Dealing with a very spiteful ex whilst my ROC date is looming. Should I find a lawyer?

[plinkabob 7]

Do you think she would be willing to work with someone in Nashville? I guy I got the quote from was in Alabama so I probably wouldn't have met him in person.

[Villanelle 4,122]

For a conditional GC- its issued and 'expires' after 2 years. You MUST submit the 751 petition before the card expires to obtain an extension on your resident status while they process your petition. The saying is theres a 'window' that opens allowing you to submit your form before the card expires. Its a 90 day window. So you can submit your petition any day in the 90 day window period. 

 

However when a special situation occurs (like using one of the waiver options- including divorce) it gives you the ability to open the window yourself- at any time. So you can send in your packet before the 90 day window if you want to. You dont have to. As long as you submit it before the card expires, you are fine.

 

As for using an attny- its really a personal preference. I dont really like to lean people towards them or away from them. Unless its an obvious case where one is needed. Everyone has different finances- so for some its not a big deal to pay for an attny, for others its a huge hardship. Any immigration attny CAN file a ROC packet. But not every attny is competent enough to represent someone in immigration court. (think more like all doctors are doctors but youd only want certain doctors to do heart surgery- just being a doctor doesnt mean you should heart surgery!) So its the same with immigration attnys. Filing the initial ROC packet is fairly simple and there doesnt seem to be an obvious need for an attny to file it unless she needs help understanding it and assembling it. 

 

After the packet is filed it will be reviewed. If they are not satisfied they will send an RFE. At this point some people obtain an attny because it means their packet was weak, and they may not have the additional evidence requested. An attny can help draft an explanation to satisfy USCIS. (or you can do it on your own). Then the RFE is sent back. If they are still not happy (or you are randomly selected) you will get called for an interview. Here again some people choose this point to hire an attny. Technically they are not of much use in the interview as they cant answer questions but being there can help. If you are denied you will go to immigration court. This is where you absolutely want to have an attny as the procedures are difficult and very technical. 

 

So there are many points in the process where you can choose to involve an attny- and depending on which part you are caught up in- you want to find the right one. The quote of 1200$ may just be for the initial filing and not to accompany on an interview or go to court if it comes to it. So it can cost a whole lot more if it goes that way. Some people prefer to save money towards using the attny for the if or when things get 'rough'. For many people doing a divorce waiver a big issue is they are pending divorce and dont have the final decree yet. This makes things more complicated and many get an attny at the beginning because of that- but you have a final decree right? So you dont have that issue....

 

If you were a joint holder on the bank account you should be able to obtain copies of the past statements. If they have a branch near you you can go there in person and ask. If not your only option is calling them on the phone. 

 

For the lease- was there ever any official lease written out? If so you can ask the landlord for a copy. If not, he can give you a simple statement saying I rented Mr and Mrs a place during X to Y dates. If you can not get that from him or dont want to- look at the divorce papers to see what was mentioned about joint residence. If it ends up thats all you have as proof of lease/joint residence youll probably be okay. You will have to submit an affidavit- basically your own written statement explaining the proof you have and what you are lacking and why. 

 

Lots of things count as proof of joint residence including mail and bills and taxes. Look through your AOS packet. You may have a copy of his drivers license that you submitted with it. 

[TBoneTX 45,291]

Did you ever draft a will, or general/medical powers of attorney?  Official documents like these make great evidence.

[caliliving 606]

7 hours ago, plinkabob said:

Hey everyone,

 

My ex husband and I were married in November 2014 and lived in Chicago together for two years. Without going to in too much detail, we separated in November 2016 and consequently divorced soon after.

 

He is now being very spiteful and is accusing me of marrying him for a green card (completely untrue) and has told me that he has called USCIS to report me. 

 

I left our home in Chicago and moved to Nashville in quite a hurry and he is refusing to let me come back to collect anything that I left behind. Unfortunately all of the bills in both our names and anything official that links us in that way, is there. I have plenty of evidence as far as anniversary cards, wedding invitations from others, little notes we would send each other and things like that (I'm very sentimental) but I am worried that I may be rejected.

 

Also, I have had a read through some of the topics on here and have seen that I will have to file on my own. This is a relief, as I have had to block my ex in order to stop getting his abusive messages and the idea of asking him to do anything towards this is quite scary to me. I just have no idea how to go about this. I would love to get some recommendations for an immigration lawyer as there are so many and a lot of them will charge you hundreds of dollars just for a consultation. Do you think I should hire a lawyer or will I be able to do this on my own?

 

Also, on another note, I would like to buy a house here in Nashville and am a little worried about my visa status. Am I going to have to wait until I have my conditions removed? It's all so very confusing and seeming to all happen at once. 

 

Any advice or just a link to a similar story would be so very appreciated.

