Does the USC spouse need to attend interview

[Redheadguy03 505]

8 minutes ago, MCSmooth said:

He came 2 weeks later. So what if I agree I should have not opposed and agree to him staying An extra 2 weeks. Should my behavior made him change his mind about me and get so angry? And if my opposition did change his mind about me and he no longer loved me and wanted to marry me should he have come to the States? Did he then commit marriage fraud? 

If he knew he didn't want to marry you before he arrived in the states then yes, I believe that's fraud. (I'm obviously not a lawyer). Proving it, however, is going to be somewhat difficult unless you have a ton of evidence.

Look at it from an outside perspective it's kind of like he said she said. Doesn't mean we don't believe you, just that's what immigration will probably say.

 

One thing I'd recommend if you two communicate at all do it via text that way you have actual proof vs a phone call it only proves you talked not what was actually said. 

 

Good luck and definitely keep us updated! 

[MCSmooth 4]

1 hour ago, Auds said:

 

I would have thought you would be shocked to learn that you were wrong on timelines for visa!  Its just been brushed away.  Leaving one's job and taking a month without work to say bye is completely normal - unfortunately that's not how you see it as per your own post.  Your first post on this section sadly reeks of control, superiority and being unable to see that with this 'first' issue that changed things you were wrong.

 

the 'go figure' comment too is a vague assumptive accusation, as someone pointed perhaps dont weaken your position of where you are right by posting on the web.

 

it does seem with the timeline that this was pre-planned and you dont want to dilute that.

 

I never stated I know everything. If I did I would not be on this site. Me and my then fiancé talked and texted nearly everyday. He was MIA for a couple days and did not return my calls. I know it's just 2 days but he would get upset with me if I didn't contact him or try everyday. Then 3 days after he quit his job he as a matter of fact told me. I said why are you not at work right now and he says oh I quit 3 days ago. Meaning I talked to him 3 days ago and he never told me he quit. He is also an alpha male. I could not get true to him and he never saw my viewpoint once he got here. He has a very bad temper. I had to litterally pull him away with all my strength once so he wouldn't fight this guy. I could never control him. Which was fine with me because I didn't want to. I guess some people may feel I deserved what I got and he needed to leave me like this because he didn't stay home for one month. I thought true love was stronger than that. 

[amul 229]

4 minutes ago, MCSmooth said:

He came 2 weeks later. So what if I agree I should have not opposed and agree to him staying An extra 2 weeks. Should my behavior made him change his mind about me and get so angry? And if my opposition did change his mind about me and he no longer loved me and wanted to marry me should he have come to the States? Did he then commit marriage fraud? 

You "pressing" him and him cutting his 4 weeks of goodbyes down to 2 weeks does not warrant his sudden change of behavior. 

 

Once he got his visa, his way of treating you has changed, he was angry, short and was no longer available (you could not reach him nor did he seek to speak with you as you guys used to in the past). 

 

A lot of great advice has been given to you by the seasoned VJers -- please do not procrastinate, do this now!

 

One thing I want to add is, if I were you:

1. I would not allow him in the house (would have changed my locks yesterday!)

2. I would not talk to him on the phone, would not text him or email him, if he does, ignore, but save everything

3. I would under no circumstance discuss my plans - divorce or pulling the AOS with him or anyone from his side

4. If he comes over, I would not allow him in. I would go as far as calling the police to have him removed if does not leave. 

 

As a woman, you must be diligent. He knows your routine, so be aware of your surroundings! When someone (especially someone who can physically harm me) acts very strange, hostile out of character, angry, I always err on the side of caution. Try not to freak out, but expect anything, plan for everything, stay silent and do your thing!

 

File those papers, pull the AOS, change the locks, go spend some time with a loved one that can envelop you with love, breath, find your ground and then move on!

 

Sending you lots of good juju! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[amul 229]

3 minutes ago, MCSmooth said:

IHe is also an alpha male.  He has a very bad temper. I had to litterally pull him away with all my strength once so he wouldn't fight this guy. I could never control him

Just to add, a real alpha male is dominant and always in control. You won't find a real alpha male foaming at the mouth every five steps, it takes a lot to push his buttons because he keeps himself balanced and picks his battles. 

 

This guy sports a lousy temper, is out of control and is not the man you deserve. 

[MCSmooth 4]

6 minutes ago, amul said:

You "pressing" him and him cutting his 4 weeks of goodbyes down to 2 weeks does not warrant his sudden change of behavior. 

 

Once he got his visa, his way of treating you has changed, he was angry, short and was no longer available (you could not reach him nor did he seek to speak with you as you guys used to in the past). 

 

A lot of great advice has been given to you by the seasoned VJers -- please do not procrastinate, do this now!

