if your spouse cheated...

[Caladan 19]

I'd want to know, and honestly, it would depend on the circumstances. It's very easy to say oh, it would be over, or oh, we'd be fine, but I think cheating is serious enough that I don't think anyone can predict how they'd react.

[rebeccajo 14]

Trust me...you don't want to know.

[tmma 467]

I am really NOT sure how I would react, but I know it would be ugly......

He'd be on a slow boat back to Cairo if he did either one of those things.

ZERO tolerance.

Unfortunatly, once he is here, because you are already married-I don't think you have the send on the" slow boat back to Cairo" option... Divorce would be about the only option and even then he could try and adjust status himself to stay in the USA merely by proving the marriage was bona fide in the beginning....

[Caladan 19]

Even if the alternative is 'gee, I wish I'd known before I contracted herpes?' or 'Gee, I wish I'd known before I quit my job to stay at home expecting we'd be together forever'?

[LovinLiberia 0]

i never understood why a cheater feels the need to come clean when they cheat. for me, it would just ruin the relationship. i don't think i could trust my man anymore after he's admitted to cheating on me. if my man cheated on me once with a one-night-stand, and still loved me, and obviously planned on never doing it again.....i'd rather he keep it a secret. why ruin a relationship if you are truly sorry? its another example of selfish behavior (like the original cheating was).

however, if he had a whole other relationship i'd want to know so i could dump him and move on. when feelings, lots of time, and money are involved,...that i cannot accept. its over. for sure!

curious about what you all think!

Agreed!

[VetsWife328 7]

Well,if it was a one night stand (because we haven't been together for so many months and he simply had the "urge") I wouldn't want to know and I wuldn't leave him.But if he was to have an affair with someone else,yes I would leave him.

Luckily my man hates sex without emotions and wouldn't just have a one night stand.

Nat

[*JG* 2]

Looking the other way just enables a cheater.

[reach449 2]

If you don't know about the cheating and it was purely physical then it's not an issue. I, personally, would not want to know about a fling or one night stand but I would want to know about an affair. Emotionally cheating is usually more harmful than physical cheating.

Hmmmm....so let's say you don't know about the "emotional cheating". If you don't know about it, then I guess it is no harm to your relationship...

Which is #######!!!! Cheating is cheating; no matter how you label it, emotional or physical. There are always some kind of emotions involved. Just the thought of my wife having sex with another man, no matter what "kind" it was, would end the relationship.

CHEATING IS CHEATING....that is why it is called what it is called.

reach449

[Fandango 1,439]

If you don't know about the cheating and it was purely physical then it's not an issue. I, personally, would not want to know about a fling or one night stand but I would want to know about an affair. Emotionally cheating is usually more harmful than physical cheating.

Hmmmm....so let's say you don't know about the "emotional cheating". If you don't know about it, then I guess it is no harm to your relationship...

Which is #######!!!! Cheating is cheating; no matter how you label it, emotional or physical. There are always some kind of emotions involved. Just the thought of my wife having sex with another man, no matter what "kind" it was, would end the relationship.

CHEATING IS CHEATING....that is why it is called what it is called.

reach449

obviously everyone has his/her own definition...try not to get so worked up

[mRx 16]

If you don't know about the cheating and it was purely physical then it's not an issue. I, personally, would not want to know about a fling or one night stand but I would want to know about an affair. Emotionally cheating is usually more harmful than physical cheating.

Hmmmm....so let's say you don't know about the "emotional cheating". If you don't know about it, then I guess it is no harm to your relationship...

Which is #######!!!! Cheating is cheating; no matter how you label it, emotional or physical. There are always some kind of emotions involved. Just the thought of my wife having sex with another man, no matter what "kind" it was, would end the relationship.

CHEATING IS CHEATING....that is why it is called what it is called.

reach449

obviously everyone has his/her own definition...try not to get so worked up

Lisa, you are quite the peacemaker.

[Lovetoteach 53]

I dunno how I'd react tbh. I have never cheated on anyone, nor has anyone ever cheated on me. I also previously had a set of 'dealbreakers' before I met D and was very cut & dry over how I'd react...I'd say exactly what's said in this thread 'oh he'd be packin his bags, no ifs ands or buts!'

However, with D, I love him so much I can't see anything which would break us. I know categorically he'd never cheat on me...but he's taught me the meaning of commitment. Learning to love and accept someone fully, as he does you, all the while knowing we're all flawed individuals who make mistakes. Has he ever broken a dealbreaker? No he hasn't. But the level of commitment I feel towards him makes me know in my heart that I would fight tooth and nail to save my relationship with him through pretty much anything...even cheating...because I love him and he's my family. And I won't walk away from family.

Of course, he's earned this commitment and love being the wonderful & respectful partner he is. I suppose it's a double edged sword cos without him honoring our relationship, I wouldn't feel as I do.

Excellent post

I totally agree . An excellent post Lisa. It's one of the most awful experiences to go through, It's so easy to say that you know what you will do, but if it ever comes to it and you love that person more than anything, some decisions are not always that easy. I've been there.

Shona

[Arazia 0]

In the case of a one-night-stand, I'd want to know the details before I jump to a conclusion and dump my husband. Some people do stupid things when they are drunk, for instance. I'd probably make sure he got checked for STDs and went to alcohol councelling, but I don't think it would be an absolute relationship-ender. Of course, if it was an intentional one-night-stand, then I'd probably separate.

The whole relationship with another woman thing... that's an ender for me. I'd be out so fast you would see burn marks from my feet moving so fast.

I've been in a situation before where I was cheated on, and I wasn't strong enough to get out of the relationship. I won't let that sort of thing happen to me again. My husband knows this, so it isn't as if the rules aren't out on the table.

[Henia 11]

First off I would know. He is not a good liar. Also secondly, his family and neighbours would definately tell all, since they love me and all for my side. I would leave him, couldnt love him anymore. But I think I would still commicate as friends (every once in a while)... but thank the God my husband is not like at all. So I have nothing to worry about ....=)

[Elphie 0]

There is no excuse for cheating.

[Karen_L 1]

For me, infidelity is non-negotiable, whether it's a 1 night stand or a whole drawn out affair. Unless we're in the middle of a war zone and he thinks I've been killed by enemy forces or something, it's not something I think I could forgive. Gratefully, I've never experienced such a thing first-hand, but I don't think it's something I could accept and live with and move on from.

EDIT: But yes, I would DEF. want to know about it.

Edited June 20, 2007 by Karen_L