Wife Been Arrested

[Transborderwife 4,666]

3 hours ago, TheResistance said:

She has health insurance now. What happened was after we got married, insurance company told me I had a month to send a copy of marriage certificate. It took the county 6 weeks. So she had none for half the year. Needed only a few things but nothing major at the docs, but of course high rates. We did some stuff at the county office. Now she is on insurance as of January, but of course hit with the "government no healthcare " penalties on taxes too. Plus anything I made make they took away anyway from me.

She is at a friend's now. She is ordered not to have contact with me for a month until her next hearing.

I read all your posts and taking heart to a lot. Logic and emotions conflict. Do I call USCIS, just for basic info or to protect myself from any lies she tells them? Do I wait a month after her hearing? She is not coming back home unless she gets serious, professional help for months. That is the only way this could be salvaged. I will not just "take her back." If she can not learn to love and respect the kids, she can go. But, of course as most of you say, if she stays she could make me pay for her for 10 years. See, my mind is conflicted so please do not criticize me.

All just so much and I am hoping my pastor can at least get me a lawyer to speak to.

No contact direct or indirect.  Please give this info to your housing it's important that they have it!  Third party contact could even land you in jail yourself.

[TheResistance 6]

1 minute ago, Transborderwife said:

How long was she in for?

48h+.

[TheResistance 6]

Just now, Transborderwife said:

No contact direct or indirect.  Please give this info to your housing it's important that they have it!  Third party contact could even land you in jail yourself.

That is something I am trying to figure out is how I can get a copy of this.

I have had to pass some info to her friend, like meds info and such. But that is all the contact since last night.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

2 minutes ago, TheResistance said:

That is something I am trying to figure out is how I can get a copy of this.

I have had to pass some info to her friend, like meds info and such. But that is all the contact since last night.

Clerk of the court should be able to provide.  As for info to her friend no more. If she wants something from the house the police are the ones to contact.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

4 minutes ago, TheResistance said:

48h+.

Yeah what I meant was no initial bond.  She had a bond until her next hearing I'm guessing 

[Sandra G. 5,056]

Seek help for yourself because you are not thinking with clarity. Your kids are afraid of your wife, she ended up in jail because she abused you.  Despite all these things you are trying to bring her back to your life. Love your kids more, love yourself more, educate yourself about mental abuse and domestic violence and seek help to develop or regain self-respect. DO NOT PUT YOUR WIFE BEFORE YOUR KIDS. You did the right thing calling the cops, but if you bring this woman back to your life I hope the DCF gets involved in this situation because you do not have the right to expose your kids to psychological abuse or violence.

 

Edited April 18, 2017 by sandranj

[QueenComley 295]

6 hours ago, sandranj said:

Seek help for yourself because you are not thinking with clarity. Your kids are afraid of your wife, she ended up in jail because she abused you.  Despite all these things you are trying to bring her back to your life. Love your kids more, love yourself more, educate yourself about mental abuse and domestic violence and seek help to develop or regain self-respect. DO NOT PUT YOUR WIFE BEFORE YOUR KIDS. You did the right thing calling the cops, but if you bring this woman back to your life I hope the DCF gets involved in this situation because you do not have the right to expose your kids to psychological abuse or violence.

 

Sandranj, Im always such a fan of your responses... always straight forward, honest and 100% spot on

[Eric-Pris 1,607]

On ‎4‎/‎17‎/‎2017 at 10:03 AM, TheResistance said:

She has health insurance now. What happened was after we got married, insurance company told me I had a month to send a copy of marriage certificate. It took the county 6 weeks. So she had none for half the year. Needed only a few things but nothing major at the docs, but of course high rates. We did some stuff at the county office. Now she is on insurance as of January, but of course hit with the "government no healthcare " penalties on taxes too.

Whomever did your taxes doesn't know what they are doing.  You should have easily gotten a health insurance penalty exemption.  I hope you didn't pay $695 per person.  You can't afford to pay your rent, I think it's safe to say that you can't afford health insurance.

 

On ‎4‎/‎17‎/‎2017 at 10:03 AM, TheResistance said:

She is at a friend's now. She is ordered not to have contact with me for a month until her next hearing.

I read all your posts and taking heart to a lot. Logic and emotions conflict. Do I call USCIS, just for basic info or to protect myself from any lies she tells them? Do I wait a month after her hearing? She is not coming back home unless she gets serious, professional help for months. That is the only way this could be salvaged. I will not just "take her back." If she can not learn to love and respect the kids, she can go. But, of course as most of you say, if she stays she could make me pay for her for 10 years. See, my mind is conflicted so please do not criticize me.

All just so much and I am hoping my pastor can at least get me a lawyer to speak to.

Why are you still talking about USCIS?  You have no more business with immigration.  Your only business should be with a divorce court.  You are stuck focusing on the wrong thing. 

 

I wholeheartedly believe that you will "just take her back" as soon as she can legally return to your house.  It's obvious to everybody that you are looking for any reason to take her back.  Here's what will end up happening if you take this psycho back.  If your ex-wife has any brains, she will file and easily win full cutody of the kids due to the abuse that takes place at your house and take your kids away for good.  Then you will pay her AOS and as soon as she has her green card, she will find a real man and you will be left by yourself.  

