Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[Shemmy 4]

Shoot girl, no worries at all !!! Like I said....that there are only a FEW relationships that are "still in tact" and that are truly happy, healthy, prosperous and whatever other positive words you want to use

Oh, but I forgot to include that those relationships are for those that HAVE their men here !!!

Actually there are quite a few of us whose relationships are still in tact! Maybe I need to post it on here - we need some positive news

Still going strong:

Rhonda & Tony

Mindy

Jomo

Jonesie

Shemonya (sjb1221)

Elizabeth & Henry

Squitto

Julie (sbys)

Jax (Belwinmills)

Brownskin (Dee & Dave) - had their problems, but back on strong

Who am I forgetting? I only included those that are both here in the U.S. and have been married for a good amount of time now. It can be done! Feel free to start a "newbie" list too of those just married or just moved here in the past 3-6 months or so. I'm a bit shaky on all the names still.

Some of these ladies don't frequent the board much anymore, but they're still together. Also, my friend Jackie and her husband (some of you may remember her from VJ) are doing great! They got married about 4 months before Tony and I.

So that's my happy, cheerful news for the day :energetic:

You have Darah (doodle) and Henry and US! Jamie and Andre - still have problems but getting stronger every day.

That's great Jamie

[rhondapayter 0]

I understand what Kelly is saying too. But how long is she going to be miserable?? She keeps saying the same thing over and over again. No one said it would be easy. Maybe I'm just tired of hearing about it.

I agree. There is no way I'd let it go on and on with no resolution in sight. It would be emotionally draining. Not to mention, wasting time that could be spent with a new guy who actually treats you with love and respect

[rhondapayter 0]

You have Darah (doodle) and Henry and US! Jamie and Andre - still have problems but getting stronger every day.

Sorry Jamie I was debating whether to put you on or not! Thanks for clarifying.

oh and Myisha and Ricardo going for longer than us all!

You know, I was going to put them on the list but I haven't talked to her or seen her on here in so long! Does anyone know how they're doing?

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Ok , I finally got a chance to get on and write something. Just wanna say I'm still reading and will make comments later...work a kill mi today

Quickly, Jomo patois is just a thing that the ppl used to use so the slave masters would not understand them. It is not taught in and it is not encouraged to speak..but I take it as an outlet somethings u get a across quick if u say it in patois. It is written if u find some old folk story book or an author insert words to spice up a story.

Rhonda like that statement u made about how u felt when hubby came as if u were somehow better..I must agree I try to make everything clear for my hubby and make sure he gets it, something comes our way we talk about it whether he wants to or not even he sits there and I do all the talking..that he tells me I can talk but in the end 'im affi chat bout it cause mi nah let it go. I try my best to express to him that I graduated college and I would love to see him go to school and experience it here. I remember how I felt when I moved here with my father and step mother no one could tell me that I was ever going to adjust. I refused to wash my white clothes in the machine cause it just didn't do it right, couldn't eat take out cause mi used to mi home cook meal..stuff like that...

And Jawi u betta work wid dat fierce idea fi get him out

Mi no done yet mi soon come back..nuff tings fi read

Kimmy

[Shemmy 4]

I understand what Kelly is saying too. But how long is she going to be miserable?? She keeps saying the same thing over and over again. No one said it would be easy. Maybe I'm just tired of hearing about it.

I agree. There is no way I'd let it go on and on with no resolution in sight. It would be emotionally draining. Not to mention, wasting time that could be spent with a new guy who actually treats you with love and respect

The vets have heard it forever.

I do pray that Kelly will find the strength to make a decision to stay with Craig or not.

[rhondapayter 0]

That's why I asked the questions earlier. I know me...and I am crazy too. He would come home to an empty refrigerator and cabinets. I would eat before I got home. I would not carry cash or anything that he could get his hands on my money. I would pull the distributor cap out of the car at night when I parked and hide it.

I would make his life pure hell in my home too. He would wake up to a wet a** because I would pee the bed every night he decided to climb in next to me. I would let him "view" that time of the month still floating in the toilet. I would be a nasty FILTHY HOHO to get him to leave.

Ah joke mi mek...but yuhseemi same wey. LOL LOL

I'm laughing so hard there are tears rolling down my face Some of those are actually really good ideas though! I was going to mention bringing home another man and rooksin' with him in the next room That might get his attention!

[*JG* 2]

Rhonda, I thought Mindy said something recently to me about Ricardo doing well. I could be wrong though.

[Yaads 0]

I heard from My a while back and she said things were great.

