Possible Breakup

[Emancipation 2]

Oh yeah here is a peach: he blames me for the abusive way he treats me. He tells me I am always attacking him and it puts him on the defensive.

Classic abusive personality there.... Been there.. have a divorce to prove it. This as painful and confusing as it is, is a blessing for you. Distance and time will prove that to you hon. People like that take and take and take. You would end up exhausted and destroyed. Thinking of you as you recover and get distance from this. Take care of yourself!

[tmma 467]

He went to the visa interview and it was DENIED.

Visas are not generally denied for lack of sufficient funds.

Not issued, yes, but that is not the same thing. You are not 'protected' from him not getting the visa and not coming to the US. If you sincerely do not want him to get a K visa and travel to YOUR HOME, you *must* contact the US Embassy and withdraw your petition and sponsorship. IN WRITING.

Right.

Mairzy, I have read this whole thread....I know I am late in here, but I just HAD to post.....

Why have you not cancelled the petition?

You know you need to do this. Just telling him " Let's stop this..." is NOT going to stop anything!!!!!!

If you no longer believe in the relationship, support the petition OR intend to follow through with the " Intent to Marry" statement YOU signed, then it is YOUR obligation to inform the USCIS/Consulate to prevent a visa being issued to someone who NO LONGER qualifies for one!

That is ( of course) if you are serious about leaving this loser......

Edited April 23, 2007 by tmma

[Fandango 1,439]

He went to the visa interview and it was DENIED.

Visas are not generally denied for lack of sufficient funds.

Not issued, yes, but that is not the same thing. You are not 'protected' from him not getting the visa and not coming to the US. If you sincerely do not want him to get a K visa and travel to YOUR HOME, you *must* contact the US Embassy and withdraw your petition and sponsorship. IN WRITING.

Right.

Mairzy, I have read this whole thread....I know I am late in here, but I just HAD to post.....

Why have you not cancelled the petition?

You know you need to do this. Just telling him " Let's stop this..." is NOT going to stop anything!!!!!!

If you no longer believe in the relationship, support the petition OR intend to follow through with the " Intent to Marry" statement YOU signed, then it is YOUR obligation to inform the USCIS/Consulate to prevent a visa being issued to someone who NO LONGER qualifies for one!

That is ( of course) if you are serious about leaving this loser......

Oi she's not, now get on yahoo or call me NOW

[KarenCee 3]

Oh yeah here is a peach: he blames me for the abusive way he treats me. He tells me I am always attacking him and it puts him on the defensive.

Classic abusive personality there.... Been there.. have a divorce to prove it. This as painful and confusing as it is, is a blessing for you. Distance and time will prove that to you hon. People like that take and take and take. You would end up exhausted and destroyed. Thinking of you as you recover and get distance from this. Take care of yourself!

This is what everyone has tried to tell her....she has to want to distance herself from all this abuse. I went through the same ####### that you have too...you and I decided enough is enough and did something about it. She has to want the same thing...right now it doesn't sound as if she's wanting that.

[MairzyDoats 0]

Can't you self-sponsor in england? I'm confused as to why he mucked this up when it's clear what his priorities are.

He went to the visa interview and it was DENIED.

Visas are not generally denied for lack of sufficient funds.

Not issued, yes, but that is not the same thing. You are not 'protected' from him not getting the visa and not coming to the US. If you sincerely do not want him to get a K visa and travel to YOUR HOME, you *must* contact the US Embassy and withdraw your petition and sponsorship. IN WRITING.

He said it was denied. But then he also said they gave him "a blue piece of paper" (I asked what it was and he said it was in his bag and it was too much trouble to fish it out. *sigh*) and told him to get another sponsor. I don't see how he can because I told him the second sponsor is now unwilling, so he can't just use their information without committing a crime I'm sure. (Do they have to withdraw the affidavit in writing as well? I might as well kill two birds with one stone.)

About the denial vs. not issued .... he tells me what he tells me.

[LaL 418]

blue paper? that sounds like a 221(g) asking for more documents in order to further pursue the visa application. if so, its a refusal not a denial.

[MairzyDoats 0]

#######.

*toddles off to type up letter to uscis including this time the bit about the second sponsor*

[tmma 467]

Can't you self-sponsor in england? I'm confused as to why he mucked this up when it's clear what his priorities are.

He went to the visa interview and it was DENIED.

Visas are not generally denied for lack of sufficient funds.

Not issued, yes, but that is not the same thing. You are not 'protected' from him not getting the visa and not coming to the US. If you sincerely do not want him to get a K visa and travel to YOUR HOME, you *must* contact the US Embassy and withdraw your petition and sponsorship. IN WRITING.

He said it was denied. But then he also said they gave him "a blue piece of paper" (I asked what it was and he said it was in his bag and it was too much trouble to fish it out. *sigh*) and told him to get another sponsor. I don't see how he can because I told him the second sponsor is now unwilling, so he can't just use their information without committing a crime I'm sure. (Do they have to withdraw the affidavit in writing as well? I might as well kill two birds with one stone.)

About the denial vs. not issued .... he tells me what he tells me.

-he can self sponsor through London.....

You DO realize that this is action on a petition that YOU signed; for a visa for HIM, right?

It's NOT the USCIS'S or Consulate's responsibility to give you a " get out" of a bad relationship. It is YOUR responsibility and obligation to close this matter ( as far as the visa goes).

You just told him " the 2nd sponsor is unwilling" as an excuse to get out of this. Why not just be straight forward and do it properly...Cancel the visa, take responsibility for the process that YOU started, and be done with it.

Remember YOU signed an "Intent to Marry" statement.

If you no longer have that intention, you need to withdraw the petition properly........that makes this statement pretty much false, right? if he gets a visa based on it....hmmm...I dunno what would happen then.

save yourself a bunch of hassle later by doing it properly now.

Edited April 23, 2007 by tmma

[almaty 19]

blue paper? that sounds like a 221(g) asking for more documents in order to further pursue the visa application. if so, its a refusal not a denial.

i agree...sanita received a 221 g....

with the findings stating./.send application back to america with a request to deny////

[Fandango 1,439]

I don't see how he can because I told him the second sponsor is now unwilling, so he can't just use their information without committing a crime I'm sure. (Do they have to withdraw the affidavit in writing as well? I might as well kill two birds with one stone.)

You're also committing visa fraud by already saying you don't want to get married, but not withdrawing the petition.

Quit chasing your tail!

Edited April 23, 2007 by LisaD

[Lizzy 0]

I can not believe this topic is still going on.

Don't just sit there and say to him.. Its finished.. cancel the bloody petiton and change your number etc.

[meauxna 15]

He said it was denied. But then he also said they gave him "a blue piece of paper" (I asked what it was and he said it was in his bag and it was too much trouble to fish it out. *sigh*) and told him to get another sponsor. I don't see how he can because I told him the second sponsor is now unwilling, so he can't just use their information without committing a crime I'm sure. (Do they have to withdraw the affidavit in writing as well? I might as well kill two birds with one stone.)

About the denial vs. not issued .... he tells me what he tells me.

That tracks with his previous behavior (that you've reported) and with my previous comment. The visa was not denied; he is being offered another opportunity to meet the requirements.

What on earth makes you think that he would not go ahead and use your friend's documents based on your say-so? He has ignored what you've told him up to now.

I think it would be wise for your friend to fax the Immigrant Visa Unit ASAP and withdraw her financial support.

#######.

*toddles off to type up letter to uscis including this time the bit about the second sponsor*

It's both USCIS and the Dept of State (Immigrant Visa Unit at the Embassy) that you want to notify. DOS is the department issuing the visa--USCIS is really done with you right now.

[LaL 418]

blue paper? that sounds like a 221(g) asking for more documents in order to further pursue the visa application. if so, its a refusal not a denial.

i agree...sanita received a 221 g....

with the findings stating./.send application back to america with a request to deny////

that WOULD be an attempted denial bro dean (consular return), but they can also use 221(g) as a temp refusal when asking for additional documents, which is what this looks like. kind of like an RFE at the interview.

[almaty 19]

blue paper? that sounds like a 221(g) asking for more documents in order to further pursue the visa application. if so, its a refusal not a denial.

i agree...sanita received a 221 g....

with the findings stating./.send application back to america with a request to deny////

that WOULD be an attempted denial bro dean (consular return), but they can also use 221(g) as a temp refusal when asking for additional documents, which is what this looks like. kind of like an RFE at the interview.

i agree..it was a request for a denial and not an outright denial, which i knew..

[Fandango 1,439]

I think it would be wise for your friend to fax the Immigrant Visa Unit ASAP and withdraw her financial support.

So agreed!

And how deplorable that the OP hasn't yet....her friend/family member put him/herself on the line for summat, and the OP isn't respecting how big of a gesture it is.

Cos if plans are scrapped, protecting the cosponsor is the least OP could do.