VISITING BOYFRIEND ON ESTA

[3rd 84]

39 minutes ago, Megmarcus said:

Yes I think I will definitely file for this as you really don't know. I was here in January and my gran passed away while here so I wouldn't want to risk it. Just when you say about getting married in vegas I wondered if I am able to travel America with internal flights? Would immigration question me as to why I didn't leave after my two weeks ? I know this is irrelevant to the topic but just when you mentioned vegas I thought I'd ask lol 

 

I was actually out of status when we travelled to Vegas to get married. There was no problems travelling domestically as I wasn't leaving the country, but I do advise to get married ASAP as I was a complete nervous wreck going anywhere or doing anything. If I could go back and just have a courthouse wedding and have been in status going to Vegas it would have been a lot less stress.

[Megmar0616 11]

8 minutes ago, 3rd said:

 

I was actually out of status when we travelled to Vegas to get married. There was no problems travelling domestically as I wasn't leaving the country, but I do advise to get married ASAP as I was a complete nervous wreck going anywhere or doing anything. If I could go back and just have a courthouse wedding and have been in status going to Vegas it would have been a lot less stress.

So did you start all this before your 90days were up? Or did you stay over the 90das and then begin the process 

[3rd 84]

I was already over my 90 days before we got married. In fact I was 2 months over before we got married, then we applied for AOS about a month after that as we had to get a co-sponsor.

[caliliving 606]

people AOS from a tourist visa everyday.. i overstayed and got married and even waited 2 years to file for AOS and had no problems. nothing about my overstay was brought up at the interview bc it is IRRELEVANT and that point all they care about is that you are in a legitimate marriage.

i also traveled throughout this time and you will be fine.  

intent is given at POE so you are fine to get married.. HOWEVER you can not leave until you have that AP in your hand and i didnt leave until i had my greencard.. so if something comes up and you leave, you have to spend more money and you will have to do a CR1 visa which could take a YEAR!!! plus you dont want to overstay and LEAVE! but yeah you can overstay and stay in the country.  

 

 

[QueenComley 295]

You should be fine to stay, marry and AOS. I came over on an ESTA and was staying for 90 days. In that time we knew we wanted to be together but did not know the legalities of it. So we paid to see an immigration attorney who explained the K1 and CR1 options. We decided on the CR1, married and I was then going to return back to the UK to file.  A week before I was due to fly back to the UK my lawyer called me and told me to stay and AOS. I never even knew that was a possibility back then. It took me and my husband a year to save for the process so I was out of status during that time. I got my immigration attorney to file all our paperwork (but you can do all this easily yourself). The AOS interview was harmless. No mention of my overstay. No questioning if I had entered with intent (which there absolutely was not). My interview was 5 mins max and I was approved my green card on the spot. We have been together 6 years now.

[Megmar0616 11]

Thank you for all your information. You all make it sound so simple lol. This website seems very helpful. I always just assumed for a visa you would have to apply from your own country so it is good to know that there is a way of doing it and being able to stay together. From all the information this seems to be the best option. And maybe the K1 if I was back in the UK. Very useful to know that an attorney even suggested staying and applying for AOS too. I just have to really look into the step by step guide now and start gathering all the evidence we need.

[Prystine 184]

Keep in mind that if you have things you need to take care of back in your country, ie. job, car, house, family matters, etc...staying and adjusting may not be the best option for you as you won't be able to leave the country until you get either AP or your Greencard and while getting approved for AP, there is no guarantee that they will let you back into the country when traveling on it. 

 

Everyone here understands not wanting to be separated from their significant other but one can't just forget their responsibilities that need to be taken care of properly. If you have such items to deal with, then either the K1 or CR1 visa would be a better option to allow you to take care of those things while going through the visa process and you can still visit while doing so. Please read the guides here and do your due diligence for what logically is going to be the best option in the long run. 

[caliliving 606]

1 hour ago, Prystine said:

Keep in mind that if you have things you need to take care of back in your country, ie. job, car, house, family matters, etc...staying and adjusting may not be the best option for you as you won't be able to leave the country until you get either AP or your Greencard and while getting approved for AP, there is no guarantee that they will let you back into the country when traveling on it. 

 

Everyone here understands not wanting to be separated from their significant other but one can't just forget their responsibilities that need to be taken care of properly. If you have such items to deal with, then either the K1 or CR1 visa would be a better option to allow you to take care of those things while going through the visa process and you can still visit while doing so. Please read the guides here and do your due diligence for what logically is going to be the best option in the long run. 

Do r scare the guy! Unless he needs to go back to the UK stay and aos...its the easiest option and takea the least amount of time. It's a no brainer! You are already here just do it and get it over with now! A k1 is essentially a visa to get back in the country you would still have to do the paperwork.

 

And yes, even a lawyer would suggest doing the greenvatd now. 

[Pennycat 880]

2 minutes ago, caliliving said:

Do r scare the guy! Unless he needs to go back to the UK stay and aos...its the easiest option and takea the least amount of time. It's a no brainer! You are already here just do it and get it over with now! A k1 is essentially a visa to get back in the country you would still have to do the paperwork.

