Husband and I split, 2 year conditional card

[Unlockable 7,314]

The vetting lies in the hands of the petitioner. All relationships need to be done in a way so that everyone can get to know the other persons true intentions. After all, it wasn't the government who brought you together. True there are systems in place but it still can be overcome by a scammer. But in situations like this it is the petitioner being scammed more than the officer. Remember, it is the petitioner who also brings all the evidence to prove the relationship is sincere. The petitioner is basically vouching for the beneficiary. Immigration does the checks and balances but there is only so much it can do without changing into a process that would severely invade your privacy; creating an even more tedious and arduous experience.

 

I agree that we all are sorry this has happened to you. We see cases like this way too often and it is never a pleasurable.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

1 hour ago, carebearh707 said:

You all wouldn't say move on with your life if it had happened to you. There are serious flaws in the vetting system. For example, for our gc interview, hardly anything was asked and we were approved because of an emotional response of an officer. Furthermore, it's pretty bad when they can't see if an applicant has applied for other foreign visas or had other previous foreign relationships. Huge red flags. I'm not the first it has happened to either. Justice will be served in this life or the next and I will do my best to be sure it is in this one.

Sorry but I would indeed suggest moving on if it did happen to me.  I don't believe that vengeance is mine to make happen.  It's my responsibility not USCIS to be sure one has good intentions overall.  

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

You need to take responsibility for your own poor choices you made

and should have spend more time with him to see who he really is. I can not believe you blame the government which you tried so hard to convince with the initial petition and then again the AOS. Seriously it's your fault for picking the wrong guy nobody else's just as I was accountable over a decade ago for petitioning a scammer and guess what I quickly moved on from the drama. I investigated him because I did not ignore red flags and he never made it here. Happy as a lark now with an awesome husband. 

Start taking responsibility for your own choices as a mature adult. So yes I say again move on. 

[mindthegap 2,590]

9 hours ago, carebearh707 said:

You all wouldn't say move on with your life if it had happened to you. 

Heres the thing.... something kinda resembling this did happen to me, and y'know what, I absolutely still do say that. 

 

 

9 hours ago, carebearh707 said:

There are serious flaws in the vetting system. For example, for our gc interview, hardly anything was asked and we were approved because of an emotional response of an officer. 

Maybe. It could be argued that the whole process doesn't work properly and is outdated but it is what it is.

 

My own immigrant visa interview took just a couple of minutes, and the whole process just over four months form start to finish (and could have been even quicker). Does that mean I wasn't vetted or somehow not worthy of it? 

 

To keep up an act in a convincing manner for potentially years, generally would mean that you either have to be a seriously good actor, suffering from some serious personality disorder, or ideally both. The people that control this process and conduct these interviews may in many respects be useless, but they aren't totally stupid. To fool your partner, subsequently spouse, plus usually family, friends, colleagues, and then the US govt - all consistently without slipping up or raising red flags -  means serious dedication, and thankfully many people DO get caught out doing this.

If there WERE red flags and you still proceeded, then I am sorry, that is down to you. With all due respect it isn't the governments job to vet your spouse, for the most part they are merely in possession of the information provided to them by you as the petitioner and act accordingly.

 

The fact is that at the current time, a US citizen has the right to petition for permanent residency for their lawful spouse, and it takes precedent over most other methods for immigration.

That is the law as it currently stands, and you took full advantage of that right afforded to you as a a US citizen. That it went south for the winter at a later date is nothing to do with the law that you took advantage of at the time or somehow automatically means their intentions were less than honourable.

 

Don't like it or want to change the law? Then use your voice at the ballot box, run for office, or protest in some other manner. 

 

 

 

 

9 hours ago, carebearh707 said:

Furthermore, it's pretty bad when they can't see if an applicant has applied for other foreign visas or had other previous foreign relationships. Huge red flags. 

 

I have two passports stuffed full of visas from all over the world, and many of us have had multiple foreign relationships - including long distance, as many have on here - in our lifetimes.

Why on earth would that be an automatic red flag?

If they had actually been married and divorced before and lived overseas by virtue of an immigrant visa, then it would have to be declared on their application and you would (should) have known this. There isn't a central database of every persons movements worldwide, so again, how would the US govt know?

 

 

9 hours ago, carebearh707 said:

 I'm not the first it has happened to either. 

No doubt.

However, you also aren't the first to accuse an ex-spouse of fraud. Thankfully we live in a society where an accusation without evidence is just that - an accusation.

If you do actually have evidence of this, then please do present it to USCIS, and if applicable and genuine, they will more than likely act on it.

