Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[BelwinMills 0]

Wow some crazy talking has been joining on here again. Please this site is to be helpful and I will soon be leaving like some of the other vets I can't take it some newbies need to stop being so harsh and start spreading the LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (L) (L) (L) (L) (L) :luv: :luv:

Shauna all the best with your sistuation you and you only know whats best. I say relationships are like homework that never ends. Way to go sticking threw it and don't let anyone tell you what to do with your life. I learned this years ago and have stuck to my guns. One Luv Girl!!!

[BelwinMills 0]

I wish I knew how to spell this late my head is turning. Long week okay going insead of joining lord help me

[BelwinMills 0]

Has anyone heard from Jax? I am beginning to worry that things didn't go so well...although there is no reason for that at all

Where are you Jax?!?

Jax?????

Jax?????

She's out celebrating.

I am here visa approved that was so easy. Oh my Lord can I tell you how easy it was. :energetic: :yes:

[nannygirl82 0]

JAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's about time you posted!!!! you had some of us wondering what was going on!!!!

I am SO SO SO SO happy for the both of you...and long time coming!!!! i would take their advice on the 14 business days...because it seems like that is how long it is taking to get!!!!!!

[Jamaica to CT 0]

:dance: Congrats Jax!! :dance:

[Shemmy 4]

:dance: Congrats Jax!! :dance:

Congrats

[luvtravlin 0]

I think thats a good idea, to have someone your SO can relate to when coming to the States. This has to be a cuture shock for them and being around the "familiar faces" is sure to help in some sort of way. This also brings up the fact that these Black men are coming from a country where their race is the majority. They never knew what it felt like to be the minority in their country, or hometown, or HOUSE for that matter. That can drive anyone crazy, trust me. Do some of your guys live in a neighborhood or city, where there are not many Black faces? Not much Black culture? That makes a HUGE difference. Its not a racist thing its just a comfort level. I grew up in a city that was 80% Black. There were cultural events catered to my race, people looked like me, talked like me, and I was made to feel of a higher self worth by just having the support and understanding of my people. When I went to college......BAM culture shock! The Black race was about %15-20. It was extremely hard to relate and fit in. People joked about my "accent", asked stupid questions about my hair, I couldnt find Black hair care products, not many Black churches, no old school music,hip hop or R&B to listen to on the radio, I was the only Black person in my major classes for the next 5 years! It was VERY lonely! This country is HUGE on race. Its in our face all the time. So you have to know when coming to America, race plays a big part on who you are. This isnt an issue in Jamaica. I'm am sure everyone, no matter what your race is can relate to this, if you ever were placed in a situation where you are no longer the majority.

I have heard some White people say how hard it was for them to first go to Jamaica, because they knew they would be the minority, or I have had White friend not want to go to certain clubs with me because they would be a minority. I'm sure these situations conjuer up anxiety of the unknown, and unfamiliar. The only thing is that many of those White people don't realize that Blacks and many other races do it EVERY DAY! Now think about this Jamaican man, who has to be the ONLY one, the MINORITY, coming from a place where Black faces own businesses, teach classrooms, are on the face of money. I think this is an issue that can cause depression, homesickness, resentment to the one who he lives with, etc. etc.

So as far as giving your SO a support group, maybe we need to look at a bigger and wider type of support that may be needed.

Yes, I totally agree that about not seeing black faces. I believe that is very important. We live in a very "cultured" neighborhood, although we aren't in a "hip hop/city area. We live in Ellicott City, close to the historic part. It's very cool here. This is a "rich" county with alot of white "with money" area....shoot, not that "I" have any, but it's around us --well outside of our apartment complex.

I am white and so is my son....but "I" have friends from all races.....most of my friends are black and all of my best guy friends are black and I have introduced Craig to all of them. He likes them and they like him back. All but one of my sons friends are black. I have raised my son not to "see" color (unlike myself....I was NOT raised that way). I do (and have always) only listened to hip hop/R&B/Reggae from waaaaaaay back when... since I was in the 4th grade or so.

My entire apartment from waaaaay before I met Craig is "caribbean/jamaican". One of my good friends in Jamaica carves and I have TONS of his artwork throughout the place. I actually asked Craig today if he felt the apartment was "girlie" and he was like, heck no....I feel right at home.

Within Craig's 1st month here, we went to the Independence Day celebration in DC. Kimani Marley played amongst other great artists and also took him to see my friends that play in a Reggae band. They gave Craig soooooo many "props" welcoming him into the states every other song. It made him feel so special. I've taken Craig (along with my son) to alot Hip Hop/R&B concerts since he's been here. He's a soccer freak, as I am too. Since I am the travel agent for our professional indoor team here, we've been to every game.

