Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[*JG* 2]

Umm, not sure what happened here. A few "rude statements" were made. then everyone appoligized and then words started being thrown at "Jomo's girl" or mainly at her??? and then other people who wanted to say something about "Jomo's girl" posts in the past, felt it was fine to jump on the bandwagon. Did Jomo's girl say not to talk patios in the thread? I don't see that post, maybe I didn't go back far enough to read where she made that comment. Oh and of course can't forget bad gyal nuh back down from nuttin.

carry on ladies

It's okay, Jengles. But, thanks for the sentiment.

All I said was READING Patois gives me a headache. Anyone who inferred that I said DON'T talk Patois on any of these threads did that all on their own. And, those of you who implied I don't know my man's culture or where he comes from or even that there is some agreement that we dont' speak Patois in our home, also did that all on your own. Sweeping generalizations over and over again.

Nobody said any version of this in English or patois. You have told me that you understand it and can speak it, you just don't like to read it. I don't have a problem with you not reading it, which is why I started my OWN thread. You were being nasty when you said you couldn't be bothered with my story because of it, but you are in there every day. That is what most people took offense to, and that is what made me post the way I did. Some people are tired of being told that they shouldn't post in patois, and the jokes began. Again, the jokes and suss are part of the Jamaican and African American culture. You can love each other to death, but you will slew each other with the words and jokes.

Jengles what I meant about toe-to-toe on written words was just that, not a literally coming to blows. If someone wants to be snide and rude, and I can go there too. I was tired of saying it's okay Jomo, no hard feelings taken. It seems that she would post a comment to me, and then apologize if it came off rude or harsh. I wonder if she was doing it on purpose to see if I would respond. I did yesterday, and apologized.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag is allllll I gotta say !!! I haven't been on, haven't had the time, but whew, here we go ONCE AGAIN !!!!

So I'm confused WHERE did JOMO say she didn't LIKE your story ??? I think I missed that somewhere. I love the story so far, patois and everything and I do seem to skim over the patois parts and I think I miss what's truly being said and then I have to go back and re-read....but sitting waiting for soccer practice 3 nights a week, gives me that time. "I" don't personally speak it at all, but fully understand it being around patois for over 10 yrs!

The other comments about JOMO telling her husband this and that ..."runnin" him, ya know.... just ridiculous !!! I too, "run" my husband -if that's what you want to call it !!! He's been here for 17 months now and STILL acts like an immature child!! We've been through ALOT in our relationship and I have given him ALL the help, guidance, support, lessons to learn, tools, etc etc etc. I have been more than patient in this so called marriage. MY HUSBAND CHANGED when he came here. HE has chosen to be "stuck" in his Jamaican past with violence, rudeness, disrespect and HE has NOT once grown from the experience that he has had here.

It has been said, over and over and over again in this yardie thread.....that there are only a FEW relationships that are "still in tact" and that are truly happy, healthy, prosperous and whatever other positive words you want to use. "MY" relationship SUCKS and I DO want out and I DO want him to leave!! He KNOWS that, we've talked about it till the cows come home. He makes alllllllllllll kinds of promises to be a better man, take care of his responsibilities, be a better husband and stepfather, ladidada..... but I NEVER see that, ever !!!! "I" canNOT kick the LOSER out of my house, but he also will NOT leave on his own !!!! He tries his best to make MY life a living he&&, but I will NOT allow him to do that. "I" AM a strong woman!! My son and I are both STRONG individuals that have a very tight relationship. My son and I talk about what's acceptable and not acceptable all the time. My son asked Craig over the weekend -AGAIN- WHY has he changed so much and that he liked the guy that he knew in Jamaica and when he first came here..... Craig's response is, your mother has changed too!!! But Craig does NOT GET the reason that "I" have changed towards him and OUR marriage is that "I" caught him having a relationship with another farrin woman....went on for 9 months that "I" know about. Anyone that has read my posts in previous yardie threads knows this. I told him to GO and be with her if that is who he truly wanted to be with. "I" have caught him numerous times giving women his cell phone number (and vice/versa). He does NOT help with bills and responsibilities around the home. He has NOT once stepped up to be a supportive and positive role model to my child. We have talked and communicated our feelings, emotions, etc etc .... it works for a day and then WHAM back to being an A-hole the next !!!!

I admire ANYones relationship that works....I truly envy those that are in JA/American relationships that work !!! but they are far and few between that "I" know of !!!!

I also know that "I" will (me and my son) be absolutely fine. I do not need a man to make me feel good about myself. Craig is the one with serious and I mean serious -especially- anger issues !!!

Not everyone. Written Patois gives me a headache. Can't bother with it.

Wow, you really did say it out loud.......and fast. What do you type 200 wpms?

I'm just going to say to this that Kelly's relationship with Craig is completely different then mine with Andre. I thank God every day that we do not have a single one of the issues she mentions.

That being said, what she describes happens more frequently then even I care to imagine.

I'm so sorry for your worries, Kel.