 

And yes, even a lawyer would suggest doing the greenvatd now. 

The issue is that someone who doesn't know anything about any of these processes (like OP here) might not realize that they're stuck in the US until AOS is processed, and no one has really touched on that yet. It's nothing like the K1 process because people coming in on the K1 come in with one-way tickets and a plan to marry, stay and adjust. They've made preparations to be away from home either permanently or for the next 6 months. Folks coming in for a two week visit do NOT have the plan to marry, stay and adjust (right? Or if you think they DO have the plan to marry, stay and adjust do you think they're all committing fraud?).

 

So if someone going on a two week vacation still has a job, house, car etc back home (obviously not everyone does, the sheer number of people who are able to do this), then they need to be aware that they won't be able to get back to those things for a while. Even if they got married tomorrow and submitted the AOS paperwork the same day (not possible-- need to wait for marriage certificate and medicals), they're looking at least 2 months processing, but in reality, it's over 3. Add in the time to get married, get the certificate and get the paperwork in order to file (2 weeks minimum), the amount of time waiting for NOA1 (another 1 or 2) and suddenly we're talking real time here.

 

And if they go back NOW to close up shop at home, and come BACK with the intention to VWP- AOS route, well... we can't advise that there, right?

 

I don't see anything wrong in pointing out a potential blind spot in an otherwise fine plan. I'd hate to be told "just marry, stay and adjust" constantly, do it, only to find out later that I'm stuck in the US and if I leave I'll need a spouse visa.

[3rd 84]

1 hour ago, CatherineA said:

The issue is that someone who doesn't know anything about any of these processes (like OP here) might not realize that they're stuck in the US until AOS is processed, and no one has really touched on that yet. It's nothing like the K1 process because people coming in on the K1 come in with one-way tickets and a plan to marry, stay and adjust. They've made preparations to be away from home either permanently or for the next 6 months. Folks coming in for a two week visit do NOT have the plan to marry, stay and adjust (right? Or if you think they DO have the plan to marry, stay and adjust do you think they're all committing fraud?).

 

So if someone going on a two week vacation still has a job, house, car etc back home (obviously not everyone does, the sheer number of people who are able to do this), then they need to be aware that they won't be able to get back to those things for a while. Even if they got married tomorrow and submitted the AOS paperwork the same day (not possible-- need to wait for marriage certificate and medicals), they're looking at least 2 months processing, but in reality, it's over 3. Add in the time to get married, get the certificate and get the paperwork in order to file (2 weeks minimum), the amount of time waiting for NOA1 (another 1 or 2) and suddenly we're talking real time here.

 

And if they go back NOW to close up shop at home, and come BACK with the intention to VWP- AOS route, well... we can't advise that there, right?

 

I don't see anything wrong in pointing out a potential blind spot in an otherwise fine plan. I'd hate to be told "just marry, stay and adjust" constantly, do it, only to find out later that I'm stuck in the US and if I leave I'll need a spouse visa.

It's not that no one is choosing to point this out, but more that staying and adjusting is the only way for them to be together going forward while the OP is still in the country under the VWP. I was fortunate enough that I had planned a much larger travel plan before deciding to adjust and stay, but that doesn't mean we didn't think of the other options. We spoke to an immigration lawyer just to make sure we weren't reading anything wrong and that adjusting was something we could do. 

 

Yes, not everyone has the luxury of choosing to stay, adjust, and figure out their life back in their home country later. But, as long as the OP doesn't have any pressing things like a job, animal, or even rental agreements to contest with then it's a no-brainer. I was still paying my car payments on a car I wasn't using until February of this year, so there are definitely downsides to just upping and leaving your entire life behind. The biggest one for me being that I didn't say 'goodbye' to my family, and between coming over in February 2015 to getting my Greencard, it felt like an eternity to being able to visit them again.

[Pennycat 880]

1 minute ago, 3rd said:

It's not that no one is choosing to point this out, but more that staying and adjusting is the only way for them to be together going forward while the OP is still in the country under the VWP. I was fortunate enough that I had planned a much larger travel plan before deciding to adjust and stay, but that doesn't mean we didn't think of the other options. We spoke to an immigration lawyer just to make sure we weren't reading anything wrong and that adjusting was something we could do. 

 

Yes, not everyone has the luxury of choosing to stay, adjust, and figure out their life back in their home country later. But, as long as the OP doesn't have any pressing things like a job, animal, or even rental agreements to contest with then it's a no-brainer. I was still paying my car payments on a car I wasn't using until February of this year, so there are definitely downsides to just upping and leaving your entire life behind. The biggest one for me being that I didn't say 'goodbye' to my family, and between coming over in February 2015 to getting my Greencard, it felt like an eternity to being able to visit them again.

Right, I realize that. The person I was replying to was reading Prystine's advice as a scare tactic against marrying, staying and adjusting. No one had pointed out, explicitly, that OP needs to really take into account the timeline and restrictions involved in this path (which is the easiest way to stay with the boyfriend, but might not be the easiest way overall depending on OP's circumstances). I personally think that Prystine was just looking out for OP's best interests and to make sure all bases were covered.