I've been to Craig's neck of the woods in Jamaica and I've been the ONLY white person for miles. I thought that was VERY cool !!! When I first went there, his little cousins had NEVER seen a white person, shoot much less TALK with and interact with one !!!! "I" have never felt uncomfortable ever.

Craig and I look at each other..........."I" don't see color either....he's human just like me

:dance: Congrats Jax!! :dance:

Congrats

TRIPLE congrats !!!

Hey Ms. Kim

[BelwinMills 0]

The Interview May 3, 2007

May 2nd and 3rd we stayed at Christar Villa Hotel down the street from Embassy nice and a little cheaper than the Hilton. Staff there was really friendly. The Embassy is a 2 minute cab ride for like 200 JAS.

Told Dwain not to bring his phone. He said why? I told him and he left his phone at the hotel. He was worried we would not have a ride back to the hotel told him not to worry about that.

We had a 12:15pm appoinment.

We got there at 11:15pm

They started to line us up outside the doors at 11:30 for 11:30am-12:130pm appoitments.

We went threw the metal detector at the Embassy. The American guy infront of me held up his line cause he brought his cell phone in and we all told him he couldn't but he didn't believe us. So he had to go back outside and give his phone to a person who keeps it in a plastic bag and gives you a number. The lady commented on my binder as I entered It weighed at least 5 pounds. The security gaurd was like your preparied this should be easy for you guys. I hope because we have been together for about a decade.

We then walk through the court yard and enter another door. This is were Dwain pulls out his DS230 one form and signs it and his four passport photos. He gets a pink slip where he puts his passport number on the back of it and the front on the line.

We go through another set of metal detectors. Then they tell us to have a seat to the far right of the hall. This is section A. They call him up to the window. The lady takes his Birth Certificate, Wedding Certificate, Passport, DS230 part 1 and 2.

We then go sit down in section B. Dwain gets called again and his index fingers on both hands are scaned. Then we sit.

Then we go to section C. We wait and wait we can hear all the cases we laugh at the fraud ones. One guy was so funny we were like why is fighting with them. Just go reapply. And pick up the telphone so it can be private. Any way the guy got married in Jamaica before his divorice was final so the USA doesn't recogines his marriage as legal to this JA woman. He argued forever and did not win of course. This was the guy with the cell phone.

Then a guy feel out of his chair and had a seizure I felt so bad when he hit our chairs we were screaming to the USA immigration officers for help and security came. He was fine after we left. That is the first time I saw someone deal with a seizure.

There was another married couple there and telling false information. They didnt even know the names of each other kids. He was lying about how many times he visited and all kinds of things. Then the lady said you know if we find out any of this information is false you can go to jail. You sure sir you aren't trying to get to the USA. They had no photos of their wedding and didn't even know their wedding date. They said 4 people attended.

Other people were turned away for wrong paperwork like the I-864 form and others were turned away cause the sponser did not make enough money.

We waited for like ever.

Then we finally got called up for our interview. We raised our right hands and swore in. The guy joked with us from the start. He grew up around were I live. Just a 1/2 hour away from were I work. He said he knew NIU well and my hometown. He had an ex girlfriend from the town next store to me and she was also a music teacher. He asked Dwain where he met me. He said 10 years ago the officer said what speak up. He said way back in 1998 at his High School and that I came with my college and we played music together. He asked what insturment he played and I played. Then he asked when did we get married? Then he asked where I worked and laughed saying that he had some good times there too. He asked what grade I teach. When I said music he just laughed and said I really can see you two our very much in love and a wonderful couple. I really don't think I need to see anything in that binder or album. He said we were very luck to have that much information most people don't. The visa was granted we took the pink sheet the officer said do not buy his plane ticket until he recieves the visa. It should come in about 14 working days. He told us to go across the street to get the visa sent to him. So we went across the street and paid for the visa to be delivered. It cost 7 US dollars. Dwain asked the lady to call the taxi driver and he paid 30 JA for his phone call. As we were leaving a guy asked if we needed a taxi Dwain was like we just called someone. So the guy let us call to cancel the taxi so we could us him. Then we went to order our favorite pizza at Pizza Hut pinapple and pepperoni. We drove off with the pizza and I think Dwain called everyone he knew screaming. He was worried though we would not be able to fly back to Kingston because they took his passport. I told him that he could fly on his Drivers license but he didn't believe me. He loved flying and said this is the way he will go to Kingston in the next couple weeks. Oh my!!

