Cheating & Deleting VJ Account

[BelwinMills 0]

So sorry to hear this don't feel embarrassed and at least you found out before u started the visa process.

[Mirorgate 0]

was this online or irl?

cheating is cheating Charles!!!!!

Huh? How do you "cheat" online?

Emotional cheating can be just as hurtful to someone as the physical act. Hence the OPs statement of 'dating' as cheating and the telling of love to another.

[Christine n Carl 0]

Just adding on another voice of support..don't be embarrassed, we are all here to lend support as best we can.

Good luck and god bless

Carl

[Ta Ta 1]

So sorry, better to find out now than later

There is someone better out there waiting to meet you. You will find each other.

[ajames79 0]

was this online or irl?

cheating is cheating Charles!!!!!

Huh? How do you "cheat" online?

I can't speak for her in this particular situation but I would assume that they met online...so being that the basis of the relationship started online then having an emotional affair with someone online is just as significant to their relationship as a physical affair might be. Just assuming of course!

[Dr_LHA 3]

was this online or irl?

cheating is cheating Charles!!!!!

Huh? How do you "cheat" online?

The "cybering" that the OP referred to is basically the online version of phone sex. If your wife/husband had phone sex with another person would you consider it cheating? I would guess yes, unless you're extremely open minded and forgiving!

[Private Skylark 0]

was this online or irl?

cheating is cheating Charles!!!!!

Huh? How do you "cheat" online?

I can't speak for her in this particular situation but I would assume that they met online...so being that the basis of the relationship started online then having an emotional affair with someone online is just as significant to their relationship as a physical affair might be. Just assuming of course!

Yes, exactly. Him and I met online. Things have progressed since last night and I he has spent all night apologising, crying, apologising more, telling me he didn't know why he did it. That it didn't mean anything. He hasn't tried to justify it (which is good) and has promised me the world if I give him a second chance.

I honestly don't know what to do....

[Nagishkaw 510]

He has a lot of proving to do. Give yourself time. If he did it once, do you think he would do it again?Are you willing to forgive him? If it were me, I would lay low, pay very close attention and know if you give him enough rope, he will hang himself.

Truthfully, I am very sad to hear of this happening to you.

[Private Skylark 0]

I've told him we're over, but that, if he wants me, he has a whole world of stuff to prove to me.

[Chuckles 0]

I've told him we're over, but that, if he wants me, he has a whole world of stuff to prove to me.

Some people get addicted to the "rush" of a new relationship, and "falling in love", They use the internet to meet people of the oppisite sex and satisfy that need. It is easy and accesible. Since he met you that way, it is quite possible he is addicted to this. Think of it like a drug addiction.

Have him seek help. If he agrees, why not give him a second chance? It seems he loves you.

[Private Skylark 0]

He has promised to return to therapy. He used to go a year ago, but stopped because he hates it, but he has promised it's one of the things he will do for me. He suffers from bi-polar disorder and has even promised to go on meds again if it means that I would give him another go. As I said above, I've given him a time line of a month to get his act together and to prove to me that he is sorry, that he can be trusted, that he wants me and ONLY me.

[Dr_LHA 3]

Yes, exactly. Him and I met online. Things have progressed since last night and I he has spent all night apologising, crying, apologising more, telling me he didn't know why he did it. That it didn't mean anything. He hasn't tried to justify it (which is good) and has promised me the world if I give him a second chance.

I honestly don't know what to do....

Dump his ####### and move on. Honestly, this sort of teenage angst problem is not the solid foundation of a marriage. It would be different if you were just considering moving into his flat, but we're talking about you moving from your home country to marry this person, which should be *forever*. From your profile I see that you're 19 years old. My advice, live your life for a bit before settling down. You'll thank me for it 10 years down the line.

Edited April 8, 2007 by Dr_LHA

[Nagishkaw 510]

Suffering from Bi-Polar is no excuse for cheating. I have it, and yet at the same time I know there is no excuse or exception to do such a thing. It is just plain old common sense and nothing to do with messed up brain chemistry. What good are the meds going to do? Subdue him into a coma like state so that he can't access a computer? If this were so, a lot of people would be on medication to help cleanse them of their cheating ways. I will say that talk therapy is great, and yes, he needs it.

[Dr_LHA 3]

I think PrivateSkylark needs to think about the consequences of having to deal with her fiance's shite without any support system around her. If she moves to the USA to be with him, she's going to be thousands of miles away from her parents and friends. Dealing with a partner with a mental illness, who is immature and clearly has issues understanding right from wrong (you don't cheat in a relationship, its wrong) is going to be hard if she had all her current support structure around her.

Moving to a foriegn country is a huge life change, you shouldn't be faced with anything but a perfect loving happy relationship when you get there, because believe me, there's going to be stress due to the move even if your future husband is the most perfect person in the world. You don't need additional problems.

Edited April 8, 2007 by Dr_LHA

[Reba 2]

zackly.

This may sound heartless, but I'd run screaming in the opposite direction. Now.

I'm sorry this has happened to you. I do know how difficult it is to deal with bi-polar disorder. If he's already shunned treatment and medications, then he may well do so after another short round.