Wife Been Arrested

[Ryan H 3,812]

***Derailing posts removed.***

[neilsqueen 433]

Please listen to the advice you are getting here!  You even said yourself from the assessment you took that you are an abused man.  Seek IMMEDIATE help for yourself!  Even if some MIRACLE  happened and she turned around and became the woman of your dreams, you at this point, are not capable of being the man she would need at this point.  I truly feel from everything you have posted in many original posts, you are just running in circles and will never get off the wheel with this woman.  She is never going to be who you want her to be.  She is not capable of change.  Whatever you do DO NOT FILE AOS FOR HER!!!!!!! You will have a lifetime of horror with her.  At least now, which professional help, you can get your head on straight and find someone who truly loves you.  Speaking as a woman, no real God fearing woman wants a man who cannot be the proper head of her household.  I'm not trying to kick you when you're down.  I'm trying to help you see reality and to seek IMMEDIATE help!!!  Don't think about her right now.  Let the chips fall where they will for her.  Let her figure out her next move on her own.  Let her deal with the legal system on her own!  She made her bed so now she must lay in it!

 

You made the statement to the effect that she never wanted to come to America.  I simply do not believe that.  You unfortunately were the one who was down enough on himself to be caught in her web.  I'm not a professional doctor, but I can almost be certain that you had low self-esteem long before you met your wife.  I've been there trust me.  It took me 10 years to find the man who made me believe once again my worth.  You will find that again.  You will find yourself again.  You cannot be any good for your children as an example of a strong man until you work on you FIRST!  Do this for your children NOW!

 

Lastly, as you were advised many times, DO NOT COMMUNICATE WITH HER AT ALL!!!!!  YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF IN A HEAP OF LEGAL TROUBLE WITH THE NO CONTACT RULING!!!!  You are not putting your children first if you are still communicating with her and BREAKING THE LAW!!

Edited April 28, 2017 by neilsqueen

[Joe&LuMa 77]

 

 

 

    TRY  THIS    : http://www.ailalawyer.org/

[TBoneTX 45,394]

A judgmental/noncontributory post has been removed.

[TheResistance 6]

I see some harshness towards me. I see some people trying to help. At least I have no been alone...

 

I went to InterAct of Raleigh. The person I spoke to was compassionate and, obviously heard so much of this, allowed me to take the time to talk. She said that a protective order would hold more weight, if needed, than the no contact. The second most difficult thing I had to do after getting her arrested, was signing the papers for the 10 day order. Now, along with her court date this Thursday that the DA said I should go (and when I see her I will fall apart), there is a date the following Monday (I am going to lose a lot of unpaid time off and will possible jeopardize my contract) to whether or not I want it extended a year.

 

After all this done to her, to the person she claims to have loved and trusted (although she never really did).

 

The courts may not allow her to go back with her family. She may now be stuck here.

 

Thursday will determine that.

 

Kids are happier now coming back over to my place.

 

For anyone saying that I will find someone better if this ends in divorce... trust me, even if she is out there she will not be with me. Not even going to try. Got other things to focus on now... like cleanup duty.

[EmilyW 1,443]

You see harshness, OP, because you have been consistently given good advice on this forum, which you consistently ignore.  There are good people on VJ who support everyone: but it gets monotonous when someone asks for advice, ignores it and then comes back asking for advice when it all goes wrong.

 

Please cut your ties with this woman.  Why will you fall apart when you see her?  Do you often fall apart when you see people who have abused your young children? 

[TheResistance 6]

2 hours ago, EmilyW said:

You see harshness, OP, because you have been consistently given good advice on this forum, which you consistently ignore.  There are good people on VJ who support everyone: but it gets monotonous when someone asks for advice, ignores it and then comes back asking for advice when it all goes wrong.

 

Please cut your ties with this woman.  Why will you fall apart when you see her?  Do you often fall apart when you see people who have abused your young children? 

Ignore? I think I have done a few things people have suggested.

Reread and do not judge me.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

8 hours ago, TheResistance said:

I see some harshness towards me. I see some people trying to help. At least I have no been alone...

 

I went to InterAct of Raleigh. The person I spoke to was compassionate and, obviously heard so much of this, allowed me to take the time to talk. She said that a protective order would hold more weight, if needed, than the no contact. The second most difficult thing I had to do after getting her arrested, was signing the papers for the 10 day order. Now, along with her court date this Thursday that the DA said I should go (and when I see her I will fall apart), there is a date the following Monday (I am going to lose a lot of unpaid time off and will possible jeopardize my contract) to whether or not I want it extended a year.

 

After all this done to her, to the person she claims to have loved and trusted (although she never really did).

 

The courts may not allow her to go back with her family. She may now be stuck here.

 

Thursday will determine that.

 

Kids are happier now coming back over to my place.

 

For anyone saying that I will find someone better if this ends in divorce... trust me, even if she is out there she will not be with me. Not even going to try. Got other things to focus on now... like cleanup duty.

FYI if she REALLY wants to go home, she can tell the jail to call ICE instead of being stuck here.  It's up to ICE at that point 

[EmilyW 1,443]

1 hour ago, TheResistance said:

Ignore? I think I have done a few things people have suggested.