Then after we ate one of our friends picked up Dwain and they delivered CDS to radio and tv stations. I didn't mind survior was on ugly betty and wife swape so I was cool cause he always controls the TV stations. So he was like u fine with this I said hell ya I ate my dinner alone at the restrunt and had a quite dinner.

We got to the airport early and hung out with all the musicians going to their gigs. Some are very good friends of mine. I forgot who they were playing for they were heading to Antigua. My very good friends gave me a braclet from his artist Baby Charm ghetto story. I know the bass player and drumer for him. It was like a renioun some guys I see often and others I had not seen for 5 years so I got huge hugs. We saw like everyone there and even the former Prime minster PJ Paterson and the Head lady of tourisum on the island. Dwain was like that is the artist so and so and on he went.

Sorry it took long but we had no internet for a couple of days. The guys just made some burgers and cheese sandwiches the KAOS crew is hanging out playing video games thanks to me who just brought them new computer contolers. So I am all alone on our computer sitting in the next room beside them. Well the plans our know wait to buy the ticket. Hopefully Dwain will come up Wed May 30th. I have a work party June 1st and everyone wants to meet him and then the next weekend our friends from EC are having a wino party. So the plans are starting to kick in. Dwain wants to go to school and study music. So he will. If he wants to play with artist in the future we will consider moving back to JA in 5 years. We will decided then.

Question about getting dual citzenship. My friends said bring your passport birth certificate and wedding certificate to were you got the JA passport. They will put a special stamp in your passport and you are all good with everything. Doesn't sound tough at all. I hope that answers your question Kim.

[BelwinMills 0]

Within Craig's 1st month here, we went to the Independence Day celebration in DC. Kimani Marley played amongst other great artists and also took him to see my friends that play in a Reggae band. They gave Craig soooooo many "props" welcoming him into the states every other song. It made him feel so special. I've taken Craig (along with my son) to alot Hip Hop/R&B concerts since he's been here. He's a soccer freak, as I am too. Since I am the travel agent for our professional indoor team here, we've been to every game.

I've been to Craig's neck of the woods in Jamaica and I've been the ONLY white person for miles. I thought that was VERY cool !!! When I first went there, his little cousins had NEVER seen a white person, shoot much less TALK with and interact with one !!!! "I" have never felt uncomfortable ever.

Okay all pray that the USAA wins the bid for the summer olympics. Soccer will be in out town then in 2016. How cool would that be. I know far off but still super cool.

Thanks for the congrats everyone!!!

[BelwinMills 0]

One more thing we arrived at the Embassy at 11:15pm and left at 2:30pm.

[kimlbs 0]

yes, color is not an issue over in our neck of the woods either. My son is half black and just about everyone I know is mixed with something. We live in California and the diversity is enormous...I can see how that would be a problem for those that do not have the diversity surrounding them. I am glad you posted Marlita...it does make a lot of sense and is worth exploring.......

So......how many vets are we losing because some new folks do not know how to act in this thread???? Personally, I am taking my beef off line and moving on.....It is really sad because I think everyone has different experiences and perspectives to share and some of them can be most helpful and eye opening. If you would have bet me 1 year ago that I was going to experience some of these challenges, I would have lost.....The cultural adjustment is tough and challenges emense. So...do I think Duane came to America for opportunity...absolutely NOT....like Dee said, sometimes he reminds me of how "sweet" his life was in Jamaica and how much he misses it. He has to start all over and "crawl" before he walks.....He came because of me....we had the option of staying in Jamaica and we both agreed that the "opportunities" to have a better life for all of us would be in America. Even now, we talk about bringing his daughter to live with us because her educational opportunities are more readily available to her here in the USA.....So.....if you do not think opportunity plays any role in the lifestyle...dig your head out of the sand and face reality......Is the relationship based only on opportunity....ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!

I think Darlene was simply pointing out that America is the land of opportunity....does it mean that it is any better than Jamaica???...not at all.....Does it mean that the relationship was established for opportunity reasons??? NO...does it mean that the men shoudl thank you for bringing them to this crazy Country...No WAY.....It is simply the facts that America is more advanced than any other Country and all races, cultures and people can have an opportunity if they work hard and deserve it......

