Conditional Resident/AoS Divorce Advice Required

[Violet&Clay 0]

Quick summary: I knew my soon to be ex-husband for over 8 years, and I moved to the US from the UK in December 2015 on a K-1 Visa, I filed after we married and I got my Con. Green Card a few months later.

Fast forward a year to now, he has filed for a divorce - he cheated on me and because we're in the state of KY, you can get a 'no fault' divorce so I can't contest it in anyway - and he wants me to leave.

 

He's a very controlling man and is mentally and emotionally abusive, he wouldn't let me leave the apartment alone, thought I was cheating on him continuously(I would never) and he refused to let me get a bank account. He didn't want me to work for a long time, but then got angry that I wasn't, he lied to his mother and she thought I was 'being lazy'. His mother has told me that my soon-to-be ex husband has Asperger's and anger issues. I researched these and tried my hardest to work around how angry he was all the time. He has shoved me into a desk before from anger, and would continuously demand sex even when I said no/didn't want to. He would emotionally pressure me into it, as I knew he'd get angry if I didn't. Around Sept 2016, he met a girl on a video game called World of Warcraft, and I guess he wants to be with her instead. He spoke badly of me to his friends and family, and would get angry is I never looked happy all the time around him. The slightest hint of sadness would set him off into annoyance, always aimed at me.

 

I tried talking to his mother about it, and as I said before, this is when she told me about his Asperger's, and anger issues that he was apparently diagnosed with as a child, but he is in denial about it all, and blames me for how he acts. I feel so emotionally drained.

 

I have no job as he never allowed it, but recently he started yelling at me for not helping with bills, and he would spend a lot of money on unnecessary things and never on things we needed. Because of these things, I have no means of getting money as I have no bank, nor a job to get money (no Work Permit).

 

He left on the 15th of March 2017, to go spend a week with his 'new girlfriend' and he didn't think I know about it all, he told me I had to leave that night and if I didn't he'd have somebody 'forcibly remove me from the apartment' - I am on the lease, so I'm pretty sure he legally cannot do that... He left in a fit of rage. We hadn't been shopping for food in a week, so we were low on everything, and this was still true when he left. I texted him and told him I needed food, and he said "I will take you to get groceries tomorrow, so just chill out." this never happened.

 

I persistently and politely asked him for food, as at the point a few days later I had NOTHING. I later found out, that during this week where I was going without any food, he had spent over $700 on two hotels alone to have his girlfriend come and visit. He went out to eat every night and the amount of money he spent far exceed $1,000. (this information is important later)

 

I received my divorce papers a week after he left in March, but I had no way to respond, I have no money, we live far from any place to get to that I can print things off, and I have no money to even pay for these things. I told him several times I needed help, but he didn't respond at all. He finally got me food when I text his mother and she told him to get me food... enough for maybe 3 days at 1 meal a day. I asked for more, never received. I've taken photos and documented everything that's happened in case I need to use it.

 

I had to persist on asking for FOOD from this man, and he is refusing to communicate with me to make this easy. His mother thinks he's an angel and he can do nothing wrong to anyone, rose-tinted glasses and all. She refused to help me, and said that "You will get what food he can afford". As I previously mentioned, he spent well over $1,000 on his week with his new girl(2 weeks ago), but he can't scrape money for me to even eat and survive?

 

I know that the Affidavit of Support is there to enforce living above the 125% Pov. line, but I read that you have to be a PERMANENT RESIDENT, not a CONDITIONAL RESIDENT to sue for payments. Is this true? Do I have to wait until I can file for permanent residency next year before I can sue him in court for this neglect and abuse?

 

I'd like to add that he lied on the divorce papers about when he left/separated from me and the apartment. He left on March 15th. He claimed it was January 1st. 

 

I'm not too sure what I'm supposed to do really, I have a friend a few hours away and they can come and fetch me, but I don't know what I am to do. I can't afford an attorney or even food. It seems like he's trying to starve me and get me out of the apratment... he told his mother he'd change the locks if I left, even though I'm on the lease.

Also, he refused to change his address for the USCIS change of address for sponsors...

 

Does anyone know what I can do?

Do I need to be a permanent resident before I sue?

Can I file for permanent residency next year with the waiver as it was a genuine marriage, it just ended badly, and it had abuse in it?

Does he still have to provide for me even if I'm just a conditional resident for the time being?

 

I'm so lost and emotionally messed up right now, I've not seen him for 3 weeks and he has twisted everyone around me against me. Any help is appreciated, thank you. :/

 

Edited April 8, 2017 by Violet&Clay

[Mollie09 1,543]

You have a green card, you don't need a work permit.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Firstly, get yourself some emotional support.  I'd seek out support groups for victims of DV or emotional abuse.  Secondly, you can remove conditions on your own with a divorce waiver.

 

as for enforcement of the i-864 doubtful for that short a marriage.

