Gay Couple & Conservative parents

[amul 229]

12 minutes ago, Jordan8768 said:

We live in a modern society and sexuality is part of that. It has nothing to do with your parents as you are consenting adults and all of that other stuff. This in no way will effect your case so don't worry! 

This is a country specific issue -- unlike UK, Laos (like India) is a patriarchal society with large close knit families --  most of the families live together for generations! Family is everything and not having their support is a red flag. Not one that will stop the train on its own, but one that will draw attention for sure. 

 

Reality is that some of us have it harder 😅

Edited June 5, 2017 by amul

[Jordan8768 107]

2 minutes ago, amul said:

This is a country specific issue -- unlike UK, Laos (like India) is a patriarchal society with large close knit families --  most of the families live together for generations! Family is everything and not having their support is a red flag. Not one that will stop the train on its own, but one that will draw attention for sure. 

 

Reality is that some of us have it harder 😅

I apologize. I didn't mean my comment in a bashing way but meant that in the US no one is going to knock you down for not having family support. 

 

Im an ignorant Brit. I'm sorry haha

Edited June 5, 2017 by Jordan8768

[amul 229]

Just now, Jordan8768 said:

I apologize. I didn't mean my comment in a bashing way but meant that in the US no one is going to knock you down for not having family support. 

Oh noooo -- I totally got where you are coming from. No worries at all 😉

 

I can relate to the OP as my original family (just like my hubby's) is also from a tight knit society. We are under tremendous pressure (from society, family and USCIS) because we are marrying out of the traditional norms. 

 

Still, here we are! 💪🏽🙌🏽

[Jordan8768 107]

Just now, amul said:

Oh noooo -- I totally got where you are coming from. No worries at all 😉

 

I can relate to the OP as my original family (just like my hubby's) is also from a tight knit society. We are under tremendous pressure (from society, family and USCIS) because we are marrying out of the traditional norms. 

 

Still, here we are! 💪🏽🙌🏽

You should be proud of yourself! As long as you're happy that's all that matters! 

 

Good luck with your journey and be sure to correct any of my ignorance haha 

[amul 229]

5 minutes ago, Jordan8768 said:

Im an ignorant Brit. I'm sorry haha

Hahaha, nah, all is well!

 

But just this one time, I wish I had your view point. I'm not looking forward to being grilled at the New Delhi embassy with hubby. 🤢😅😝

 

 

[Jordan8768 107]

1 minute ago, amul said:

Hahaha, nah, all is well!

 

But just this one time, I wish I had your view point. I'm not looking forward to being grilled at the New Delhi embassy with hubby. 🤢😅😝

 

 

I'm sure you do and I wish I could give it to you! I'm just lucky as to where I am from but regardless of where you are from as long as you're relationship is real and you tell the truth it'll all go well. 

 

Preparation is key. 

[amul 229]

2 minutes ago, Jordan8768 said:

You should be proud of yourself! As long as you're happy that's all that matters! 

 

Good luck with your journey and be sure to correct any of my ignorance haha 

The thing is, we also want our families happy, but accept the facts. Facts are, only you can make yourself happy, thus we keep on trucking. 

 

Hahaha, no worries at all, it's not ignorance really -- we all

learn from each other! 🙌🏽

[amul 229]

2 minutes ago, Jordan8768 said:

I'm sure you do and I wish I could give it to you! I'm just lucky as to where I am from but regardless of where you are from as long as you're relationship is real and you tell the truth it'll all go well. 

 

Preparation is key. 

Awww the thought counts! Many thanks 🙌🏽

 

Yassss, be prepared and stay truthful. That's what we got going! 😉

[Jordan8768 107]

1 minute ago, amul said:

The thing is, we also want our families happy, but accept the facts. Facts are, only you can make yourself happy, thus we keep on trucking. 

 

Hahaha, no worries at all, it's not ignorance really -- we all

learn from each other! 🙌🏽

Exactly and the fact you are happy is what matters and the officer is looking for that and obviously will see that from you. 

