Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[Dwarf_Ogress 0]

Not everyone. Written Patois gives me a headache. Can't bother with it.

I know thats right. I was too far behind to catch up so I left it alone.

I respect that as well. I truly do. (What I am about to say is not directed at you Shonnie, but I'm going to say my peace.)

However, being rude is not necessary. I responded the way I did because the rudeness upset me. It upset some other people here too. If you look at this thread, I didn't come here ONE time and ask ANYBODY to come and read it either.The success of my post doesn't require everyone to approve or like it. Jomo tries to be cute, and then keeps telling me that she was not trying to come off rude and if I took her comments that way she is sorry. I have never taken her comments any way until she kept telling me not to.

I started the post saying it was a purely fictional story and my first attempt at writing a story. She comes in shortly after talking about it was believable until I got to the nice customs agent. There was no patois in the story at that point. I shrugged the comment off, although I got several PMs about why she was being rude. Again, she and everyone else is entitled to their opinion. Mi nuh beg nuh friend.

There are enough people reading and posting in the thread that are not with JAMAICANS, and they are even mouthing the words to follow the story. If you don't like it, no problem. Feel free to stay away like you have thus far. The post will die a slow death and fizzle out in due time anyway.

What I don't get is some of the women claiming to be in love with their Jamaican husbands, but they hate his family, his friends, his mother, his country and everything that made him the man he is now. I have remained quiet about it...but some of oonu oomen nuh knoa yuhself! Yuh need fe tek wey yuhself and nuh place all de blame pon im when de marriage nuh work.

Jomo nuh de ONGLY RUDE GYAL PON DIS BC WEBSITE! Mi nuh stawt war...but mi nuh run frum ie eidda. De best ting fe mi fe do ie tuh low dis before mi sey someting fe ban mi.

I think I will start a PATOIS ONLY thread too. Feel free to stay out of that one too...yuhseemi?

Well, since Jawi wants to share so much with you all today, I'm in......

Perhaps those of you who view my comments as negative would be happier if he wasn't such a nice guy and we didn't have such a great relationship. I showed my husband what you said and he sucked teeth. He said some women are not happy and view a man like that if he isn't a playa, beating his wife, lying to her, and running around on her. I've had others saying that to me too. So, maybe they are right. I guess he can't be a real man until I am cowering in the corner as he runs out the door to find a baby mama.

He is a "man" in our relationship, just not "THE" Man. Such an antiquated sentiment. Neither of us controls the other nor the relationship and it works. If someone needs one or the other to control the relationship, then so be it. It's just not for us. We butt heads sometimes and we talk it through. Sometimes one of us wins, mostly we compromise.

If you knew his story, his family, and his friends, or seen what I have seen in his Jamaica, perhaps you would say the same things. I play off of what he thinks and feels and what I have personally experienced. Those who say they will support his family and friends know nothing about what they in for. Most of those people who say things don't even have their men here or he just got here and they are all in that honeymoon phase, so they have no clue how it is all going to play out. It's easy to say things when you haven't experienced them yet. As far as Jamaica goes, I love Jamaica. I think it is beautiful and I have fond memories of all over Jamaica. I miss many people there. I have been there 16 times, staying almost always in his yard or with other friends and family in their yard. It's not like I haven't seen things. I've seen beauty and peace and wonderfully fun times. I've also seen violence against men, against women, against defenseless children. I've see racism, sexism, and needless discrimination of Jamicans to other Jamaicans. I've seen sadness and I've seen poverty. I've seen people use other people out of desperation and I've seen it just for sport. I'm sorry if I don't see Jamaica as a paradise. I've seen too much to think that anymore.

It's really just a case of not being able to have an opinion that differs from others on here again. It's an old scratched record that just keeps playing over and over again. Anything even slightly negative and you get bashed all to hell. The thing is, I don't live in some fantasy world where someone else takes care of everything and I just follow along nor where everything is so perfect. I'm a strong proud woman who has opinions. I'll be damned if I will apologize for that. I'll fight for what I believe in till the day I die.

