Family rejection

[JosephRose 82]

I suggest you use a service. We have submitted our I-129F through a service and are currently waiting for our NOA2, So I am by no means an expert but based on what you have said, and by what the service we used suggested we in include in our packet,  I believe you will need far more than screenshots and a single meeting in a country neither of which the two of you are from.  I suggest you travel to Malaysia and at least get pictures of the two of you there and with any of her family members you can. There is no requirement that the family approves, There are no religious questions, Passport stamps, Boarding passes, and anything else you can come up with that has both your names, dates ..PROOF  that your relationship is sincere and that you can support her when she gets here, That is what they want.  All you need from her parents is their date and place of birth.  Have you looked into relocating to Australia , it would definitely be a faster track to you two being together and a far friendlier religious climate for her given the current administration in the US.  You two could be together long term there ASAP and i believe work permits for US citizens there are not impossible.

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

16 hours ago, Jesus & Michelle said:

You should talk to my fiancee about this. Her mother thinks it's not such a good idea to move to the US. They are well off so they don't think its worthwhile for their daughter to move there and work for a paycheck monthly. Don't get me wrong but they like me just fine. At least her siblings think it's fine.

 

 

My siblings are fine with my decision too! They are very supportive, same as my best friends and my working mate! ] - (fiancee) 

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

14 hours ago, Randyandyuni said:

my situation is similar but reversed, it posed no problems for us, although we had similar religious backgrounds. I would not be overly concerned, best of luck to you both

 

Thanks Randyandayuni!  - (fiancee)

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

13 hours ago, sparkles_ said:

Let me give you some cultural insight. I've been Muslim for 15yr, since I was in high school. While it may not be right, most families draw a very deep line between marriage material and everyone else. They were probably ok thinking it would never pan out into you guys really marrying each other. 

 

 

Yes, agree! They are absolutely okay when I told them I'm in a relationship with my fiance. Because they thought that we will never be that serious until decided to get married!  - (fiancee)

Edited May 10, 2017 by MalaysiaUS

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

13 hours ago, Jordan8768 said:

As long as you explain stuff and tell the truth you will be fine. Rule of thumb is to tell the truth and show you have nothing to hide. The relationship is about you guys and family rejection can be a part of life. However, as long as you can prove you have a real relationship then you're fine. 

 

Thanks Jordan! Will always tell them the truth!  - (fiancee)

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

12 hours ago, zilchfox said:

Just tell them the truth, and you'll be fine.

 

My husband has never, ever met my parents, although there were plans for them to meet eventually, they unfortunately fell through. Both my parents and in-laws are very much in approval of our relationship.

 

Zilchfox, If you don't mind, can i ask whether the CO did ask you anything related to family acceptance? maybe asking for pictures?  - (fiancee)

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

12 hours ago, Mido&Emi said:

In the end, it is you and her who make the decision of having a life together and giving it a shot. If you want to become Muslim, explore the religion first. Let her guide you as well. Ignore what parents feel about the relationship but be honest and stand your ground. This is for you AND her. You must both stand your ground. When I first spoke to my now husband, we had to be honest about our feelings and plans to our families. Our families haven't spoken to each other yet since they live countries away. At first we faced a lot of prejudice from both sides but mostly his. From mine because they believed the media in that all Muslims are terrorists. From his side because they have this idea that Americans sleep around, do drugs and are unstable and wild. We both fought hard. I can't say our families have an extremely positive light of us but they learned to accept our marriage for the sake of us. if that makes sense. Now we fight together for the visa process to go smoothly. He is in Egypt and I am trying to take him to the US. It will show his family that I was good for him. Not by getting to the US but realistically speaking, he can succeed more in the US than in Egypt. If God wills it and we can go to the US, he stabilizes then his family will see I was good for him and helped him improve. By traveling, my family gets to meet him and see not all Muslims are terrorists with an agenda to push their beliefs. That he is a good man that provides for me. So regardless of the circumstances, when you love someone, you stand strong together in the face of it all. Whether it's family rejection, standing for your beliefs or even the frustrating visa process that surely takes a toll. 

 

Be honest, explore the religion, stand strong together and hopefully God will guide you within your visa process. There's nothing better than honesty. Goodluck!  

 

Awwww, thank you so much for sharing your experience with me Mido&Emi! Really appreciate that! Will always be honest! Thanks for the advise!  - (fiancee)

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

12 hours ago, mrtravel said:

 

Sure, it doesn't matter to them if the family agrees to the relationship.  They might care whether or not you have told family about it, in order to recognize the legitimacy of the relationship. Non-acceptance of you as a fiance is proof they know about the relationship ... 
 

