if your spouse cheated...

[TracyLuis 0]

The relationship would end. Period. Cheating is uncategorically intolerable.

My husband would say the same thing...only he would say it in Spanish

[KarenCee 3]

Just out of curiosity, what is with all the cheater threads lately?

As for me, I'm not sure I'd want to know..."not sure" being the operative word. There is an old adage that goes "ignorance can be bliss" and for some reason that popped in my head when I read the poll choices. Meh, I dunno. I guess if it was a full blown affair I'd want to know.

[MPGGPM 0]

One thing that mytifies me with the "I'm okay if they cheated once...as long as I don't know about it crowd" is...

I personally can not figure out what distinguishes that from , say , someone who cheated twice...or maybe 3 times etc..

In other words, if someone is willing to accept it once.........then why not twice?

Is there a difference?

To me, that is almost like saying, "Okay....my husband murdered someone....but at long as he doesn't do it AGAIN...I'm okay with it".

And yes...I know you can't equate cheating and murder.......but they are both very serious events.......and the point is.................if it is okay once.....then why not twice........or if twice....then why not even more?

Is there a "quota" on cheating that I am not aware of? If once is okay, where do you all draw the line?

If anyone can explain that logic to me........I would really appreciate it.

And....do NOT try to equate or compare cheating to something minor..........and say, "Well if someone does that, wouldn't you forgive them?" We are talking about a VERY serious issue here.

To me...............once/if my wife as an example..........ever cheated and slept with someone...........she has already taken the step. What difference does it make at that point, whether she sleeps with anyone else?

My trust, my feelings, my belief in her, etc.....................would be ruined already, with the first.

Edited April 13, 2007 by MPGGPM

[Welshcookie 17]

I guess if he ever told me, he is ready for the marriage to be done *shrug*

[Alex+R 0]

One thing that mytifies me with the "I'm okay if they cheated once...as long as I don't know about it crowd" is...

I personally can not figure out what distinguishes that from , say , someone who cheated twice...or maybe 3 times etc..

In other words, if someone is willing to accept it once.........then why not twice?

Is there a difference?

To me, that is almost like saying, "Okay....my husband murdered someone....but at long as he doesn't do it AGAIN...I'm okay with it".

And yes...I know you can't equate cheating and murder.......but they are both very serious events.......and the point is.................if it is okay once.....then why not twice........or if twice....then why not even more?

Is there a "quota" on cheating that I am not aware of? If once is okay, where do you all draw the line?

If anyone can explain that logic to me........I would really appreciate it.

And....do NOT try to equate or compare cheating to something minor..........and say well if someone does that, wouldn't you forgive them? We are talking about a VERY serious issue here.

To me...............once/if my wife as an example..........ever cheated and slept with someone...........she has already taken the step. What difference does it make at that point, whether she sleeps with anyone else?

My trust, my feelings, my belief in her, etc.....................would be ruined already, with the first.

Cheating might be very serious to you (apparently as serious as murder, #######) but it might not be that way for everyone. You have to respect everyone's different opinions. If someone cheats once and says they won't ever do it again, their partner might be big enough to excuse it. If they still cheat again anyway, I would guess that in most relationships the romance dies there.

Just chill out and realize that people are different (from you)

[Nessa 23]

One thing that mytifies me with the "I'm okay if they cheated once...as long as I don't know about it crowd" is...

I personally can not figure out what distinguishes that from , say , someone who cheated twice...or maybe 3 times etc..

In other words, if someone is willing to accept it once.........then why not twice?

Is there a difference?

How can you accept or not accept anything that you don't know about? There's no such option.

Edited April 13, 2007 by nessaandcharles

[Nessa 23]

Just out of curiosity, what is with all the cheater threads lately?

My cheaters thread was because I saw that story on yahoo news, so I thought about starting a poll about it.

[MPGGPM 0]

How can you accept anything that you don't know about?

True....and you could say that about ANY act in this world..............if you don't know about something, how is it going to effect you?

I'm addressing the other ones......who admit, that even if they knew about it...........it would not be enough to end the relationship.

I mean, if that is truly someone's belief............okay......to each his own.

I was just asking the question, to hear the other point of view.

There's no need for hostility here.(don't mean you)

If someone REALLY believes in something, then what harm is there in asking for them to explain it?

I have no problem trying to give my point of view...................and so vice versa......I don't think others should have any in giving theirs.

Edited April 13, 2007 by MPGGPM

[Nessa 23]

How can you accept anything that you don't know about?

True....and you could say that about ANY act in this world..............if you don't know about something, how is it going to effect you?

I'm addressing the other ones......who admit, that even if they knew about it...........it would not be enough to end the relationship.

I mean, if that is truly someone's belief............okay......to each his own.

I was just asking the question, to hear the other point of view.

There's no need for hostility here. If someone REALLY believes in something, then what harm is there in asking for them to explain it?

I have no problem trying to give my point of view...................and so vice versa......I don't think others should have any in giving theirs.

Maybe it's me, but my definition of hostile is completely different. I was just making a point, wasn't trying to be rude, so if I gave that impression I appologize.

[MPGGPM 0]

Maybe it's me, but my definition of hostile is completely different. I was just making a point, wasn't trying to be rude, so if I gave that impression I appologize.

No need to. I couldn't hit the "edit" button in time. Read it now.......................

Edited April 13, 2007 by MPGGPM

[Nessa 23]

Maybe it's me, but my definition of hostile is completely different. I was just making a point, wasn't trying to be rude, so if I gave that impression I appologize.

No need to. I couldn't hit the "edit" button in time. Read it now.......................

k

[MPGGPM 0]

(apparently as serious as murder, #######)

####### indeed........cause that's not what I wrote. I think you missed the point................

Edited April 13, 2007 by MPGGPM

[KarenCee 3]

somebody bring some drinks....

[Cassie 8]

Secrets suck. And my husband couldn't lie to me if he tried, and vice versa. So yeah, I'd want to know and so would he.

Seeing as his first wife cheated, and I know how that affected him, this girl won't being going down that road and vice versa. However, I don't know what I would do if such a thing were to happen. But I'd want to know.

[MPGGPM 0]

somebody bring some drinks....

This isn't going to devolve into some "name calling" free for all,(I hope)... so you might want to keep your receipt. I'm not here to do that.

I only simply asked what I thought were some pretty good questions, to try and get the opposing view. That's all.....

It's true, I disagree obviously with the other side who say "once is okay".....(or maybe twice, or three times etc.....depending on their individual quota )........

But I was simply asking to try and understand their way of thinking.

Although there is one point of view that I do disagree with so far. And I do so, because I do not agree that I have to have "respect" for the other opinions.

I mean...if I disagree with them, then I disagree. That's the way it is. Why have respect for a concept that I totally disagree with and believe is wrong?

To say I do....would be living a lie.

At the same time.....I can live and abide by the rule, "to each their own"..............and if people want to live their lives according to their own views, I perfectly understand that it is their right..............and I an not here to change that.