Does the USC spouse need to attend interview

[Jawaree 718]

Sis chalk it up experience dont let hate overcome although i.t hurts,

pull your  affidavit of support by going into infopass, seemigly a

scammer ...sic ICE on him & move on with your life,,,,good riddance

Its not a culture that males make an older woman a wife most times

usually its for a benefit,,,,bleaa ip

[Elsalove2016 34]

Is it posible she can go to the interview with him and tell the officer in person all the horrible things this man has done to her ? I'm very sorry to hear about what happen to you , I have been through something similar in the past and nobody should ever go through something like this . Good luck with everything . 

Edited May 31, 2017 by Elsalove2016

[Auds 223]

Nothing to add technically, except chin up to you.  One day this will be water under the bridge.

[Dashinka 24,529]

3 hours ago, geowrian said:

He cannot AOS on the basis of marriage without the I-864 from her spouse (barring VAWA, but then that also needs to prove abuse). The I-864 from the USC spouse is a required document...proving a good faith marriage alone is not sufficient.

You are correct.  I was referring to him trying to AOS using VAWA.  Hence the importance of pulling the I864 immediately.

[Tanish 197]

10 hours ago, MCSmooth said:

I feel like I have nothing but revenge.  He took my self-respect, my confidence and my pride, everything.  I know you are right. thanks for your advice. 

Your self-respect, pride, confidence are not the things someone can destroy or take away unless you let them. Be head strong. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. The mistake you made is not as terrible as you feel it is. This is just a phase. It will pass.

 

Learn something from this experience and it will benefit you. Good luck with your life ahead.

 

A quick side note: [Don't take it the wrong way that I'm favoring your spouse, but] Being a beneficiary myself, I know how hard it is to just up and leave your whole family and country behind. It takes a little time to completely leave behind the life that we have lived up till that point. We also want to be with our spouse, but there are many things to take care of before migrating to a new country. It takes a little time. Not everyone is lucky to be able to migrate in just 10-15 days. You should take a note of that as well for any future reference should you require.

 

I also had the same argument with my wife. She wants me to come right away after our Visa is approved, but there are so many things to take care of, not just the family. Accounts to close. Car/Home to sell. Social security to take care of. Investments to take care of. I can't leave my job before approval. There are so many cases where your case goes to Administrative Processing for long time before you get approval. I can't take a chance like that. I would go nuts just sitting around house if I leave my job early. Eventually my wife came around to understanding it, though still not happy about it.

Edited May 31, 2017 by Tanish

[Dashinka 24,529]

10 hours ago, MCSmooth said:

I feel like I have nothing but revenge.  He took my self-respect, my confidence and my pride, everything.  I know you are right. thanks for your advice. 

That is understandable, but you can pick yourself up in the long run.  Everyone make mistakes in life, the best thing to do is evaluate it and learn from it.  What is not productive is stewing and seeking revenge.  

 

Good luck with your info pass appointment.

 

[THEMSRILEY 4]

Is the AOS, you are speaking of, is it your Adjustment of Status or Affidavit of Support?

[Redheadguy03 505]

You posted he wanted to wait a month and you said you were upset because you had 90 days to get married. It's 90 days from his arrival in the United States, not 90 days since it's issued. He could have stayed there a month and not had an issue. 

 

Sounds dramatic for sure, but he can't adjust his status without you. 

[lutz 41]

14 hours ago, MCSmooth said:

Thank you but I feel so stupid and naive. I haven't even told my mother. I only talked to one friend because everyone will think I must have been desperate. But it wasn't like that at all. I thought my husband was created just for me. I will forever question my judgement now. I never thought this would be my story. 

I'm so sorry for what has happened to you, but PLEASE don't feel stupid.  You had no idea he was going to do these things, and change his behavior.  As others have written, protect yourself but don't get vindictive.  Separate yourself from him ASAP, pull all the necessary paperwork then move on, all the wiser.  I wish you the best.  Don't let him sour you on love.  There are good people out there.

[Auds 223]

2 hours ago, Redheadguy03 said:

You posted he wanted to wait a month and you said you were upset because you had 90 days to get married. It's 90 days from his arrival in the United States, not 90 days since it's issued. He could have stayed there a month and not had an issue. 

 

Sounds dramatic for sure, but he can't adjust his status without you. 

OP, I think most of us read that and perhaps most ignored it for what followed.  None of us are perfect and yes that demand of yours was surely controlling and unfair.  I would also be resentful if my partner didnt treat me like an adult to have autonomy over my wrap up date.

 

i get the feel that sometimes USC tend to feel they can make decisions for their partner because of the 'favour' of immigration.

 

 

having said that all that followed was not on and not justified.  Things will get better for you, if you allow them to.

 

 

[MCSmooth 4]

7 hours ago, NYCruiser said:

Yes I believe you can do that. I would write a letter but don't sign it except in the presence of the Officer at the Info Pass asking for withdrawal of the I-485 and the I-864. They won't refund your fee though, which is not cheap...:-(.

In the letter ask to withdraw the Affidavit of Support. My ex in my first relationship is Jamaican and I can see the pattern here...this was before 2013 and it was just a relationship. Moving on is very hard and one gets scarred but once can love again, though there are certain triggers get me going even now...:-)

IF the letter for the interview comes for the AOS, DON'T disclose this to him. Just show up on your own and cancel the AOS. Sorry for all of this...:-(

Since this is his AOS will I get a letter for the interview? And he changed his addresss. In the end it seemed he no longer cared to even pretend so I'm worried he may have received his gc and never told me. Thanks 

[MCSmooth 4]

6 hours ago, Jawaree said:

Sis chalk it up experience dont let hate overcome although i.t hurts,

pull your  affidavit of support by going into infopass, seemigly a

scammer ...sic ICE on him & move on with your life,,,,good riddance

Its not a culture that males make an older woman a wife most times

usually its for a benefit,,,,bleaa ip

Really? I feel like I heard of many younger Jamaican men marrying older woman. I indirectly know of 3 and they haven't ended in disaster. 

[MCSmooth 4]

6 hours ago, Elsalove2016 said:

Is it posible she can go to the interview with him and tell the officer in person all the horrible things this man has done to her ? I'm very sorry to hear about what happen to you , I have been through something similar in the past and nobody should ever go through something like this . Good luck with everything . 

I feel strongly he is living with his cousin but he did not leave a forwarding address and he does not talk to me. He completely ignores me. Two weeks ago When he left for 2 days with no word he was leaving and not coming back I started searching all over the house for his AOS receipt number and not only did I see no sign of it I couldn't find any paperwork pertaining to his k-1 visa or any immigration paperwork which was mailed to me not him. He took everything. But I did find a 21 page documentation he wrote about me in November 2016 when we were separated for 2 months. 21 pages of how much he despises me and hates me. It seems he will attempt to file a VAWA for all the mental, emotional and physical abuse he says I caused him detailed in the letter.  I guess he thinks when he kicked me because I picked up his phone that was my fault. Or after he hit me several times while I was driving because I touched his headphones and I hit him back to defend myself I wasn't supposed to because I caused him the stress that made him hit me. So in return he smashed my windshield which cost me $950 to replace and he told his family I did it and blamed him cause I'm an alcoholic according to him. The most I drink is socially once a week and I can only handle 2 martinis. Sorry for the rant but I don't think he will come with me. 

[Redheadguy03 505]

10 minutes ago, MCSmooth said:

I feel strongly he is living with his cousin but he did not leave a forwarding address and he does not talk to me. He completely ignores me. Two weeks ago When he left for 2 days with no word he was leaving and not coming back I started searching all over the house for his AOS receipt number and not only did I see no sign of it I couldn't find any paperwork pertaining to his k-1 visa or any immigration paperwork which was mailed to me not him. He took everything. But I did find a 21 page documentation he wrote about me in November 2016 when we were separated for 2 months. 21 pages of how much he despises me and hates me. It seems he will attempt to file a VAWA for all the mental, emotional and physical abuse he says I caused him detailed in the letter.  I guess he thinks when he kicked me because I picked up his phone that was my fault. Or after he hit me several times while I was driving because I touched his headphones and I hit him back to defend myself I wasn't supposed to because I caused him the stress that made him hit me. So in return he smashed my windshield which cost me $950 to replace and he told his family I did it and blamed him cause I'm an alcoholic according to him. The most I drink is socially once a week and I can only handle 2 martinis. Sorry for the rant but I don't think he will come with me. 

You are just fighting back and forth. Break up and move on. He can't adjust status without you. 

 

I would advise to be careful what you post on here. It can be used later if they know it's you. Just be careful. 

Edited May 31, 2017 by Redheadguy03

[MCSmooth 4]

5 hours ago, Tanish said:

 

 

Ok but he said initially he wanted to come immediately then as soon as he got the visa he changed it to a month later. And why did he quit his job?  Also the very week he got here he asked me to buy him two separate plane tickets to two different states for about 2 weeks at a time to visit his family and added he wanted to go alone on these trips. He reminded me he did neva favor by coming sooner than he wanted so I should do this for him. You are right though, I can imagine it's very hard to migrate to another country which is why I foolishly kept forgiving him for the things he did to me thinking he was just missing his family and had a hard time adjusting. He didn't have a hard time calling and texting  who knows who everyday using apps that hide the the numbers so they can never be traced. Go figure.