 

 

9 hours ago, carebearh707 said:

 Justice will be served in this life or the next and I will do my best to be sure it is in this one.

Loosely paraphrasing lines from Russell Crowe Gladiator was cool on forums for about half a day in 2000.  It doesn't make you sound scary, it makes you sound, well, odd, and could also be construed as a threat.

He has his ROC process to do now involving a divorce waiver, that you are no longer part of it ,and you have made it clear you would not co-operate. I will also point out that if you are seen to be making threats and/or things deliberately difficult, a competent lawyer could perhaps spin that into an abuse waiver (threats regarding immigration against an immigrant spouse can be classed as abuse).

 

 

I urge you to focus your energies on moving on with your life as you sound incredibly bitter, which is an entirely understandable, normal and natural reaction initially, but holding onto that will absolute eat you alive from the inside out. 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 15, 2017 by mindthegap

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

If the petition, visa application or AOS would have been denied  you would be here complaining that the gov did not approve you

as many are here to do just that.
Now that your marriage didn't work out you complain that the gov did approve him.

As to the previous posts, if you have concrete evidence of fraud then submit it to USCIS and leave it up to them.
You are just making more drama than you need for yourself by not letting things go.
I suggest counseling to deal with your relationship issues.
 

[Randyandyuni 2,682]

4 minutes ago, Ebunoluwa said:

If the petition, visa application or AOS would have been denied  you would be here complaining that the gov did not approve you

as many are here to do just that.
Now that your marriage didn't work out you complain that the gov did approve him.

As to the previous posts, if you have concrete evidence of fraud then submit it to USCIS and leave it up to them.
You are just making more drama than you need for yourself by not letting things go.
I suggest counseling to deal with your relationship issues.
 

this is the most sound advice you will get

[carebearh707 6]

15 hours ago, Ebunoluwa said:

You need to take responsibility for your own poor choices you made

and should have spend more time with him to see who he really is. I can not believe you blame the government which you tried so hard to convince with the initial petition and then again the AOS. Seriously it's your fault for picking the wrong guy nobody else's just as I was accountable over a decade ago for petitioning a scammer and guess what I quickly moved on from the drama. I investigated him because I did not ignore red flags and he never made it here. Happy as a lark now with an awesome husband. 

Start taking responsibility for your own choices as a mature adult. So yes I say again move on. 

I did in fact take the time to get to know him but I didn't find out much until after marriage. Not my fault he's scum.

[carebearh707 6]

12 hours ago, mindthegap said:

Heres the thing.... something kinda resembling this did happen to me, and y'know what, I absolutely still do say that. 

 

 

Maybe. It could be argued that the whole process doesn't work properly and is outdated but it is what it is.

 

My own immigrant visa interview took just a couple of minutes, and the whole process just over four months form start to finish (and could have been even quicker). Does that mean I wasn't vetted or somehow not worthy of it? 

 

To keep up an act in a convincing manner for potentially years, generally would mean that you either have to be a seriously good actor, suffering from some serious personality disorder, or ideally both. The people that control this process and conduct these interviews may in many respects be useless, but they aren't totally stupid. To fool your partner, subsequently spouse, plus usually family, friends, colleagues, and then the US govt - all consistently without slipping up or raising red flags -  means serious dedication, and thankfully many people DO get caught out doing this.

If there WERE red flags and you still proceeded, then I am sorry, that is down to you. With all due respect it isn't the governments job to vet your spouse, for the most part they are merely in possession of the information provided to them by you as the petitioner and act accordingly.

 

The fact is that at the current time, a US citizen has the right to petition for permanent residency for their lawful spouse, and it takes precedent over most other methods for immigration.

That is the law as it currently stands, and you took full advantage of that right afforded to you as a a US citizen. That it went south for the winter at a later date is nothing to do with the law that you took advantage of at the time or somehow automatically means their intentions were less than honourable.

 

Don't like it or want to change the law? Then use your voice at the ballot box, run for office, or protest in some other manner. 

 

 

 

 

 

I have two passports stuffed full of visas from all over the world, and many of us have had multiple foreign relationships - including long distance, as many have on here - in our lifetimes.

Why on earth would that be an automatic red flag?

If they had actually been married and divorced before and lived overseas by virtue of an immigrant visa, then it would have to be declared on their application and you would (should) have known this. There isn't a central database of every persons movements worldwide, so again, how would the US govt know?

 

 

No doubt.

However, you also aren't the first to accuse an ex-spouse of fraud. Thankfully we live in a society where an accusation without evidence is just that - an accusation.

If you do actually have evidence of this, then please do present it to USCIS, and if applicable and genuine, they will more than likely act on it.