Reread and do not judge me.

So you listened to people who told you no contact?  Ok.

[EmilyW 1,443]

Can't edit my post above, but just wanted to add...

 

OP, this woman has abused your children to the point that they will not be alone with her.  She has abused your children.  She has physically attacked you.  Divorce her.  Move on with your life.  What she does now should be irrelevant.  It's her problem.  Not yours, beyond divorcing her.

 

Focus on rebuilding your life and stop putting her front and center.  Focus on those kids.  Pick her over them and continue to obsess about her, and you will lose them.  And that is something you will regret.

[neilsqueen 433]

8 hours ago, TheResistance said:

I see some harshness towards me. I see some people trying to help. At least I have no been alone...

 

I went to InterAct of Raleigh. The person I spoke to was compassionate and, obviously heard so much of this, allowed me to take the time to talk. She said that a protective order would hold more weight, if needed, than the no contact. The second most difficult thing I had to do after getting her arrested, was signing the papers for the 10 day order. Now, along with her court date this Thursday that the DA said I should go (and when I see her I will fall apart), there is a date the following Monday (I am going to lose a lot of unpaid time off and will possible jeopardize my contract) to whether or not I want it extended a year.

 

After all this done to her, to the person she claims to have loved and trusted (although she never really did).

 

The courts may not allow her to go back with her family. She may now be stuck here.

 

Thursday will determine that.

 

Kids are happier now coming back over to my place.

 

For anyone saying that I will find someone better if this ends in divorce... trust me, even if she is out there she will not be with me. Not even going to try. Got other things to focus on now... like cleanup duty.

I'm so happy to see you have gotten some advise/help!!!!  When you do go to court, is it possible that you can take someone with you for moral support?  How about your pastor?  He has been privy to what you have been going through.  It will really help you if you have someone there with you that can be a shoulder to lean on.  You have some very deep wounds right now and you will need someone that can help you stay strong.  Just keep in mind how happy your children are now that she is not there.  Maybe you can even keep a picture of them in your pocket that you can pull out and glance at when you feel yourself breaking down.  Being a religious man, take time to read over the scriptures in Proverbs that speak of what a capable wife should be.  Review the accounts in Ephesians the role of each family member.  Read over in 1 Corinthians what love really is.  This is going to be your greatest strength that will get you through any hurdles!!  Look to the future and do not look back.  Remember, if you were in the fields plowing and you look back, what happens to your path ahead?  Keep your eyes focused forward!!  You have the perfect opportunity right now to work on YOU.  Next time you create a post, I pray it says how you and your precious children are thriving.  Best wishes to you!

 

[TheResistance 6]

1 hour ago, EmilyW said:

So you listened to people who told you no contact?  Ok.

I have not been the one to contact her. She has, before the court order, a couple of times being she is used to me taking care of her, and she needed some supplies from here. I have not heard her since she got served yesterday,

[Mary Lou 681]

1 hour ago, TheResistance said:

I have not been the one to contact her. She has, before the court order, a couple of times being she is used to me taking care of her, and she needed some supplies from here. I have not heard her since she got served yesterday,

What she needs isn't your problem now. Refuse to take her calls. No contact, means no contact.

Focus on you and your children, the courts will determine her destiny.

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

18 hours ago, TheResistance said:

I see some harshness towards me. I see some people trying to help. At least I have no been alone...

 

I went to InterAct of Raleigh. The person I spoke to was compassionate and, obviously heard so much of this, allowed me to take the time to talk. She said that a protective order would hold more weight, if needed, than the no contact. The second most difficult thing I had to do after getting her arrested, was signing the papers for the 10 day order. Now, along with her court date this Thursday that the DA said I should go (and when I see her I will fall apart), there is a date the following Monday (I am going to lose a lot of unpaid time off and will possible jeopardize my contract) to whether or not I want it extended a year.

 

After all this done to her, to the person she claims to have loved and trusted (although she never really did).

 

The courts may not allow her to go back with her family. She may now be stuck here.

 

Thursday will determine that.

 

Kids are happier now coming back over to my place.

 

For anyone saying that I will find someone better if this ends in divorce... trust me, even if she is out there she will not be with me. Not even going to try. Got other things to focus on now... like cleanup duty.

She Is NOT stuck here at all she can call the embassy in Washington to help her get home to the Phillipines if that's what she wishes. But as of right now that seems like her only way forward because she can not do AOS  without you unless she tries a VAWA try.

 

I honestly feel for you and your kids on this. She obviously hurt you all severely, but at least now your kids are safe and happy.

[TheResistance 6]

25 minutes ago, cyberfx1024 said:

She Is NOT stuck here at all she can call the embassy in Washington to help her get home to the Phillipines if that's what she wishes. But as of right now that seems like her only way forward because she can not do AOS  without you unless she tries a VAWA try.

 

I honestly feel for you and your kids on this. She obviously hurt you all severely, but at least now your kids are safe and happy.

That is one of the reasons they told me to do the protection order, to add weight that she is a problem.