 

One thing I want to add is, if I were you:

1. I would not allow him in the house (would have changed my locks yesterday!)

2. I would not talk to him on the phone, would not text him or email him, if he does, ignore, but save everything

3. I would under no circumstance discuss my plans - divorce or pulling the AOS with him or anyone from his side

4. If he comes over, I would not allow him in. I would go as far as calling the police to have him removed if does not leave. 

 

As a woman, you must be diligent. He knows your routine, so be aware of your surroundings! When someone (especially someone who can physically harm me) acts very strange, hostile out of character, angry, I always err on the side of caution. Try not to freak out, but expect anything, plan for everything, stay silent and do your thing!

 

File those papers, pull the AOS, change the locks, go spend some time with a loved one that can envelop you with love, breath, find your ground and then move on!

 

Sending you lots of good juju! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Honestly he has completely moved on. It was easy for him to ignore me and not communicate because he has someone else. Thank you for your advice. 

[amul 229]

6 minutes ago, MCSmooth said:

Honestly he has completely moved on. It was easy for him to ignore me and not communicate because he has someone else. Thank you for your advice. 

He has moved on because he thinks he has gotten away with it. Once he senses that his new life might be at stake, you might see a new side to him. Hopefully not, but I have seen people in action. When desperate, I have witnessed first hand the lengths someone can go...

[Scandi 4,166]

I don't know if you have an interview date yet.. If not, you should be aware that the AOS can be approved without interview when you adjust status from a K-1. This means that his greencard can be approved today and you will be on the hook for the i-864. So this might be a very urgent issue to take care of. 

[ank 17]

Your one-sided story is very touchy. We don't know the other side of it. As an woman, I will never marry a man 15 years younger as it involves more risks than normal marriage. Other reason that I cant keep him together for long.

It is my personal opinion. Please forgive me if I sounded like rude,unsympathetic or not agreeable   

[amul 229]

15 minutes ago, ank said:

Your one-sided story is very touchy. We don't know the other side of it. As an woman, I will never marry a man 15 years younger as it involves more risks than normal marriage. Other reason that I cant keep him together for long.

It is my personal opinion. Please forgive me if I sounded like rude,unsympathetic or not agreeable   

For ladies with younger hubbies, do not let this trigger you. As if the proper age keeps people together, happy or loyal to each other. 

 

Besides that, the OP was mostly interested in visa/interview related advice. Let us not kick someone who is down at this point.

[Ontarkie 14,236]

~~Moved to Major Effects on Family, from AOS - As this is the forum for similar topics~~

[ank 17]

Improper age is definite red flag in the eyes of USCIS. I wonder how their visas get approved.  

[MCSmooth 4]

20 minutes ago, ank said:

Your one-sided story is very touchy. We don't know the other side of it. As an woman, I will never marry a man 15 years younger as it involves more risks than normal marriage. Other reason that I cant keep him together for long.

It is my personal opinion. Please forgive me if I sounded like rude,unsympathetic or not agreeable   

I'm not perfect. I made mistakes. I have a bad habit of speaking without thinking first and I'm blunt. When he verbalized how unhappy he was being with me and his regret coming here I would quickly tell him he could go back home now or he could leave. I swear all I stated is true. I forgave him so many times for horrible things he did so why couldn't he forgive me for my words? You don't sound rude. When some people questioned his age and whether he only wanted a gc I would vehemently defend him. How dumb of me. No I will not consider being with someone so young again.  Thank you 

[amul 229]

Just now, ank said:

Improper age is definite red flag in the eyes of USCIS. I wonder how their visas get approved.  

Large age gaps are red flags for sure, especially for some countries. She did mention 8 visits, so it is probable that the face time spent really helped. Maybe his family was also involved, which can boost things up as well.

 

Large age gap by itself is not a reason to be denied, though it definitely makes the journey a tad rougher.

 

 

[MCSmooth 4]

2 minutes ago, ank said:

Improper age is definite red flag in the eyes of USCIS. I wonder how their visas get approved.  

The k-1 visa interview was smooth and easy. They believed we loved each other. I was actually there and they did not even question me. In Jamaica my husband was so intelligent, respectful, charming, understanding and loving. I think the interviewer saw those qualities in him too. She joked with him several times. I don't believe age alone is as important as people think to USCIS. 

[ank 17]

Just now, MCSmooth said:

The k-1 visa interview was smooth and easy. They believed we loved each other. I was actually there and they did not even question me. In Jamaica my husband was so intelligent, respectful, charming, understanding and loving. I think the interviewer saw those qualities in him too. She joked with him several times. I don't believe age alone is as important as people think to USCIS. 

Going through your posts, I feel you still love him so much. I definitely can feel the emotions you are going through. You see all your efforts,plans,time and memories meaningless.  VJ is full of incidents like that. 

I guess he saw you as an opportunity to come to USA. Best thing that you can do is forgive him and move on. Let the God deal with him. In life, there are times when you go through these things for nothing wrong from your side. Then, We always learn from our past.