[luvtravlin 0]

Umm, not sure what happened here. A few "rude statements" were made. then everyone appoligized and then words started being thrown at "Jomo's girl" or mainly at her??? and then other people who wanted to say something about "Jomo's girl" posts in the past, felt it was fine to jump on the bandwagon. Did Jomo's girl say not to talk patios in the thread? I don't see that post, maybe I didn't go back far enough to read where she made that comment. Oh and of course can't forget bad gyal nuh back down from nuttin.

carry on ladies

It's okay, Jengles. But, thanks for the sentiment.

All I said was READING Patois gives me a headache. Anyone who inferred that I said DON'T talk Patois on any of these threads did that all on their own. And, those of you who implied I don't know my man's culture or where he comes from or even that there is some agreement that we dont' speak Patois in our home, also did that all on your own. Sweeping generalizations over and over again.

Nobody said any version of this in English or patois. You have told me that you understand it and can speak it, you just don't like to read it. I don't have a problem with you not reading it, which is why I started my OWN thread. You were being nasty when you said you couldn't be bothered with my story because of it, but you are in there every day. That is what most people took offense to, and that is what made me post the way I did. Some people are tired of being told that they shouldn't post in patois, and the jokes began. Again, the jokes and suss are part of the Jamaican and African American culture. You can love each other to death, but you will slew each other with the words and jokes.

Jengles what I meant about toe-to-toe on written words was just that, not a literally coming to blows. If someone wants to be snide and rude, and I can go there too. I was tired of saying it's okay Jomo, no hard feelings taken. It seems that she would post a comment to me, and then apologize if it came off rude or harsh. I wonder if she was doing it on purpose to see if I would respond. I did yesterday, and apologized.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag is allllll I gotta say !!! I haven't been on, haven't had the time, but whew, here we go ONCE AGAIN !!!!

So I'm confused WHERE did JOMO say she didn't LIKE your story ??? I think I missed that somewhere. I love the story so far, patois and everything and I do seem to skim over the patois parts and I think I miss what's truly being said and then I have to go back and re-read....but sitting waiting for soccer practice 3 nights a week, gives me that time. "I" don't personally speak it at all, but fully understand it being around patois for over 10 yrs!

The other comments about JOMO telling her husband this and that ..."runnin" him, ya know.... just ridiculous !!! I too, "run" my husband -if that's what you want to call it !!! He's been here for 17 months now and STILL acts like an immature child!! We've been through ALOT in our relationship and I have given him ALL the help, guidance, support, lessons to learn, tools, etc etc etc. I have been more than patient in this so called marriage. MY HUSBAND CHANGED when he came here. HE has chosen to be "stuck" in his Jamaican past with violence, rudeness, disrespect and HE has NOT once grown from the experience that he has had here.

It has been said, over and over and over again in this yardie thread.....that there are only a FEW relationships that are "still in tact" and that are truly happy, healthy, prosperous and whatever other positive words you want to use. "MY" relationship SUCKS and I DO want out and I DO want him to leave!! He KNOWS that, we've talked about it till the cows come home. He makes alllllllllllll kinds of promises to be a better man, take care of his responsibilities, be a better husband and stepfather, ladidada..... but I NEVER see that, ever !!!! "I" canNOT kick the LOSER out of my house, but he also will NOT leave on his own !!!! He tries his best to make MY life a living he&&, but I will NOT allow him to do that. "I" AM a strong woman!! My son and I are both STRONG individuals that have a very tight relationship. My son and I talk about what's acceptable and not acceptable all the time. My son asked Craig over the weekend -AGAIN- WHY has he changed so much and that he liked the guy that he knew in Jamaica and when he first came here..... Craig's response is, your mother has changed too!!! But Craig does NOT GET the reason that "I" have changed towards him and OUR marriage is that "I" caught him having a relationship with another farrin woman....went on for 9 months that "I" know about. Anyone that has read my posts in previous yardie threads knows this. I told him to GO and be with her if that is who he truly wanted to be with. "I" have caught him numerous times giving women his cell phone number (and vice/versa). He does NOT help with bills and responsibilities around the home. He has NOT once stepped up to be a supportive and positive role model to my child. We have talked and communicated our feelings, emotions, etc etc .... it works for a day and then WHAM back to being an A-hole the next !!!!

I admire ANYones relationship that works....I truly envy those that are in JA/American relationships that work !!! but they are far and few between that "I" know of !!!!

I also know that "I" will (me and my son) be absolutely fine. I do not need a man to make me feel good about myself. Craig is the one with serious and I mean serious -especially- anger issues !!!

Not everyone. Written Patois gives me a headache. Can't bother with it.

Wow, you really did say it out loud.......and fast. What do you type 200 wpms?

I'm just going to say to this that Kelly's relationship with Craig is completely different then mine with Andre. I thank God every day that we do not have a single one of the issues she mentions.

That being said, what she describes happens more frequently then even I care to imagine.

I'm so sorry for your worries, Kel.

Shoot girl, no worries at all !!! Like I said....that there are only a FEW relationships that are "still in tact" and that are truly happy, healthy, prosperous and whatever other positive words you want to use

Oh, but I forgot to include that those relationships are for those that HAVE their men here !!!