[Wuozopo 4,293]

Some references to read

 

Getting support based on I-864. Yes you can sue. https://www.avvo.com/legal-guides/ugc/demanding-support-payments-under-the-i-864-affidavit-of-support

 

Learn about divorce in Kentucky and that you can request maintenance ($$) from you husband. Don't sign off on a divorce without knowing your rights. http://cordellcordell.com/resources/kentucky/kentucky-divorce-questions/

 

Contact one one of the social services groups in Kentucky and tell them your needs and ask if they can assist or help you find the services you need...food, shelter, legal services, counseling, job search. This is a place in Lexington http://thenestlexington.org/crisismanagement/

 

Decide if you would be better supported by returning to the UK or if you want to remain in the US. You are a permanent resident so don't let the "conditional" make you think you are less. You can remove conditions on your own. Gather evidence to show you entered the marriage in good faith.  Get a copy of the lease, marriage certificate, joint tax returns, mail addressed to both names. 

 

 

[Transborderwife 4,666]

4 hours ago, Wuozopo said:

Some references to read

 

Getting support based on I-864. Yes you can sue. https://www.avvo.com/legal-guides/ugc/demanding-support-payments-under-the-i-864-affidavit-of-support

 

Learn about divorce in Kentucky and that you can request maintenance ($$) from you husband. Don't sign off on a divorce without knowing your rights. http://cordellcordell.com/resources/kentucky/kentucky-divorce-questions/

 

Contact one one of the social services groups in Kentucky and tell them your needs and ask if they can assist or help you find the services you need...food, shelter, legal services, counseling, job search. This is a place in Lexington http://thenestlexington.org/crisismanagement/

 

Decide if you would be better supported by returning to the UK or if you want to remain in the US. You are a permanent resident so don't let the "conditional" make you think you are less. You can remove conditions on your own. Gather evidence to show you entered the marriage in good faith.  Get a copy of the lease, marriage certificate, joint tax returns, mail addressed to both names. 

 

 

He can divorce her without her signature.  From the link: 

What if my spouse does not want the divorce?

Since Kentucky is a no-fault state it does not matter if one spouse does not want the divorce. The court is required to enter a decree if only one spouse desires the divorce.

[Wuozopo 4,293]

38 minutes ago, Transborderwife said:

He can divorce her without her signature.  From the link: 

What if my spouse does not want the divorce?

Since Kentucky is a no-fault state it does not matter if one spouse does not want the divorce. The court is required to enter a decree if only one spouse desires the divorce.

Yes, that is correct. 

Not sure why you are telling me that.

?????

 

 

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Just now, Wuozopo said:

Yes, that is correct. 

Not sure why you are telling me that.

?????

 

 

You told her not to sign off on a divorce without knowing her rights, chances are he could get one without her even knowing 

[Wuozopo 4,293]

Just now, Transborderwife said:

You told her not to sign off on a divorce without knowing her rights, chances are he could get one without her even knowing 

Oh, I see. I didn't mean a literal signature. I simply meant don't just let it happen without finding out how she might ask the court for some monthly maintenance money from him. Sorry for not using proper Queen's English. 

[Transborderwife 4,666]

1 minute ago, Wuozopo said:

Oh, I see. I didn't mean a literal signature. I simply meant don't just let it happen without finding out how she might ask the court for some monthly maintenance money from him. Sorry for not using proper Queen's English. 

Gotcha.  

[QueenComley 295]

What an awful situation. Honestly, If I was in this position I would return back to the UK and start afresh. You have already stated your not working, no money, you are in the middle of nowhere. Your husband is a cheat, controlling and abusive. Do you have a good support network back in the UK to consider this as an option?

[ndifonman 6]

First thing first is to get a job! You have a green card so you can use it to search for job. Get something doing no matter how little. I am surprised that you allowed him to talk you into not getting your own source of income even with the red flags you've seen. Anyway, I think you getting a job first will be the best thing to do now in other to raise some funds because even if you decide to go back to UK or get a lawyer, you will need money.

[Ryan H 3,812]

***Moved from Removing Conditions on Residency Discussion to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits forum.  One off topic and inflammatory post removed; either answer the OP's questions or do not post.***

[f f 725]

17 hours ago, Violet&Clay said:

he cheated on me and because we're in the state of KY, you can get a 'no fault' divorce so I can't contest it in anyway

only if both parties agree to it. all you have to do is not agree that no one was at fault. you never have to sign anything you do not want to sign and definitely get your own lawyer to look over anything he asks you to sign.

 

good luck

[Transborderwife 4,666]

6 minutes ago, f f said:

only if both parties agree to it. all you have to do is not agree that no one was at fault. you never have to sign anything you do not want to sign and definitely get your own lawyer to look over anything he asks you to sign.

 

good luck

He can obtain a divorce without her consent in Kentucky 

[f f 725]

but to do that he would of has to claim abandonment. I guess i am out of my area of expertise. I just find it hard to believe he could get a no fault divorce without giving her a chance to claim damages.