Interview - October 2016 Filer. What?!?! HELP

[QueenOfBlades 224]

I think it's the randomness and unexpectedness of it too that triggered me. I didn't expect it to happen. 

Do you think it's worth taking a lawyer? I haven't used one from the start of the K1 process, but my anxiety wasn't as bad then. My husband worries it'll make us look dodgy if we suddenly lawyer up and doesn't see a reason it won't be approved, but worries about me and wants me to feel better.

 

I also worry about a Stokes interview. I'm thinking of all potential red flags in our case. He hasn't worked for years (USC) and I have a really good job. I made a thread here last year about marital issues. We still have the third person in our lives and will be all moving soon. We don't want to divorce at this time. Truth be told, we have been doing better than we have in a long time. Before this letter came today, we were planning to marathon Pawn Stars and play World of Warcraft.  We text every day while I work. We do pretty much everything together. That said, we sleep in separate beds and sex isn't a big part of our marriage and hasn't been for a while. Without being too personal, he has issues with depression, restless leg and sleep apnea. With my sensitivity due to ADHD, it would constantly distract me, I couldnt sleep, it would cause fights. The medicines I've begun taking have reduced my libido, he has issues in the sack and isn't confident about it or really enjoys it anymore. With the personal things we deal with (he's likely autistic too) it's just not been a priority for us. We prefer to get dinner, talk, laugh, marathon Netflix, cuddle, pop each other's pimples or perform weird medical exams when needed. I just feel they are going to look at the bad, but I love him and couldn't be without him. He is my rock. 

 

The medicine I've been taking has helped me a lot but it's an ongoing process to get the right type. Before this though, I'm usually a fairly successful businesswoman running 15 international publications. I get sent a picture of the letter from my husband, it sets off a panic switch and I've been in a severe state of anxiety and skin picking since. 

[cdneh 3,112]

3 minutes ago, QueenOfBlades said:

I think it's the randomness and unexpectedness of it too that triggered me. I didn't expect it to happen. 

Do you think it's worth taking a lawyer? I haven't used one from the start of the K1 process, but my anxiety wasn't as bad then. My husband worries it'll make us look dodgy if we suddenly lawyer up and doesn't see a reason it won't be approved, but worries about me and wants me to feel better.

 

I also worry about a Stokes interview. I'm thinking of all potential red flags in our case. He hasn't worked for years (USC) and I have a really good job. I made a thread here last year about marital issues. We still have the third person in our lives and will be all moving soon. We don't want to divorce at this time. Truth be told, we have been doing better than we have in a long time. Before this letter came today, we were planning to marathon Pawn Stars and play World of Warcraft.  We text every day while I work. We do pretty much everything together. That said, we sleep in separate beds and sex isn't a big part of our marriage and hasn't been for a while. Without being too personal, he has issues with depression, restless leg and sleep apnea. With my sensitivity due to ADHD, it would constantly distract me, I couldnt sleep, it would cause fights. The medicines I've begun taking have reduced my libido, he has issues in the sack and isn't confident about it or really enjoys it anymore. With the personal things we deal with (he's likely autistic too) it's just not been a priority for us. We prefer to get dinner, talk, laugh, marathon Netflix, cuddle, pop each other's pimples or perform weird medical exams when needed. I just feel they are going to look at the bad, but I love him and couldn't be without him. He is my rock. 

 

The medicine I've been taking has helped me a lot but it's an ongoing process to get the right type. Before this though, I'm usually a fairly successful businesswoman running 15 international publications. I get sent a picture of the letter from my husband, it sets off a panic switch and I've been in a severe state of anxiety and skin picking since. 

As  you say, it's just random and the suddenness of it has set you off. It's difficult with things like immigration, it isn't a process you can strictly control. I don't think you need a lawyer. You are going to have to find a way to try and calm your mind from running away with you. It's just a regular interview for ROC, I don't think you are facing a Stokes  interview! I'm sorry to see you are in such distress.

 

And earlier, when I said you haven't got to go for Citizenship, you haven't got to. You can renew your ten year green card forever and not have to stress ever again about interviews or tests.

[Stevephoto 230]

I sympathize with you. I agree with others. I read a post a long time ago (sorry I do not have the link) that showed statistics for ROC interviews. Some were pulled purely at random, because there needs to be a certain per cent of interviews by law. You drew the short straw as mentioned above. Focus on what ROC is: evidence of co-mingling of assets. I am quite sure that other couples have similar financial situations where the USC is not the primary financial support. IF (which I doubt) your personal bedroom life comes up, then just say what you said said here: that your husband's restlessness creates difficulties for you to sleep. Perhaps you can bring an affidavit from both your therapist and your husband's physician to support this IF they ask about it. Maybe your therapist can give you a BRIEF outline of your condition (ADHD, etc.) that you can have ready IF you think you had a bad interview. I do not have the credentials that Bolin786 has, but I like imagery, so my NONPROFESSIONAL advice would be to imagine yourself at a very successful creative meeting for one of your many publications--you are in control and you are handling things beautifully--the ROC interview is just another routine meeting where you know all of the answers (disclaimer: I have been a school psychologist for 30 years and taught counseling and Cognitive Behavior Therapy to graduate students for 10 years--but I am NOT licensed and have NEVER been licensed in any state for private work). Best of luck to you.