So...with that bit of footage....I sign out...this thread has become something I simply can not stomach.....It is really too bad that some new lady from the UK has decided to take something so "sweet" and turn it into personal attacks and personalize things.....I certainly hope you STAY Far away from the yahoo group...I will keep my updates posted on that.....To the original posse: Darlene, Jonesie, Minday, Ms Squitto, Denden, Shemonya, Rhonda, Kelly, Jamie, Shauna, Michelle, Jax, Ricardo wife, Ebony...and ANYONE ELSE I forgot..peace and love.......May all your future dreams come true....The ALIEN has possesed this thread and I leave before I get all ignorant and have to get "ghetto" on the UK child........

[BelwinMills 0]

I am gone for awhile to because of things and Dwain is not here for better oppurtunites because he loves me. He could of had wonderful sucess touring for artist here and has all his wonderful friends her. It is not a black white issue here cause my town is a mixed college town. He has been around all white enviroments at work and working with my college. Dwain said there would be no way he would come to the USA if I was not there. He chose love over his carrer so all the best and peace. Maybe in the future I will return but AG girl you have no clue what u have interupted or runied with your judgments here.

Peace out and Love

Jax

If anyone needs some help on VJ about CR1 pm. Love to the vets. I will PM some of u time to time to keep in contact. If negativity does stop I will be back soon come. Bye my yutes.

[Shemmy 4]

So...with that bit of footage....I sign out...this thread has become something I simply can not stomach.....It is really too bad that some new lady from the UK has decided to take something so "sweet" and turn it into personal attacks and personalize things.....I certainly hope you STAY Far away from the yahoo group...I will keep my updates posted on that.....To the original posse: Darlene, Jonesie, Minday, Ms Squitto, Denden, Shemonya, Rhonda, Kelly, Jamie, Shauna, Michelle, Jax, Ricardo wife, Ebony...and ANYONE ELSE I forgot..peace and love.......May all your future dreams come true....The ALIEN has possesed this thread and I leave before I get all ignorant and have to get "ghetto" on the UK child........

I personally think a veteran is poisoning the thread. I'll leave my thoughts to myself but trust me...it's not only the newbies. I feel so offended (more so than ever) by the comments made today and yesterday......

I will continue to lurk and post because this website does not make or break me or my marriage....

Good night ladies.

Edited May 5, 2007 by sjb1221

[Jonesie 1]

In regards to all the drama and whatnot that's been going on here - I know that it won't always be peace, love and hairgrease but I feel that everyone should be able to post their opinions without generalizing/stereotyping. Based on the past recent arguments it seems like this has been the start of it all.

Those that have been here with me from back in the day know that I have nothin but love but seriously all this pettiness is getting old. I know this is about to hurt some feelings but we (boardies) need to be focused on making our relationships/marriages/families work and not trying to browbeat/nitpick/argue at the drop of a hat. All of the energy wasted on arguing here is ridiculous.

Seriously, I would have been up like a few and left a long time ago but this forum was one of the biggest reasons hubby and I made it thru this whole visa process so far and I am more than grateful to those that were here before me sharing their experiences. I want to give back what I was given, which was encouragement, words of advice, great tips on applying for the visa and completing all the necessary steps, and just to chat with my yardie peeps here.

I hope that things change soon, because if not it will definitely be the end of what started out as one of the most positive and powerful resources not only on this board for yardies and other West Indian peeps in general going through this process.

[BelwinMills 0]

So...with that bit of footage....I sign out...this thread has become something I simply can not stomach.....It is really too bad that some new lady from the UK has decided to take something so "sweet" and turn it into personal attacks and personalize things.....I certainly hope you STAY Far away from the yahoo group...I will keep my updates posted on that.....To the original posse: Darlene, Jonesie, Minday, Ms Squitto, Denden, Shemonya, Rhonda, Kelly, Jamie, Shauna, Michelle, Jax, Ricardo wife, Ebony...and ANYONE ELSE I forgot..peace and love.......May all your future dreams come true....The ALIEN has possesed this thread and I leave before I get all ignorant and have to get "ghetto" on the UK child........

I personally think a veteran is poisoning the thread. I'll leave my thoughts to myself but trust me...it's not only the newbies. I feel so offended (more so than ever) by the comments made today and yesterday......

I will continue to lurk and post because this website does not make or break me or my marriage....

Good night ladies.

I love this site but am torn about what has been happening. I come back and want to cry because this has been a great support system. Stay or go I don't know many have been so helpful and your right one or two bad apple post shouldn't hurt the bunch. I am going to continue to read for awhile because I need to know focus on my family and our dreams for life. I thank everyone who has been so kind and considerite so I will see. And my would these boys stop playing video games geeish. :lol: