How to continue? RoC in October

[America15 0]

Hey y'all

 

I haven't been here in a long time. Therefore, I try to keep my story as short as possible.

 

I met my husband in August 2014, we got married in August 2015 and ever since we are living here in the states. I received my GC in January 2016.

I knew from day one when I met my husband about his miltary history (4 years in the Military also he was in Afghanistan in 2011) and the consequences out of it. He suffers from severe PTSD, high anxiety, depression and was also diagnosed with TBI. When we met he became a better person. stopped drinking, quit smoking. He was a A student, had a job and took care of his business.. Shortly after we got married I noticed the first change. He went out drinking more frequently, started smoking again. Over the almost 2 years we've been married it went from going out every 2nd - 4th night to EVERY single night. He spent more time and money on his drinking buddies than on me. Nevertheless, I cannot talk bad about him. I was always important to him, he loves me unconditionally and he would do everything possible to make me happy. But the addiction was stronger. in June 2016 he asked me to help him to get his life straight again. We went to therapists, psychologist, etc. But after he felt better he kind of skipped appointments after a couple weeks. He continued his life with sleeping all day long and going out all night long. I tried my best to get him straight and help him the best I can. His grades went downhill, he quit his job. He became more and more depressed - hid in his room, did not want to talk to anyone. Drinking and going out was the only escape for him.

In December 2016 I thought he got out of this circle. He stayed at home for a couple nights in a row, put more effort in school again but he also told me he wanted to work now and do not continue school. As long as he is happy I aggred with it. His "dream" jobs he applied to became his nightmare. No positive response back - he got frustrated, gave up on himself. In January his depression was back worse than ever before. He did not want to talk to me anymore, took off for a couple days, slept in the car or at his drinking buddies places. He felt bad around me, felt like a loser and he cannot offer me anything because he is not the husband he wants to be for me - that is what he told me. No matter what I tried it did not work out.

Beginning of March 2017 he took off for a whole week. He went to his drinking buddies place. He told me he would rather wanna be by himself but he cannot afford it to stay at a hotel for a week. After this week he came back, told me how much he loves me and that he never wants a divorce because I am his family. Honestley nothing really changed after this week and he was depressed again at home - felt bad around me.

Mid of March he took off the second time. Went to another place even slept for a couple nights in the car and in motels. He kept me updated once a day. He still told me how much he loves me, he missed me but he needs time to think about us and our future. He came home twice in the first 2 weeks to get more clothes. He had short conversations, he told me basically the same, he needs more time, he loves me, he cares about me more about anything else but he does not want to put me through this anymore and see me suffer. In the third week he told me he has to tell me something on the weekend. Wednesday of this week he told me he does not want to be with me anymore but is has nothing to do with me or what I've done. He will always love me but he wants to stay friends. Friday, the day before our talk he texted me “do we still need to talk or do you just want to file fore divorce?”. I told him I want to talk to him so he panicked and rescheduled our meeting end of April (another 2 weeks) because he does not feel ready yet. After this he came home another 2 times, knowing I was at home. He could have waited 10 more minutes and then I've would be gone but obviously he wanted to see me. Ever since he never mentioned divorce or separation again in his messages or even when he came home. He is highly depressed and does not know what to do with his life right now. He even texted me a couple times that he loves me. Anyway, this week I figures out that he has “rent” a condo nearby. I am not sure if he is by himself, or with someone. I called the condo office and they told me you can rent this place from 1 month up to 12 months. I think of 2 options right now. Either he already started his new life or he got kicked out at the other place and had no other choice. There are so many questions and only he has the answers.

That was just a short history. Of course when he threw divorce in the room I was thinking about my RoC in October. I am aware of the fact that we have to be divorced or be a married couple to file. There is nothing between. I still hope for the best and that he gets himself together and we can work things out. I still love him and want to be with him.

Nevertheless, I have to prepare myself. I know I need papers that proof that our marriage was a bona fide marriage. I have papers of the last 2 years with our names on it from : our car, car insurance, apartment lease, dental insurance, water/sewer bill, electronic bill, my transfer from my bank to his military bank, smaller bills from the vet, hotels, pictures, trip to my home country together and letters. That is what I can think of right now. Also I have conversations on FB and messages that proofes that he went out every night, was drunk, and that I tried to get him help but he refused. All those papers do not look enough to me for 2 years of marriage. Honestly I did not keep every single receipe of our trips (yes I know I should have-but who thinks abot this with everything you do together?) but now that it comes down I am kind of panicking. I never thought we are going to be in this situation even though with all our problems I thought our marriage was always very stable and we can work through things. I also know I can write a letter why I think our marriage did not work out and I have also messages from him that says it is not my fault. I also know an Immigration lawyer who possible can help me out.

My question for right now is how are my chances to receive the 10 yr GC? Is it proof enough what I have? What do I have to be aware of?

Does it make a difference if I move back to my host family (where I started as an Au Pair) and apply from there for my RoC – I do not really have somewhere else to go and they would give me shelter.

I hope you can help me out and I am very grateful for every answer. Like I said I hope not that it comes down to a divorce but I also want to prepare myself.

THANK YOU!!!!