 

I believe the reason she is so nasty and says that "you ruined her life" is because she probably had big dreams of coming here, living in luxury for 2 years until she can get her 10-year green card and leave you.  But her dream has been shattered, she has a lower standard of living than she did in her country, and there's no hope of getting better.  How could anybody expect her to be the perfect housewife.  So she takes it out on you and your kids.  The fact that you are willing to put your kids in danger over a woman says a lot about you as a father. 

 

Sorry to be harsh but you need a WAKE UP.  Everybody is giving you solid advice but you keep talking about things like how to save your marriage, her immigartion status, and supporting her for 10 years (does not apply unless you plan to AOS her).  It's like you're under her spell.  Thank God you can't afford it.  And after the arrest, don't even waste your money because she'll probably be denied anyway.

[jakelake 222]

On ‎4‎/‎17‎/‎2017 at 10:03 AM, TheResistance said:

She has health insurance now. What happened was after we got married, insurance company told me I had a month to send a copy of marriage certificate. It took the county 6 weeks. So she had none for half the year. Needed only a few things but nothing major at the docs, but of course high rates. We did some stuff at the county office. Now she is on insurance as of January, but of course hit with the "government no healthcare " penalties on taxes too. Plus anything I made make they took away anyway from me.

She is at a friend's now. She is ordered not to have contact with me for a month until her next hearing.

I read all your posts and taking heart to a lot. Logic and emotions conflict. Do I call USCIS, just for basic info or to protect myself from any lies she tells them? Do I wait a month after her hearing? She is not coming back home unless she gets serious, professional help for months. That is the only way this could be salvaged. I will not just "take her back." If she can not learn to love and respect the kids, she can go. But, of course as most of you say, if she stays she could make me pay for her for 10 years. See, my mind is conflicted so please do not criticize me.

All just so much and I am hoping my pastor can at least get me a lawyer to speak to.

Unbelievable!!!

No offense but I think that you need some professional help as well. All this seems to have taken a toll on you emotionally and psychologically. Your pastor should not help just help you in getting a lawyer but also with some counseling and soul searching.

[Sandra G. 5,056]

EeicPros she was arrested not because she was "nasty"but because she is an abuser!!!!. You said  "But her dream has been shattered, she has a lower standard of living than she did in her country, and there's no hope of getting better.  How could anybody expect her to be the perfect housewife, so she takes it out on you and your kids", you are saying here that she ABUSED her husband, terrorize her step children because her dreams were shattered. You are blaming the victim instead of the perpetrator. It doesn't matter how poor he is, it doesn't matter about her dreams being shattered, we are not here talking about a love gone wrong, but about domestic violence. 

 

VJ provides information about Immigration, but here and there someone posts about their struggles/abuse then we should take advantage of the post and speak out about domestic violence. When we blame the victims this kind of advice feeds guilt and shame.There is no excuse for abuse.

 

 

[Eric-Pris 1,607]

22 minutes ago, sandranj said:

EeicPros she was arrested not because she was "nasty"but because she is an abuser!!!!. You said  "But her dream has been shattered, she has a lower standard of living than she did in her country, and there's no hope of getting better.  How could anybody expect her to be the perfect housewife, so she takes it out on you and your kids", you are saying here that she ABUSED her husband, terrorize her step children because her dreams were shattered. You are blaming the victim instead of the perpetrator. It doesn't matter how poor he is, it doesn't matter about her dreams being shattered, we are not here talking about a love gone wrong, but about domestic violence. 

 

VJ provides information about Immigration, but here and there someone posts about their struggles/abuse then we should take advantage of the post and speak out about domestic violence. When we blame the victims this kind of advice feeds guilt and shame.There is no excuse for abuse.

 

 

I think you misunderstood what I wrote.  At no point did I say what is happening to OP and his kids is his fault.  I didn't blame the victim.  This woman is a psycho, it's ALL her fault what she is doing.  Her plan to get her green card went south and she decided to take it out on them. 

[zuluweta 250]

Why was the K-1 or CR-1 visa approved in the first place? If USCIS and the US embassy were doing their jobs properly, no visa would have been issued.

[ASMS 86]

2 hours ago, zuluweta said:

Why was the K-1 or CR-1 visa approved in the first place? If USCIS and the US embassy were doing their jobs properly, no visa would have been issued.

Since when USCIS or consulate can search for this kind of things?

If it wans't in her medical record, would be very hard for a CO or USCIS to find this.

[Boiler 45,859]

2 hours ago, ASMS said:

Since when USCIS or consulate can search for this kind of things?

If it wans't in her medical record, would be very hard for a CO or USCIS to find this.

The prime issue is money and he made enough to meet the K1 requirements but has lots of costs and not enough to go through with adjustment.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

5 hours ago, zuluweta said:

Why was the K-1 or CR-1 visa approved in the first place? If USCIS and the US embassy were doing their jobs properly, no visa would have been issued.

Some consulates do not even consider the i-134 or look at it