Wife Been Arrested

[Sunnyland 639]

7 minutes ago, TheResistance said:

I always encouraged her to volunteer doing something, especially at the church.

We could have add just about all we needed for AOS by now if it were not for increased rent over the summer, car repairs (and car is dead right now), and medical bills because of so many factors.

Please do not ever think of going back to that woman. Do the best for your kids and yourself. You don't know what she is capable to do to your children if she is alone with them. Do you want to take that risk? 

[jakelake 222]

4 minutes ago, TheResistance said:

I always encouraged her to volunteer doing something, especially at the church.

We could have add just about all we needed for AOS by now if it were not for increased rent over the summer, car repairs (and car is dead right now), and medical bills because of so many factors.

Maybe all this delay is a blessing in disguise. There is a reason for everything and the AOS is not meant to be.

You can only have so many signs that tell you that this woman is not for you.

It is time for you to move on. Otherwise, you could pay for it dearly.

If you go through with this, she will leave you once she is legal in the US and then she will find the man she really loves. Not only that, even after she leaves you, you are obligated to support her for 10 years or until she becomes a US citizen.

The other thing is that she attacked you and then lied about it and claimed that you were the one who attacked her. Next time could be a knife in your back, a bullet, food poisoning, etc.

Move on!

[TheResistance 6]

11 minutes ago, Sunnyland said:

Please do not ever think of going back to that woman. Do the best for your kids and yourself. You don't know what she is capable to do to your children if she is alone with them. Do you want to take that risk? 

Oh, they have not been left alone with her except when I had to go down the street for 15m (and my daughter dreaded it when she woke up and found out I was not there) and when I had to run to the auto store, the two older ones came with me, refusing to stay with her. The five year old was fine in both cases. This was in the past few weeks and the last time before that they were alone with her... September.

[TheResistance 6]

3 minutes ago, jakelake said:

Maybe all this delay is a blessing in disguise. There is a reason for everything and the AOS is not meant to be.

You can only have so many signs that tell you that this woman is not for you.

It is time for you to move on. Otherwise, you could pay for it dearly.

If you go through with this, she will leave you once she is legal in the US and then she will find the man she really loves. Not only that, even after she leaves you, you are obligated to support her for 10 years or until she becomes a US citizen.

The other thing is that she attacked you and then lied about it and claimed that you were the one who attacked her. Next time could be a knife in your back, a bullet, food poisoning, etc.

Move on!

So you are saying, she will find a way for me to pay for her for the next decade? I see an eviction then in my future. Well, what about if she decided to go back to the Philippines, or her past employer who is now in London (who happens to be rich)?

[Boiler 45,649]

5 minutes ago, TheResistance said:

So you are saying, she will find a way for me to pay for her for the next decade? 

Confused about the process, not through immigration and very unlikely through divorce.

[jakelake 222]

1 minute ago, TheResistance said:

So you are saying, she will find a way for me to pay for her for the next decade? I see an eviction then in my future. Well, what about if she decided to go back to the Philippines, or her past employer who is now in London (who happens to be rich)?

That is based on the I-864 form that you sign. That is a contract that states that you are obligated to provide financial support for that period of time. If the person is okay without your providing, then it's not an issue. It's an issue if the person sues you for failing to provide financial support for that period of time.

 

If she leaves the US and is no longer a lawful permanent resident, then your obligation ends.

[Boiler 45,649]

1 minute ago, jakelake said:

That is based on the I-864 form that you sign. That is a contract that states that you are obligated to provide financial support for that period of time. If the person is okay without your providing, then it's not an issue. It's an issue if the person sues you for failing to provide financial support for that period of time.

 

If she leaves the US and is no longer a lawful permanent resident, then your obligation ends.

Please read the thread and where they are in the process

[cdneh 3,112]

16 minutes ago, TheResistance said:

So you are saying, she will find a way for me to pay for her for the next decade? I see an eviction then in my future. Well, what about if she decided to go back to the Philippines, or her past employer who is now in London (who happens to be rich)?

You have not filed the I-864, that is filled in when you file for AOS. So that doesn't apply.

 

 

[cdneh 3,112]

20 minutes ago, TheResistance said:

Oh, they have not been left alone with her except when I had to go down the street for 15m (and my daughter dreaded it when she woke up and found out I was not there) and when I had to run to the auto store, the two older ones came with me, refusing to stay with her. The five year old was fine in both cases. This was in the past few weeks and the last time before that they were alone with her... September.

If your children,  young as they are fear being left in her care, that is very telling.

 

You have had a great many troubles since the start. You may be in love, but more perhaps with the idea of who she could have been, and  what could have been. It isn't going to get any better, really.

 

Take heed of the good advice you have been given, get an order of protection, divorce this person, and run. Never expose your children to her again, and never ever yourself be anywhere near her unaccompanied.

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

Yeah she can NOT get any sort of bond until 48 hours after she was taken into the jail. After the 48hours is up she will then go in front of a magistrate to determine a bond amount. That is NC law and I know from first hand experience. 

[Sukie 1,464]

Resistance,

 

I urge you to talk to your pastor.  Immediately.  If she decides to hit you with VAWA, then you are going to need every single person you can get on your side.  Let the pastor know your fears, and tell him/her what you understand the next steps are. 

 

Your troubles have been going a long time.  It's time to let her go.  She'll probably be happier back home with her own family.

 

Sukie in NY

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

1 hour ago, sparkles_ said:

Know that CPS in NC is no joke.....that is all I can say concerning this.

 

I can second this especially about Davidson County.

[Ash.1101 1,756]

Just note that you may not have to support her. You didn't sign a I-864 and you may not have been married long enough for there to be alimony.

You need to put your kids and yourself first, note that it can end up coming back on you if you allow someone who clearly is a threat to your children to actively be in your childrens life. If someone found out that your wife is like that, they could call CPS for the sake of the children because they may feel you aren't protecting them (even if you feel that you are).

Things like disrespecting children and being rude to them because you expect them to respect you is a taught mindset and it's not a side affect of a disorder. I know A LOT of people who think like this because they were taught this by their parents.

I don't believe that this is a wake up call, a wake up call would be seeing how hard you're struggling and then doing something about it. She's letting YOUR world burn because at the end of the day she prolly feels like she'll get off scott-free.

Get a nanny  cam, record any future issues, any further conversation of her talking about wanting to ruin your life or black mailing you.  Find a free lawyer, with a combination of DV and her not AOS'ing, there's a chance you may not have to pay her a penny.

Find out your legal rights and do not be ashamed this happened to you. I find it amazing and great that you called the cops on her, you're protecting your kids and you did the right thing. Do not allow any of this to be the type of relationship that your children think is normal or okay.


IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU WOULD NOT LIKE TO SEE YOUR CHILDREN IN, YOU ARE NOT IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.



Side note: If my husband threatened my daughter, I would kick his butt/kick him to the curb. He chose to come into this family, he chose to make this a family, and he chose to love my daughter like he loves me. She didn't choose this situation, so at no point will I ever accept my spouse threatening my child, and neither should you.

Edited April 16, 2017 by Ash.1101

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

Also I would be very surprised if the magistrate does not give her a temporary order to not come near you until the court settles it.

[Mary Lou 681]

1 hour ago, TheResistance said:

Oh, they have not been left alone with her except when I had to go down the street for 15m (and my daughter dreaded it when she woke up and found out I was not there) and when I had to run to the auto store, the two older ones came with me, refusing to stay with her. The five year old was fine in both cases. This was in the past few weeks and the last time before that they were alone with her... September.

Please re-read this statement. Really read it. 

Please take the advice of so many other posters