Weddings, Food and Etiquette

[ajames79 0]

poor bride and groom.

Oh whoa is me....

I realize that it might be my own opinion...and it isn't a popular one....but a marriage is about the bride and groom. A wedding is about the guests. Now. Again...if this were a huge wedding, perhaps with several options on a buffet, not in a resturant, and someone was being very picky then yes I can see over looking it and keping quiet. I am also not saying make a huge deal about it.

But I guess it is one of my pet peeves and it erks me that everyone is so don't interfere with the poor bride...I thought it was a simple, not out of all reason question to ask.

Like this: "Jane, I am sorry to bother you about this, but my husband is not a fish or tofu eater, would you mind if I called the resturant and reserved him the chicken pasta, I'd be happy to pay for it?! I can't wait to try the fish dish though, it sounds amazing!"

earth shattering isn't it!? She might have an heart attack.

Edited April 14, 2007 by ajames79

[NYGirl 0]

am i invited to your wedding? i wanna eat that yummy food!!!!!!!!!!!!1 hahahaha

Sure Jen

When your mom will come for a visit, i'll make sure to tell you which russian places to visit

You should go to a russian wedding once ( or any other russian ocassion in a russian restaurant)

it's a sit down dinner where the food keeps coming and coming non stop for about 5-6 hours.

you name it and it's on the table

seafood, steaks, chicken, salads, smoked fish, cold cuts shish kebab, lamb chops and etc and etc and etc......and no one ever is hungry because there are OVER 100 dishes that are being served.

Of course by the time they bring steaks and shish kebabs and etc you are already so full that there is no room in your stomach and most of the time all that hot food is wasted.

Russians love to eat and don't forget to drink

Everytime there is someone attending a russian party ( who is not russian) they are usually shocked with how much food is being served and wasted because no one can eat that much........but what's more shocking to them is that you are not limited to only fish or chicken and your money are well spent!

I'll attest to this! It's true! My soon-to-be in-laws stuffed me with so much food, I actually gained 10 lbs. from my last trip to Ukraine! I usually end up losing that weight! I told them the next time I visit and don't want to eat, to please not force me. They even sent food with me for the trip home. It came in handy when I had a 14 hour layover in Frankfurt and nothing was open!

Well, being stuffed at home is not the same as in the restaurants..........restaurants can make you gain much more than just 10lbs :)

if you know how they feed you at home, just imagine what restaurants do with their varieties and that food keep coming and coming and those poor waiters don't have a minute to breath

Edited April 14, 2007 by NYGirl

[JoeMama 0]

Well, being stuffed at home is not the same as in the restaurants..........restaurants can make you gain much more than just 10lbs :)

if you know how they feed you at home, just imagine what restaurants do with their varieties and that food keep coming and coming and those poor waiters don't have a minute to breath

Yes, I know about the restaurants. I have frequently patronized many Russian restaurants in Ukraine. I loved getting a shot of vodka before the meal! It had something to do with a holiday for men. It could have been for anything and I would've taken the shot of vodka! There's no comparison to good ol' Russian or Ukrainian vodka!

[NYGirl 0]

Well, being stuffed at home is not the same as in the restaurants..........restaurants can make you gain much more than just 10lbs :)

if you know how they feed you at home, just imagine what restaurants do with their varieties and that food keep coming and coming and those poor waiters don't have a minute to breath

Yes, I know about the restaurants. I have frequently patronized many Russian restaurants in Ukraine. I loved getting a shot of vodka before the meal! It had something to do with a holiday for men. It could have been for anything and I would've taken the shot of vodka! There's no comparison to good ol' Russian or Ukrainian vodka!