[nightingalejules 678]

Just wanted to drop in with some more encouragement, if it helps. We're all here pulling for you and wishing you well. Try to picture everything going perfectly, and to convince yourself that this early interview is a lucky (rather than unlucky) break. You can handle this!

[QueenOfBlades 224]

Thanks guys, the encouragement really does help. Unfortunately I can't pull my therapist apppointment forward as they're closed next week for the Masters. I'm trying to call my PCP to see if they can do anything. 

[QueenOfBlades 224]

Well.. no to the therapist. Some of the supplemental anxiety medicines I take, I

will increase to the max prescribed dose before I see my psych on April 12 and discuss the change in circumstances. Hopefully I will get this flare up under control before the interview... *sigh* going in there anxious, panicking, with ADHD brain fog causing me to forget things isn't going to give the best impression. 

[Derwood 203]

1 hour ago, QueenOfBlades said:

Thanks guys, the encouragement really does help. Unfortunately I can't pull my therapist apppointment forward as they're closed next week for the Masters. I'm trying to call my PCP to see if they can do anything. 

When is your interview?

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

***** One rude, non-contributory post and reply removed.  Post with constructive advice for the Op or do not post. *****

[shinebright 5]

I can relate, I have anxiety too and even though I wasn't that nervous for my AOS interview I left as a mess and bawled my eyes out in the car on the way home, it was horrible!
But it turned out okay and I'm sure you'll be okay too, your husband seems like great support, he can help make the interview go smooth. You don't need to lawyer up, I did for my AOS interview and he didn't even had to be there, it was more for moral support because I wasn't that confident in my English skills. Now, the ROC should be easier.

 

I would try to see the positive side to this, I think we all need to have at least one interview and that's why you got chosen. Embrace this as a faster process than the rest of us, it'll be over before you know it!
Good luck, sending positive vibes for you!

[QueenOfBlades 224]

On 31/03/2017 at 1:13 PM, Derwood said:

When is your interview?

May 10

[Cr5meBrulee 3]

On 4/1/2017 at 2:22 PM, QueenOfBlades said:

May 10

Sorry to hear about this. Could it be that you've gotten selected for interview one automatically because your AOS interview was waived? Hope you feel better, I was under a lot of stress two years ago as the process was taking so long. I had recently lost my job a few weeks before going to our interview but the lady was so nice to us and made us feel very comfortable. We got approved on the spot. I'd think that the I-751 interview would be even easier.

[QueenOfBlades 224]

20 hours ago, Cr5meBrulee said:

Sorry to hear about this. Could it be that you've gotten selected for interview one automatically because your AOS interview was waived? Hope you feel better, I was under a lot of stress two years ago as the process was taking so long. I had recently lost my job a few weeks before going to our interview but the lady was so nice to us and made us feel very comfortable. We got approved on the spot. I'd think that the I-751 interview would be even easier.

Thank you. It could be in part because my AOS interview was waived. I also think it might be because, after a lot of discussion with my husband, we didn't send enough primary evidence. No joint utilities, no lease (beyond one for a couple of months at the start of 2014). We live with his mum so we don't have that. We sent a ton of other stuff, life insurance with him as beneficiary,  health insurance from my work with him on, two car purchases, car loan in both our names, joint bank account, me as an authorised user on his CC, affidavits, photos, gym membership and bills with both our name on and the check ins. 

We also included however, explanations for what we included and what we couldn't, and why. I think because of this and because they knew we didn't have it, it was deemed pointless to RFE and they just decided to pull us in for an interview to discuss it in person.

Still no idea why mine was pulled so early though, nor can I say I'm 100% certain why I'm being interviewed. So I'm still very nervous, but I do believe the above is the case. I'm just not having a blind panic attack chewing all the skin from my fingers. I hope my medication can be changed to be more helpful before the interview. I don't want to come off as dodgy. As I've said before though, I'm the kind of person that'll feel guilty if a cop car is behind me even though I've done nothing illegal. I felt guilty at an interview for my own British passport where the aim was to prove that I am.. me. Clearly I was, but I was still so anxious. After my K1 interview, without TMI, I had IBS with stress and anxiety and spent a good while in the Embassy still once the interview was done. It's just never been easy for me that way.

At the K1, the whole time, I kept replaying over and over in my head, what if I'm denied. My husband (then fiancé) was staying in England with me and we were due to go back in December. The idea of being left alone without him for another 6 months to a year was terrifying. The idea of being split from my family always has been. That's the root cause of my anxiety now, not wanting to be parted from my family. That's even though the UK is one of the lowest fraud countries there is. I don't know what they'll ask. I guess we will see.

Edited April 3, 2017 by QueenOfBlades

[Ketsuban 1,034]

Most people get ROC even with an interview and you're from a low fraud country.

[Cr5meBrulee 3]

I hear you, I am guilty of that sometimes too. At least you are getting your case worked on a lot faster than most :). Did you ever get a status update or did the letter just showed up in the mail?

[QueenOfBlades 224]

13 hours ago, Cr5meBrulee said:

I hear you, I am guilty of that sometimes too. At least you are getting your case worked on a lot faster than most :). Did you ever get a status update or did the letter just showed up in the mail?

They sent the letter on March 27, it arrived on March 30, the status updated a few days after the 30th