked about getting married abroad, in another country, which I thought was feasible because I have had even lawyers tell me that it's a good option, but my friend (quoted above) has very firsthand experience. He tells me there is "no way" that can happen--marrying in India, having investigators show up and question his family and neighbors again, making a "bad name for himself" by repeating what he did before, etc...

 

Is it, in fact, true that they will only approve those who have married in India? Is it not possible to marry in another country? Does he have to tell his family for visa approval? Is this the only way? Any advice and insight will be much appreciated...

[Roel 7,192]

You can marry anywhere you want. It doesn't matter as much as your proofs of the bonefide relationship. You didn't mention how much time you have spend together etc.  That what matters. You said his visa was denied twice? What visa? His family should know about you. If anyone some questioning them and they answer they have no idea about you or the process, it won't look good for showing a real relationship. 

[KozmicBlues 592]

Hi. So you said you met once in Thailand...was that the only time you met? And for how long? The fact that you have never gone to visit in his home country might be a red flag for the Indian embassy on top of the other things you mentioned. But it's not a requirement. Technically for the visa purposes you can get married anywhere and technically families don't have to approve of it. However, India is a known high-fraud embassy and you will like be subject to higher scrutiny at the embassy. If you have never even been to India and his family does not approve...that is not going to look very good for a case of a bonafide relationship. I know Kashmir isn't exactly an ideal place to meet especially for a US citizen since it's a known area of conflict, but maybe you guys could meet in a different city like Delhi or something? They may not even ask about his family but if they do look into it and his family isn't even aware or highly disapproves then it will likely hinder on their decision to approve the visa. 

 

It's not true that they will only approve visa for marriages taken place in India, but given that you have other red flags I think it would help your case to get married in India, if possible. This is all just based on the knowledge I have so far from researching India embassy and everything. I'm still in the K1 process pending our approval, so my fiance has not gone through the India embassy interview phase yet.

 

Best of luck to you!!

[jamie916 1]

Thank you for your responses. We spent ten days together in Thailand. He was denied three times total in Europe: Once for the German visitor/tourist visa before they were married, the second time for the German spousal visa after getting married, and then he was denied the visitor/tourist visa in Poland before being approved and living there for a month (to prove to Europe that he could/would use it responsibly). They were in the process of fighting for the spousal visa in court when she cheated on him, leading to the downfall of their relationship.

[KozmicBlues 592]

30 minutes ago, jamie916 said:

Thank you for your responses. We spent ten days together in Thailand. He was denied three times total in Europe: Once for the German visitor/tourist visa before they were married, the second time for the German spousal visa after getting married, and then he was denied the visitor/tourist visa in Poland before being approved and living there for a month (to prove to Europe that he could/would use it responsibly). They were in the process of fighting for the spousal visa in court when she cheated on him, leading to the downfall of their relationship.

Okay so you guys met while you were both visiting Thailand? Or you went to meet him for the first time in Thailand instead of Kashmir/India? Many people have talked about how they met in a different country because of tourist visa purposes or maybe meeting somewhere half-way. But Thailand is really close to India so I guess it may seem odd to someone why you chose to meet in Thailand instead of you just meeting him in India. Either way, technically the requirement of a K1 visa is that you have met in the past 2 years...doesn't matter where you met. So that fact shouldn't matter. Just asking since you mention your concern about all of the other red flags, so I think anything else out of the ordinary will cause additional question.

 

The denied tourist visas should not impact the approval at the USCIS level, but I'm not sure if the denied marriage visa will have any impact. I'm assuming the embassy would look more into the situation because of it but I don't know. Do you know the reason why the visa was previously denied? If it was something on his end then I'm guessing you will likely get the same result unless whatever the concern was has been resolved. 

 

You guys may want to try finding a lawyer to at least do a consult with to see if you can get any advice on your situation. A lot of lawyers will do free consults. I found one in India who gave us a free consult about my visa situation for eventually moving there and the consult was free and helpful. 

 

**Edit - I just realized the denied visas were for countries other than US. So really I'm not sure they will even have an effect on the US visa process. You may definitely have some red flags that could raise concern at the embassy level, but if you meet the requirements you can still file for the K1 visa. 

Edited June 15, 2017 by KozmicBlues

[jamie916 1]

We met online and for the first time in Thailand instead of Kashmir/India simply because we had more freedom there. (It's not fun being a Kashmiri outside of Kashmir with as much conflict as they have with the Indian government!) He was denied based on doubt and doubt alone--no reason, in particular.  They provided all required documents, followed all the steps... Embassies are just "deny-happy," from what I've heard. I have talked to a couple lawyers, actually, and would/will definitely have one involved every step of the way if/when the time comes.

[KozmicBlues 592]

8 minutes ago, jamie916 said:

We met online and for the first time in Thailand instead of Kashmir/India simply because we had more freedom there. (It's not fun being a Kashmiri outside of Kashmir with as much conflict as they have with the Indian government!) He was denied based on doubt and doubt alone--no reason, in particular.  They provided all required documents, followed all the steps... Embassies are just "deny-happy," from what I've heard. I have talked to a couple lawyers, actually, and would/will definitely have one involved every step of the way if/when the time comes.

Okay yeah that makes complete sense, I know the Kashmir/India conflict is pretty intense so I totally understand. Sounds like you guys are eligible to file either for the K1 fiance visa or the spouse visa as long as you get married first for the spouse visa...which can be in a different country unless you have the legal docs for the marriage required and everything. I get that he's hesitant and worried about going through the process again, but if you guys want to be together it's the only option. So at some point he will have to make it happen regardless of if he fears whether or not it will be approved. The only other option would be for you to move there or you guys both move to another country where you can both live, but if either of those are not options for you two then you only have one choice. And in that regard your friend is kind of right, but I maybe would've used less harsh words haha. But to her point, he does at some point have to deal with it if you want to be together. 

 

Also curious about what the site is for women in a relationship with Indian guys? I'm interested in meeting other women in a similar situation because I don't know anyone personally who can relate! haha. If you feel comfortable sharing, can you message it to me? No worries if it's more of a private forum or something...I understand.  

[TexasHeartsIndia 371]

I would also be interested in the forum!