Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[*JG* 2]

ok guys.

I know this will sound way more negative than I mean it but..do you ever feel like you just cant do it anymore? The being apart, relying on crappy phones, stretching EVERY SINGLE penny all for what seems like nothing? Not nothing as in the relationship is nothing, but as in no advances? It is as though I think everyday will get easier..but it doesnt it never does. It gets harder and harder and sometimes is VERY frustrating.

Perhaps it is just my situation but I know if it wasn't for the Lord taking care of me and the faith I am still clinging to then I WOULD BE GOING CRAZY right now!

It just seems as though communication is getting even harder to have. Marsh lost a phone. Then the phone messed up. Now the service sucks and I know he isnt cheating on my or doing this on purpose or anything like that but its just at that point where I just cant BE LIKE this.

These are minor minor things compared to what we will go through and what many of you have gone thru..but it doesn't seem minor to me right now.

ARGH.

So.. any miracle cures out there for the "im-about-to-go-nuts-because-my-husband-is-still-in-jamaica-and-it-sucks" illness?

People used to tell me "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" or "God never gives you more then you can handle". I used to reply, I should be Superman by now and I wish he didn't have so much faith in me.

All you can do is deal with what you are given. Yah, I would say communications coming out of Jamaica used to get me really down. Since I'm in kind of a crappy mood today, I'm not going to say what I think of that today.

Suffice to say, when I was where you are, I thought it was as bad as it could get and I nearly lost it a few times. I thought once I made it through that, it would be smooth sailing. I was wrong. But, you know what, I've made it through it all and I've lived to tell. Use your friends, your family, your fiance, your co-wokers, the internet.........see a silly movie, read a book, go for a walk.........whatever it takes. Tell yourself tomorrow will be so much better. Thank God for today and ask him to make tomorrow better. Go to sleep and when the sun shines in on you in the morning, thank God for the day. Hopefully, that will be just what you need to make everything to turn better for you. I've found that when I started really looking for the postives in any given situation, the bad just didn't seem as bad. If you can't change the situation, you CAN change your outlook on it.

Edited November 12, 2007 by Jomo's girl

[Forever Young 1]

ok guys.

I know this will sound way more negative than I mean it but..do you ever feel like you just cant do it anymore? The being apart, relying on crappy phones, stretching EVERY SINGLE penny all for what seems like nothing? Not nothing as in the relationship is nothing, but as in no advances? It is as though I think everyday will get easier..but it doesnt it never does. It gets harder and harder and sometimes is VERY frustrating.

Perhaps it is just my situation but I know if it wasn't for the Lord taking care of me and the faith I am still clinging to then I WOULD BE GOING CRAZY right now!

It just seems as though communication is getting even harder to have. Marsh lost a phone. Then the phone messed up. Now the service sucks and I know he isnt cheating on my or doing this on purpose or anything like that but its just at that point where I just cant BE LIKE this.

These are minor minor things compared to what we will go through and what many of you have gone thru..but it doesn't seem minor to me right now.

ARGH.

So.. any miracle cures out there for the "im-about-to-go-nuts-because-my-husband-is-still-in-jamaica-and-it-sucks" illness?

Shrewdie,

I'm right there with you Girl!! It's frustrating, irriating and dyam right ANNOYING!!! Like you're ready to drive and you're stuck in neutral or even PARK!!! Like Jomo & Kimmy said I wish there was a magic pill or box or something to get pass this stage, but there isn't! Just keep relying on your faith and prayers...that's what I'm doing right now. My NOA2 should have been here by now and still nothing...but in another way I really do feel if WE can make it through this in one piece, the world is the limit.

To say this process is a lesson in patience is a HUGE understatement! Just know we are all here for each other. Trust me Chica, I FEEL YOUR PAIN...cause right now it's mine too!!! All the other people on here feel it for you too...cause at one point or another it was their pain also!!!

I get through by saying "One day, one day..." everyday! Or I play 'the nextis'...Next Thanksgiving, we'll be together or Next time I have to move the clock forward, he'll be here, Easter, we'll be together...little things like that kindda help to remind me it's not gonna be forever!

Just hang in and have faith!!

Blessed everytime,

Gill

[shrewdgal 0]

ok guys.

