Should we get wedding rings for our AOS interview?

[Allie D 39]

22 minutes ago, SparklePony said:

Heh, thanks. We didn't do a wedding cake either, but we got a blueberry muffin from the bakery (hubby's favorite), and we put a unicorn and Batman figurines on top, like cake toppers. Then did the whole cutting it with both our hands and giving a piece to each other. Lots of fun!

I'd have loved to go to your wedding. We didn't have a reception either. First, we visited his parents and told them that we'd eloped. Our best friend knew because she was the witness. We told others as we came across them, since neither of us is active on social media. Eventually, my husband and I hosted a home-cooked dinner for his family and a few of our closest friends (~15 people; my parents couldn't fly in because it was too expensive). Hopefully the lack of a reception won't be a red flag. Your post makes me feel better.

[QueenComley 295]

Just now, Allie D said:

I'd have loved to go to your wedding. We didn't have a reception either. First, we visited his parents and told them that we'd eloped. Our best friend knew because she was the witness. We told others as we came across them, since neither of us is active on social media. Eventually, my husband and I hosted a home-cooked dinner for his family and a few of our closest friends (~15 people; my parents couldn't fly in because it was too expensive). Hopefully the lack of a reception won't be a red flag. Your post makes me feel better.

This was mine and my husbands second marriage. We paid $50 for a courthouse wedding, Only had my 2 step-kids with us, ate steak after and fell asleep on the couch for the rest of the afternoon LOL

[*Snowdrop* 604]

If you end up getting rings just to wear at the interview - get silver ones - much cheaper than gold, lots of people have platinum wedding bands so silver-coloured bands are not unusual. 

 

You can get a silver wedding band for less than $30

 

http://www.evesaddiction.com/wedding-rings/173?&refcode=gsrch&promo=GFS30;&gclid=Cj0KEQjwxbDIBRCL99Wls-nLicoBEiQAWroh6lvvBSBlUiZ_8mk4tyCKRMPxEqjiI7x9FVYoL8-pzk0aAuIs8P8HAQ

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

if you two have never worn wedding rings, I suggest you dont do it now..Usually ppl do last minute things to impress immigration officials which usually does the reverse.

[Allie D 39]

 

if you two have never worn wedding rings, I suggest you dont do it now..Usually ppl do last minute things to impress immigration officials which usually does the reverse.

I agree with your general sentiment. However, doing something as small and "traditional" as wearing wedding bands isn't going to set off alarm bells. I became curious about the potential effects of not doing so because our families and peers strongly recommend rings, not only for the interview but going forward. My husband and I are young and just starting out. We've been advised that rings are a good external/internal signal/reminder of our commitment, given our cultural and socioeconomic backgrounds. My parents are Indian, born and raised, and currently live in India. So they don't wear wedding rings but my mum wears a certain set of bracelets to indicate that she's married. Since I grew up primarily in the UK and USA, and essentially have no ties to Indian culture, she suggests that I wear a ring.

 

Just wanted opinions, suggestions, and experiences -- even though I understand that rings are a personal preference!

Edited May 5, 2017 by Allie D

[mrtravel 40]

Don't worry about rings at all.  The interviewer isn't going to care one way or another. 
As someone mentioned, it is easy to slap a ring on your finger.  The interviewer wouldn't know whether it was there for 10 minutes or 10 years, and it's not going to change their mind

[Allie D 39]

 

If you end up getting rings just to wear at the interview - get silver ones - much cheaper than gold, lots of people have platinum wedding bands so silver-coloured bands are not unusual. 

 

You can get a silver wedding band for less than $30

 

http://www.evesaddiction.com/wedding-rings/173?&refcode=gsrch&promo=GFS30;&gclid=Cj0KEQjwxbDIBRCL99Wls-nLicoBEiQAWroh6lvvBSBlUiZ_8mk4tyCKRMPxEqjiI7x9FVYoL8-pzk0aAuIs8P8HAQ

Thanks for the suggestions! Until I started this thread, I hadn't even considered that it was possible to get inexpensive yet durable rings. It makes sense though, since a lot of people work with their hands and wouldn't necessarily want to wear their finest jewelry 24/7. Given our sheltered, privileged upbringings, we've kind of been brainwashed by the idea that it's either spend $$$ on rings or don't get them at all. One of my friends ridiculously said that it's "common knowledge" that an engagement ring should cost 3x the proposer's monthly salary.

