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[Sbys 0]

I'm in MN too - we opened a joint account at Wells Fargo, they made it really easy. That was right after Michael arrived too - he barely had any ID.

We can't even open a joint account, because of credit issues.

[JayJay 4]

I know, I'm terrible at worrying - it's just lately, there have been a LOT of worries to contend with, and I've been left feeling totally out of sorts - definately nothing like my usual happy-go-lucky self - more like a frazzled piece of wood, I suppose.

I have a question though: what are the chances of us even being required to have a joint sponsor any more? Ben now has a full time job, and has had since October last year - as do I....

The joint account issue is because well...his isn't the best, and mine isn't there yet. Put it this way: he had major trouble opening a business account just a week ago...we're working on it, but we had previously decided not to do the piggybacking on his credit thing.

I can't wait til everyone's just not stressed anymore...hakuna matata man....*groans*

Edited March 18, 2006 by JayJay

[motu 6]

Best of luck. Relax and don't worry too much. The interviewing officers do understand the lack of joint stuff K1s have because the shortness of time involved - we only had a few also. The interviewer will be fine with the evidence you have especially with your story of living with the Fokers.

[JayJay 4]

Hahahhah That actually made me laugh ("living with the fokers") for the first time today!

[Mina76 0]

hi JayJay

If you can try to get some friends or even co-workers write a letter (they should be notorized too) stating that they know both you and your husband.

One of my ex-bosses did this for me since he was one of the first people my husband met when he first came to the US, my boss got to know my husband from him also coming regularly to my place of work to pick me up.

Also take whatever junk mail you and your husband get, eventhough we get tons of junk mail with our names individually on it at least it will show that we get our mail at the same address.

And as funny as this will look we even opened a joint checking with a $53 check only last week, especially that our AOS interview is only 5 days away! Well anything is better then nothing

I also agree with donnaal try to get some pics taken now while you still have a couple of weeks left before your interview.

Good Luck

Mina

[rebeccajo 14]

We carried some junk mail with us to the interview too. One we really liked was from the local drug store - it was addressed to Wes alone but it said something on it like 'welcome to the neighborhood'. We never needed to show it though.

The question our interviewer asked us was 'what proof do you have of co-mingled assets?' We produced our tax return, joint bank account, a few utility bills and a deed.

[chocolaterie 0]

When we went to washington mutual we opened a joint account with 25 bucks and no credit checks we we required. Don't worry it will work out for the best. I completely understand about the inlaw situation. Dallas and I were living at his mom's for 3 weeks, and he almost went nuts. In the end we left in a haste=/.

[Inlove_tx 0]

JayJay:

First off, I'm sorry to hear you're going through all that stress. *HUGS*

Try to relax, though, it will be fine!

- The tax return is okay the way it is, you don't have to file jointly, the important thing is that you guys filed as "married". A lot of couples file separately, it's not a big deal.

- As others said, bring any mail you received, even junk mail addressed to you alone or to Ben alone...it's still a proof that you guys live together.

- Go to Blockbuster or any other place releasing free membership cards and have them put both your names on it: my husband and I did that, and it seemed to be a good idea!

- Have your husband add you to his account, even only as an "authorized user". It's free and it only takes a few minutes. My husband added me to his account with Bank of Am. and it was very easy.

- If you guys have any pets, put both of your names on their certificates/vaccination sheets.

If I get more ideas I'll let you know...but don't worry too much, you will be ok!

[notrepetiteashley 0]

Aww, JayJay I understand your worries and all that. *bighugs* It will probably be okay. I don't think it'll matter what your expressions look like in your photographs. I agree that you could take a few more photos. Like maybe go to a park or somewhere that has nice scenery.

My husband and I just recently put his name on my checking account. I will say, however that credit score does have something to do with getting an account at SOME banks ((American State Bank, for example)). I would suggest going to Bank of the West, if you have them there. They're nice and reasonable and I'm fairly certain you could start an account with very few dollars in it. Then just have them write you up a letter that says you do, in fact share an account.

Junk mail is a good sign, I think too because it comes to your same address. Where are you living that you don't own or rent? We are living with my parents and I'm going to have them write a letter saying such and have it notarized.

Car insurance is a good thing, too...if he's on your policy/you on his. Did you get cards for your wedding or anything? Birthdays, valentine's day? Looking through our documents, I found a few unexpected things. For example, a release I had singed from my university saying I agreed to have my financial aid info released to Jay ((my husband)).

I think they'll understand about the taxes. Just tell the truth about what happened. The world understands the language of money, yes? Sorry your MIL questions you so much. I'm sure that feels awful.

Do you have any phone cards or phone records you could obtain to show that you spoke while you were in separate countries? We got some of those. Do you have any letters from him or from you to him with dates/postmarks on them? Sorry this is so long, I'm just thinking of things.

Do you have an account together at a video rental store? I know that sounds simplistic, but hey, it's something! You don't want to have one of those with just anybody running up a late-fee bill, you know! To have one of those together is true love. Hehe. Those late fees will kill you.

