Cheating & Deleting VJ Account

[mRx 16]

A relevant question would be.... did he confess this to you? or did you find out by yourself?

[MPGGPM 0]

I think PrivateSkylark needs to think about the consequences of having to deal with her fiance's shite without any support system around her. If she moves to the USA to be with him, she's going to be thousands of miles away from her parents and friends. Dealing with a partner with a mental illness, who is immature and clearly has issues understanding right from wrong (you don't cheat in a relationship, its wrong) is going to be hard if she had all her current support structure around her.

Moving to a foriegn country is a huge life change, you shouldn't be faced with anything but a perfect loving happy relationship when you get there, because believe me, there's going to be stress due to the move even if your future husband is the most perfect person in the world. You don't need additional problems.

Good points. A bit blunt ......but still good points you've made in each of your posts in this thread.

I hope she thinks everything through................considers everything that has happened and everything involved with what will happen................and makes the right decision.

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

So my fella cheated on me. Not physically, but dating, cybering and telling another girl he loves her etc.

I feel so embarrassed now about this account and being on here and all the things I planned and....

....God, how do I delete my account? I'm so embarrassed..

was this online or irl?

cheating is cheating Charles!!!!!

there's varying degrees here, i was trying to determine if this was irl or just racy chatting with someone else online. one would indicate much more intent than the other.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

I had answered earlier but now after reading again i see you added bi-polar. I also had someone with this and they were very into the computer thing, thats where i also had met him, when he was with someone else.(first clue) but i didnt find out aout her until after i had met him in person, but of course he was soooooo unhappy so he came to live here this being over about 2 year period of talking and knowing in person. When he was here the pattern continued with me complaining after i found some of the messages. Of course this didnt last because i would not allow nor turn my head so he went back to the other girl. Now the trick he now realizes he wanted this first person more etc etc so one day i made a new name and sent him a message, he answered, and i played the game i was so mad my bf had just left me for someone else he had met on line makeing the story sound real and i ask him what he tought his answer "yea sometimes that happens". His reasoning was he was only talking. Yea right been there done that, unless u completely block his use or get rid of the computer he wont change. This one even went to the trouble of going to the library when her computer didnt work. he wont change and he was good with the medicines so cant blame that

with a bi-polar the new relationships are like their obcessions for new things to purchase it gives them a rush to go buy someting new shopping is a high for them, so are new women.

Edited April 8, 2007 by brnidokiegurl

[Nicole72082 0]

Some people can change, but I definitely wouldn't be starting the K1 visa process anytime soon. Also, if you don't think you can get over thinking about this in the future, get out now. You'll only make both of you miserable if you bring it up continously. Yeah, I totally agree he should be miserable now, but in 10 years down the road after good behavior. I think possibly the guy should be forgiven. Some women can deal with that type of betrayal, some can't. I wish you the best of luck with this. I'm sure it's a very hard decision. Someone you loved so much to change your whole world for and then they go and hurt you like this. I'm sure, especially being so far away from each other, I'd be constantly wondering what he was doing when he wasn't talking to me (or even during the time he was typing to me.. ) Good luck girl.

[bostonparis 0]

Oh, you are SO young - please don't continue this relationship. It's such bad news - HE'S such bad news. You can find someone who loves you and knows that you are enough for him. Being bipolar has nothing to do with cheating. Please don't go through with this process with this person. He's SO not worth your time and energy.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Bi-polar cant be a cause for cheating but the excitement is the high that feeds the bi polar like i said take them shopping and they want to buy buy buy even without need but once there they cant make the choice between to buy x y or z its not the what they are buying its just the buying same with the women. THey have many and lie to them all and see nothing wrong these are "just friends to them"

[Lizzy 0]

NO cheating ever, in no form in a partnership.. thats my opinion.

Cheating can take many forms and a big form in this day and age is the internet. Even for me having an affair or even talking sexual conversations on the internet is cheating.

Ask him what he would do if the shoe was on the other foot.

[KarenCee 3]

NO cheating ever, in no form in a partnership.. thats my opinion.

Cheating can take many forms and a big form in this day and age is the internet. Even for me having an affair or even talking sexual conversations on the internet is cheating.

Ask him what he would do if the shoe was on the other foot.

Good idea. Always a good thing to see it from that perspective methinks.

[Peikko 1,575]

Of course it's the OP's decision, but I would go with heart break now, rather than further down the line. Of course, when one is in the situation, it's so much harder to see the bigger picture.

[Mary Lou 681]

Of course he's sorry and crying and begging you to take him back, cause he got caught!! You have nothing to be ashamed of, he was in the wrong totally. I would really think long and hard about this, and not be taken in by his "promises" to change and make it up to you. Your both very young, heck i was young once too lol but leopards dont change their spots, bi-polar or not. Good Luck to you!!

[Private Skylark 0]

Thank you everyone. This is just so hard right now. So so hard.

[j-manu 0]

Someone that I know that has Bi-polar told me that the disease intensifies what is already there when they are not on there medication. Cheating is a serious issue. It is also one that can be over came, but the one who cheats really needs to prove them self and a few words will not do it. It has to be down with actions and done over time. If you want to make this work, you need to start all over again. Stop the K-1 process and start getting to know each other again. The one who does the cheating needs to restore trust and it can not be done over night. To come here on a K-1 visa with the hope that everything will be alright may be mistake in it self.

Take your time and don't rush into a situation that will change you forever.

God bless.

[Private Skylark 0]

Trust me, there's no way I'm even thinking about marriage right now.

[rebeccajo 14]

I see in your timeline you are traveling over here next month.

Is the ticket already bought? Who paid for it?