So happy but a lil bit scared

[simaysimon 30]

Hi everybody, i really feel like everyone on VJ is so understanding due to the fact that we have  been through the same stuff once and all. I would like to share something that keeps bothering me time to time. I love my life here, my husband is a military member so everybody around us is so friendly and Florida is amazing. Unfortunately i cant help but to have scary thoughts time to time. Which i believe it comes from being foreign and watching America on tv with violence. I know it is everywhere all around the world but i just cant help myself putting scenarios together like what if someone breaks into the house, what if someone pulls a gun since it is so easy for everyone to have it etc.. I dont wanna sound crazy but i just want to get rid of that 'America is a dangerous place' nonsense that haunts me 

[TBoneTX 45,294]

A noncontributory post has been removed.

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[Moderator hat off]

Any new environment can be scary.  Just take sensible steps toward safety.  For reassurance, talk to your American friends to learn what they do, and find a police officer to talk with.  Watch nicer TV programs.

[simaysimon 30]

Thank you for the advice! 

[piste 24]

1 hour ago, simaysimon said:

Hi everybody, i really feel like everyone on VJ is so understanding due to the fact that we have  been through the same stuff once and all. I would like to share something that keeps bothering me time to time. I love my life here, my husband is a military member so everybody around us is so friendly and Florida is amazing. Unfortunately i cant help but to have scary thoughts time to time. Which i believe it comes from being foreign and watching America on tv with violence. I know it is everywhere all around the world but i just cant help myself putting scenarios together like what if someone breaks into the house, what if someone pulls a gun since it is so easy for everyone to have it etc.. I dont wanna sound crazy but i just want to get rid of that 'America is a dangerous place' nonsense that haunts me 

Florida is a tourist destination, it attracts far more crime than other States. Friends in Vermont leave their house doors open at night and during the day. 

 

Other States are good, I would not live in Florida, personal choice. http://www.worldatlas.com/articles/the-most-dangerous-states-in-the-u-s.html tells you this:

 

Rank	U.S. State	Rate per 100K population
2	Nevada	635.6
3	Tennessee	608.4
4	New Mexico	597.4
5	Florida	540.5

 

[TBoneTX 45,294]

Well, every state (and city) has its areas that are comparatively safer or more dangerous.

I think that the OP should develop a network of supportive friends, and find a friendly police officer to chat with.

[mallafri76 1,012]

People break into homes in every country on the planet. The good thing with America is that in most states, you're allowed to get a gun and protect yourself.  

[yuna628 9,676]

21 hours ago, simaysimon said:

Hi everybody, i really feel like everyone on VJ is so understanding due to the fact that we have  been through the same stuff once and all. I would like to share something that keeps bothering me time to time. I love my life here, my husband is a military member so everybody around us is so friendly and Florida is amazing. Unfortunately i cant help but to have scary thoughts time to time. Which i believe it comes from being foreign and watching America on tv with violence. I know it is everywhere all around the world but i just cant help myself putting scenarios together like what if someone breaks into the house, what if someone pulls a gun since it is so easy for everyone to have it etc.. I dont wanna sound crazy but i just want to get rid of that 'America is a dangerous place' nonsense that haunts me 

The first thing to realize is that, yes some places in America can be dangerous.. but so can other places in the world. Once you think about it, you realize that a crime can happen anywhere, and yes, in some locations it may happen more frequently. I grew up in one of the most dangerous cities in America, but it's still a place I love dearly - and yes crime happened to me. But the trick is to be smart, and always be aware of your surroundings. If you feel nervous try and surround yourself with friends who are supportive network in helping you feel more comfortable. Have you talked to your spouse about how you feel? Do they feel you live in a safe area compared to other places? Is there something they can do to make you feel more assured? There are other ways to feel more confident - such as having a security system in your home, being able to arm yourself if you wish (not necessarily with a gun either), but one of the best things to do is perhaps enrolling in self defense classes. What you see on tv/film is not a true reflection of American life overall so don't focus too much on it.

[simaysimon 30]

5 minutes ago, yuna628 said:

The first thing to realize is that, yes some places in America can be dangerous.. but so can other places in the world. Once you think about it, you realize that a crime can happen anywhere, and yes, in some locations it may happen more frequently. I grew up in one of the most dangerous cities in America, but it's still a place I love dearly - and yes crime happened to me. But the trick is to be smart, and always be aware of your surroundings. If you feel nervous try and surround yourself with friends who are supportive network in helping you feel more comfortable. Have you talked to your spouse about how you feel? Do they feel you live in a safe area compared to other places? Is there something they can do to make you feel more assured? There are other ways to feel more confident - such as having a security system in your home, being able to arm yourself if you wish (not necessarily with a gun either), but one of the best things to do is perhaps enrolling in self defense classes. What you see on tv/film is not a true reflection of American life overall so don't focus too much on it.

You are absolutely right, it can happen everywhere and it is a fact that i got affected by social media a lot (seeing fights all over fb, news full of crimes etc..) thats why i call it a nonsense because it is not guaranteed that i wouldnt witness crime in the most world's safest place. I hve talked to him and he understood my fear because he knows how my life was back in my country. He suggested the same thing that we could take self defense classes. Currently he is stationed in Melbourne and i really loved in here people are so friendly and actually the crime rate is low in here. My fear is pretty prejudgemental based on what i see on social media and tvs.. I didnt get a chance to have friends and socialize yet that is why i wanted to post here and get some advice and so far it is really helping. Thank you!

