Possible Breakup

[NYGirl 0]

I know it's easier said than done but I think you made the right choice.

I also think he's using you for visa because he said he doesn't want to talk to you until visa......that's weird and very suspicious. He's not worth it and you did not deserve to be ignored. If he doesn't listen to you now what will happen years from now???? He definitely sounds like an a$$hole, no doubts.

Good luck and keep your chin up, you can find someone better who will listen to you, respect you and care for you instead of ignoring you.

[George and Jenny 0]

It IS therapeutic to write it, but I also wrote this because maybe someone else might see this happening to them in future and they need to know that this behavior and stuff isn't ok, even in long distance relationships where sometimes you can't be sure because you aren't with the person. I also have not felt that kind of life-sucking depression that I've felt with him since like, one point in 2003 and before that probably since my late teens/early 20's when I struggled with depression issues. it was just scary to feel it again, and I felt like Oh My God if I marry him, I may be dooming myself.

YES IT'S HARD AT FIRST, MY ADVICE -JUST USE YOUR GUT INSTINCT. YOU HAVE MADE THE RIGHT MOVE AND EVERYONE HERE AGREES WITH YOU. . THE QUESTION IS CAN YOU DO YOURSELF A BIG BIG FAVOR AND DO YOU BEST TO STAY AWAY FROM HIM. YOU WILL HAVE TO LEARN TO IGNORE HIM. YES NOT EVEN A SMALL " HELLO" CUZ THAT OPENS THE DOOR TO CONTINUED ABUSE AGAIN. TAKE NOTE!!!

MYSELF, I MISS MY DISTANT SOULMATE AND AT TIMES I FEEL THE SECOND QUESING GAME TOO . BUT SOMEHOW WHEN WE ARE BACK ON YAHOO CHAT WITH CAM AND OR I HEAR HER VOICE, I KNOW THIS IS REAL LOVE THAT WE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE TOGETHER IN LOVE FOR EVER.

AS THE PREVIOUS LADY SAID, ......"THERE'S A REAL GOOD MAN WAITING TO MEET YOU AND YOU WILL FIND HIM WHERE YOU LEAST EXPECT".

[Ta Ta 1]

What you have : a manipulative, selfish, tantrum throwing boy.

What you need : a kind, attentive man who will make you his top priority and shares your faith.

Short and simple......don't respond to any more emails or phone calls from him.

Block him from IM. Move on. Ruuuuuun !!!

[Mags 112]

Does he drink alot of cider?

[Ivelina_Andrew 0]

I think you are lucky that you did not meet that guy in the States - it would have been a lot harder to break up if he was around all the time and acting and talking the way you describe it.

Do it for your own good, you deserve better, move on to a better life.

you would be surprised how strong you are. Good luck!

[keltic 1]

i just want to make another post to reiterate what a few of the other posters have said...

WITHDRAW YOUR PETITION

dont let him get to the interview and have the interviewer think you still intend to marry him... then he could actually get into the country and either 1) get what he was after in the first place, the visa... or 2) if he is really angry, possibly try to gain physical proximity to you and make life difficult for you (calling, coming by, etc)

dont waste any time, just withdraw the petition... and cut off ALL contact with him... give him no further chance to get in any verbal abuse or manipulation

this is, of course, only my 2 cents... but obviously, i feel strong enough to post it

[katand7 0]

If you do decide to show up at the interview, I hope it is only to slap him across the face and make it clear you are withdrawing the petition!!!

But, on a more serious note, I hope that you will stay strong and not be conned into staying around or investing more time. As someone who was in an abusive relationship in the past, I can tell you that this type of "crazymaking" that abusers/manipulators do does throw you off and bring you to a place where you feel like you can't even think straight. You start second guessing everything and thinking things like "boy I must be crazy because I'm sure just a minute ago he was saying _______ and yet now he's all sweet as pie, etc."

Give yourself the greatest gift - freedom from this disaster waiting to happen. By reaching out you have found lots of support and I hope you will take advantage of it during this difficult time. But each day will get easier and you will find you are clearer everyday.

Best wishes to you!!!

