Your quality of life in America

[Satisfaction 1]

Economically better. Materially better. Socially worse.

Back home in Fr. Guiana, making friends is easy and going out is part of our way of life. Doors are never closed. Family and friends stop by virtually whenever they please, mostly unannounced. Perhaps the warm weather and the high unemployment rate can explain that "lay-back" attitude!? As opposed to here, nature and people come to life when the sun sets. Although wildlife is ever present in the rainforest, it tends to be rather discreet during the day, and considerably more active at night. I suppose that people have adjusted their lifestyle to the rythm of nature.

On the good side, Guyanese are usually easy-going, open-minded and hospitable. This is in part because the population is a great mosaic of cultures, and because contacts with oustiders are still scarce - and often celebrated - events. I find people here generally more introverted and often indifferent. I don't want to generalize though, I'm only giving my personal impression. On the bad side, Guyanese are slow and never rush to do anything. Ordering food at a deli or in a restaurant proves to be a daunting experience! (an hour wait sometimes... )

All in all, and to summarize, life here is not so good but not so bad either. Things are OK. What I miss the most is my family, friends, and the nature which I grew up surrounded with. Guyana is a heaven on earth for all nature-lovers. The rainforest covers 90 % of the territory and is the last unspoiled areas of natural beauty left on the planet. There is nothing more beautiful to me than the majestic and enigmatic forest...

[shakysgirl 1]

The only thing that is better here for us is the size of our house here- in the UK our house would probably be worth in excess of 300,000 GBP. In the US, it's just a typical house. But my husband made much better money there than he will probably end up making in this area, and my job was high demand in the UK and I'd have made much more there than here. We also had a nice social network over there that we don't have here. My family is here which is nice, but his isn't so it just sort of balances itself out in that regard.

We will move back to the UK when my daughter is out of school, more than likely. Our baby will spend half his school years in the US and the other half in the UK.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

I'm a little surprised to see people commenting that the U.S. doesn't respect foreign job applicants and foreign degrees, because my experience was that things are much the same or even worse in that sense, in Europe. In certain places in Europe they won't even let you be a cleaner or shop clerk if you are a foreigner unless you get a certificate of training from a local school, and sometimes they require you to be a naturalized citizen! I am a member of a couple of international online forums where people are constantly complaining about that.

Know this is old, but have to absolutely agree.

That has to be my number one biggest problem with Germany. Why the hell you have to have at least a one year, slave wage ausbildung just to stock shelves at a supermarket is beyond me. Of course, you can get around that by accepting working basically full-time for 400€ instead. Yeah, fanfuckingtastic. Once you get an ausbildung or a degree in something, you have to do EXACTLY that. There is no flexiblity here. And then you have very little chance to change careers later in life, like if you are laid off, for example. Almost no university offers night or weekend courses and the ones that do, you are very limited in your choices of study. Things are only open generally between 8am-8pm and nothing is open on Sunday. Little chance to get a part-time job at night to help support yourself if you have to go to school/ausbildung during the day. It is a joke here.

[Yodrak 7]

Rodjanaa has found that the USA, at least our piece of it, more than meets her expectations in terms of the lifestyle, the opportunities, and the personal freedoms it offers. Personal freedom not in the legal sense, but in a cultural and societal sense - free of constraining expectations, which must be lived up to, imposed by society.

Yodrak

For those of us who have given up a lot to come here, how do you find your quality of life compared to back home?

For me, my quality of life here is significantly worse than back home in the material sense at least. And I guess at heart, I'm really a big city girl and miss London. ...

Edited October 4, 2006 by Yodrak

[homesick_american 1]

I'm a little surprised to see people commenting that the U.S. doesn't respect foreign job applicants and foreign degrees, because my experience was that things are much the same or even worse in that sense, in Europe. In certain places in Europe they won't even let you be a cleaner or shop clerk if you are a foreigner unless you get a certificate of training from a local school, and sometimes they require you to be a naturalized citizen! I am a member of a couple of international online forums where people are constantly complaining about that. And of course there are some occupations requiring certification where it would be hard to transfer that certification internationally almost anywhere without a local degree or certification, like nursing, electrician work, teaching,etc. So please don't make it sound like the United States is the only country that doesn't recognize certain foreign degrees and qualifications.

AMEN. I've experienced some educational prejudice, what you're saying is 100% true. I haven't had to take menial jobs but I've been penalized for not having any O/A levels. I explain to recruiters that we don't have those in the USA, but they don't listen. They tell me to get them here. O/A levels are for 16 and 18 year-olds, respectively. Basically it would be like repeating my high school exams. Since I have a college degree, I don't feel the need to do that but they still ask.