 

 

Loosely paraphrasing lines from Russell Crowe Gladiator was cool on forums for about half a day in 2000.  It doesn't make you sound scary, it makes you sound, well, odd, and could also be construed as a threat.

He has his ROC process to do now involving a divorce waiver, that you are no longer part of it ,and you have made it clear you would not co-operate. I will also point out that if you are seen to be making threats and/or things deliberately difficult, a competent lawyer could perhaps spin that into an abuse waiver (threats regarding immigration against an immigrant spouse can be classed as abuse).

 

 

I urge you to focus your energies on moving on with your life as you sound incredibly bitter, which is an entirely understandable, normal and natural reaction initially, but holding onto that will absolute eat you alive from the inside out. 

 

 

 

 

Lol, I wasn't quoting anyone but cool

[carebearh707 6]

10 hours ago, Ebunoluwa said:

If the petition, visa application or AOS would have been denied  you would be here complaining that the gov did not approve you

as many are here to do just that.
Now that your marriage didn't work out you complain that the gov did approve him.

As to the previous posts, if you have concrete evidence of fraud then submit it to USCIS and leave it up to them.
You are just making more drama than you need for yourself by not letting things go.
I suggest counseling to deal with your relationship issues.
 

I don't have relationship issues. I'm loyal and give as much as I can to help others. I got stuck with a piece of .

[carebearh707 6]

Thanks for the kind words from those who care. 

[SofisPatience 23]

I'm sincerely sorry this happened to you. I try to put myself in your situation and I'd certainly want some guidance on this too. I suggest taking some time out for yourself. Do something nice for yourself. Get in a state of mind where you're caring about your own well being and not necessarily seeking revenge.

 

Then call a lawyer. Either Family Law or Immigration, but preferably Family Law. The tough part here, as you can see with the posts, is that you will find some people with sympathize with you whereas others will sympathize with your spouse/ex. You need someone who is going to look out for your interests. That's what lawyers are paid to do.

 

You have rights and you deserve to be made whole due to his Fraud or perhaps Negligence in the marriage. Lawyer-up. Please. That's what I'd do.

 

I truly hope you'll be able to get past the heartache. It takes time, but you will be happy again, and I hope that it will be someone who deserves you.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

9 minutes ago, SofisPatience said:

I'm sincerely sorry this happened to you. I try to put myself in your situation and I'd certainly want some guidance on this too. I suggest taking some time out for yourself. Do something nice for yourself. Get in a state of mind where you're caring about your own well being and not necessarily seeking revenge.

 

Then call a lawyer. Either Family Law or Immigration, but preferably Family Law. The tough part here, as you can see with the posts, is that you will find some people with sympathize with you whereas others will sympathize with your spouse/ex. You need someone who is going to look out for your interests. That's what lawyers are paid to do.

 

You have rights and you deserve to be made whole due to his Fraud or perhaps Negligence in the marriage. Lawyer-up. Please. That's what I'd do.

 

I truly hope you'll be able to get past the heartache. It takes time, but you will be happy again, and I hope that it will be someone who deserves you.

Show me one post that sympathizes with her spouse. 

 

[SofisPatience 23]

2 hours ago, Ebunoluwa said:

Show me one post that sympathizes with her spouse. 

 

Take a deep breath. Breathe in and out through your nose. 

 

Read the following very clearly. This is a forum, this is not a WWF ring. I will not be fighting with you. That is pointless. If you don't like my post, that's fine. 

[Randyandyuni 2,682]

29 minutes ago, SofisPatience said:

Take a deep breath. Breathe in and out through your nose. 

 

Read the following very clearly. This is a forum, this is not a WWF ring. I will not be fighting with you. That is pointless. If you don't like my post, that's fine. 

You wrote ostensibly looking for advice, EVERYONE told you to try and move on as the best course of action, yet you rebut every post and say we do not understand your hurt. I agree this is not the WWF but you continue to seek agreement that you should be bitter and seek revenge, if that is truly your choice, do it, hold on to the anger, destroy your inner peace, make fruitless efforts to punish him. It is your life, do as you please, but do not insult people trying to provide you guidance.

[SofisPatience 23]

 

2 hours ago, Randyandyuni said:

You wrote ostensibly looking for advice, EVERYONE told you to try and move on as the best course of action, yet you rebut every post and say we do not understand your hurt. I agree this is not the WWF but you continue to seek agreement that you should be bitter and seek revenge, if that is truly your choice, do it, hold on to the anger, destroy your inner peace, make fruitless efforts to punish him. It is your life, do as you please, but do not insult people trying to provide you guidance.

anyways....

 

I hope the OP Got the advice she was looking for.