Even with Craig watching Decision House, Oprah, Dr Phil (he LOVES him) and Divorce Court........and he does this ALL on his own, you would THINK that would be some type of theraputic counseling for him.........NOPE !!!! He supposed to go to his anger managment (New Behaviors) class tonight --that starts tonight (for 22 wks), he said last night.... he'll go if he wants to NOone is making him go and I said.... well, than you'll just have to live with who you are .....and as Dr Phil says..........HOWZE THAT WORKING FOR YOU ???!!!!

[jawi876 2]

Umm, not sure what happened here. A few "rude statements" were made. then everyone appoligized and then words started being thrown at "Jomo's girl" or mainly at her??? and then other people who wanted to say something about "Jomo's girl" posts in the past, felt it was fine to jump on the bandwagon. Did Jomo's girl say not to talk patios in the thread? I don't see that post, maybe I didn't go back far enough to read where she made that comment. Oh and of course can't forget bad gyal nuh back down from nuttin.

carry on ladies

It's okay, Jengles. But, thanks for the sentiment.

All I said was READING Patois gives me a headache. Anyone who inferred that I said DON'T talk Patois on any of these threads did that all on their own. And, those of you who implied I don't know my man's culture or where he comes from or even that there is some agreement that we dont' speak Patois in our home, also did that all on your own. Sweeping generalizations over and over again.

Nobody said any version of this in English or patois. You have told me that you understand it and can speak it, you just don't like to read it. I don't have a problem with you not reading it, which is why I started my OWN thread. You were being nasty when you said you couldn't be bothered with my story because of it, but you are in there every day. That is what most people took offense to, and that is what made me post the way I did. Some people are tired of being told that they shouldn't post in patois, and the jokes began. Again, the jokes and suss are part of the Jamaican and African American culture. You can love each other to death, but you will slew each other with the words and jokes.

Jengles what I meant about toe-to-toe on written words was just that, not a literally coming to blows. If someone wants to be snide and rude, and I can go there too. I was tired of saying it's okay Jomo, no hard feelings taken. It seems that she would post a comment to me, and then apologize if it came off rude or harsh. I wonder if she was doing it on purpose to see if I would respond. I did yesterday, and apologized.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag is allllll I gotta say !!! I haven't been on, haven't had the time, but whew, here we go ONCE AGAIN !!!!

So I'm confused WHERE did JOMO say she didn't LIKE your story ??? I think I missed that somewhere. I love the story so far, patois and everything and I do seem to skim over the patois parts and I think I miss what's truly being said and then I have to go back and re-read....but sitting waiting for soccer practice 3 nights a week, gives me that time. "I" don't personally speak it at all, but fully understand it being around patois for over 10 yrs!

The other comments about JOMO telling her husband this and that ..."runnin" him, ya know.... just ridiculous !!! I too, "run" my husband -if that's what you want to call it !!! He's been here for 17 months now and STILL acts like an immature child!! We've been through ALOT in our relationship and I have given him ALL the help, guidance, support, lessons to learn, tools, etc etc etc. I have been more than patient in this so called marriage. MY HUSBAND CHANGED when he came here. HE has chosen to be "stuck" in his Jamaican past with violence, rudeness, disrespect and HE has NOT once grown from the experience that he has had here.

It has been said, over and over and over again in this yardie thread.....that there are only a FEW relationships that are "still in tact" and that are truly happy, healthy, prosperous and whatever other positive words you want to use. "MY" relationship SUCKS and I DO want out and I DO want him to leave!! He KNOWS that, we've talked about it till the cows come home. He makes alllllllllllll kinds of promises to be a better man, take care of his responsibilities, be a better husband and stepfather, ladidada..... but I NEVER see that, ever !!!! "I" canNOT kick the LOSER out of my house, but he also will NOT leave on his own !!!! He tries his best to make MY life a living he&&, but I will NOT allow him to do that. "I" AM a strong woman!! My son and I are both STRONG individuals that have a very tight relationship. My son and I talk about what's acceptable and not acceptable all the time. My son asked Craig over the weekend -AGAIN- WHY has he changed so much and that he liked the guy that he knew in Jamaica and when he first came here..... Craig's response is, your mother has changed too!!! But Craig does NOT GET the reason that "I" have changed towards him and OUR marriage is that "I" caught him having a relationship with another farrin woman....went on for 9 months that "I" know about. Anyone that has read my posts in previous yardie threads knows this. I told him to GO and be with her if that is who he truly wanted to be with. "I" have caught him numerous times giving women his cell phone number (and vice/versa). He does NOT help with bills and responsibilities around the home. He has NOT once stepped up to be a supportive and positive role model to my child. We have talked and communicated our feelings, emotions, etc etc .... it works for a day and then WHAM back to being an A-hole the next !!!!

I admire ANYones relationship that works....I truly envy those that are in JA/American relationships that work !!! but they are far and few between that "I" know of !!!!

I also know that "I" will (me and my son) be absolutely fine. I do not need a man to make me feel good about myself. Craig is the one with serious and I mean serious -especially- anger issues !!!

Not everyone. Written Patois gives me a headache. Can't bother with it.

