Does the USC spouse need to attend interview

[MCSmooth 4]

I met my husband while on vacation in Jamaica. We knew each other for about 1 year before deciding to do the k-1 visa. I visited him at least 8 times in that year. He treated me very well. I loved him dearly and I knew he loved me too. The k-1 process was fairly easy. There is more than a 15 year difference in age between us but it seemed to not matter. We had no issues and he received his visa in less than 5 months. This was a sign from God that it was meant to be and God's will as far as I was concerned.  As soon as he got the visa in his hands I noticed a change.  Everyday he said he couldn't wait to be with me and asked could we get the plane ticket the day after he got his visa. When the visa came I found out he quit his job 3 days before without telling me and stated he preferred to come to the States in a month because he wanted to say goodbye to his friends and family. I objected to this because we only had 90 days to get married. He got very angry and said I was insecure and was trying to control him. After disagreeing for a couple days he finially agreed to come in 2 weeks. This event was the beginning of the end. He never let me forget he wanted to stay home longer and feeling like I forced him to come to soon. He said he didn't know I was so controlling. The odd thing is he is someone no one can control. I just wanted to be with my soon to be husband right away. So many horrible things have happened since he arrived here. Too much to go into details. We have been separated twice and now he is no longer living with me. He has a cousin that moved here on a k-3 visa  right before he did ( he did not tell me this until after he came) and in the last 5 weeks he's been with them when he's not working. He stopped speaking to me and the 3 times I tried to speak to him he became very angry. Finally he left with a small suitcase and backpack for 2 days without a word and when he came back it was only to get more items. I told him if he was not living with me anymore he had to take all his things. Without a word he left and 3 days later he came back with his cousin to get everything else. He refused to sign a form I had to show up at court for a divorce. He is not agreeing to have a divorce. Also, 3 weeks prior to that he started transferring 95% of his money out the joint bank account we had to another account he opened without my knowledge.   I noticed on the joint account the day he moved he changed his address with the post office.  He only paid the Internet bill and he stopped paying that before he left.  And of course I looked at his phone records after he left and discovered he had been using multiple apps like sideline to call and text "someone" everyday all day when he tells me he is busy at work and can't call me or return my calls while he's working 10-16 hour days. It is possible for him to work long hours at his job so it was a good excuse. But he has been using these apps since September around the first time were separated for 6 weeks. He came here in May. I'm pretty sure he was cheating on me. There are many pretty bad things that occurred in our marriage I'm not mentioning. Things did become violent at times. I accused him of fraud many times and he said he would say he could not be with someone who would think he was capable of such a thing. 

 

I was reluctant to write about this. This website is very helpful when it comes to information but I noticed with situations like mine some individuals can be pretty negative and not comforting to the US citizen even though the USC is the victim that was lied to, deceived and humiliated. Even though I risk being kicked while I'm down, I decided to tell my story as humiliating and painful as it is to maybe help just one person. My love for my spouse was pure and true and real. It is so confusing and devastating to still love a person who I believe never loved me at all and used me for money and a greencard. I made many mistakes. Hind-site is a .  I made excuses for him saying he's just young and he lost his mother at a very young age and it's just hard for him to adjust here, etc., etc., etc... He is now trying to say I committed fraud. Saying I can't have children, I'm a alcoholic and I have an undiagnosed mental disorder I never told him about simply because I told him I felt like I was having an anxiety attack during a time I felt he was leaving and wouldn't return. None of these things are true and he can't prove any of it. He is attacking my character to get a greencard. My husband is unrecognizable. I'm trying hard to accept the person I fell in love with never existed. I tried so hard to save my marriage and held on when I should have let go. Make sure you are 200% it is genuine. It is up to you to determine if your spouse is a fraud before you are approved for the k-1 or k-3 visa. If you are not 200% sure then wait. Be patient. And remember their family may be in on it too. 

 

I mailed the AOS in September 2016. We have not had the interview yet. I learned that after the petitioner pays for and signs the AOS that you no longer have any decision in your spouse getting a greencard. You cannot call USCIS or The US Embassy or anyone about his/her AOS without him/her present because it is not your petition but his/hers. They will not talk to you or answer any questions about that AOS.  You can send emails, make an appointment for an infopass, call phone numbers but none of this may matter.  Immigrant Drug crimes and slave trades takes presidence over marriage fraud.  So he may get away with this. And there is nothing I can do but move on with my life. Easier said than done. He has changed my life. It will be very difficult for me to trust another man again and marriage is not even a consideration.  

 

All the sites say the USC spouse has to be present during the interview. I've learned not everything I read even on the government sites are true and depending on what agent you talk to at any particular center there may be a different answer. Can he still get his greencard if I'm not at the AOS interview? Has anyone heard or know anyone who did? And yes I am angry. And yes I want him to go back to Jamaica. And yes I don't care how anyone feels about this. No one but me feels this pain that will not go away. 

Thank you 

[Ben&Zian 4,398]

If he hasn't had the interview yet or been approved to receive his GC, pull to affidavit of support (I-864). You will not be legally bound to support him and without you, he can't adjust status or stay or get a GC.

 

While he has "threatened" you about your habits he didn't know about, without any police report or real evidence, he can't use those things against you in any manner really.

[Crazy Cat 41,974]

If he, indeed, used you for immigration benefits, HE IS THE ONE WHO committed fraud!  As others have suggested, immediately withdraw your I-864 and take care to protect your own well being.  I wish you well.