 

Awwww, thanks! Glad that i did tell my parents about this relationship! and really glad that their rejection will not be a reason for my K1 rejection! that is the only thing i'm afraid the most.  - (fiancee)

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

11 hours ago, Limey said:

There is no requirement that parents approve the marriage in order for a k1 to be issued. You are marrying her, not her parents. She is an adult.

 

If the CO asks about her family, be honest and tell them the truth (as you should do with all their questions). You won't be denied because her parents don't approve, but you can be denied for lying about it.

 

Thank you so much for the advise Limey! Will always be honest and tell them the truth! Really glad that this matter will not cause K1 rejection! That is the only thing i'm worried about!  - (fiancee)

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

5 hours ago, NikLR said:

I'm similar but not quite so bad. My brother quit talking to me when I decided to move to the USA.  It was because my child decided to live in Canada with my ex boyfriend (the father.)  He's a great dad, lives close to his family with a great job (a family based business that does very well.)  I let my child choose because when I was a child I wasn't given a choice.  I was forced to live with one parent or the other and hated it.  We are now at the stage where on facebook we will say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy birthday."  (generally I do and he says you too.)  I know it's very hard on my mother but it was his choice not to talk to me because of life choices and I'm not going to apologize.  

 

I'm sorry to hear that NikLR! I hope that my parents will keep on talking to me even after i move to States!  - (fiancee)

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

39 minutes ago, JosephRose said:

I suggest you use a service. We have submitted our I-129F through a service and are currently waiting for our NOA2, So I am by no means an expert but based on what you have said, and by what the service we used suggested we in include in our packet,  I believe you will need far more than screenshots and a single meeting in a country neither of which the two of you are from.  I suggest you travel to Malaysia and at least get pictures of the two of you there and with any of her family members you can. There is no requirement that the family approves, There are no religious questions, Passport stamps, Boarding passes, and anything else you can come up with that has both your names, dates ..PROOF  that your relationship is sincere and that you can support her when she gets here, That is what they want.  All you need from her parents is their date and place of birth.  Have you looked into relocating to Australia , it would definitely be a faster track to you two being together and a far friendlier religious climate for her given the current administration in the US.  You two could be together long term there ASAP and i believe work permits for US citizens there are not impossible.

 

 

Thanks for your suggestion JosephRose! However, we rather do this by ourselves without using any service. It's not like we are 100% sure what we do will lead to visa approval, but by doing this by ourselves, it is fun! Because we learned about the process together, gather all information, evidence and we are super duper excited every time we able to finish one step by one step! We share the same thought, if let say we get RFE, or something goes wrong, we know exactly what happen and where is the mistake (the mistake will come from us of course!). Rather than hire an attorney or visa service provider, even though they are professional, but they are still human whom can make a mistake. Furthermore, it is not their visa application, they might take it lightly because even the visa gets to approve or not, they will still get their money. Unlike us, we take it seriously and very careful with our package, because we knew that our future together is in that package. No offense, but it is only my opinion!  Regarding relocating to Australia, it is not a great choice for us, because by doing that, i need to be separated with my family, and he needs to be separated from his family too. If we did that, we will live in Australia just by both of us without any family around. At least, if I move to States, we will still have family there and we can spend time with them and will not feel lonely. Furthermore, his family are very supportive and welcome me to be part of their family!  - (fiancee)

Edited May 10, 2017 by MalaysiaUS

[NikLR 13,232]

1 hour ago, MalaysiaUS said:

I'm sorry to hear that NikLR! I hope that my parents will keep on talking to me even after i move to States!  - (fiancee)

Im sure they will.  My brother has his own demons and issues which have nothing to do with me.  He's too proud and stubborn to apologize as well.  It is hard when family reject your life choices but always remember this is your life.  Live it for you! 

[sparkles_ 456]

5 hours ago, MalaysiaUS said:

Yes, agree! They are absolutely okay when I told them I'm in a relationship with my fiance. Because they thought that we will never be that serious until decided to get married!  - (fiancee)

I think you guys should just tell the truth, and explain that you both are very hopeful that with time and effort her family will come around to accepting things. It won't be the end all, be all visa rejection due to her family not being a fan of you. 

Edited May 10, 2017 by sparkles_

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

4 hours ago, NikLR said:

Im sure they will.  My brother has his own demons and issues which have nothing to do with me.  He's too proud and stubborn to apologize as well.  It is hard when family reject your life choices but always remember this is your life.  Live it for you! 

 

Awwww, thanks NikLR! Yes, it is my life! Will always remember that! It is awesome to communicate with you and hear about your experience!  - (fiancee)

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

1 hour ago, sparkles_ said:

I think you guys should just tell the truth, and explain that you both are very hopeful that with time and effort her family will come around to accepting things. It won't be the end all, be all visa rejection due to her family not being a fan of you. 

 

Thanks for the advise Sparkles! Will always tell the truth!  - (fiancee)