Wow! I'm sorry you are going through this. I didn't know your history with Craig. IMHO, you are not "running" your husband. You are simply surviving day to day. He is techincally calling the shots because you are miserable with him there and he won't leave. You do have options to get out of the situation. You can request a legal separation, and get a restraining order because you owned your home before he got here. I had a friend that went through this VERY same thing, minus the other woman. He lost his mother, and went insane literally. He had her a prisoner in her own home, telling her that she and Babylon had taken his mother and they were hiding her. You have to file for the legal separation first. Then wait until he leaves the home to have a police serve him with the restraining order when he comes back home. The police will stay and enforce the order, and you can later arrange for him to retrieve his things from the courts or the police station. You cannot let him know any of this is happening though because he may opt to NEVER go out even to the store.

Maybe Craig didn't "change" at all, he just stopped pretending.

Jomo's situation and comments are totally different from yours. Her comments weren't because of her being mistreated, which is why I wondered why she seemed to not care about him. Jomo assured me that that was not the case at all. They are in fact BOTH very much in love.

Your situation is horrible, and I hate that anybody has to ever go through stuff like this. You have to be the woman and man in your marriage because he doesn't want the role.

I took her comment about she couldn't be bothered as she couldn't be bothered with the story. She explained that was not what she meant, and I we have squashed it as a misunderstanding. Jomo and I are not bitter enemies, and we are not warring. We are fine, truly.

[clairern 0]

Mi see de peeps pon de MENA thread chat in Islamic/Hebrew ar whatever de dialect called. Nuff respect cuz dem hembrace de whole ting, lock, stock and barrel.

I wish there was books and CD's to learn Patois. I'd do it in a second. Tony won't teach me He only speaks proper Enlgish 99% of the time. Once in a while if I'm lucky, a few words come out in Patois. How am I ever going to learn it? I want to understand and speak it. When I go to JA, I feel left out when they speak so fast I can't keep up. Help!

Ask Jawi how she learned it.

[jawi876 2]

Mi see de peeps pon de MENA thread chat in Islamic/Hebrew ar whatever de dialect called. Nuff respect cuz dem hembrace de whole ting, lock, stock and barrel.

I wish there was books and CD's to learn Patois. I'd do it in a second. Tony won't teach me He only speaks proper Enlgish 99% of the time. Once in a while if I'm lucky, a few words come out in Patois. How am I ever going to learn it? I want to understand and speak it. When I go to JA, I feel left out when they speak so fast I can't keep up. Help!

My ex wouldn't teach me either, although that's all he would speak at home. I learned by taking my time reading and sounding it out aloud. It took me forever, and I could never keep up with all the posts, but I got it. I'm still not confident enough to speak it, unless I'm upset.

[*JG* 2]

Have you ever tried something like Jawi is saying, Kel?

I concur with what Jawi just said......We're cool.

Mi see de peeps pon de MENA thread chat in Islamic/Hebrew ar whatever de dialect called. Nuff respect cuz dem hembrace de whole ting, lock, stock and barrel.

I wish there was books and CD's to learn Patois. I'd do it in a second. Tony won't teach me He only speaks proper Enlgish 99% of the time. Once in a while if I'm lucky, a few words come out in Patois. How am I ever going to learn it? I want to understand and speak it. When I go to JA, I feel left out when they speak so fast I can't keep up. Help!

My ex wouldn't teach me either, although that's all he would speak at home. I learned by taking my time reading and sounding it out aloud. It took me forever, and I could never keep up with all the posts, but I got it. I'm still not confident enough to speak it, unless I'm upset.

Now, see......this I find ironic. I'm very confident speaking it. Reading it really does give me a headache.

How funny is that?

I wonder if we polled something like 100 people, how do you think it would turn out?

[jawi876 2]

Have you ever tried something like Jawi is saying, Kel?

I concur with what Jawi just said......We're cool.

Mi see de peeps pon de MENA thread chat in Islamic/Hebrew ar whatever de dialect called. Nuff respect cuz dem hembrace de whole ting, lock, stock and barrel.

I wish there was books and CD's to learn Patois. I'd do it in a second. Tony won't teach me He only speaks proper Enlgish 99% of the time. Once in a while if I'm lucky, a few words come out in Patois. How am I ever going to learn it? I want to understand and speak it. When I go to JA, I feel left out when they speak so fast I can't keep up. Help!

My ex wouldn't teach me either, although that's all he would speak at home. I learned by taking my time reading and sounding it out aloud. It took me forever, and I could never keep up with all the posts, but I got it. I'm still not confident enough to speak it, unless I'm upset.

Now, see......this I find ironic. I'm very confident speaking it. Reading it really does give me a headache.

How funny is that?

I wonder if we polled something like 100 people, how do you think it would turn out?

With most people saying they detest reading it. It's the way I learned it, so it works for me. I wasn't trying to offend anyone, which is why I posted the story in a separate thread AND I didn't come here recruiting people to read it.