 

We didn't have an engagement ring, so we're not going to conjure one out of the blue now.

[mrtravel 40]

Actually the DeBeer's people came up with the 2 month's salary idea in the 1980's in ads
I don't know when someone started with the 3 month thing. I have not heard that. 

The average, is just over 1 month's salary

Edited May 5, 2017 by mrtravel

[huko 10]

 

Rings aren't required, but do show a small amount of commitment, however in the end it's just a piece of gold anyone can buy if they can afford it. My husband and I never got rings when we got married, instead we traded engagement rings with each other (yes we both had one, we're not a traditional couple, shut up lol) =P

hahaha this is so cute!

[mrtravel 40]

My wife and I have simple white gold rings from a 585 store.  That is store that sells 58 1/2 percent gold, which to Americans would be .585 * 24 or 14 Karat

[Dutchster 1,107]

I gotta say, Walmart has pretty decent looking rings -for both female and male- for cheap. Even if it is just for trying out if you both can get used to wearing rings. When my husband was still my boyfriend, I bought him a $28 tungsten ring from Walmart. He wore it for two years, barely scratched! It's now his key-chain and I'm honestly impressed by the quality. His $500 wedding bang is already gigantically scratched up Anyways, I think that we are a generation where we should be able to make the choice for ourselves whether we wear rings or not. I do not think my rings define my love for him or my marriage. My actions do, my feelings do. And I think the USCIS should understand that.

[Harmonia 211]

Its totally up to you. We bought cheap sterling silver rings off of Amazon for like, $25, for our interview in Guatemala. We didn't want to wear any of our gold jewelry there. I don't think the rings made any difference to be honest. 

 

For my husband's recent naturalization interview, he didn't wear a ring because its too small for him, and we haven't bothered to get it resized. He thinks he'll lose the weight he's gained...

 

 

[QueenComley 295]

 

I gotta say, Walmart has pretty decent looking rings -for both female and male- for cheap. Even if it is just for trying out if you both can get used to wearing rings. When my husband was still my boyfriend, I bought him a $28 tungsten ring from Walmart. He wore it for two years, barely scratched! It's now his key-chain and I'm honestly impressed by the quality. His $500 wedding bang is already gigantically scratched up Anyways, I think that we are a generation where we should be able to make the choice for ourselves whether we wear rings or not. I do not think my rings define my love for him or my marriage. My actions do, my feelings do. And I think the USCIS should understand that.

Walmart is the way to go. My husband got my engagement ring from Walmart for $300. It was a platinaire ring, and when we got it valued it was estimated to be worth $2-3,000. We couldn't believe it. I also got my wedding ring there half price. White gold, 11 diamonds $75. Cant go wrong LOL

[Poubon 8]

 

I've read in several forums that wedding and engagement rings are not necessary for AOS interviews. They're not a part of many cultures and many people cannot afford them. However, my husband and I are comfortably middle class. He's a "typical white American guy" with a "typical white upper-middle class American upbringing in the suburbs" (his words, not mine. Forgive us for stereotyping). I've lived in the UK and USA for 95% of my life. With regard to culture, appearance, accent, values, perspective, etc. I'm very much like him.

 

Some of our friends argue that given our backgrounds, we should get rings, just to show society that we're committed spouses. They think that if someone doesn't wear a ring, they're giving the wrong signals. E.g. you're hiding something, expressing your receptivity towards flings.

 

Would it be a red flag for us to show up at the AOS interview without rings, given our cultural and class backgrounds? We think rings are unnecessary, both in terms of finances and showing commitment. From what I've seen in pawn shops, the nicer (i.e. not tacky) rings can be upwards of $200-300. And women wear two! One with a diamond! We skipped that stuff. No (potentially) questionably/unethically harvested gemstones and metals for us. I'm not judging anyone who does choose to go that route -- your life! We'd also rather spend the money on a summer vacation.

 

Just trying to get opinions. Or even experiences where the immigration officer asked about why you weren't wearing rings. Thanks!

Hi just to add, we got our rings really cheap on Ebay/Amazon. Google Tungsten, its very good metal and it was only like 12.00 . Not sure if they are necessary because like you said, different cultural practices. I

[s + j 71]

My husband and I got our rings from blingjewelry.com Both for less than $20 combined. So worth it. Mine got scratched and since it's my actual wedding band I ordered a cheapie from Amazon.