What happens if I do not go to the green card interview?

[Sara2017 0]

Hey Everyone,

 

I'm in a sticky situation. 

 

I met my husband in 2014. We had been on and off for a couple years, despite that I always loved him. He asked me to get married to him March 2016. (we actually got married July 2016) 

 

A big reason why he asked me to get married so quickly is because he was having immigration issues, but he also will say he loved me and saw us together for the long term. I on the other hand would have married him regardless if he had immigration issues. In my heart I said yes because I loved him and we were going to be together anyways. Proving that our relationship is legitimate is no problem for us. We were real. 

 

Unfortunately, we fight ALOT. So much to the point I cannot handle it anymore and it really ruins my entire day/week. So it is best we divorce.

We have a green card interview coming up in a couple months. He has said to me that he would refuse to sign the divorce papers because it effects his immigration status. 

He has told me to go through with the interview and that we can go our separate ways after (while maintaining marriage status) and I said to him I don't want to pretend. If we aren't together as a couple we are no longer going to be married.

 

I would divorce for irreconcilable differences, and I have much proof to support that claim.

 

He threatened that he would notify immigration of marriage fraud and that I married him only to get him a green card. Which is harsh since I got married because I loved him and we were a real couple. This breaks my heart because I just want to play clean and he is ready to take the guns out on me. I am not trying to destroy him. I just want to do what is right. And us being married is not that. I feel trapped.

 

A part of me thought about just not showing up to the first interview and having them deny it. Are there any consequences to me (the citizen) for not showing up? 

 

I know I need to consult with a lawyer about this but any words of advice helps!

Edited March 12, 2017 by Sara2017

[Ontarkie 14,234]

~~Moved to Effects of Major family Changes, from General Immigration - As similar threads are discussed here.~~

[Ontarkie 14,234]

Do not go to the interview with him, file for divorce. By going to the interview pretending at this point would be immigration fraud.

 

Send a letter stating you will not be attending the interview due to divorce and that you are pulling the I-864 

 

Edited March 12, 2017 by Ontarkie

[USAMorocco 143]

I highly doubt if he told immigration they would believe that you were the one committing fraud.  What would you have to gain out of getting him a green card? He is trying to scare you into going to the interview.  Don't.  Go file for divorce.  Even if he doesn't sign it doesn't matter....a decision will be entered by default if he fails to appear. 

[Boiler 45,558]

You need to pull the I 864 asap and file for divorce.

[f f 725]

52 minutes ago, Sara2017 said:

A big reason why he asked me to get married so quickly is because he was having immigration issues,

he married you for a green card.

pull i864 ASAP or you are on the hook for 10 years

move out (he can try to file vawa against you)

file for divorce / annulment

move on with life

 

good luck

[zilchfox 296]

File for divorce and let him go do his own thing. He cannot adjust his status without you and will be out-of-status and overstaying the moment you pull out. 

 

Make sure you pull the I-864 support otherwise you're legally on the hook for him financially even after divorce until he's a U.S. Citizen! Even if you for whatever reason decide to go to the interview and then divorce after the fact, he could technically sue you for not financially supporting him even after you've divorced and separated, all because on the I-864 you signed that you are responsible for him financially until he's either a US citizen, left the country, or dead, and there'd be nothing stopping him from being a green card holder forever and as such, keeping you on the hook forever, too. 

[amul 229]

11 hours ago, Sara2017 said:

I know I need to consult with a lawyer about this but any words of advice helps!

Very very sorry to hear about your situation. It cuts deep when love is involved. Hang in there...

 

One other tip, I would not mention my intentions of pulling the I-864 or at least try not have one on one (alone) conversations with him about it. Better play it safe. Personally, I'd do what I had to do and not talk to him about this or my life thereafter. 

 

Best of luck - sending you strength! You are in my thoughts...

[Lemonslice 4,859]

2 hours ago, zilchfox said:

File for divorce and let him go do his own thing. He cannot adjust his status without you and will be out-of-status and overstaying the moment you pull out. 

 

Make sure you pull the I-864 support otherwise you're legally on the hook for him financially even after divorce until he's a U.S. Citizen! Even if you for whatever reason decide to go to the interview and then divorce after the fact, he could technically sue you for not financially supporting him even after you've divorced and separated, all because on the I-864 you signed that you are responsible for him financially until he's either a US citizen, left the country, or dead, and there'd be nothing stopping him from being a green card holder forever and as such, keeping you on the hook forever, too. 