Once your fiance will arrive and will miss Odessa greatly, definitely bring her to NY, PM me, i will tell you where to take her exactly and both of you will feel as if you are back in ODESSA. GUARANTEE But be careful, she might request to move here if she loves being in Odessa

Holiday for men? That must be February 23rd holiday ( just like we have father's day here) but there it's for ALL MEN, not necessarily for dads only

Edited April 14, 2007 by NYGirl

[JoeMama 0]

Once your fiance will arrive and will miss Odessa greatly, definitely bring her to NY, PM me, i will tell you where to take her exactly and both of you will feel as if you are back in ODESSA. GUARANTEE But be careful, she might request to move here if she loves being in Odessa

Holiday for men? That must be February 23rd holiday ( just like we have father's day here) but there it's for ALL MEN, not necessarily for dads only

Yep. You're right. It was Feb. 23. I'll seriously keep your offer in mind about taking her to NY. I don't think she'll want to stay too long. She enjoys very warm weather and looks forward to basking in the California sun! We can stop there on our way back from Ukraine for a couple of days before heading on to SF. I'll contact you once she's got her visa in hand first! That's when I plan to make the travel arrangements. We still have some time to go.

[NYGirl 0]

Once your fiance will arrive and will miss Odessa greatly, definitely bring her to NY, PM me, i will tell you where to take her exactly and both of you will feel as if you are back in ODESSA. GUARANTEE But be careful, she might request to move here if she loves being in Odessa

Holiday for men? That must be February 23rd holiday ( just like we have father's day here) but there it's for ALL MEN, not necessarily for dads only

Yep. You're right. It was Feb. 23. I'll seriously keep your offer in mind about taking her to NY. I don't think she'll want to stay too long. She enjoys very warm weather and looks forward to basking in the California sun! We can stop there on our way back from Ukraine for a couple of days before heading on to SF. I'll contact you once she's got her visa in hand first! That's when I plan to make the travel arrangements. We still have some time to go.

Yeah, that's the beauty of CA is the warm weather comparing to NY.

It is still so cold in NY it feels that winter is coming

I gave few people some hints where to go and what to do once in NY, so feel free to PM me

I am taking on a tour around brooklyn one of the friends from VJ with their SO That member has been a GREAT help to me and I have to show my appreciation

[derekkj 0]

An update for those who remember or care! I finally got a chance to talk to the bride and apparently at least part of the reason for the tofu is that the groom and family is Jewish (my friend is in the process of converting) and they are keeping Kosher. They are having dairy during the evening (cheese course appetizer and ice cream/cake dessert) and are therefore not allowed to have any meat. Hence no chicken or beef. Didn't want to pry any further than that to find out why tofu instead of some sort of pasta or veggies, but at least it makes a little more sense now.

[pedroh 21]

oy, fish or tofu? LOL... well, even if she was a close friend, I wouldn't say anything, I'd stop by KFC or something like that and eat, and then just 'try' to eat at the wedding and 'oh well, im not hungry anymore'.. or keep food in the car and go grab a bite and go back (same as if they don't have the selection of liquors u like)..

lol, my wedding caterer was a lady who also caters for NASCAR, so we had a good ole' southern buffet in the reception.. mhmhmhm.. a big pot of mac and cheese just for me

[no name 1]

It's an odd and limited selection but in the end it's her wedding. I wouldn't ask for an alternative simply because she's probably got a lot of things going on with the wedding plans. Plus it's only 1 meal. Just eat before arriving or fill up on the side dishes or snacks.

IMHO, I think it's rude that you would ask for food for your hubby. He certainly won't starve over 1 meal.

[derekkj 0]

IMHO, I think it's rude that you would ask for food for your hubby. He certainly won't starve over 1 meal.

Well, as I mentioned earlier, I certainly know that it's her day and her menu. And Derek has already said that he didn't want me to say anything to her because he knows he can be a picky eater and yes, he can well afford to miss one meal. Fortunately there are going to be appetizers and a cheese course that he will enjoy. Not to mention cake! I was just most mystified by the whole tofu option, but when she said that they were keeping Kosher, I finally understood at least why there was no chicken/beef choise since that seems to be offered at most weddings nowadays.