[luvtravlin 0]

Umm, not sure what happened here. A few "rude statements" were made. then everyone appoligized and then words started being thrown at "Jomo's girl" or mainly at her??? and then other people who wanted to say something about "Jomo's girl" posts in the past, felt it was fine to jump on the bandwagon. Did Jomo's girl say not to talk patios in the thread? I don't see that post, maybe I didn't go back far enough to read where she made that comment. Oh and of course can't forget bad gyal nuh back down from nuttin.

carry on ladies

It's okay, Jengles. But, thanks for the sentiment.

All I said was READING Patois gives me a headache. Anyone who inferred that I said DON'T talk Patois on any of these threads did that all on their own. And, those of you who implied I don't know my man's culture or where he comes from or even that there is some agreement that we dont' speak Patois in our home, also did that all on your own. Sweeping generalizations over and over again.

Nobody said any version of this in English or patois. You have told me that you understand it and can speak it, you just don't like to read it. I don't have a problem with you not reading it, which is why I started my OWN thread. You were being nasty when you said you couldn't be bothered with my story because of it, but you are in there every day. That is what most people took offense to, and that is what made me post the way I did. Some people are tired of being told that they shouldn't post in patois, and the jokes began. Again, the jokes and suss are part of the Jamaican and African American culture. You can love each other to death, but you will slew each other with the words and jokes.

Jengles what I meant about toe-to-toe on written words was just that, not a literally coming to blows. If someone wants to be snide and rude, and I can go there too. I was tired of saying it's okay Jomo, no hard feelings taken. It seems that she would post a comment to me, and then apologize if it came off rude or harsh. I wonder if she was doing it on purpose to see if I would respond. I did yesterday, and apologized.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag is allllll I gotta say !!! I haven't been on, haven't had the time, but whew, here we go ONCE AGAIN !!!!

So I'm confused WHERE did JOMO say she didn't LIKE your story ??? I think I missed that somewhere. I love the story so far, patois and everything and I do seem to skim over the patois parts and I think I miss what's truly being said and then I have to go back and re-read....but sitting waiting for soccer practice 3 nights a week, gives me that time. "I" don't personally speak it at all, but fully understand it being around patois for over 10 yrs!

The other comments about JOMO telling her husband this and that ..."runnin" him, ya know.... just ridiculous !!! I too, "run" my husband -if that's what you want to call it !!! He's been here for 17 months now and STILL acts like an immature child!! We've been through ALOT in our relationship and I have given him ALL the help, guidance, support, lessons to learn, tools, etc etc etc. I have been more than patient in this so called marriage. MY HUSBAND CHANGED when he came here. HE has chosen to be "stuck" in his Jamaican past with violence, rudeness, disrespect and HE has NOT once grown from the experience that he has had here.

It has been said, over and over and over again in this yardie thread.....that there are only a FEW relationships that are "still in tact" and that are truly happy, healthy, prosperous and whatever other positive words you want to use. "MY" relationship SUCKS and I DO want out and I DO want him to leave!! He KNOWS that, we've talked about it till the cows come home. He makes alllllllllllll kinds of promises to be a better man, take care of his responsibilities, be a better husband and stepfather, ladidada..... but I NEVER see that, ever !!!! "I" canNOT kick the LOSER out of my house, but he also will NOT leave on his own !!!! He tries his best to make MY life a living he&&, but I will NOT allow him to do that. "I" AM a strong woman!! My son and I are both STRONG individuals that have a very tight relationship. My son and I talk about what's acceptable and not acceptable all the time. My son asked Craig over the weekend -AGAIN- WHY has he changed so much and that he liked the guy that he knew in Jamaica and when he first came here..... Craig's response is, your mother has changed too!!! But Craig does NOT GET the reason that "I" have changed towards him and OUR marriage is that "I" caught him having a relationship with another farrin woman....went on for 9 months that "I" know about. Anyone that has read my posts in previous yardie threads knows this. I told him to GO and be with her if that is who he truly wanted to be with. "I" have caught him numerous times giving women his cell phone number (and vice/versa). He does NOT help with bills and responsibilities around the home. He has NOT once stepped up to be a supportive and positive role model to my child. We have talked and communicated our feelings, emotions, etc etc .... it works for a day and then WHAM back to being an A-hole the next !!!!

I admire ANYones relationship that works....I truly envy those that are in JA/American relationships that work !!! but they are far and few between that "I" know of !!!!

I also know that "I" will (me and my son) be absolutely fine. I do not need a man to make me feel good about myself. Craig is the one with serious and I mean serious -especially- anger issues !!!

Not everyone. Written Patois gives me a headache. Can't bother with it.

Wow! I'm sorry you are going through this. I didn't know your history with Craig. IMHO, you are not "running" your husband. You are simply surviving day to day. He is techincally calling the shots because you are miserable with him there and he won't leave. You do have options to get out of the situation. You can request a legal separation, and get a restraining order because you owned your home before he got here. I had a friend that went through this VERY same thing, minus the other woman. He lost his mother, and went insane literally. He had her a prisoner in her own home, telling her that she and Babylon had taken his mother and they were hiding her. You have to file for the legal separation first. Then wait until he leaves the home to have a police serve him with the restraining order when he comes back home. The police will stay and enforce the order, and you can later arrange for him to retrieve his things from the courts or the police station. You cannot let him know any of this is happening though because he may opt to NEVER go out even to the store.