 

So many times, we forget what it's like to be new to all this or to not know anything about the process. How many times do we get people on here with real and serious problems that were the result of "well, everyone told me that XYZ was ok". A lot of people just go with what they hear, either from friends or from VJ and then are surprised to encounter what (to us) are obvious results. In my time here (almost three years), I've seen a lot go wrong for a lot of people. I think it's only right to make things clear for newbies and let them make their own decision on what fits best for their circumstances, not just say "just marry, stay and adjust, it's best, fastest, you'll be fine", and totally leave out the "but you can't leave the country for the next several months" part, which can be a big downside, or even deal-breaker for some.

 

Remember, a lot of newbies think that marrying is a magic wand and it's all automatic! I certainly did at first-- I actually pictured getting married on the beach in Costa Rica, going to the embassy with my passport and my husband and saying "ok we're married, now what"  . 

[3rd 84]

46 minutes ago, CatherineA said:

Right, I realize that. The person I was replying to was reading Prystine's advice as a scare tactic against marrying, staying and adjusting. No one had pointed out, explicitly, that OP needs to really take into account the timeline and restrictions involved in this path (which is the easiest way to stay with the boyfriend, but might not be the easiest way overall depending on OP's circumstances). I personally think that Prystine was just looking out for OP's best interests and to make sure all bases were covered.

 

So many times, we forget what it's like to be new to all this or to not know anything about the process. How many times do we get people on here with real and serious problems that were the result of "well, everyone told me that XYZ was ok". A lot of people just go with what they hear, either from friends or from VJ and then are surprised to encounter what (to us) are obvious results. In my time here (almost three years), I've seen a lot go wrong for a lot of people. I think it's only right to make things clear for newbies and let them make their own decision on what fits best for their circumstances, not just say "just marry, stay and adjust, it's best, fastest, you'll be fine", and totally leave out the "but you can't leave the country for the next several months" part, which can be a big downside, or even deal-breaker for some.

 

Remember, a lot of newbies think that marrying is a magic wand and it's all automatic! I certainly did at first-- I actually pictured getting married on the beach in Costa Rica, going to the embassy with my passport and my husband and saying "ok we're married, now what"  . 

Oh definitely, I mean I came into this not even knowing we were going to get married and then suddenly I'm staying and having to navigate a world of paperwork that I was very hesitant on. I have to go through ROC at the end of the year and I'm already dreading the process knowing how much I stressed myself out taking on the AOS forms. I knew immigration was not going to be a walk in the park, but after we'd decided we wanted to be together the thought of parting was truly gut wrenching. 

 

As for the OP, you just have to have a think about what will work best for your situation. There's no 'easy way' in this journey, they all come with their pitfalls. You just have to work to whether you can stay and adjust while not being able to visit family/friends in a good length of time (also not being able to work was a big downside for me that I didn't realise would have such an impact on my mental health), and if you can potentially do that if you have a job to go back to or other interests that need to be tied up. A K-1 will have you spend less time apart if you choose to go home, but then you'll have to marry in 90 days and fill out the AOS paperwork while having the same hurdles as if you'd stayed and adjusted. Then there's also the CR-1, marry and go home and tie up any loose ends, this takes the longest but your a Legal Permanent Resident upon entering the United States so AOS is all baked in. There are plenty of options, you just need to take the one that's best for you and your future.

[Megmar0616 11]

I appreciate all your comments. We obviously won't just jump into anything we have to sit and go through it all. I have a lot of research to do and millions of questions that's why I joined this site, to get advice from people who have been in the same type of situation. 

[Prystine 184]

On 6/2/2017 at 9:42 AM, caliliving said:

Do r scare the guy! Unless he needs to go back to the UK stay and aos...its the easiest option and takea the least amount of time. It's a no brainer! You are already here just do it and get it over with now! A k1 is essentially a visa to get back in the country you would still have to do the paperwork.

 

And yes, even a lawyer would suggest doing the greenvatd now. 

I'm not trying to scare the OP, but I want them to be very aware of the limits it puts on them if they do get married and AOS right now. Not many people can just up and leave their entire life behind in be in limbo for months before they can get things handled. They need to be realistic in all their options, and what those choices mean. Just because you can stay, get married and adjust doesn't mean its the most realistic choice long term not just what is the "easiest" right this minute. It affects so much more then just this moment when making these kinds of decisions. 

[Megmar0616 11]

Hi everyone I'm not sure if you will still get notifications from this as it's been a couple of weeks since I was here. My boyfriend and I have been doing a lot of thinking and want to go ahead with the marriage and adjustment of status. We have spent so much time together that we don't want to be apart and marriage is in our plans anyway so why not do it now.. for the application do we have to fill the forms out on the computer and print them or can they be hand written? What should be included in the cover letters and what would you recommend as good evidence of the relationship? Obviously I have a lot of questions but just start with a few for now lol.