Rant on a Hot Tin Roof

[SAT 9,609]

Oh man I have a huge wood chipper upstate. Like a...huge one! Like...huge! 

Haven't started it in like 8 years. Make too much noise man. 

[SAT 9,609]

I just ate this...

 

 

 

[SAT 9,609]

Oh man I feel fat!

[SAT 9,609]

Like....Hillbilly....

Like...Dutch...

[Ontarkie 14,225]

I got 6 more chicks

 

[TBoneTX 45,292]

6 hours ago, cdneh said:

the chemist

British English-only outside the regional fora,  Eh ma'am!

1 hour ago, Ontarkie said:

I got Many more chicks

Number precised, and we knew that you were pregnant with Manychicklets, D ma'am!

[TBoneTX 45,292]

Mini-B.'s last week of skool is next week, graduate wee man.

There will be some kind of award or ceremony for his reading, but we couldn't understand Mrs. T-B.'s explanation, no man.

[TBoneTX 45,292]

Special Friday GS report, see man:

 

Friday was fruitful at Many GSs (some planned, some serendipitous) and an ES, whee man.

The take, see man:

-- full pack glossy inkjet-printer business cards = $1, steal man

-- new-with-tags bath towel = $2, steal man

-- Many (2x2x2x2+2) notepads = $1, steal man

-- 2 composition books, 2 Prestige boxed pens = $2-&-a-half, deal man

-- Many (2x2x2+2+2+2) books for Mini-B. = $2, steal man

-- Perry Ellis dress-shirt; book & 2 action figures for Mini-B. = $2-&-a-half, steal man

-- Spirograph game (!!!), Many-watt floodlight, Many (2+1) bath towels, 2 bathmats, Many (2+2) 

     warshcloths = $Many ($2x2x2x2+2+2), steal man

Total = $Many ($2x2x2x2x2-1), whee man

[TBoneTX 45,292]

After GS-ing, we stopped at tyre* shop, mentally prepared man.

 

*the ONLY approved/acceptable British spelling by/to us, GodsavetheQueen man

 

Owner was out, but he has expanded to Many (2x2x2-1) Mexicans, staff man.

One spoke English, communicate with we man.

 

We described our previous telephonic palaver with owner, discuss man.

English-speaker called owner, call boss man.

Boss tried to high-ball us, teetotaler we man.

We hard-balled him, polite-yet-insistent we man.

We even insisted upon (and got) trade-in credit for 2 of our old tyres, a surprising $Many man.

We ended up with Many (2+2) new Kenda tyres, size PMany Many RMany, specifically man.

Treadwear warranty = Many,000 ([2x2x2x2x2x2-2-2],000) miles per tyre, above average man.

Drive-out price per tyre was $Many ($2x2x2x2x2x2+[2x2x2x2-1]) + half-of-half a buck, precisely man.

 

The T-B.-mobile continues to look majorly spiffy, high-class man.

We are very pleased with ourself, score man.

WCG (World's Cheapest Gringo) is in transit, and we can't wait to report the above to him, kindred spirit man.

Edited May 27, 2017 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,292]

We had a small ($2x2x2x2x2+2+2) rebate check from AARP, payable to "Estate of Aunt T-B.," executor we man.

We stopped at Bank of America (AARP's bank) to cash it, dread man.

 

Only one manager on duty, chicken-with-head-cut-off man.

We showed death certificate, will, and our ID, prepared we man.

Manager ultimately approved it and wrote "Exception - initials" on check, sent us to teller man.

 

We waited in line for nearly half an hour, 2 tellers for 2+2+1 windows grrr man.

Teller was typical middle-aged dour immigrant, we knew what was coming man.

Teller said, "I can't cash this unless you're an account-holder, no man, and there's a $2x2x2 fee," grrr man.

We pointed out manager's approval on check, in plain view man.

Teller said, "I need his override," and rang dinger-type bell.

We said, "The manager said nothing about a $Many fee, no man," truth man.

Teller said, "There's always a fee for non-account-holders," grrr man.

We said, "We personally watched our buddy cash out Many checks for no fee earlier this month," truth man.

Teller snorted in dismissal, supercilious she man.

 

Manager frantically busy shepherding various customers, distracted he man.

After Many minutes, teller finally went out to try to grab him, disappear she man.

Just then, manager came behind tellers' windows, how did they miss one another man.

Manager vanished, teller returned, how did they miss one another man.

We said, "He was just here, see ma'am," see man.

Teller said, "I went out to look for him," and dinged bell again, dingbat she man.

 

After Many minutes, Manager showed up, peripatetic he man.

Manager quickly pointed out his approval on check and said, "Waive the fee," obvious man.

 

Teller pulled out a $Many bill, a $Many bill, a $Many bill, and a $1 bill, asked us nothing man.

We said, "We would like a $Many, Many $Manys, and Many $1s, thank you ma'am," icily polite we man.

Teller shoved funds into an envelope without counting it out, lousy technique man.

We said, "Can you please count that out, huh ma'am?", losing patience we man.

Teller counted it out loudly as if we were a dim child, needed to have her hindquarters fired man.

We turned to long line of customers behind us and said, "We apologize for her rude incompetence," say we man.

Of course, manager was nowhere to be found to complain to, no man.

 

We have never had one positive experience in any Bank of America branch, only BBVA Compass sucks worse man.

 

[TBoneTX 45,292]

We then went for oil-change in the T-B.-mobile, brought own oil & filter man.

While T-B.-mobile up on rack, Mrs. T-B. calls, call she man.

"Did you pick up Mini-B. from skool OK?" she asked, asked she man.

We said, "You were supposed to do it, or to call us if you got a job and needed us to do it!" said we man.

Mrs. T-B. out-freaked and went ape-waste, ape-freak she man.

Mini-B. retrieved eventually and in OK fashion, all well with wee man.

Mrs. T-B. didn't discuss topic again, self-realize ADD she man.

And, as usual, we paid only $Many ($2x2x2x2-1) for our oil-change, smart deal we man.

[TBoneTX 45,292]

We arrived at casa, but no one home yet except cat, needy miu man.

We took shower, very sweaty we man.

Mrs. T-B. eventually returned with Mini-B., tired wee man.

Took Mrs. T-B. & Mini-B. to Wendy's for din-din, last days of coupon validity man.

 

Upon return to casa, napped-with-cat like a dead thing for 2-&-a-half hours, exhausted we man.

Cat continued zzz-ing after we awoke, zzz miu man.

Cat continued zzz-ing even when Mrs. T-B. went to bed, zzz miu man.

Edited May 27, 2017 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,292]

5 hours ago, SAT said:

Oh man I have a huge wood chipper upstate.

It is good to be a chipper individual, si man.

[TBoneTX 45,292]

De-dish cat prep zzz man.

Mornin', Commie- and other babes with refulgent +1 inventories!

[cdneh 3,112]

11 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

I got 6 more chicks

 

How cute are they! Peep peep!