[Suss&Camm 2,213]

I understand this feeling completely! And have had the same thoughts... "what was that noise" "what would I do if someone broke in when I'm alone" and so on... I accidentally flashed my headlights at a car on the road and I was like "omg, what if I pissed someone off and they have a gun"... lol I too realize it's ridiculous... and I shake my head and go "you're being dumb, stop!" Hahaha

I've thought about it and a MAJOR part of it is (at least for me) the lack of safety net and familiarity with procedures... I don't know who to call, what to do in each specific circumstance as I would know back home. Don't know what areas to avoid etc. This causes irrational fears for me... So.. part of it is educating ourselfs about our new home I suppose

I think the talk to an officer and self defense classes that were suggested are great ideas

Edited February 15, 2017 by Suss&Camm

[Dianalorena 1,153]

It comes with the territory of getting adjusted to a new country  and things are shifting really fast. It is understandable that you feel this way! I am terrified and I'm not there yet, just thinking about how the U.S is in such a transitional and complicated stage. The gun violence has always scared me, and that is funny considering I  live in Mexico. Most people think of it as a very dangerous country, which is true in some areas/neighborhoods. Just like the U.S, there is good and bad everywhere like people have said.

 

I have lived from a small island in the caribbean were my house was robbed (and this was very rare for the place)

to many years in one of the most overpopulated, complicated and  crazy cities with a lot of crime, Mexico City,  without nothing major ever happening to me. 

 

We have a saying in Spanish: Cuando te toca, ni aunque te quites y cuando no te toca, ni aunque te pongas  which loosely translates to: When it's your time, even if you step away and when it isn't your time, even if you step in. Doesn't matter where you are, bad things can happen or simply they don't happen. Living with fear is not an option, we can only hope for the best, and be prepared for the worst. At least people can get guns legally  there, which is a double edged sword for sure! 

 

big hug your way <3 

 

[TBoneTX 45,294]

An abusive post has been removed and administrative action applied.  Post constructively or don't post.

[simaysimon 30]

1 hour ago, Suss&Camm said:

I understand this feeling completely! And have had the same thoughts... "what was that noise" "what would I do if someone broke in when I'm alone" and so on... I accidentally flashed my headlights at a car on the road and I was like "omg, what if I pissed someone off and they have a gun"... lol I too realize it's ridiculous... and I shake my head and go "you're being dumb, stop!" Hahaha

I've thought about it and a MAJOR part of it is (at least for me) the lack of safety net and familiarity with procedures... I don't know who to call, what to do in each specific circumstance as I would know back home. Don't know what areas to avoid etc. This causes irrational fears for me... So.. part of it is educating ourselfs about our new home I suppose

I think the talk to an officer and self defense classes that were suggested are great ideas

Omg yes! This is exactly the same thing that i kept thinking about and then telling myself okay you are being ridicilous lol the more i read from yall the more i come to the realization that it solely is about adjusting to a new environment and i see that the more time we spend it will go away. Being a military spouse we will keep moving to new countries and other states so i will need to get rid of this fear eventually. I definitely feel a lot better after everybody's posts 

[TBoneTX 45,294]

F alse

E vidence

A ppearing

R eal

[piste 24]

On 15/02/2017 at 3:50 AM, mallafri76 said:

People break into homes in every country on the planet. The good thing with America is that in most states, you're allowed to get a gun and protect yourself.  

Not much help if you do not know how to use it, have shot at something ( exit mess not like hunting a rabbit with a BB gun) ..... and do not have one pointing at you. Never mind the fact if locked to keep away from children you have no time to get to it.

 

Just taser the ,,,,, out of them.

 

 

Edited February 16, 2017 by piste

[Ash.1101 1,756]

On 2/14/2017 at 11:10 PM, Suss&Camm said:

I understand this feeling completely! And have had the same thoughts... "what was that noise" "what would I do if someone broke in when I'm alone" and so on... I accidentally flashed my headlights at a car on the road and I was like "omg, what if I pissed someone off and they have a gun"... lol I too realize it's ridiculous... and I shake my head and go "you're being dumb, stop!" Hahaha

I've thought about it and a MAJOR part of it is (at least for me) the lack of safety net and familiarity with procedures... I don't know who to call, what to do in each specific circumstance as I would know back home. Don't know what areas to avoid etc. This causes irrational fears for me... So.. part of it is educating ourselfs about our new home I suppose

I think the talk to an officer and self defense classes that were suggested are great ideas

See I have the opposite problem! My husband has a bit of road rage in him and likes to yell and wave his hands around, but the town we live in is well... very road rage happy. People here get shot, followed, or chased for little to no reason other than "your car was too close!". It's almost at least every week maybe TWO that you'll hear about road rage incidents. So, that's put a pretty heavy fear in me since I've lived here most my life and I've seen people shot that weren't even in the wrong, like this one guy who almost had a truck (like a pickup truck, NOT 18 wheeler) reverse into him while at a gas station, the guy went to say something to the truck driver, and they talked about it cordially for maybe 5 minutes, and then the truck driver pulled out a gun and shot the man that he almost hit with his truck the first time. When the police got him, he said he didn't know why he shot the man, he just did and he feels SUPER awful about it.

With that said, when my husband waves his arms around or tries to yell at people I shut him down real quick. 

Granted though, in the other cities and states I've lived in. This is the only city where I've felt that even an angry hand wave can turn someone on you.