He possibly can adjust with someone else.

[zilchfox 296]

1 minute ago, Lemonslice said:

He possibly can adjust with someone else.

If it's possible, then let him do his thing, as long as OP doesn't have to deal with him anymore and be out of OP's life.

[f f 725]

he can always claim a vawa that is why you do not want to be alone with him.

[neilsqueen 433]

Just want to share my life's experience with a man like your husband.  I thank God never married the jerk, but I wasted two precious years of my life thinking I was in love with this man.  After being married 10 years to a loser, this man came along with all of the right words.  He knew how to string me along without ever having to make a commitment.  All of my friends and family tried to delicately show me he was using me, but as like most people who have their hearts involved, you are blind to their smooth moves.  I finally one day by the grace of God woke up and realized what the problem was.  I didn't like myself and had absolutely no self-esteem.  I had been beaten down mentally so bad by my previous marriage that I seriously thought I was a loser and just couldn't see the destructive pattern I had been in of choosing the worst for me.  I see me in you.  PLEASE do not allow this man to do this to you!  You are worthy of having a healthy relationship with the man of your dreams who will treat you like his queen!!!!  Once I let go of all the dead weight in my life and decided to live for ME, I ran into my amazing current love of my life!!  I wasn't looking for anyone at that point.  He just fell in to my life like a well fit glove.  He treats me like a REAL man should treat his lady.  I FINALLY know what TRUE love is.  I have faith that one day you will find the same.  You say you love him, but your love is not a healthy love.  Please take a step back and examine who has been putting all the effort into your relationship.  Has he honestly done anything to contribute to your happiness?  Are you miserable on a daily basis?  Are you always making excuses for his behavior?  Do you cry yourself to sleep most nights?  This is not what love is all about.  

 

With all that said, PLEASE WITHDRAW YOUR I-864 NOW!!! You do not want to have him legally hanging over your head for quite some time.  I wish you all the happiness in the world and that you discover your wonderful, strong, independent side that can allow a good man to love you for you.  Best wishes sweetie!

Edited March 12, 2017 by neilsqueen

[Shiobhan 235]

Divorce the creep ASAP. inform uscis in writing that the marriage is over

and you would like to pull AOS. Pkease do not go to interview with him

and lie that would be fraud,h e cannot report you for fraud the fraudster

is him. Just move on with your life.

[Davejj 31]

16 hours ago, Sara2017 said:

Hey Everyone,

 

I'm in a sticky situation. 

 

I met my husband in 2014. We had been on and off for a couple years, despite that I always loved him. He asked me to get married to him March 2016. (we actually got married July 2016) 

 

A big reason why he asked me to get married so quickly is because he was having immigration issues, but he also will say he loved me and saw us together for the long term. I on the other hand would have married him regardless if he had immigration issues. In my heart I said yes because I loved him and we were going to be together anyways. Proving that our relationship is legitimate is no problem for us. We were real. 

 

Unfortunately, we fight ALOT. So much to the point I cannot handle it anymore and it really ruins my entire day/week. So it is best we divorce.

We have a green card interview coming up in a couple months. He has said to me that he would refuse to sign the divorce papers because it effects his immigration status. 

He has told me to go through with the interview and that we can go our separate ways after (while maintaining marriage status) and I said to him I don't want to pretend. If we aren't together as a couple we are no longer going to be married.

 

I would divorce for irreconcilable differences, and I have much proof to support that claim.

 

He threatened that he would notify immigration of marriage fraud and that I married him only to get him a green card. Which is harsh since I got married because I loved him and we were a real couple. This breaks my heart because I just want to play clean and he is ready to take the guns out on me. I am not trying to destroy him. I just want to do what is right. And us being married is not that. I feel trapped.

 

A part of me thought about just not showing up to the first interview and having them deny it. Are there any consequences to me (the citizen) for not showing up? 

 

I know I need to consult with a lawyer about this but any words of advice helps!

That's some pathetic guy.. It seems obvious he wants to use you to get a green card. Divorce him asap and move on. Good luck to you

[controlla 104]

You should be 100% sure its over before you decide not to show up or pull the i-864. You still have at least a month to decide. Maybe spend a week or two apart, let emotions die down and then have a conversation about your marriage with him before making your decision. I say this because similar stories on here are always one-sided but no one on VJ knows the other side of the story.