I know this will sound way more negative than I mean it but..do you ever feel like you just cant do it anymore? The being apart, relying on crappy phones, stretching EVERY SINGLE penny all for what seems like nothing? Not nothing as in the relationship is nothing, but as in no advances? It is as though I think everyday will get easier..but it doesnt it never does. It gets harder and harder and sometimes is VERY frustrating.

Perhaps it is just my situation but I know if it wasn't for the Lord taking care of me and the faith I am still clinging to then I WOULD BE GOING CRAZY right now!

It just seems as though communication is getting even harder to have. Marsh lost a phone. Then the phone messed up. Now the service sucks and I know he isnt cheating on my or doing this on purpose or anything like that but its just at that point where I just cant BE LIKE this.

These are minor minor things compared to what we will go through and what many of you have gone thru..but it doesn't seem minor to me right now.

ARGH.

So.. any miracle cures out there for the "im-about-to-go-nuts-because-my-husband-is-still-in-jamaica-and-it-sucks" illness?

Shrewdie,

I'm right there with you Girl!! It's frustrating, irriating and dyam right ANNOYING!!! Like you're ready to drive and you're stuck in neutral or even PARK!!! Like Jomo & Kimmy said I wish there was a magic pill or box or something to get pass this stage, but there isn't! Just keep relying on your faith and prayers...that's what I'm doing right now. My NOA2 should have been here by now and still nothing...but in another way I really do feel if WE can make it through this in one piece, the world is the limit.

To say this process is a lesson in patience is a HUGE understatement! Just know we are all here for each other. Trust me Chica, I FEEL YOUR PAIN...cause right now it's mine too!!! All the other people on here feel it for you too...cause at one point or another it was their pain also!!!

I get through by saying "One day, one day..." everyday! Or I play 'the nextis'...Next Thanksgiving, we'll be together or Next time I have to move the clock forward, he'll be here, Easter, we'll be together...little things like that kindda help to remind me it's not gonna be forever!

Just hang in and have faith!!

Blessed everytime,

Gill

Thanks gals!! This is nuts. I have to try hard not to get jealous of "normal" people and what they have!! I feel like screaming to the heavens "I JUST WANT THE PHONE TO WORK>>THATS ALL!!!!" ahhaha

Thanks for the reminder of the hope y'all!!

Rosa

[Forever Young 1]

[

Thanks gals!! This is nuts. I have to try hard not to get jealous of "normal" people and what they have!! I feel like screaming to the heavens "I JUST WANT THE PHONE TO WORK>>THATS ALL!!!!" ahhaha

Thanks for the reminder of the hope y'all!!

Rosa

Ohhh Girl, I feel you on that one! Don't get me wrong I'm happy for their blessings. But, I would like to go to the movies or out to dinner with my hubby too!! But, Girl just remember good things come to those who wait!

, Gill

[*JG* 2]

This is from a recent MENA thread.....it goes back to our chats about LuvTravlin giving her husband the boot and the points brought up about spousal support.........Here are a few more opinions......

QUOTE(YuAndDan @ Nov 12 2007, 03:49 PM)

I-864 only kicks in if EX uses means tested benefits from State and US government, you can be billed for those services.

Only way out of the I-864 binding contract is when one of the following 5 conditions are met.

Immigrant Dies

Sponsor Dies

Immigrant works and is credited with 40 quarters of work.

Immigrant leaves the USA and abandons LPR status

Immigrant naturalizes and becomes a US citizen.

I've done some research on the internet before finding this site, and oh yea, if the alien knows how to work the system, you can get sued to provide a payment to the ex for 125% of poverty level as a support - check out existing New York and Florida cases...I don't have an extra $12K a year to give this guy if he won't work to offset the amount unless me and the munchkin live in a cardboard box somewhere to cut the expenses required to be able to pay him to sit on his butt. Some incentive for aliens to become "useful" residents of the States...there is no incentive for him to work or become a citizen if there are no penalties for his behavior, or lack thereof...

I brought up the fraud comment and asked if that is a way out of the above. I await their replies.

[Yaads 0]

Afternoon everyone!

Thanks for all the advice regarding the removing of conditions...not sure what I am going to do just yet but I am checking it all out. I posted in the RC forum and got some great advice as well...going to keep researching.