 

Thank you so much in advance.

 

Stay happy!

you arent the first spouse nor last to get in a fight and the USC says 'u only married me for a greencard' happens all the time here when i fight and i have been married for 5yrs lol.

 

tbh u r from the Uk a SUPER SUPER low fraud country!!!!!!! i have never seen a story about a UK person getting denied from ROC.  very very slim chance... i would divorce, collect evidence and ROC on your own.  

 

the UK is such a low low fraud country.. as long as u prepare ur package correctly u really have no chance of being deported

 

[caliliving 606]

4 hours ago, plinkabob said:

Do you think she would be willing to work with someone in Nashville? I guy I got the quote from was in Alabama so I probably wouldn't have met him in person.

i dont think u need a lawyer.. read stories here, prepare a package and front load.  UK citizens have a very low chance of fraud. the US government understand divorces happen.  also, if u do get a rejection it would be a RFE for more evidence, at that point u could hire a lawyer.

if you were from a high fraud country i would highly highly hire a lawyer.

 

also, how long did u date before u got married? did u meet each other family? kids?  

[Georgia16 2,858]

Have you contacted any of the places where you had joint stuff to see if you can get a print out of some papers with the names on it?

 

The same with tax returns. It's also yours not just his so therefore you are also allowed to request it from them.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

13 hours ago, plinkabob said:

Oh wow. I had no idea that was a thing. When we broke up it was all amicable so I had no idea that he would deny access to me. He kept all the furniture and the things we had bought together, simply because I couldn't fit much in my car. The house was never in our name, though I do know the landlord. I don't really want to get him involved though. The only thing that worries me is the joint utility bills as that is a more concrete bit of evidence than a few love letters and birthday cards. I have kept ALL of our conversations, including the really nasty ones as i figured I could just show that he is being a very bitter man. I have no plans to return to Chicago to retrieve these things. Perhaps I can call the utility people and ask for copies? I am no longer on the account though so I may no be able to.

 

 

Could you get them online or call the utility company to get copies of back statements?

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

16 hours ago, Private One said:

I sympathize with anyone who had a genuine marriage that fell apart like others do but have to put up with vengeful claims such as the one you're going through.

 

I'm putting in my 2 cents and it's not sugar coated. The burden of proof will be on you and from what I'm reading it seems like you have a very weak case. 

 

You said: "When we broke up it was all amicable so I had no idea that he would deny access to me"

That indicates abuse was not a factor. If there was some kind of abuse, it doesn't sound like you have the evidence to back it up (police records etc.)

 

You said: "Unfortunately all of the bills in both our names and anything official that links us in that way, is there. I have plenty of evidence as far as anniversary cards, wedding invitations from others..."

 

That's not good. 2 years of marriage usually produces a lot more than that. I'm not saying your marriage was a sham but the burden of proof is on you and you have very weak evidence. What about tax returns? What about health insurance, life insurance? You mentioned a car. Wasn't it in both your names (insurance, registration etc)? Doesn't sound like you have kids together. You have to find a way to produce a lot more evidence if you are to be successful at removing your conditions.

 

Good Luck!

I agree!!

Find a good lawyer, your case is not a DIY

[Private One 44]

14 hours ago, plinkabob said:

Do you think she would be willing to work with someone in Nashville? I guy I got the quote from was in Alabama so I probably wouldn't have met him in person.

This probably would be impractical and end up costing you a lot more. You'll need to factor in the cost of travel for interview purposes. 

[Private One 44]

9 hours ago, caliliving said:

i dont think u need a lawyer.. read stories here, prepare a package and front load.  UK citizens have a very low chance of fraud. the US government understand divorces happen.  also, if u do get a rejection it would be a RFE for more evidence, at that point u could hire a lawyer.

if you were from a high fraud country i would highly highly hire a lawyer.

 

also, how long did u date before u got married? did u meet each other family? kids?  

Should you or should not you not get an attorney? There are those who'll say you should and there are those who will say you shouldn't. 

 

@caliliving said: "...the US government understand divorces happen" 

That's true, but they also know that there's a lot of fraud. 

 

I went into my interview with this "they understand this, and they know that" mentality and it almost denied me a GC. 

 

I'd filed a marriage based AOS application 8 years before but never went to the initial interview (at the advice of my lawer) because the marriage fell apart very quickly. We weren't even living together at the time of the scheduled interview. We both weren't ready for marriage.  

 

Fast Forward to my second AOS attempt.

 

@plinkabob: Our cases are not the same but I went through what you're going through right now with the considerations for an attorney. I was broke and conflicted so I ask around for advice. I ask friends, family and others who went through the AOS process. I was told "it would be a waste of money...you don't need one". Everyone told me the same thing. "Your marriage is real, you have nothing to worry about". I voiced concerns about the first marriage because it had ended so quickly. No one thought it would have been a factor. It was 8 years prior to when I remarried. "You were young, in love and stupid" is what they told me. "This is life sometimes, they'll understand that" so I we went ahead without an attorney.

