Wife Been Arrested

[sparkles_ 456]

Just now, Transborderwife said:

This may only be done with a protective order otherwise she has permission to enter.  You're very right that he needs one

Especially as a man. I am not trying to be funny by saying this, but in this area, a woman can go cry to her apartment manager that she needs the locks changed and often they will do her a favor. As a man, you need the proof. Doesn't make it right, just how it is

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Just now, sparkles_ said:

Especially as a man. I am not trying to be funny by saying this, but in this area, a woman can go cry to her apartment manager that she needs the locks changed and often they will do her a favor. As a man, you need the proof. Doesn't make it right, just how it is

I completely understand that.  Men do have a harder time as DV victims.

 

also OP here is what you'd need in your situation: 

 

If the perpetrator is a tenant in the same residence as you:

•  You (the tenant) may give verbal or written notice to the landlord that you are a victim of domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking and may request that the locks be changed.
• However, there must be a court order that orders the perpetrator (abuser) to stay away from the residence and you must provide a copy of this order to the landlord.   The order can be a protective order, a criminal judgment, a pre-trial release order, or any other order that says the abuser has to stay away from the home.
• The landlord must change the locks or give you permission to change the locks within 72 hours.
• Note: Even if the perpetrator is removed from the home, he can still be held responsible by the landlord for the rent and for any damage caused to the residence.*

http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state_type.php?id=13769&state_code=NC#content-13775

[sparkles_ 456]

2 minutes ago, Transborderwife said:

I completely understand that.  Men do have a harder time as DV victims.

 

also OP here is what you'd need in your situation: 

 

If the perpetrator is a tenant in the same residence as you:

•  You (the tenant) may give verbal or written notice to the landlord that you are a victim of domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking and may request that the locks be changed.
• However, there must be a court order that orders the perpetrator (abuser) to stay away from the residence and you must provide a copy of this order to the landlord.   The order can be a protective order, a criminal judgment, a pre-trial release order, or any other order that says the abuser has to stay away from the home.
• The landlord must change the locks or give you permission to change the locks within 72 hours.
• Note: Even if the perpetrator is removed from the home, he can still be held responsible by the landlord for the rent and for any damage caused to the residence.*

http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state_type.php?id=13769&state_code=NC#content-13775

You can get the pre trial release stuff from the magistrate....she was most likely taken before the magistrate after hours anyway and will again to be released til trial, that is how it works in NC. Little scuffles don't see a 'judge' per se but the local magistrate. You may even have a right to be there at her release trial and ask for a no contact to be given. You should phone the magistrate's office and ask, they are very helpful and well versed in all things DV.

Edited April 16, 2017 by sparkles_

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Just now, sparkles_ said:

You can get the pre trial release stuff from the magistrate....she was most likely taken before the magistrate after hours anyway and will again to be released, that is how it works in NC. Little scuffles don't see a 'judge' per se but the local magistrate. You may even have a right to be there at her release trial and ask for a no contact to be given. You should phone the magistrate's office and ask, they are very helpful and well versed in all things DV.

I'm actually incredibly surprised (if she has seen the magistrate) that a no contact for release wouldn't be given.  I know here in Florida it's mandatory if you're being ROR'd unless there are children involved in which third party contact is allowed.  

 

Even still, if she doesn't have an ice detainer especially in the Carolinas I'd be shocked. 

[sparkles_ 456]

4 minutes ago, Transborderwife said:

I'm actually incredibly surprised (if she has seen the magistrate) that a no contact for release wouldn't be given.  I know here in Florida it's mandatory if you're being ROR'd unless there are children involved in which third party contact is allowed.  

 

Even still, if she doesn't have an ice detainer especially in the Carolinas I'd be shocked. 

NC tends to give people a break if it is their first offense. We still have the prayer for judgement laws here, where if you mess up once and agree to the PFJ, you are let go but if you mess up again within 3yr, you eat both charges at once. 

 

Second the ICE thing. Hell, my husband and I got an ICE home visit in NC to serve a notice to appear. Again, they don't forward people to ICE detention, just come and serve you.

[TheResistance 6]

6 minutes ago, Transborderwife said:

I'm actually incredibly surprised (if she has seen the magistrate) that a no contact for release wouldn't be given.  I know here in Florida it's mandatory if you're being ROR'd unless there are children involved in which third party contact is allowed.  

 

Even still, if she doesn't have an ice detainer especially in the Carolinas I'd be shocked. 

 

The police told me to call after 9p to find out what her status is, and if she does get a "no contact" thing.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

1 minute ago, sparkles_ said:

NC tends to give people a break if it is their first offense. We still have the prayer for judgement laws here, where if you mess up once and agree to the PFJ, you are let go but if you mess up again within 3yr, you eat both charges at once. 

 

Second the ICE thing. Hell, my husband and I got an ICE home visit in NC to serve a notice to appear. Again, they don't forward people to ICE detention, just come and serve you.

Right but your situation was pre Trump crackdown which is why I do wonder

[sparkles_ 456]

1 minute ago, Transborderwife said:

Right but your situation was pre Trump crackdown which is why I do wonder

NC is also full to the brim in local jails. It is literally them letting those with small charges go, and notifying ICE rather than holding them AKA taking up cell space.....and they have 48hr to get ICE to come get them anyway. If they don't, they must release them.

[janet3 1,170]

You could also contact a local domestic violence organization....they are a wealth of knowledge regarding the legalities and  (in some communities) can help with housing issues and transportation. 

[Hopeful diva 99]

Get the restraining order first. You may want to let USCIS know the situation at hand because she can still get her AOS done by filing for VAWA/I-360 claiming that you abused her first. And once she gets that vawa application in, it's now her word against yours, your own side of the story will no longer matter.... All she has to do to show proof of abuse is to go stay in a shelter and gather documentation or get a psychological evaluation done claiming abuse. But since she has been arrested and is probably already out of status I presume, she may be put up for deportation but then again, filing for vawa can grant her deferred status and protect her from being deported. This situation is actually more complicated that you may think, Schedule an infopass and Talk to a uscis official if you cannot afford a lawyer, that's all I would advice you 

Edited April 16, 2017 by Hopeful diva

[Sunnyland 639]

How did you meet this woman? Did she behave like this with you and your children when you were dating? Divorce that psycho asap. 

[jakelake 222]

1 hour ago, TheResistance said:

No. I do not want to be alone with her. She is my wife and I miss her and am hurting for what happened, and I know I will want to hold her. She hates me, that I know.

It seems that you are in deep denial despite all the things that have happened.

You need to move fast to protect yourself and your kids.

[TheResistance 6]

So I should call USCIS then, eh? In truth, I want her to choose to get help or leave on her own (back to her family). I do not want her forced, she is my wife after all, but I need to also protect myself from any lies she may say. She even admitted to our pastor once before she would lie to get me into trouble, and she did lie to the police Friday night to protect herself.... I know right now I can not trust her in anything she says at this point.

 

Stupid question but under any investigation, if any, would they come over and break in and steal my computer? It has years of family photos, kids, personal documents, passwords to whatever (even to work), etc. Would they steal my life from my home?

[TheResistance 6]

1 minute ago, Sunnyland said:

How did you meet this woman? Did she behave like this with you and your children when you were dating? Divorce that psycho asap. 

We met like most others... online. We dated online for two years before she came to America. She knew I had kids and was divorced since day 1. She has pulled threats even online. I always thought things would get better.

[TheResistance 6]

1 minute ago, jakelake said:

It seems that you are in deep denial despite all the things that have happened.

You need to move fast to protect yourself and your kids.

Yes, My emotions (thanks for giving them to me, Mom) conflict a lot with logic.