Same sex marriage, parents want to visit the U.S.

[LuckyCloud 3]

Hi, my hubby and I have been married(same sex) for more than one year and I currently have a conditional green card.  Unfortunately my parents are not aware of this marriage due to the circumstances and we were being very honest about this during our green card interview to the IO. The IO seemed very understandable. My question is, if I want to bring my parents to the U.S. to visit, will they be asked about my marital status? Is there a way we can explain to the embassy officer about our situation so that they can be aware of this? I only want to take my parents to travel in the U.S. for a short amount of time since I can't see them in the majority of my time.  Thanks in advance!

[mallafri76 1,012]

I think it's important that your parents have all the information. That will ensure a higher rate of success in obtaining the tourist visa as well as entering the US. My parents visit on the VWP and CBP always asks for their purpose of visit. When they say that they're visiting their daughter, the follow up question is ALWAYS, oh what is she doing in the US. 

 

Just out of curiousity, how does your parents think you got to the US? 

[Dutchster 1,107]

I wonder too; don't your parents question how you received your green card? They can be asked the question "What is your son doing in the US?" by CBP if they mention visiting you. 

[LuckyCloud 3]

27 minutes ago, mallafri76 said:

I think it's important that your parents have all the information. That will ensure a higher rate of success in obtaining the tourist visa as well as entering the US. My parents visit on the VWP and CBP always asks for their purpose of visit. When they say that they're visiting their daughter, the follow up question is ALWAYS, oh what is she doing in the US. 

 

Just out of curiousity, how does your parents think you got to the US? 

Thanks for the information. I came to study in the U.S. and ended up getting a job here. Few years after I met my current partner and we got married. I do feel really sorry to my parents and I would please ask for no judgments(i know you weren't). Being a gay is not something I choose to be and therefore I'm trying my best, as a son, to make them happy on other things in life.

Edited June 13, 2017 by LuckyCloud

[LuckyCloud 3]

15 minutes ago, Dutchster said:

I wonder too; don't your parents question how you received your green card? They can be asked the question "What is your son doing in the US?" by CBP if they mention visiting you. 

I did come to study here in the U.S. and ended up getting a job first. I then met my spouse. 

[az2014 381]

7 minutes ago, LuckyCloud said:

Thanks for the information. I came to study in the U.S. and ended up getting a job here. Few years after I met my current partner and we got married. I do feel really sorry to my parents and I would please ask for no judgments(i know you weren't). Being a gay is not something I choose to be and therefore I'm trying my best, as a son, to make them happy on other things in life.

If your parents cannot accept you for who you are then making them happy would be last on my list of priorities in life.

[geowrian 22,338]

There's not really anything you can do in their tourist visa process. They have to apply and qualify completely on their own. The CO (or CBP later) may ask about any relatives in the US and what they're doing there. You won't have any way to reach the CO for their case (and even if you somehow could, it's their case so it's not like you can just add notes to somebody else's case).

 

I doubt the CO would ask about your marital status as it's not relevant to their visa, but nobody can say for sure that they definitely won't ask.

[NDB052714 122]

45 minutes ago, LuckyCloud said:

Hi, my hubby and I have been married(same sex) for more than one year and I currently have a conditional green card.  Unfortunately my parents are not aware of this marriage due to the circumstances and we were being very honest about this during our green card interview to the IO. The IO seemed very understandable. My question is, if I want to bring my parents to the U.S. to visit, will they be asked about my marital status? Is there a way we can explain to the embassy officer about our situation so that they can be aware of this? I only want to take my parents to travel in the U.S. for a short amount of time since I can't see them in the majority of my time.  Thanks in advance!

Hi! How do you intend to "bring" them here? And from what country? If it is a tourist visa you can't bring them here...they have to apply and be approved based on their own situation and ties to their country. And what country they're from may make the situation more complicated. First step I think is to be realistic about what's possible. Once you determine that then you can worry about the rest of the details. For example, I know that my spouse's parents would never be able to get a tourist visa to come here from Thailand. They just would never be able to prove strong ties to Thailand. Its sad, but that's the way it is. 

 

Good luck to you. 

[LuckyCloud 3]

Just now, NDB052714 said:

Hi! How do you intend to "bring" them here? And from what country? If it is a tourist visa you can't bring them here...they have to apply and be approved based on their own situation and ties to their country. And what country they're from may make the situation more complicated. First step I think is to be realistic about what's possible. Once you determine that then you can worry about the rest of the details. For example, I know that my spouse's parents would never be able to get a tourist visa to come here from Thailand. They just would never be able to prove strong ties to Thailand. Its sad, but that's the way it is. 

 

Good luck to you. 

Thanks for the info. Sorry I might use the terminology incorrectly. I meant to say to have them apply for tourist VISA. They both live in China, which is why it's difficulty for them to accept the ** culture. My parents have came here once before on tourist VISA when I was in school. Sorry to hear about your in-law's situations tho. 

[NDB052714 122]

2 minutes ago, LuckyCloud said:

Thanks for the info. Sorry I might use the terminology incorrectly. I meant to say to have them apply for tourist VISA. They both live in China, which is why it's difficulty for them to accept the ** culture. My parents have came here once before on tourist VISA when I was in school. Sorry to hear about your in-law's situations tho. 

Well if they've received a tourist visa before then they'll likely be able to secure another one. Seems to me that you have to decide for yourself the best way to handle your personal situation with your family, but I think the advice you've received already is sound...be honest with them so there's no appearance of attempted deception as your family goes about securing their visas. It is a painful and stressful situation, I know.   

[Mollie09 1,543]

The consulate can see how you received your green card, and it might be asked during the interview. Them not knowing the correct answer could make it sound like they're lying to a CO which doesn't bode well for their application.

[NYCruiser 423]

We are a same sex couple too, from a homophobic country in Africa (albeit not as bad as others there). His parents also 'don't know' how he got here. (mothers always do I say). The Embassy does a check on all relatives in the USA from the name, so unfortunately, they will find out how you came here. Sorry to say, but if your parents say you are single and (you are not), that will be fraud in the eyes of the Consular Officer. Very tricky situation indeed. 

If you feel this will be an issue with your parents, I wouldn't bring them here. How about a third party country to meet them there? 

[databit 328]

You should tell them now, and see if they still want to visit...!

[ConOfficer 167]

11 hours ago, Mollie09 said:

The consulate can see how you received your green card, and it might be asked during the interview. Them not knowing the correct answer could make it sound like they're lying to a CO which doesn't bode well for their application.

Nobody will take the time to do this.

 

Interviews in China take 90 seconds and the refusal rate is very low, for older people that have already had a visa they must refuse less than 1%. I don't see any issue here at all. This interview would be over for me after two questions and I would say yes. 

[JessieRC 8]

Sorry to hear your dilemma, OP. A bit off the topic but I would like to give my two cents. I'm from China, too and totally understand your worries. I don't know if you are their only child, nonetheless I think they deserve a chance to try to understand you for being who you are and accept your partner into their son's life. If you never try you will never know. With the globalization going on in the recent decade and everything, perhaps your parents would actually be more mentally prepared than you think. Perhaps they are already aware of something. Eventually I think your parents will come around and understand instead of losing one son, they can actually have two!

Edited June 14, 2017 by JessieRC