 

I had reservations about my previous marriage but we went into the interview with confidence. The only supporting evidence we had was joint bank accounts, joint car insurance, joint health insurance and a boatload of photos. The immigration officer (IO) was dead serious from the get go. He looked angry. The interview started with the normal swearing in which was calm. That's all the calm there would be. Things went down south when he asked for our evidence. "That's it? That's all you guys have? Why are you not prepared? "This is insulating...you guys are not ready" The IO should very little interest in what we had. He was only interested in what we did not have. He ask about utility bills, apartment lease and a whole lot of other things we just did not have. I explained that my pre-marriage lease was still in effect so my wife's name isn't on there. We didn't make updating utility bills to reflect both out names a priority because it's not important to us. He interrupted and said it was important to this process and we should have done it. I told him we attempted to get her name on "my" cell phone plan to make use of her employee discount but that required breaking my contract and paying a hefty termination fee for each line so we decided against it. I explained that we are on the same cell phone plan, her name is just not on the account. He said that it doesn't matter I should have brought the bills anyway. I tried focusing on the evidence we actually had but he wasn't having it. 

 

He then began to question both me and my wife about my first marriage. He asked me straight up, "was it fraud", "did you do it for immigration benefits?" Of course, the answer is no, so I said "no". He ask my wife a series of ridiculous questions about my ex wife. I'm very sure that an attorney would have objected to most of the questions but I also doubt that the IO would have gone that far in the presence of an attorney. 

 

The interview was coming to an end and we felt defeated. I believed we were saved by this one last question. He looked at one of the documents we handed him and saw a NJ address on there so he asked, "who lives in New Jersey?". I answered it was my wife before we got married and that began a very long conversation about the sacrifices my wife made and everything she went through for us to be together in NY. She gave up a lot. There was no benefit for her other than love. 

 

The interview was over. The IO asked us to wait outside. We left his office thinking the same thing. We'll need to come back. We started to regret not having an attorney. We waited for about 10 mins before the IO called us to the counter. We assumed we were going to be given a date for a follow up interview but instead heard "I'll be approving your case". Totally unexpected. Without a doubt, that last question he asked us during the interview made all the difference. 

 

If I had a chance to do this over, I would do it with a lawyer. We would have been much better prepared and a lot of the questions we were asked would have been blocked or probably not asked in the first place.

 

You may end up with a very nice and understanding IO but you could also end up getting one from hell. Every case is different. Every officer is different. You can take your chances or you can play it safe.

 

[Harmonia 211]

A lawyer won't be able to magically produce evidence. You will need to do that on your own and give it to the attorney. I don't think you need one if you can compile the records.

 

You should be able to call the bank, the utility company, the credit card company, the health insurance company, etc and get copies.  You can request IRS tax transcripts on your own, too. 

[Private One 44]

6 minutes ago, Harmonia said:

A lawyer won't be able to magically produce evidence. You will need to do that on your own and give it to the attorney. I don't think you need one if you can compile the records.

 

You should be able to call the bank, the utility company, the credit card company, the health insurance company, etc and get copies.  You can request IRS tax transcripts on your own, too. 

Of course, a lawyer won't be able to produce evidence. However, people tend to overlook certain things or cast them aside as irrelevant as was the case with me. A lawyer will definitely help with preparation / gathering of evidence that's in existence but that's only one aspect. Let's not forget a key part in all of this. Her ex called USCIS and reported the marriage be one that was not entered to in good faith. We don't know what was said. What if he was very convincing? What if he told a compelling story? If the story he gave sounded credible enough, even if it's false, it could really hurt @plinkabob if she goes in unprepared. An experienced attorney will help prepare her for various scenarios. 

 

I think @IcezMan_IcezLady said it best - "this is not a Do It Yourself case". 

[Harmonia 211]

1 hour ago, Private One said:

Of course, a lawyer won't be able to produce evidence. However, people tend to overlook certain things or cast them aside as irrelevant as was the case with me. A lawyer will definitely help with preparation / gathering of evidence that's in existence but that's only one aspect. Let's not forget a key part in all of this. Her ex called USCIS and reported the marriage be one that was not entered to in good faith. We don't know what was said. What if he was very convincing? What if he told a compelling story? If the story he gave sounded credible enough, even if it's false, it could really hurt @plinkabob if she goes in unprepared. An experienced attorney will help prepare her for various scenarios. 

 

I think @IcezMan_IcezLady said it best - "this is not a Do It Yourself case". 

I said, if the OP can gather the evidence, she likely doesn't need an attorney.