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

Close friends and family members can't be replaced, but so many of the other things can. Many of the issues I think the foreign spouse has can be resolved by living in a different area. There are so many places in America to choose from. I have been fortunate enough to experience the best of city life as well as rural life, each offers different things and it is down to personal preference and a bit of give and take to be happy in one area or the other. The opportunity for change is always there.

Tim and I talked about this early in our relationship, that if it came down to him not being happy in whatever aspect of his life in America, we would make a move. So far he has no complaints, but if down the road our circumstance changes and we need to relocate in order for him to be satisfied with his quality of life, it is the least I could do considering all he has given up to be with me. So if he isn't happy here in my little rural town, there is always some bigger city somewhere in the whole of the 50 states where he might find happiness.

I think the USC has to have an open mind when it comes to their spouse and also be willing to give up somethings in order to make life for their partner the best it can possibly be. So what if the USC has been in a job for 16 years, why not try a bit of compromise look into a move and see if there isn't a middle ground in another area that could offer a decent opportunity for both. In our relationships the excuse "it's not that easy to pack up and move" is a bunch of bullsh*t because at least one of us has had to leave behind a whole different country and we make it through that.

I have rambled on, the coffee has yet to enter my veins so I hope my point has been made. There has simply got to be compromise from both parties, considering the non USC gives up so much for us USC's the least we can do is give up a bit of the lifestyle we are used to in order to make our SO happier in their new life.

[sophyie 0]

I find this thread very interesting to read, even though I have not yet moved to the US. However, I have lived there for about 1 1/2 years before, so I guess I can add a little bit of experience...

Maybe I was lucky, because my husband comes from (in my opinion)one of the most beautiful areas in the world, the Pacific Northwest... and that helped a lot! Even on my morning commute to work I would get in a good mood just by looking at the water. (but then again, that's me )

Also, what helped me a lot was to go shopping in German stores, cook German food, order my favourite woman's magazine from Germany... little things. They started to get less important the longer I was there.

Many of you have stated that you have not made any friends yet, and yes, that's what I noticed in the US, too. It is easy to meet someone (I think), but finding real friends is hard.

But then again, I find making friends gets harder the older one gets. When you're still in school or college it is quite easy, leaving school- maybe moving away from your home town, starting a job: I think it gets harder even when you stay in your home country. Big difference: the old time friends are somewhat close by.

And then being in another country doesn't make it any easier! One thing I stumbled upon in Seattle was a German "Stammtisch" (regulars' table?). Germans who live in Seattle meet on a regular basis in a German pub to talk and share their experiences... Also some non- Germans who want to learn German.

I have not been there but know from a good friend that for her, it made life abroad easier...

I know there are similar groups for other languages.

On the other hand: my husband has lived in Germany for altogether about 4 years, his German is perfect and he has lots of friends here (but also, many American friends and lots from his year in college in Germany years back...). However, he's homesick. Just a little bit, but still.

I guess that's just what happens when you live in a foreign country. It'll get better.

[Anna C. 4]

I agree with the people saying that most Europeans and Canadians came because of their love. And for me I simply notice differences. There are positive and negative differences. E.g. the general job flexibility is better in the US, though I haven't looked for a job yet (I will start to do that now seriously). I had no problem getting a well paid job in Germany, and I left it behind. And I think I am not the only one who fears that our education won't be regarded as good enough - I hope it won't, but we will see.

Some things in America are just different, and what bugs me most is the health system. It is so expensive and so far I had a doctor who mis-diagnosed me. When you want to call your health plan to ask if a medication is covered you are stuck on hold for at least 30 minutes, that sucks!

The positive thing is that there are so many people from all around the world, so it feels as if I was kinda still in Munich. I like a good mix of cultures, it is interesting and will never be boring.

And what is hard for all of us: suddenly we are the foreigners. I had no idea what it feels like. And sometimes I just meet stupid people who ask me stupid questions, like: Does Hitler still administer Germany? Do you have electricity in Germany? Duh! In times of globalization and of the internet I expected people to know a little bit more. It bugs me because I am proud of my country and I miss it of course!

And then we all encounter the small problems: like that they don't have my favourite food here.

All those differences take time to adjust. And it's ok to complain once in a while! 6, 12 and even 18 months are not sufficient to fully adjust. I now try to find substitutes for things I miss which helps a lot.

Lg Anna

[rob&ana 0]

I agree…

Reality changes depending on whose glasses you’re looking thru.

Quality of life, standards of living, will depend even on the area of the US you moved to.

Anyone who moved here from another country, is going to miss friends, family, foods; anyone who’s starting a new life and no job, will have a whole lot more of expenses (which would look worse, since you have no income, and you’re ‘eating’ your savings). All of us who move here, dread being looked down because of our accents, dread new jobs (wouldn’t you dread it also back home – starting a new job is scary anywhere), you might even dread your new family, because they are not like YOUR family. And it’s true, I also feel bad from people (from anywhere in the world) who lived in big cities, and then move to the US and they live in the middle of no-where, it is sad, the cultural shock is HORRIBLE.