Maybe Craig didn't "change" at all, he just stopped pretending.

Jomo's situation and comments are totally different from yours. Her comments weren't because of her being mistreated, which is why I wondered why she seemed to not care about him. Jomo assured me that that was not the case at all. They are in fact BOTH very much in love.

Your situation is horrible, and I hate that anybody has to ever go through stuff like this. You have to be the woman and man in your marriage because he doesn't want the role.

I took her comment about she couldn't be bothered as she couldn't be bothered with the story. She explained that was not what she meant, and I we have squashed it as a misunderstanding. Jomo and I are not bitter enemies, and we are not warring. We are fine, truly.

I'm sorry to...but trust me, I'll be okay. I thank god EVERYday that I have my friends that I met with on VJ that support me and are there for me everyday....and you know who you guys are !!!!! If not, than I would have jumped off the nearest bridge long ago !!

Unfortunately, "I" don't have many options at this point.... I can't get a separation because he LIVES here. In Maryland you have to be legally separated for a yr before you can file for divorce. Hence, I can't MAKE him leave.

Number 2, in regards to a protection order, I haven't looked into the filing a separation 1st....but I do know that I have to show proof that he's been abusive, or whatever else.... we've been there done that, bought the T-shirt (2 1/2 months ag)....he CHANGED (for the better) for a month and now back to square one. I told him last night (in one of his rages) IF he were to even TRY to even get physical again, remember that "I" was REEEEEAL nice the 1st time !!!! and there are absolutely NO 2nd chances !!!

Also, since I've been supporting all of us financially from day one (although he's been working nonstop since July of LAST year) "I" don't have ANY extra money to pay for him to leave, nor do I feel "I" need to pay for him to leave. He throws that "you are responsible for me" in my face (his cousin tells him that) and I tell him.........um, ya betta watch what you say with that because "I" could soooo show proof that this was fraud, so you may want to think of something else !!!

He threatens ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of the time that he is going to leave, but he needs money. I do NOT UNDERSTAND why he just won't go and stay with that good ole family in Philly !!! His brother knows everything and how he's been treating me, etc etc and I told him that he NEEDS to get out of here. Not quite sure they take me seriously.

I say to him all the time, wow you REALLY put up quite an act for being such a wonderful person BEFORE you got here.......seriously, have you ever really and truly thought about an acting career ?? He says, I wasn't acting.... yeah, okay !!!

He's immature, plain and simple..... he'll grow up someday, but "I" won't be around to see that happen. I said that "I" am training him to be a better person for the next one !!

[*JG* 2]

Have you ever tried something like Jawi is saying, Kel?

I concur with what Jawi just said......We're cool.

Mi see de peeps pon de MENA thread chat in Islamic/Hebrew ar whatever de dialect called. Nuff respect cuz dem hembrace de whole ting, lock, stock and barrel.

I wish there was books and CD's to learn Patois. I'd do it in a second. Tony won't teach me He only speaks proper Enlgish 99% of the time. Once in a while if I'm lucky, a few words come out in Patois. How am I ever going to learn it? I want to understand and speak it. When I go to JA, I feel left out when they speak so fast I can't keep up. Help!

My ex wouldn't teach me either, although that's all he would speak at home. I learned by taking my time reading and sounding it out aloud. It took me forever, and I could never keep up with all the posts, but I got it. I'm still not confident enough to speak it, unless I'm upset.

Now, see......this I find ironic. I'm very confident speaking it. Reading it really does give me a headache.

How funny is that?

I wonder if we polled something like 100 people, how do you think it would turn out?

With most people saying they detest reading it. It's the way I learned it, so it works for me. I wasn't trying to offend anyone, which is why I posted the story in a separate thread AND I didn't come here recruiting people to read it.

OK, now you got me thinking. How often is Patois written? Besides people on web sites or letters or that kind of thing. I mean like published things like books or magazines, in school, whatever you can think of.

Off the cuff, I'm thinking sometimes I read it in quotes in the Gleaner or Observer. Otherwise, English.

Song lyrics, of course.

I've read "Caribbean" by James Michener. So, I suppose books with a Jamaican touch of some sort in them.

What else?

[rhondapayter 0]

....I am hoping to get some of the VJ water, haffi get a likkle bway inna di mix.

Drink up woman! You can join our little Preggo club!

[rhondapayter 0]

Dont go a Jamaica or marry a Jamaican if yuh cyaan tek patwa or di cold wata or di outside toilet. Jamaica mi bawn and America mi grow but trust dat mi nah loose mi roots and it a di reason why me stay so now.

I can handle the Patois, but I'll skip the outside toilet! I had enough fun with those when I used to go camping in girl scouts years ago! Tony is so spoiled now - last time he went to JA he stayed with his cousin for a week - he was crying about the cold water showers and having no a/c!

[jawi876 2]

Have you ever tried something like Jawi is saying, Kel?

I concur with what Jawi just said......We're cool.

Mi see de peeps pon de MENA thread chat in Islamic/Hebrew ar whatever de dialect called. Nuff respect cuz dem hembrace de whole ting, lock, stock and barrel.