[WifeOHunkyJohn 2]

You have been given a lot of great advice, and the consistency of the answers should be an encouragement to you. I looked up the contact information for the Embassy in London for you and there is a switchboard number. I've posted it here for your convenience

24 Grosvenor Square

London, W1A 1AE

United Kingdom

Switchboard: [44] (0)20 7499-9000

Operator Assisted Visa Information: 09042-450100 (This is NOT a London number. It does not require any other prefix or dialling code.)

Monday through Friday, 8.00 a.m. until 8.00 p.m., and on Saturdays from 10.00 a.m. until 4.00 p.m.; £1.20/min; only available in the U.K., within U.K. may be unavailable from some business telephones and mobile networks.

Skype is a great service that lets you call people via your computer. Stick on a couple of bucks and you can call a land line from your computer at a very cheap rate.

I encourage you to make the call, and to contact USCIS here in the States as well and withdraw your petition.

Best wishes

Annie

[Rings 10]

All that I can say is "Wow"

I want to give you words that will help you in some way, but I know that no matter what is said... things will still remain the same. Nevertheless, you know your worth and your strength and you will beat this like every other battle you have come across in life.

Everyone is always looking for love. Everyone wants to find that special someone to grow old with and to spend their lives with. I don't know much, but what I do know is that when I stopped looking for love... love somehow found me.

Love is uncondtional

You don't love me sometimes or love me just for today or maybe you want to love me tomorrow instead.

Love is.

You either love me or you don't love me...

There is no 'inbetween', 'maybe not' or 'I think I might' when it comes to loving someone.

You either fight the fight beside me and take the journey aside me,

or you don't.

If you walk in front of me, then I may happen to see you when I catch up, but I am not going to run when I am already out of breath. If you are so far ahead, then you look too small for me to care about anyway.

If you walk behind me, then I cannot be expected to stop and wait. I cannot pull your weight for you... I already have enough weight of my own to carry. I have places to go and things to see, I can't read a book backwards or I will never get to the end of it.

To love someone is the gift

This is what I personally think that love is. If you can honestly look at your situation and call it love and know in your heart that you will be happy with this man, then by all means... get married. Otherwise, you have a lifetime for love to find you and when it does find you, you will be glad that all of your choices in your life have made it possible for you to be found by such a wonderful and powerful love.

Good luck in your path - no matter what path you may choose

[Dan J 277]

From your post I could only tell that he hates you.

[Kath 0]

hi

i was in a relationship like this for years...this is mental abuse..at least you are seeing it now before you got married ...i did not..this kind of people like to treat their spouses like 2nd class citizens...took me 20 years to get out of that relationship basically because i was scared stiff to do it...dont waste your life mate...do something about it...

you have the chance to live a happy full life and find someone who loves you ... to communicate with you.. and listens to you..

contact the consulate like someone suggested...take no phone calls from him..put him on ignore on all sides of communication..it will be hard believe me but you have to be strong and believe there is a better life out there for you...just remember the warning bells ringing ..

i am now happily married to a wonderful man who thoughout our being apart devoted all his time to talking to me and we still do to this day..

as my fellow aussie mate said run forest run...

good luck in what you decide have courage .. find support within your family and friends ..

take care

kath

[JenT 0]

How in the world did you even make it this far?

Consider what you have learned about yourself from all of this and DON'T compromise in your next relationship. Cut off all communication with him/his family/his friends (change your online ID and your phone number if you have to), give yourself time to heal, and move on.

Jen

[meauxna 15]

I wanted some validation that I really am not hallucinating and I really am right about my gut feelings here.

Big heaping plate of validation here. You are not hallucinating.

Best wishes for a future without that one. I'm sure his Mum will look after him.

[Thai Pham 0]

you can not live without him and you know that .

so let him go to the interview and give a chance to cum here . You treat him good and he will treat you better .

I feel sorry for the dude .

[J&D_anon 0]

you can not live without him and you know that .

so let him go to the interview and give a chance to cum here . You treat him good and he will treat you better .

I feel sorry for the dude .

#######?!?!?!

Sorry, but did you even read what she wrote???

After what you just said, I'd assume that not. ANd if yes and that is your honest and real oppinion, then I feel sorry for the relationship that you are in, if you think, that this is a normal treatment.

Shaking my head!!!!!

Diana