For those who closed the distance, what did you do to make your partner feel more at home?

[Estibaliz 3,037]

This is a great topic indeed. As the beneficiary, I have to tell we already did a good bunch of those things when I visited for 2 months in 2016 and 3 months early this year. I feel ready for moving there because we already made a couple of tests and got good results.

However, I have to say myself if my fiance offered me any kind of money, he would be getting a kick in the butt. I'm kind of ok with him getting groceries and paying supplies, though I usually contribute in cash and I'll be working towards splitting expenses. I'll get cash with me and I have my savings following right away after getting married. I might not get a job soon there, but I still have resources.

So yep, I think it's a good advice to make the other one feel comfortable in that area, but always keeping in mind every individual situation and personality.

[Lenchique 48]

This is such a great topic! So because I am working full time plus part time job plus full time grad school, I essentially asked my fiancé to "take care of me and the apartment/home" for the first season in our marriage or until he gets his work permit. He is a great cook so I figure if he has responsibilities around the home, grocery shop, cook for us, and manage our budget, he will not feel so useless while he waits for work permit. He also is a hair guy- barber for men. I'm hoping he will also cut and style my hair . He likes my hair a certain way and fantasies about styling it. I'm hoping these ways of "taking care of me" will elevate his dignity while I slave to bring home the big bucks.

 

he also loves to dance so I'm surprising him with tango dance classes, which will last for 3-4 months. 

 

I am also thinking we will need to buy him a bike so we can bike together and I'm going to try to get him to be a a volunteer at the museum of Russian Art in my city once every few weeks for exhibits so he can feel a little more connected to his culture as he gets to know other workers there. 

 

Lastly, my hope is he will find community on the tiny Russian Orthodox Church in my town. I go to the Greek Orthodox Church but am willing to visit a church of his preference so he can feel more at home. 

Edited June 14, 2017 by Lenchique

[j N j 50]

Excellent topic and some great ideas/suggestions everyone.. keep them coming. My Fiance isnt here yet, but have already started working on things for her arrival here. Many of the suggestions we have already talked about.. The weather here in Florida is similar to PH, she has also spent the last 13 years in HK, so being away from family isnt anything new to her. Skype will be available here anytime she wants to contact family overseas. On a side note, shes already mentioned about Hurricanes, sink holes and alligators here, Lol

[David & Diana R 1,005]

17 minutes ago, j N j said:

Excellent topic and some great ideas/suggestions everyone.. keep them coming. My Fiance isnt here yet, but have already started working on things for her arrival here. Many of the suggestions we have already talked about.. The weather here in Florida is similar to PH, she has also spent the last 13 years in HK, so being away from family isnt anything new to her. Skype will be available here anytime she wants to contact family overseas. On a side note, shes already mentioned about Hurricanes, sink holes and alligators here, Lol

Yeah, they probably warned them all at their CFO classes about alligators, sinkholes and hurricanes of all things?  The Philippines is probably one of the most frequently hurricane hit countries in the world.

Edited June 14, 2017 by David & Zoila

[j N j 50]

Just now, David & Zoila said:

Yeah, they probably warned them all at their CFO classes about alligators, sinkholes and hurricanes of all things?  The Philippines is probably one of the most frequently hurricane hit countries in the world.  hahaha

haha, indeed 

[David & Diana R 1,005]

1 minute ago, j N j said:

haha, indeed 

Has your fiance completed the CFO process yet?  That was the most ridiculous thing I ever saw in my life.  Just another money making scam for the Philippine government.  They were talking like it was 1940 in the USA.  What a frickin' joke.

[j N j 50]

11 minutes ago, David & Zoila said:

Has your fiance completed the CFO process yet?  That was the most ridiculous thing I ever saw in my life.  Just another money making scam for the Philippine government.  They were talking like it was 1940 in the USA.  What a frickin' joke.

she has not, but I have the same thoughts as you on this..

[Jordan8768 107]

I come from a very similar culture but for me having my favourite Foods from home and watching shows and movies from England always helped and I always stay in contact with my friends and family back in England. 

[Ontarkie 14,221]

~~Moved to Moving Here and Your New Life, from K1 P&P - As similar topics are often discussed here.~~

[KatieAndNaimah 108]

4 minutes ago, Jordan8768 said:

I come from a very similar culture but for me having my favourite Foods from home and watching shows and movies from England always helped and I always stay in contact with my friends and family back in England. 

Yes, my fiance is from England and is worrying about her dairy milk chocolate, whatever that is... I am making a list of things like this she mentions so I can find shops that sell things she'll miss. I am making sure I am learning how to prepare some classic British dishes, from bacon butties to more advanced dishes

[David & Diana R 1,005]

.

Edited June 14, 2017 by David & Zoila

[Ontarkie 14,221]

3 minutes ago, CaptNaimerica said:

Yes, my fiance is from England and is worrying about her dairy milk chocolate, whatever that is... I am making a list of things like this she mentions so I can find shops that sell things she'll miss. I am making sure I am learning how to prepare some classic British dishes, from bacon butties to more advanced dishes

She will not be impressed about the US chocolate. Try and go into Canada and grab some when you can, Canada carries some of the chocolates she's familiar with. Like Dairy Milk. Trust me Hershey's sucks and they now own Cadbury in the US so it's not the same stuff. Quality has gone way down. 

[Jordan8768 107]

6 minutes ago, CaptNaimerica said:

Yes, my fiance is from England and is worrying about her dairy milk chocolate, whatever that is... I am making a list of things like this she mentions so I can find shops that sell things she'll miss. I am making sure I am learning how to prepare some classic British dishes, from bacon butties to more advanced dishes

They sell a lot of British food in most grocery stores, it's quite expensive but worth it! There's also a lot of pubs and restaurants that sell classic British dishes 

 

[Greenbaum 12,259]

32 minutes ago, David & Zoila said:

Has your fiance completed the CFO process yet?  That was the most ridiculous thing I ever saw in my life.  Just another money making scam for the Philippine government.  They were talking like it was 1940 in the USA.  What a frickin' joke.

 

20 minutes ago, j N j said:

she has not, but I have the same thoughts as you on this..

Guys. I am much further ahead then you are so maybe I can shed a little light on what CFO is all about.  First the Philippines is a High Human Trafficking country do mostly to the friendly culture.  Pinay's will talk to just about anyone. Think ahead as she is coming to a country that she knows nothing about. Second, their are people here in the States that will take advantage of a Pinay or for that matter anyone that is "gullible" enough to "follow".

 

CFO takes the time to outline the problems that they may encounter and what "authorities" are available to "rescue" them which they also include how to contact them. We, as Americans, are not prone to fall into these situations and of course we already know how to deal with them if we are faced with a "dangerous" situation.

 

So before you condemned something that your not a 100% sure of (I know that you are not totally versed in CFO because one is not allowed to sit in on the CFO meetings) investigate, research and talk with your Pinay about situations that she might encounter and how to seek help. This is not the 1950's where we left our house unlocked or our car doors unlocked. It's a different world out their so just keep that in mind as you begin your knew life together. I wish you and your Pinay much happiness.

 

I to am married to a Pinay and I am no expert in all things concerning a FIL-AM marriage.

[j N j 50]

5 minutes ago, Greenbaum said:

It's a different world out their so just keep that in mind as you begin your knew life together. I wish you and your Pinay much happiness.

 

I to am married to a Pinay and I am no expert in all things concerning a FIL-AM marriage.

And same to you and yours!