I wish there was books and CD's to learn Patois. I'd do it in a second. Tony won't teach me He only speaks proper Enlgish 99% of the time. Once in a while if I'm lucky, a few words come out in Patois. How am I ever going to learn it? I want to understand and speak it. When I go to JA, I feel left out when they speak so fast I can't keep up. Help!

My ex wouldn't teach me either, although that's all he would speak at home. I learned by taking my time reading and sounding it out aloud. It took me forever, and I could never keep up with all the posts, but I got it. I'm still not confident enough to speak it, unless I'm upset.

Now, see......this I find ironic. I'm very confident speaking it. Reading it really does give me a headache.

How funny is that?

I wonder if we polled something like 100 people, how do you think it would turn out?

With most people saying they detest reading it. It's the way I learned it, so it works for me. I wasn't trying to offend anyone, which is why I posted the story in a separate thread AND I didn't come here recruiting people to read it.

OK, now you got me thinking. How often is Patois written? Besides people on web sites or letters or that kind of thing. I mean like published things like books or magazines, in school, whatever you can think of.

Off the cuff, I'm thinking sometimes I read it in quotes in the Gleaner or Observer. Otherwise, English.

Song lyrics, of course.

I've read "Caribbean" by James Michener. So, I suppose books with a Jamaican touch of some sort in them.

What else?

Sorry, can't answer that one. Not my area of expertise. I'm sure there are some published things out there. However, when writing about Jamaican culture, or someone chatting in patois, it's hard to leave it out simply because it is written format. Do you think the written format is less credible than the oral format? Why or why not?

[luvtravlin 0]

Umm, not sure what happened here. A few "rude statements" were made. then everyone appoligized and then words started being thrown at "Jomo's girl" or mainly at her??? and then other people who wanted to say something about "Jomo's girl" posts in the past, felt it was fine to jump on the bandwagon. Did Jomo's girl say not to talk patios in the thread? I don't see that post, maybe I didn't go back far enough to read where she made that comment. Oh and of course can't forget bad gyal nuh back down from nuttin.

carry on ladies

It's okay, Jengles. But, thanks for the sentiment.

All I said was READING Patois gives me a headache. Anyone who inferred that I said DON'T talk Patois on any of these threads did that all on their own. And, those of you who implied I don't know my man's culture or where he comes from or even that there is some agreement that we dont' speak Patois in our home, also did that all on your own. Sweeping generalizations over and over again.

Nobody said any version of this in English or patois. You have told me that you understand it and can speak it, you just don't like to read it. I don't have a problem with you not reading it, which is why I started my OWN thread. You were being nasty when you said you couldn't be bothered with my story because of it, but you are in there every day. That is what most people took offense to, and that is what made me post the way I did. Some people are tired of being told that they shouldn't post in patois, and the jokes began. Again, the jokes and suss are part of the Jamaican and African American culture. You can love each other to death, but you will slew each other with the words and jokes.

Jengles what I meant about toe-to-toe on written words was just that, not a literally coming to blows. If someone wants to be snide and rude, and I can go there too. I was tired of saying it's okay Jomo, no hard feelings taken. It seems that she would post a comment to me, and then apologize if it came off rude or harsh. I wonder if she was doing it on purpose to see if I would respond. I did yesterday, and apologized.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag is allllll I gotta say !!! I haven't been on, haven't had the time, but whew, here we go ONCE AGAIN !!!!

So I'm confused WHERE did JOMO say she didn't LIKE your story ??? I think I missed that somewhere. I love the story so far, patois and everything and I do seem to skim over the patois parts and I think I miss what's truly being said and then I have to go back and re-read....but sitting waiting for soccer practice 3 nights a week, gives me that time. "I" don't personally speak it at all, but fully understand it being around patois for over 10 yrs!

The other comments about JOMO telling her husband this and that ..."runnin" him, ya know.... just ridiculous !!! I too, "run" my husband -if that's what you want to call it !!! He's been here for 17 months now and STILL acts like an immature child!! We've been through ALOT in our relationship and I have given him ALL the help, guidance, support, lessons to learn, tools, etc etc etc. I have been more than patient in this so called marriage. MY HUSBAND CHANGED when he came here. HE has chosen to be "stuck" in his Jamaican past with violence, rudeness, disrespect and HE has NOT once grown from the experience that he has had here.

It has been said, over and over and over again in this yardie thread.....that there are only a FEW relationships that are "still in tact" and that are truly happy, healthy, prosperous and whatever other positive words you want to use. "MY" relationship SUCKS and I DO want out and I DO want him to leave!! He KNOWS that, we've talked about it till the cows come home. He makes alllllllllllll kinds of promises to be a better man, take care of his responsibilities, be a better husband and stepfather, ladidada..... but I NEVER see that, ever !!!! "I" canNOT kick the LOSER out of my house, but he also will NOT leave on his own !!!! He tries his best to make MY life a living he&&, but I will NOT allow him to do that. "I" AM a strong woman!! My son and I are both STRONG individuals that have a very tight relationship. My son and I talk about what's acceptable and not acceptable all the time. My son asked Craig over the weekend -AGAIN- WHY has he changed so much and that he liked the guy that he knew in Jamaica and when he first came here..... Craig's response is, your mother has changed too!!! But Craig does NOT GET the reason that "I" have changed towards him and OUR marriage is that "I" caught him having a relationship with another farrin woman....went on for 9 months that "I" know about. Anyone that has read my posts in previous yardie threads knows this. I told him to GO and be with her if that is who he truly wanted to be with. "I" have caught him numerous times giving women his cell phone number (and vice/versa). He does NOT help with bills and responsibilities around the home. He has NOT once stepped up to be a supportive and positive role model to my child. We have talked and communicated our feelings, emotions, etc etc .... it works for a day and then WHAM back to being an A-hole the next !!!!

I admire ANYones relationship that works....I truly envy those that are in JA/American relationships that work !!! but they are far and few between that "I" know of !!!!

I also know that "I" will (me and my son) be absolutely fine. I do not need a man to make me feel good about myself. Craig is the one with serious and I mean serious -especially- anger issues !!!

Not everyone. Written Patois gives me a headache. Can't bother with it.

Wow! I'm sorry you are going through this. I didn't know your history with Craig. IMHO, you are not "running" your husband. You are simply surviving day to day. He is techincally calling the shots because you are miserable with him there and he won't leave. You do have options to get out of the situation. You can request a legal separation, and get a restraining order because you owned your home before he got here. I had a friend that went through this VERY same thing, minus the other woman. He lost his mother, and went insane literally. He had her a prisoner in her own home, telling her that she and Babylon had taken his mother and they were hiding her. You have to file for the legal separation first. Then wait until he leaves the home to have a police serve him with the restraining order when he comes back home. The police will stay and enforce the order, and you can later arrange for him to retrieve his things from the courts or the police station. You cannot let him know any of this is happening though because he may opt to NEVER go out even to the store.

Maybe Craig didn't "change" at all, he just stopped pretending.

Jomo's situation and comments are totally different from yours. Her comments weren't because of her being mistreated, which is why I wondered why she seemed to not care about him. Jomo assured me that that was not the case at all. They are in fact BOTH very much in love.

Your situation is horrible, and I hate that anybody has to ever go through stuff like this. You have to be the woman and man in your marriage because he doesn't want the role.

I took her comment about she couldn't be bothered as she couldn't be bothered with the story. She explained that was not what she meant, and I we have squashed it as a misunderstanding. Jomo and I are not bitter enemies, and we are not warring. We are fine, truly.

Oh I forgot to add. I don't own my own home, we live in an apartment, that I've lived in for over 10yrs. With VERY VERY nosey neighbors !!!

[*JG* 2]

Have you ever tried something like Jawi is saying, Kel?

I concur with what Jawi just said......We're cool.

Mi see de peeps pon de MENA thread chat in Islamic/Hebrew ar whatever de dialect called. Nuff respect cuz dem hembrace de whole ting, lock, stock and barrel.

I wish there was books and CD's to learn Patois. I'd do it in a second. Tony won't teach me He only speaks proper Enlgish 99% of the time. Once in a while if I'm lucky, a few words come out in Patois. How am I ever going to learn it? I want to understand and speak it. When I go to JA, I feel left out when they speak so fast I can't keep up. Help!

My ex wouldn't teach me either, although that's all he would speak at home. I learned by taking my time reading and sounding it out aloud. It took me forever, and I could never keep up with all the posts, but I got it. I'm still not confident enough to speak it, unless I'm upset.

Now, see......this I find ironic. I'm very confident speaking it. Reading it really does give me a headache.

How funny is that?

I wonder if we polled something like 100 people, how do you think it would turn out?

With most people saying they detest reading it. It's the way I learned it, so it works for me. I wasn't trying to offend anyone, which is why I posted the story in a separate thread AND I didn't come here recruiting people to read it.

OK, now you got me thinking. How often is Patois written? Besides people on web sites or letters or that kind of thing. I mean like published things like books or magazines, in school, whatever you can think of.

Off the cuff, I'm thinking sometimes I read it in quotes in the Gleaner or Observer. Otherwise, English.

Song lyrics, of course.

I've read "Caribbean" by James Michener. So, I suppose books with a Jamaican touch of some sort in them.

What else?

Sorry, can't answer that one. Not my area of expertise. I'm sure there are some published things out there. However, when writing about Jamaican culture, or someone chatting in patois, it's hard to leave it out simply because it is written format. Do you think the written format is less credible than the oral format? Why or why not?

Well, what about school? Is it taught in school?

Let me rephrase again............how many different ways have you seen Patois written? I mentioned some above. Are there more? You've got me curious now.

As far as credible, I'm not sure on that one. I do know I understand it so much better in the spoken form. Probably some learning defect in me that way.

[rhondapayter 0]

Those who say they will support his family and friends know nothing about what they in for. Most of those people who say things don't even have their men here or he just got here and they are all in that honeymoon phase, so they have no clue how it is all going to play out. It's easy to say things when you haven't experienced them yet.

Yes, so true.