Hope you all had a great weekend...it is wicked here. We are having one big storm...rain and wind. Tons of people without power and trees down all over the place. Fun times.

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

Shoot girl, no worries at all !!! Like I said....that there are only a FEW relationships that are "still in tact" and that are truly happy, healthy, prosperous and whatever other positive words you want to use

Oh, but I forgot to include that those relationships are for those that HAVE their men here !!!

Actually there are quite a few of us whose relationships are still in tact! Maybe I need to post it on here - we need some positive news

Still going strong:

Rhonda & Tony

Mindy

Jomo

Jonesie

Shemonya (sjb1221)

Elizabeth & Henry

Squitto

Julie (sbys)

Jax (Belwinmills)

Brownskin (Dee & Dave) - had their problems, but back on strong

Who am I forgetting? I only included those that are both here in the U.S. and have been married for a good amount of time now. It can be done! Feel free to start a "newbie" list too of those just married or just moved here in the past 3-6 months or so. I'm a bit shaky on all the names still.

Some of these ladies don't frequent the board much anymore, but they're still together. Also, my friend Jackie and her husband (some of you may remember her from VJ) are doing great! They got married about 4 months before Tony and I.

So that's my happy, cheerful news for the day :energetic:

LOL Yeah, we are still going strong. Yesterday was a sweet day (I make sure I enjoy those). Nothing fancy...We drove around town, ran our errands and cooked dinner together (not one disagreement over how much browning sauce to use or how yardies don't like putty putty rice like Trinis and Guyanese do ) and just mellowed out at home.

I just encourage all couples who decide that they can make it, to not give up too soon. Our biggest hurdle right now is dealing with the frustation of not having a child yet. I had one early miscarriage. Some days I used to want to jump out a window. But God is very merciful and when I am down Henry decides he won't give up on his marriage and when he is down, I try to encourage him. It's very, very draining (this whole baby thing), so keep us in your prayers.

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

Afternoon everyone!

Thanks for all the advice regarding the removing of conditions...not sure what I am going to do just yet but I am checking it all out. I posted in the RC forum and got some great advice as well...going to keep researching.

Hope you all had a great weekend...it is wicked here. We are having one big storm...rain and wind. Tons of people without power and trees down all over the place. Fun times.

Champion Bubbler!

I have to keep my eye on you, champyan bubbla!

[Yaads 0]

Afternoon everyone!

Thanks for all the advice regarding the removing of conditions...not sure what I am going to do just yet but I am checking it all out. I posted in the RC forum and got some great advice as well...going to keep researching.

Hope you all had a great weekend...it is wicked here. We are having one big storm...rain and wind. Tons of people without power and trees down all over the place. Fun times.

Champion Bubbler!

I have to keep my eye on you, champyan bubbla!

Yuh betta watch out Mi nah easy at all

Sorry to hear that you are still having problems concieving You know you are always in my prayers and have been since day 1. I hope it happens for you...I know it is your heart's desire. (((BIG HUGS)))

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

)

Brownskin (Dee & Dave) - had their problems, but back on strong

Damn straight! I tuk back what the devil ...tiredto steal from mi. Babelyon(msp) no nah fi come round yersso, you see it. "Where there is marriage there will be trouble" Mi just know fi have somtin waiting fi him, fi him deside to come back I agree with Jamie, I never came into this thinking I was "better" than my husband, or had to rescue him from a life of poverty, I did how ever felt the need to protect him from this or that or explain everything once we arrived here. I mothered him. I stopped, it's not like he listened anyway, somethings they he had to find out the had wey. Honestly, it feels so good to over come. Sometimes I lie in bed and cry because I cannot believe how blessed we are, what we have been able to come through. I love that song..."I'm a movement by myself but we are a force when we're togehter" describes us to a T. Often I have trouble keeping up with him, He works so hard. Like I would pray for God to send mi someone who would at least put in 25-50% in to the marriage. My husband gives me 125%, Where much is given, much is required...to maintain. All mi have teh seh it's damn hard wuk and it have teh come from both parties.

You go girl!!

Very true on the whole coming off like a mother in trying to help him get adjusted. I had to do so much and it wore me out and made him feel like a loser - nobody won. So now there are many matters that he handles on his own. He still seeks my help and advice, but I no longer volunteer it.