This is pretty much all I can think of for now. If I come up with anything else, I'll let you know. Hope at least one thing was helpful.

My goes out to you, it really does. Visualize the interview going well. That always calms me down. Think of smiles and easy questions and those great words, "you're approved." Take deep breaths, close your eyes, and see your approval. Maybe I'm weird, but that calms me down. I learned that from a psychiatrist that worked at an Anxiety Disorders Clinic.

Oh, I should say I'm not trying to say you have a disorder. hehe. Just helps with nerves of all kinds.

Good luck. I honestly think you'll be fine.

[Autumnal 25]

Just got to the end of this -- please see your PM for some ideas.

Very good advice is enclosed here. $25 will start you up at Washington Mutual, which is where we have our joint account and they don't do credit checks either. I didn't even need to have an SSN; just brought my passport and our marriage certificate. It could be a temporary account or one where you keep a few bits of cash for a rainy day (and a nice dinner)?

*HUG!*

Do you guys have any little mementos of your relationship? Poems, silly sketches, drawings, cards, love letters? You might tote those along. I've retained a few sappy emails that are unusual in that my husband actually wrote them -- normally his platitudes are spoken, but I digress. Little things like that might help.

Something else you might try is a little "night out" for one another in the next week. Take an hour or two in the evening, dress up rather nice, and go for a drive. It doesn't even have to be to a restaurant; maybe to a park if the weather's okay, or to go dancing or just to walk along a nice part of town. Ask someone to take a few pictures of you, and if you have friends in town, maybe have them meet up for an hour or two and take some snaps.

Junk mail is definitely worth considering, and if you have those awful credit card offers that pop up, don't forget them! If you subscribe to anything, like Netflix, keep an envelope that shows the address on it. That can be proved that you two maintain the same address.

Does either of you drive? Your insurance could have your spouse listed as the primary or secondary driver. Or have they maybe been added? Or perhaps your driver's licenses show that you have the same address.

I also remembered gym memberships/fitness center/community centers. Ours makes us sign up as a "family" and I have a bare bones print out that basically confirms that we are indeed registered as a family unit for our local park district.

Blockbuster or any other membership-requiring place -- how about the grocery store? Dominic's/Safeway, Jewel-Osco, Costco, Sam's Club -- require you to both register. Sometimes it's as family or as a group. They're worth looking at.

Also.... if you've taken any classes (non-credit; for fun; credit) or volunteered, that's worth noting.

You could also get your sister-in-law to get a notarized letter that you've been together. It's free, by the way, at Wamu. Your bank may well offer free notary services as well; universities, some church groups and other organizations also do.

Finally, if you've been in any medical situation that might apply, you could always use that. If you have to list an emergency contact or whatnot, and that's your husband on the form, it's worth considering.

[kerewin21 2]

How about you ask the kind SIL who is giving you a ride for a letter talking about your relationship?

And since your MIL backed out of giving you a ride, surely she could write a letter about your relationship as well; no need to leave the animals alone to do that!

I sympathize with you regarding crazy families. I'm sorry that's gotten in the way of things here.

Bring the Christmas cards, bring all the other evidence you have, and come up with all the corroborating evidence you can, and then go and hope for the best. Most peoples' AOS interviews have been pretty minimal.

Think positive!

Sharon

[gimygirl 0]

i know everyone keeps referencing credit checks in regards to checking accounts ... from my previous experience in the financial industry years ago, i can tell you that it's not only credit history that banks look at. if you've ever left an old checking/savings acct at another bank with a negative balance, have written NSF checks, etc ... this gets reported (most commonly to a company called ChexSystems). this can cause anything from an outright denial to opening an acct to denial of the privilege to have a check/debit card on your acct.

i'm not saying that any of the above pertains to ben & jayjay's situation ... but just thought i would clear up a few misconceptions here on the thread!

[Collie 122]

hi Jay,

You have great suggestions here from people. My husband and I are also living with my in-laws although I must admit they have been wonderful and I get on extremely well thankfully. We are getting my MIL to draw up a rent agreement for Shannon and I in both our names and will have it notarised in addition to a letter explaining what we pay and we are also getting rent receipts from her every month. Perhaps your MIL could do something similar and if you pay rent get her to back date receipts?

I also have a dog and I am planning to register her at a local vet in both of our names. Buy a goldfish or a hamster and do the same

Old cards from Christmas, valentines or other occasions as well as emails and letters go down well so I've heard in addition to photographs.

The video store card is a brill idea too. I never would have thought of that and I shal add it to my little list!

I was in hospital in December with epileptic seizures and my husband (actually he was my fiancee then) was named on my hospital notes as my next of kin, so if you have anything similar even from your Doctor naming your husband as next of kin or on an organ donor list, then get a copy and use that too.

Letters from friends and family are also an option to verify you are indeed a couple.

Good luck and I hope that you are reassured a little more now with everyones suggestions

~Kat

[canuck1971 0]

Jay Jay,

When you said she wanted to file your taxes separately, did you mean she wanted to file it married, filing separately, or singly? The low income income credit you're talking about sounds an awful lot like the "Earned Income Credit" of $399 that's available to low income people with no children (its a lot higher if you do have children). However, you can't claim the EIC if you file married, filing separately. It can only be claimed if you are married, filing jointly. However, you also said that you are excluding foreign income which is another restriction, meaning that you can't claim it that way either. That means the only way he could claim it would be if you two were to file as single people which you're not allowed to do. I think you may have been allowed to do it at one time because my USC wife and others swear that you can file single if you're been married less than 6 months, however its quite clear that if you were married as of Dec. 31, 2005, you have to file as married. I'm not sure if this applies in your situation or not, but this may provide some ammo for your MIL.

[thndrdancr 0]

Oh dear JayJay,

Don't stress so badly. As you know, I have told you we were in much the same situation. Our interview went great, but I WAS able to get my mother to write a letter saying we were a bona fide couple. All we had as evidence was mostly same address stuff, same as you and for the same reasons. My hubby has been a dear, Mom wont even let him drive now becuz "someone could sue and take the house away"...yada yada. I would have been ready to leave the country by now if I were him.

So, no joint bank account, no his name on the insurance, no his name on the car since its mom's, he didnt have a job yet so no joint health insurance, I was no working a real job so we didnt have that either.

ALL we had was:

a few cards and letters to us for Christmas, etc.

A letter RELUCTANTLY written by mom, which the immigration officer kept

A list of calls he made back home to Guyana

A fishing license in his name, with our address

Oh, and TWO joint authorized users of my credit card, which I made SURE to get, since we didnt have a blessed other financial thing....(which Mom also blew a gasket over when she found out)

She kept copies of every bit of this, too. We did also have tickets showing a trip to his relatives wedding in New York, but that didnt seem to impress her much, she wasnt as interested.

Has been added you as an authorized user, for ANY credit cards? Probably not if there is a credit problem and you dont want to inherit that. You could explain that.

We also had a drivers license for him and social security number but I am not sure how that figures in as evidence, except for address.

That was it. The officer DID ask me about it, and I told her we live in a house JOINTLY owned by my Mom and myself, but Mom has been VERY slow to accept, so we are taking very slow steps. VERY slow. She seemed to understand, and even said "I BET she has been". We were lucky to have a woman immigration officer in that respect.

So you can PM me if you want, I can describe things in more detail, but we were in basically the same situation, except I am not sure you can get his Mom to write anything. That helped tremendously.

Good luck, and try not to stress too much, we both have very similar situations, only I dont feel I have the option to move out, since the house is supposedly half mine. My Mom is 80 and I love her to pieces, and she would never admit it, but I have been her baby for 40 years so she is jealous as the dickens. And I think thats part of the problem. I figure we will slowly get there...hope..hope. So there, we cant even up and move! Imagine that.

Hugs

Jill

Oh dear JayJay,

Don't stress so badly. As you know, I have told you we were in much the same situation. Our interview went great, but I WAS able to get my mother to write a letter saying we were a bona fide couple. All we had as evidence was mostly same address stuff, same as you and for the same reasons. My hubby has been a dear, Mom wont even let him drive now becuz "someone could sue and take the house away"...yada yada. I would have been ready to leave the country by now if I were him.

So, no joint bank account, no his name on the insurance, no his name on the car since its mom's, he didnt have a job yet so no joint health insurance, I was no working a real job so we didnt have that either.

ALL we had was:

a few cards and letters to us for Christmas, etc.

A letter RELUCTANTLY written by mom, which the immigration officer kept

A list of calls he made back home to Guyana

A fishing license in his name, with our address

Oh, and TWO joint authorized users of my credit card, which I made SURE to get, since we didnt have a blessed other financial thing....(which Mom also blew a gasket over when she found out)

She kept copies of every bit of this, too. We did also have tickets showing a trip to his relatives wedding in New York, but that didnt seem to impress her much, she wasnt as interested.

Has been added you as an authorized user, for ANY credit cards? Probably not if there is a credit problem and you dont want to inherit that. You could explain that.

We also had a drivers license for him and social security number but I am not sure how that figures in as evidence, except for address.

That was it. The officer DID ask me about it, and I told her we live in a house JOINTLY owned by my Mom and myself, but Mom has been VERY slow to accept, so we are taking very slow steps. VERY slow. She seemed to understand, and even said "I BET she has been". We were lucky to have a woman immigration officer in that respect.

So you can PM me if you want, I can describe things in more detail, but we were in basically the same situation, except I am not sure you can get his Mom to write anything. That helped tremendously.

Good luck, and try not to stress too much, we both have very similar situations, only I dont feel I have the option to move out, since the house is supposedly half mine. My Mom is 80 and I love her to pieces, and she would never admit it, but I have been her baby for 40 years so she is jealous as the dickens. And I think thats part of the problem. I figure we will slowly get there...hope..hope. So there, we cant even up and move! Imagine that.

Hugs

Jill

Sorry for the above, I havent got the editing feature figured out yet on this new site, darnit.