Rhonda...no worries

[rhondapayter 0]

Rhonda, I thought Mindy said something recently to me about Ricardo doing well. I could be wrong though.

Not not I know of. I'll ask her. Myisha was on here quite a few months ago. They were still doing good last time she stopped by.

[*JG* 2]

How many more pages do you think we'll get before they make (part 5) for us?

[Yaads 0]

Hmmm...I think we can get to 800 at least.

[jawi876 2]

That's why I asked the questions earlier. I know me...and I am crazy too. He would come home to an empty refrigerator and cabinets. I would eat before I got home. I would not carry cash or anything that he could get his hands on my money. I would pull the distributor cap out of the car at night when I parked and hide it.

I would make his life pure hell in my home too. He would wake up to a wet a** because I would pee the bed every night he decided to climb in next to me. I would let him "view" that time of the month still floating in the toilet. I would be a nasty FILTHY HOHO to get him to leave.

Ah joke mi mek...but yuhseemi same wey. LOL LOL

I'm laughing so hard there are tears rolling down my face Some of those are actually really good ideas though! I was going to mention bringing home another man and rooksin' with him in the next room That might get his attention!

ohhh I would do that too...before I peed the bed though. I would get one of the waterproof pads, and Niagra Falls here he comes! When he got upset, I would say his behavior has given me Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I would not be above peeing during sex with him either...well if you insist.

I would wash his clothes separately and find a way to ruin them every time. Whites with new pair of jeans. Colors with a new bottle of bleach the big one. I would cook for him, but my hair would be in his plate every time...maybe from downstairs too. I would be the most disgusting woman he ever had the pleasure of knowing. My mind is very devious.

Eat up Craig....did you like it honey? Then, he got to almost finished....BAM...how did your pum hair get on my chicken? Oh honey, I decided to cook naked for you. You had me so turned on...and I was waiting for you to come home to me and a home cooked meal.

[Yaads 0]

That's great Jamie

Thanks

[luvtravlin 0]

I'm sorry to...but trust me, I'll be okay. I thank god EVERYday that I have my friends that I met with on VJ that support me and are there for me everyday....and you know who you guys are !!!!! If not, than I would have jumped off the nearest bridge long ago !!

Unfortunately, "I" don't have many options at this point.... I can't get a separation because he LIVES here. In Maryland you have to be legally separated for a yr before you can file for divorce. Hence, I can't MAKE him leave.

Number 2, in regards to a protection order, I haven't looked into the filing a separation 1st....but I do know that I have to show proof that he's been abusive, or whatever else.... we've been there done that, bought the T-shirt (2 1/2 months ag)....he CHANGED (for the better) for a month and now back to square one. I told him last night (in one of his rages) IF he were to even TRY to even get physical again, remember that "I" was REEEEEAL nice the 1st time !!!! and there are absolutely NO 2nd chances !!!

Also, since I've been supporting all of us financially from day one (although he's been working nonstop since July of LAST year) "I" don't have ANY extra money to pay for him to leave, nor do I feel "I" need to pay for him to leave. He throws that "you are responsible for me" in my face (his cousin tells him that) and I tell him.........um, ya betta watch what you say with that because "I" could soooo show proof that this was fraud, so you may want to think of something else !!!

He threatens ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of the time that he is going to leave, but he needs money. I do NOT UNDERSTAND why he just won't go and stay with that good ole family in Philly !!! His brother knows everything and how he's been treating me, etc etc and I told him that he NEEDS to get out of here. Not quite sure they take me seriously.

I say to him all the time, wow you REALLY put up quite an act for being such a wonderful person BEFORE you got here.......seriously, have you ever really and truly thought about an acting career ?? He says, I wasn't acting.... yeah, okay !!!

He's immature, plain and simple..... he'll grow up someday, but "I" won't be around to see that happen. I said that "I" am training him to be a better person for the next one !!

I find it difficult to believe that you REALLY want to him leave.....why would you pick him up, drop him off anywhere? Or pick up the phone when he called from the wedding?

Or speak to his relatives?

If you think there's a chance, then you need to work on that, if there is NO chance and you REALLY want to get rid of him, it's easy enough.

Don't speak to him, don't cook for him, don't answer the phone to him, don't go anywhere with him....While it's not my business, from I've seen, you SAY you want him out, but put up with him being there.

That's why I asked the questions earlier. I know me...and I am crazy too. He would come home to an empty refrigerator and cabinets. I would eat before I got home. I would not carry cash or anything that he could get his hands on my money. I would pull the distributor cap out of the car at night when I parked and hide it.