[IAMX 3,055]

My oldest sister (of my two sisters, she's the oldest (born in 87, I was born in 82), but both are younger than me) dealt with something similar but not in an immigration scenario. She's bisexual, and when she brought her girlfriend to visit with our mother at the same time I brought my wife (this was like Christmas 2010'ish), mother flipped out. She's Baptist Christian (my sister was atheist, now she's Pagan/Wiccan, I used to be Presbyterian, then I was an atheist, then agnostic, where I likely will be the rest of my life), and her and I used to go at it many many times, not only due to her religious ignorance, but because she was always judgmental of my sister while being lenient upon me.. I was the protector of my sister so I'd nearly always get on mother's case to stop being so harsh on her.

 

When it came down to it, mother accepted the girl into her house, but hardly addressed the girl, made for quite an uncomfortable scenario. When her and I talked to mother just all three of us, she was so into her own beliefs.. like it had anything to do with my sister. I tried telling mother over and over again nobody is trying to change her beliefs, but that my sister has every right to pick someone who she wants to be with, and that accepting your daughter doesn't mean throwing your beliefs away.

 

Unfortunately some people are impossible to convince. I spent much of my childhood trying to convince people to back off my sister (coercive or otherwise, I remember in elementary school having my first suspension knocking a kids teeth out for calling my sister, who is half black, and was dark when she was young, but wouldn't be able to tell she's mixed now, a n***er in earshot of me) when it came to piercings, tattoos, her friends, her dress style, the movies she watches, and so on.. family was ridiculously hypercritical of her. So both of us have our own partners now without the consent of mother, without a care in the world what she thinks. There's even more to it (where things ended very very badly for us and mother) but that's possibly for another discussion.

 

Hell, my own mother in law (born in Laos, but is Chinese, Thai, Lao, etc.) hates Americans, told me how much she hates white people, flipped out on how I wouldn't allow her to forced on my daughter all this Buddhist jewelry and Buddhist style baptism, so I ultimately found myself in conflict with her, we moved from Ontario to Alberta without even consulting her. She's now virtually out of the picture with an exception to once or twice a month when my wife calls her.

 

Bottom line is, your own approval of your partner(s) is all that's needed. It's nice to have the approval of others, but it should not be a necessity whatsoever.

Edited June 5, 2017 by IAMX

[David & Diana R 1,005]

19 hours ago, Hope&Love said:

My USC partner whose parents are very conservative. They refused to accept our marriage as well as their son. However, my parents are very supportive of us. We have tons of bona fide proofs of our marriage: Car loan, car & health insurance, bank accounts, friends & my side family photos, travel documents. 

My Question is: How do we present our marriage in the AOS interview, now we have conservative parents?

 

Side note: This goes out to gay and straight relationships as well. I know straight couples whose parents don't expect foreign spouse. -  help

Your parents have nothing to do with this.

[Andrea&Henry 311]

Just because the parents don't approve a relationship has absolutely nothing to do with it legitimize. Your marriage is real and legal despite other people's opinion. If the CO ask you why noone was there (I highly doubt it because the person might assume the answer) just tell the truth. Unfortunately, there are still families who dont support their children sexual orientation and that not uncommon or a lie. It is what it is. That's why I highly doubt the Co is going to go there.

 

When I married my husband is what on a courthouse just him and I, (my family couldn't travel, my mom in law passed away a year prior and my father in law was in a business trip. Just my hubby and I, then we went to dennys to have breakfast and that's it. 

 

 

[NYCruiser 423]

Hello, we are a same-sex couple from a country in Africa. His parents don't know (we think). They love me, but would that love 'go away' if they knew we are a couple? Neither of us wants to find out, so its don't tell.....LOL.

The K1 or CR1 process or AOS does not hinge on acceptance by either parents, so not to worry. We actually had an interview waiver for the AOS so I cannot say if it will come up. IF it does, just be honest. Immigration Officers are very smart and they know these things.