Personally, I agree with Amanda that the reception is about your guests and making sure that they are getting what they want to eat/drink, are comfortable and enjoying themselves. IMHO, that's what being a good host is all about. I certainly didn't think it was rude when a few of my guests asked for a vegetarian option or when my sister-in-law asked for kid friendly meals for her two children. A quick call to my wonderful caterer and all was solved with absolutely no effort on my part. And most importantly all of my guests were happy. But to each their own.

lol, my wedding caterer was a lady who also caters for NASCAR, so we had a good ole' southern buffet in the reception.. mhmhmhm.. a big pot of mac and cheese just for me

Now that sounds like a wedding that Derek would have enjoyed going to!

[no name 1]

I certainly didn't think it was rude when a few of my guests asked for a vegetarian option or when my sister-in-law asked for kid friendly meals for her two children. A quick call to my wonderful caterer and all was solved with absolutely no effort on my part. And most importantly all of my guests were happy. But to each their own.

But that is different, it's a matter of them not being able to eat the meals (& kids meals are cheaper). Your hubby just didn't like it.

[homesick_american 1]

I certainly didn't think it was rude when a few of my guests asked for a vegetarian option or when my sister-in-law asked for kid friendly meals for her two children. A quick call to my wonderful caterer and all was solved with absolutely no effort on my part. And most importantly all of my guests were happy. But to each their own.

But that is different, it's a matter of them not being able to eat the meals (& kids meals are cheaper). Your hubby just didn't like it.

I didn't like the food at my brother's wedding, but I didn't tell him then and I never will.

[derekkj 0]

But that is different, it's a matter of them not being able to eat the meals (& kids meals are cheaper). Your hubby just didn't like it.

Hmm, but most of the vegetarians I know (including the ones who asked for a veggie meal at my wedding) don't eat meat because they don't like the taste or texture of it, not necessarily because they have an allergy or moral aversion to eating animals. And even if they did, what makes it OK for a vegetarian to ask for something different, but a carnivore has to suck it up? Shouldn't the veggie or allergy sufferer also be expected to keep quiet, not upset the bride and eat a lot of rolls or eat a big meal before or after the reception? I mean it's just one meal for them also.

And with the kids meal, if it's an issue of being rude even to ask for a different meal why should cost make any difference? What if someone who was willing to ask for something else also offers to pay for it as some other people on this thread suggested?

I am not trying to be snarky here or start an argument, especially with the vegetarian side of things. Just curious why veggies seem to get a pass on this issue.

Oh, and HA, I am most certainly never going to tell my friend that her choice of menu left a bit to be desired. As long as she is happy with her wedding, that's all that matters in the end!

[homesick_american 1]

Oh, and HA, I am most certainly never going to tell my friend that her choice of menu left a bit to be desired. As long as she is happy with her wedding, that's all that matters in the end!

I don't mean to offend but I think it is rather snarky to go on and on about the food at your friend's wedding. In the grand scheme of things, who cares about one meal?

For example, tonight for dinner I made couscous with grilled chicken and falafel. I didn't really like it, but I'm not going to let it ruin my week.

[no name 1]

Hmm, but most of the vegetarians I know (including the ones who asked for a veggie meal at my wedding) don't eat meat because they don't like the taste or texture of it, not necessarily because they have an allergy or moral aversion to eating animals. And even if they did, what makes it OK for a vegetarian to ask for something different, but a carnivore has to suck it up? Shouldn't the veggie or allergy sufferer also be expected to keep quiet, not upset the bride and eat a lot of rolls or eat a big meal before or after the reception? I mean it's just one meal for them also.

And with the kids meal, if it's an issue of being rude even to ask for a different meal why should cost make any difference? What if someone who was willing to ask for something else also offers to pay for it as some other people on this thread suggested?

I am not trying to be snarky here or start an argument, especially with the vegetarian side of things. Just curious why veggies seem to get a pass on this issue.

Oh, and HA, I am most certainly never going to tell my friend that her choice of menu left a bit to be desired. As long as she is happy with her wedding, that's all that matters in the end!

Most All vegetarians I know have issues with meat, not because of taste. Your husband doesn't like tofu or fish, it;'s not a moral issue. Also, it's a religious rule, so why not leave it be?

You say you will never tell your friend about it yet you go on & on about it in this thread? It's ONE MEAL, no one will die fro starvation.

Edited June 5, 2007 by devilette