I would make his life pure hell in my home too. He would wake up to a wet a** because I would pee the bed every night he decided to climb in next to me. I would let him "view" that time of the month still floating in the toilet. I would be a nasty FILTHY HOHO to get him to leave.

Ah joke mi mek...but yuhseemi same wey. LOL LOL

I do WANT out. Why should "I" pick up my life and my sons and move ??? That's NOT happening. I live in a low income apartment, which I am NOT willing to give up and move !!! The aptmt management doesn't know he lives here, nor will I tell them that !

I have tried over and over again to make it work. "I" TOLERATE him being here, just like a roommate....sucks, but it's reality!!! I was sent down this path for whatever reasons and I'm trying to deal with it the best that I can. Craig never ever sees me as "miserable". I too am a GREAT actress !!! Me and my son laugh and have a good time. He HATES it! Trust me "I" make HIS life miserable to the fullest !!! Had to come to that months ago.... SUCKS, but that's the way it is.

If and when he ever calls (never does though), I do not answer. I do not pick him up and drop him off ANYwhere. He takes the bus everywhere. He's even chosen NOT to go to work because I wouldn't take him....whatever! I never picked him up from the bus station when he came home from Philly, I guess he got a cab, I was asleep when he got home !! When he called from Philly, he was using my cell phone, didn't expect for one moment that his father would be on the other end!

We don't speak to each other, even when he talks to me sometimes, I completely ignore him because I know what's going to come out of his mouth !! That's when the RAGE starts to boil within him....like last night. We don't sleep together, we don't go anywhere together, I do NOT cook for him, I do NOT do his laundry, I do not clean up after him EVER! Trust me, he's seen the bare refrigerator for the past 3 months with only foods in there that me and my son eat!!! and kisses his teeth everytime he opens it and makes a comment....when are you going to buy food and I just laugh!! I hide my keys (house/car) and the house phones. I take the change (silver) out of the basket and put it in the car so that he has to find other means for bus change. I've had worse roommates, but that's what we are ....roommates! He also doesn't have a clue that I take money out of his bank account to pay for things like the phone and electric. When I buy food I buy stuff that he doesn't like (or know how to cook) or my son and I will go out and eat.

I had no intentions of filing for AOS and I did not pay for any of it. I told him either he LEAVES the US before that cut off date OR we'll file and once he's approved we're going to split, but he does NOT have to live here in the meantime. Yep, being nice...and YEP I totally could have been a TOTAL bee-atch and called immigration and whatnot at the time..... those are the bad decisions that I now have to live with !! He started getting abusive AFTER we filed ...and I'm not even sure where that all came from...!!!

I'm truly SORRY that I have come on here to BOTHER some folks and YES my relationship (not my life) is F&&Ked up, it truly DOES suck!!! Yes, for awhile I would have LOVED for it to have worked ....but it's not going to ! I pray to God every night that he would give Craig the strength to MOVE ON !!! I ask Craig WHY doesn't he just leave???

Anyway, this will be my last post !!!

[*JG* 2]

That's why I asked the questions earlier. I know me...and I am crazy too. He would come home to an empty refrigerator and cabinets. I would eat before I got home. I would not carry cash or anything that he could get his hands on my money. I would pull the distributor cap out of the car at night when I parked and hide it.

I would make his life pure hell in my home too. He would wake up to a wet a** because I would pee the bed every night he decided to climb in next to me. I would let him "view" that time of the month still floating in the toilet. I would be a nasty FILTHY HOHO to get him to leave.

Ah joke mi mek...but yuhseemi same wey. LOL LOL

I'm laughing so hard there are tears rolling down my face Some of those are actually really good ideas though! I was going to mention bringing home another man and rooksin' with him in the next room That might get his attention!

ohhh I would do that too...before I peed the bed though. I would get one of the waterproof pads, and Niagra Falls here he comes! When he got upset, I would say his behavior has given me Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I would not be above peeing during sex with him either...well if you insist.

I would wash his clothes separately and find a way to ruin them every time. Whites with new pair of jeans. Colors with a new bottle of bleach the big one. I would cook for him, but my hair would be in his plate every time...maybe from downstairs too. I would be the most disgusting woman he ever had the pleasure of knowing. My mind is very devious.

Eat up Craig....did you like it honey? Then, he got to almost finished....BAM...how did your pum hair get on my chicken? Oh honey, I decided to cook naked for you. You had me so turned on...and I was waiting for you to come home to me and a home cooked meal.

Girl you are wicked. Almost scary. I'm rolling here.