 

It seems you couldn't gather it. You didn't have basic evidence like utility bills or a lease. If you spend some time reading on this forum, utility bills and a lease are basic pieces of evidence that you need for ROC. 

 

No, there isn't "a lot of fraud" for ROC as you stated. Check out the USCIS statistics. There's actually very  little fraud and denied ROC as long as someone does the process and produces the requested evidence. Your case is a bit different because you overstayed, started and didn't finish AOS, and then were poorly prepared for AOS the 2nd time. The OP has a different case, ROC v. AOS, and hasn't overstayed. Its always a smart move to do a consult with one more more attorneys, but it isn't always necessary to retain one. 

 

If USCIS had a dollar every time a disgruntled ex called to try and deport their ex spouse, then they would be able to lower the fees we all pay! 

Edited March 22, 2017 by Harmonia

[Private One 44]

1 hour ago, Harmonia said:

I said, if the OP can gather the evidence, she likely doesn't need an attorney.

 

It seems you couldn't gather it. You didn't have basic evidence like utility bills or a lease. If you spend some time reading on this forum, utility bills and a lease are basic pieces of evidence that you need for ROC. 

 

No, there isn't "a lot of fraud" for ROC as you stated. Check out the USCIS statistics. There's actually very  little fraud and denied ROC as long as someone does the process and produces the requested evidence. Your case is a bit different because you overstayed, started and didn't finish AOS, and then were poorly prepared for AOS the 2nd time. The OP has a different case, ROC v. AOS, and hasn't overstayed. Its always a smart move to do a consult with one more more attorneys, but it isn't always necessary to retain one. 

 

If USCIS had a dollar every time a disgruntled ex called to try and deport their ex spouse, then they would be able to lower the fees we all pay! 

I'm not here to start senseless arguments or go off topic. You're one who seem to have misunderstand my previous post. 

You said: "It seems you couldn't gather it. You didn't have basic evidence like utility bills or a lease. If you spend some time reading on this forum, utility bills and a lease are basic pieces of evidence that you need for ROC." 

 

My lack of evidence pertained to my AOS interview and not ROC which is still pending. I have not had an issue with ROC. I've already acknowledged that our cases are different. I never said that there's a lot of fraud for ROC specifically. I was speaking of the process in general.

 

I'm sticking with my opinion in saying that this case isn't a do it yourself case. You may think otherwise, but you're entitled to your opinion and I respect that. I don't understand why anyone will discourage someone in a situation such as this from getting an attorney (speaking in general). There aren't many options left for Plinkabob if this does not go well...why take the chance?

 

Ultimately, the decision lies with her. 

[Villanelle 4,122]

This thread is getting a little tense... lets all try to take a step back so the mods dont have to intervene.

 

Its important to remember everyone has different experiences which impact the type of advice they dole out. Unless one is a psychic- no one can say for sure what the best course of action will be for plinky. 

 

There are some things that are true for anyone in the ROC process. You have MANY opportunities to employ the services of an attny. I actually detailed them out in my last post. So choosing whether or not to hire an attny for ROC is not 'do it at the beginning or else you can never have one'.  You can start it yourself and employ one later on if needed. Or you can employ them from the start. Or you can never employ one. 

 

As others have stated if you are able to assemble the packet yourself- you do not absolutely need one to file. If you can not assemble it, you should get help (from either VJ or an attny). Plinky does appear to need help figuring out how to gather what is needed and how to assemble it. She needs guidance- this can be found by doing research on VJ and asking questions- or direct help from an attny. The choice is going to be hers. 

 

On a side note- there is truth to everything that everyone has posted so far. Yes, the USCIS is understanding but at the same time they have requirements. You almost have to look at it like being able to see the forest beyond the trees. Everyone is going to have different things as evidence. There is NO master list of documents to get approved. If there was, it would be way too easy for people to commit fraud by simply generating items check list style. Instead USCIS looks at all the individual "trees" to see if they make a "forest". 

 

When you leave out documents- like utility bills or joint leases it raises a question of why they were omitted and they why does matter. Its OK if the bills are not joint. Many utility companies will not add a spouse on to the account. But theres a difference between showing a bill in only one spouses name and explaining they are not on it for whatever reason, and not showing any bill. The invisible bill may be joint with another person. The invisible bill may be being paid by someone else. When someone doesnt 'show' something it leads to suspicion as there is usually a reason why its kept hidden. 

 

So its best to just lay everything out there. Show it all and explain everything. Never assume USCIS will connect the dots. They dont and wont. 

 

(I also  didnt address the part about the ex calling and reporting her because its a non issue. Unless he has strong documentation- it wont impact directly. She can address the fact that he complained, but it should be done in a roundabout way. Writing an affidavit explaining the marriage and breakdown and his "I hate you now" attitude change.)