Edited November 12, 2007 by Elizabethnhenry

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

Afternoon everyone!

Thanks for all the advice regarding the removing of conditions...not sure what I am going to do just yet but I am checking it all out. I posted in the RC forum and got some great advice as well...going to keep researching.

Hope you all had a great weekend...it is wicked here. We are having one big storm...rain and wind. Tons of people without power and trees down all over the place. Fun times.

Champion Bubbler!

I have to keep my eye on you, champyan bubbla!

Yuh betta watch out Mi nah easy at all

Sorry to hear that you are still having problems concieving You know you are always in my prayers and have been since day 1. I hope it happens for you...I know it is your heart's desire. (((BIG HUGS)))

Thanks sweets! The doc was telling me yesterday, I have some great eggs and I could sell my eggs. Apparently I stand to make some serious cash.

[Yaads 0]

You go girl!!

Very true on the whole coming off like a mother in trying to help him get adjusted. I had to do so much and it wore me out and made him feel like a loser - nobody won. So now there are many matters that he handles on his own. He still seeks my help and advice, but I no longer volunteer it.

So true!

Thanks sweets! The doc was telling me yesterday, I have some great eggs and I could sell my eggs. Apparently I stand to make some serious cash.

Make that money! Don't sell too many though...you need them to get those quads you were always hoping for

[Sonshyne 2]

UPDATED MARRIAGE LIST

Myisha & Ricardo (ricardoswife) - 08-28-03

Rhonda & Tony - 12-11-04

Shemonya (sjb1221) and Damien - 01-07-05

Elizabeth & Henry - 1-16-05

Darah & Henry (doodle) - 07-30-05

Jamie & Andre - 09-27-05

Julie (sbys) - 11-18-05

Squitto - 02-14-06

Jonesie - 02-17-06

Mindy & Roy - 03-03-06

Kelly (Jomo) & Andre - 06-29-06

Jax (Belwinmills) - 08-08-06

Mr & mrs Jengles - 08-27-06

Jenice & David (USA-Jamaica) - 12-20-06

Tonya & Fitz (Tonya) - 3-17-07

Pam & Neil (Sonshyne) -06-22-07

Sarah & Marlon (NowMrs) - 10-13-07

Dee & Dave - Brownskin

Kimmy & Kashi --05-21-05

Tanya & Verton (morantbaygirl)

Tam & Aaron (JA Tam)

[JA Tam 7]

Hi All,

It has been two weeks since David arrived. Things are going really well for the most part. David got his SSC on Thursday and my baby went and got his GA driver's license on yesterday . I am so happy for him. He has a few leads on jobs so he will start applying for them next week.

I think he is adjusting to his new life in the USA. He is not calling JA much at all. A couple of his immediate family members do have the mega phone and call pretty frequently. We are truly blessed that David does have several very close friends that live in the Atlanta area as well as thru out the US.

Adjusting to living together....well he was here 3 month last fall so we just felt back into the groove we develop then.

All in all I am truly enjoying my husband finally being here permanently. Yes we have the normal couple arguments but we are just learning and exploring each others. Hopefully David will get his green card in the couple of week so we will be set for then next two years

Congrats Jenice. I am so happy for you and David.

[JA Tam 7]

UPDATED MARRIAGE LIST

Myisha & Ricardo (ricardoswife) - 08-28-03

Tam & Aaron (JA Tam) - 12-18-2003

Rhonda & Tony - 12-11-04

Shemonya (sjb1221) and Damien - 01-07-05

Elizabeth & Henry - 1-16-05

Kimmy & Kashi --05-21-05

Darah & Henry (doodle) - 07-30-05

Jamie & Andre - 09-27-05

Julie (sbys) - 11-18-05

Squitto - 02-14-06

Jonesie - 02-17-06

Mindy & Roy - 03-03-06

Kelly (Jomo) & Andre - 06-29-06

Jax (Belwinmills) - 08-08-06

Mr & mrs Jengles - 08-27-06

Jenice & David (USA-Jamaica) - 12-20-06

Tonya & Fitz (Tonya) - 3-17-07

Pam & Neil (Sonshyne) -06-22-07

Sarah & Marlon (NowMrs) - 10-13-07

Dee & Dave - Brownskin

Tanya & Verton (morantbaygirl)