[MCSmooth 4]

9 minutes ago, Ben&Zian said:

 

Thank you. I didn't know about this.  USCIS told me all I could do was withdraw to be the petitioner for the k-1 visa but we are already married so that does nothing. 

[MCSmooth 4]

Just now, missileman said:

If he, indeed, used you for immigration benefits, HE IS THE ONE WHO committed fraud!  As others have suggested, immediately withdraw your I-864 and take care to protect your own well being.  I wish you well.

Thank you, I'm looking into this immediately. 

[Dashinka 24,577]

4 minutes ago, MCSmooth said:

Thank you. I didn't know about this.  USCIS told me all I could do was withdraw to be the petitioner for the k-1 visa but we are already married so that does nothing. 

Actually, there are many things you can do.  As already stated, you can and should withdraw the I864 to make sure you don't end up on the hook supporting him.  Then follow through on the divorce.  Once you pull the I864 which is yours, not his, he can try to AOS alone, but the bar is high for him to prove a good faith marriage.  Then move on, don't get vindictive, there isn't anything more you can do relative to his immigration status, that will be all on him.

 

Good Luck!

[MCSmooth 4]

18 minutes ago, Dee elle said:

I am so sorry to hear of your journey....

He cannot adjust  without a viable marriage... that is he cannot adjust without you!! ..

Withdraw your I864... search the vj website for similar threads, discontinue all contact with him, and get yourself surrounded by a few people you trust who can support you during this awful time.

 

You are worth much more than this....

Thank you but I feel so stupid and naive. I haven't even told my mother. I only talked to one friend because everyone will think I must have been desperate. But it wasn't like that at all. I thought my husband was created just for me. I will forever question my judgement now. I never thought this would be my story. 

[MCSmooth 4]

7 minutes ago, Bill & Katya said:

Actually, there are many things you can do.  As already stated, you can and should withdraw the I864 to make sure you don't end up on the hook supporting him.  Then follow through on the divorce.  Once you pull the I864 which is yours, not his, he can try to AOS alone, but the bar is high for him to prove a good faith marriage.  Then move on, don't get vindictive, there isn't anything more you can do relative to his immigration status, that will be all on him.

 

Good Luck!

I feel like I have nothing but revenge.  He took my self-respect, my confidence and my pride, everything.  I know you are right. thanks for your advice. 

[Crazy Cat 41,974]

Just now, MCSmooth said:

Thank you but I feel so stupid and naive. I haven't even told my mother. I only talked to one friend because everyone will think I must have been desperate. But it wasn't like that at all. I thought my husband was created just for me. I will forever question my judgement now. I never thought this would be my story. 

Don't beat yourself up about this.  Evaluate your CURRENT situation, take actions in your own best interest, and move on.........life is too short to be miserable......

I wish you the very best.

[sparkles_ 456]

Please make an infopass and tell them you wish to pull the i864. Don't forever question your judgement, these types of individuals are excellent actors and could dupe many a sound minded person.

[MCSmooth 4]

21 minutes ago, sparkles_ said:

Please make an infopass and tell them you wish to pull the i864. Don't forever question your judgement, these types of individuals are excellent actors and could dupe many a sound minded person.

My infopass appointment is on Thursday. Can I cancel the i864 there or do I have to write a letter? Thanks 

[MCSmooth 4]

24 minutes ago, Dee elle said:

Yes he has robbbed and stolen much from you.... with support and time you will find you are moving towards health and wholeness again..

Dont let him steal and rob you of anything more... its your respect and confidence..stay close to the few who remind you that you are right, that you are worth more than this.. that he is one in the wrong and he took great advantage of your trust.  

Focus on getting and keeping yourself in a safe place ... face forward into tomorrow and you will find that the past takes  place where it no longer torment you..

Be kind and gentle on yourself 

Thank you for your kind words. 

[sparkles_ 456]

3 hours ago, MCSmooth said:

My infopass appointment is on Thursday. Can I cancel the i864 there or do I have to write a letter? Thanks 

I am not sure. But they will tell you that day how to do it, if it requires more than just your presence and signature. Be sure and bring all the copies of what you have filed already, your AOS NOA1 and such. XOXO.

[geowrian 22,337]

6 hours ago, Bill & Katya said:

Once you pull the I864 which is yours, not his, he can try to AOS alone, but the bar is high for him to prove a good faith marriage.

He cannot AOS on the basis of marriage without the I-864 from her spouse (barring VAWA, but then that also needs to prove abuse). The I-864 from the USC spouse is a required document...proving a good faith marriage alone is not sufficient.

[NYCruiser 423]

7 hours ago, MCSmooth said:

My infopass appointment is on Thursday. Can I cancel the i864 there or do I have to write a letter? Thanks 

Yes I believe you can do that. I would write a letter but don't sign it except in the presence of the Officer at the Info Pass asking for withdrawal of the I-485 and the I-864. They won't refund your fee though, which is not cheap...:-(.

In the letter ask to withdraw the Affidavit of Support. My ex in my first relationship is Jamaican and I can see the pattern here...this was before 2013 and it was just a relationship. Moving on is very hard and one gets scarred but once can love again, though there are certain triggers get me going even now...:-)

IF the letter for the interview comes for the AOS, DON'T disclose this to him. Just show up on your own and cancel the AOS. Sorry for all of this...:-(