But I wonder… didn’t you think about all this before you moved here? Did any one test drive their next-to-be surroundings? Families? I mean, I remember the first time I came to Pittsburgh, it was February and SO FREAKING COLD, I thought man, this is going to be tough, but it’s livable, if all the people in Pitts live with this weather, I can do it too. I visited my future in-laws, I observed the way they treated each other (and I know, you can’t learn much from just one visit), and I met some of Rob’s friends… and I can tolerate.

And yes, making friends is difficult, we age and we get more discriminatory, we compare and no one is going to be as good as our friends ‘back home’…

I may be just an optimistic, but I do think that being with my loved one, was worth the change.

PS: And yes, I do come from a third world country, and no, my job is not better here or better compensated, my standard of living though (what I get for my money) is better here.

[Joel Halfwassen 0]

Rodjanaa has found that the USA, at least our piece of it, more than meets her expectations in terms of the lifestyle, the opportunities, and the personal freedoms it offers. Personal freedom not in the legal sense, but in a cultural and societal sense - free of constraining expectations, which must be lived up to, imposed by society.

Yodrak

For those of us who have given up a lot to come here, how do you find your quality of life compared to back home?

For me, my quality of life here is significantly worse than back home in the material sense at least. And I guess at heart, I'm really a big city girl and miss London. ...

Actually the cultural expectation are what my wife is finding the hardest to adjust to. With all of the immigrants here in the US and mixuture of cultures it is so chaotic for her. Ukraine is a relativly homogenious society. If you are a man/women in a specific age group you knew automaticly what to expect and how to act. In the US there are few cultural 'norms' and it is encouraged to express yourself. Never mind that we live in Phoenix where there is a LARGE Native American and Hispanic influence which is something she REALLY wasn't expecting. It is something we are working with. :-)

Joel

[aidan80 9]

My experience so far is quite mixed; my general quality of life here in the US is certainly different than what it was.

When I arrived here in November 2006 we had trouble renting an apartment. We did however get incredibly lucky! Long story short we end up renting a small house from one time immigrants. The place needed some work but it was located on a very normal street and the rent wasn’t too high ! Months later we find out they were ripping us off on cable the dirty wee b@stards!

A few days before our wedding we hit a deer ; it caused mostly cosmetic damage apart from a leaking water pump. $tate farm decide after getting advice the garage (which turns out to be a body shop not a garage) after a month that the leaking water pump isn’t related to the accident and refuse to pay. How stupid of us, it started leaking all on it’s own after we hit the deer ? We end up with a leaking water pump and a rental truck for a month for the trouble, thanks so much $tate farm!

We didn’t file my AOS till April 2006 due to a number of financial problems. I’ve got my EAD and have the AOS interview coming up in a few weeks! Although we had a difficult start it isn’t all bad. We had the most perfect wedding! We got a lot of help with the house! In time we even got a pool and put it in the yard, I couldn’t do that back home !

There are enough jobs in this part of Florida in my line of work. The starting money in most places comes out at approx $12 - $18 per hour to start! Most office jobs seem to start at around $8 - $14 per hour which isn’t at all bad! I’ve almost got a drivers license, never had or needed one back home. It was all worth it in the end, I got married and that’s why I came here!

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

State Farm has a long history of bad faith claims.

[homesick_american 1]

State Farm has a long history of bad faith claims.

Hehehe, my grandfather was a lifer at State Farm. Everyone on that side of the fam has their car insurance with State Farm and they have nothing but good things to say. I think the other poster just got unlucky.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

State Farm has a long history of bad faith claims.

Hehehe, my grandfather was a lifer at State Farm. Everyone on that side of the fam has their car insurance with State Farm and they have nothing but good things to say. I think the other poster just got unlucky.

http://www.badfaithinsurance.org ranks State Farm #2 on their bad faith insurer list.

ETA: that site isn't "scientific"; it is based on user submissions.

Edited October 5, 2006 by Gupt

[homesick_american 1]

State Farm has a long history of bad faith claims.

Hehehe, my grandfather was a lifer at State Farm. Everyone on that side of the fam has their car insurance with State Farm and they have nothing but good things to say. I think the other poster just got unlucky.

http://www.badfaithinsurance.org ranks State Farm #2 on their bad faith insurer list.

ETA: that site isn't "scientific"; it is based on user submissions.

Maybe we're just lucky then.

Norwich Union is supposed to be awful, but my husband crashed the car the Friday before our interview and so far we haven't had any problems, they're fixing our car and we've got a zippy little Peugeot to drive in the meantime.