I'm not the only person who feels this way either. Others who believe along these same lines have stopped expressing opinions cause all they do is get bashed. It's a ridiculous concept that deluded people who live in this fantasy world of love, peace, and harmony at ALL times run away anyone else who has an opinion. I hope that when their worlds fall apart, they can find those others to reach out to in the same situation. I have a wonderful support group of friends who KNOW what happens in these LDR's sometimes.....knows ALL of what can happen, not just the lovey dovey stuff....who have experienced some or all of what I am going through, and who give thought provoking insight and advice.

Well said!

[Jengles 0]

Not everyone. Written Patois gives me a headache. Can't bother with it.

I know thats right. I was too far behind to catch up so I left it alone.

I respect that as well. I truly do. (What I am about to say is not directed at you Shonnie, but I'm going to say my peace.)

However, being rude is not necessary. I responded the way I did because the rudeness upset me. It upset some other people here too. If you look at this thread, I didn't come here ONE time and ask ANYBODY to come and read it either.The success of my post doesn't require everyone to approve or like it. Jomo tries to be cute, and then keeps telling me that she was not trying to come off rude and if I took her comments that way she is sorry. I have never taken her comments any way until she kept telling me not to.

I started the post saying it was a purely fictional story and my first attempt at writing a story. She comes in shortly after talking about it was believable until I got to the nice customs agent. There was no patois in the story at that point. I shrugged the comment off, although I got several PMs about why she was being rude. Again, she and everyone else is entitled to their opinion. Mi nuh beg nuh friend.

There are enough people reading and posting in the thread that are not with JAMAICANS, and they are even mouthing the words to follow the story. If you don't like it, no problem. Feel free to stay away like you have thus far. The post will die a slow death and fizzle out in due time anyway.

What I don't get is some of the women claiming to be in love with their Jamaican husbands, but they hate his family, his friends, his mother, his country and everything that made him the man he is now. I have remained quiet about it...but some of oonu oomen nuh knoa yuhself! Yuh need fe tek wey yuhself and nuh place all de blame pon im when de marriage nuh work.

Jomo nuh de ONGLY RUDE GYAL PON DIS BC WEBSITE! Mi nuh stawt war...but mi nuh run frum ie eidda. De best ting fe mi fe do ie tuh low dis before mi sey someting fe ban mi.

I think I will start a PATOIS ONLY thread too. Feel free to stay out of that one too...yuhseemi?

Well, since Jawi wants to share so much with you all today, I'm in......

Perhaps those of you who view my comments as negative would be happier if he wasn't such a nice guy and we didn't have such a great relationship. I showed my husband what you said and he sucked teeth. He said some women are not happy and view a man like that if he isn't a playa, beating his wife, lying to her, and running around on her. I've had others saying that to me too. So, maybe they are right. I guess he can't be a real man until I am cowering in the corner as he runs out the door to find a baby mama.

He is a "man" in our relationship, just not "THE" Man. Such an antiquated sentiment. Neither of us controls the other nor the relationship and it works. If someone needs one or the other to control the relationship, then so be it. It's just not for us. We butt heads sometimes and we talk it through. Sometimes one of us wins, mostly we compromise.

If you knew his story, his family, and his friends, or seen what I have seen in his Jamaica, perhaps you would say the same things. I play off of what he thinks and feels and what I have personally experienced. Those who say they will support his family and friends know nothing about what they in for. Most of those people who say things don't even have their men here or he just got here and they are all in that honeymoon phase, so they have no clue how it is all going to play out. It's easy to say things when you haven't experienced them yet. As far as Jamaica goes, I love Jamaica. I think it is beautiful and I have fond memories of all over Jamaica. I miss many people there. I have been there 16 times, staying almost always in his yard or with other friends and family in their yard. It's not like I haven't seen things. I've seen beauty and peace and wonderfully fun times. I've also seen violence against men, against women, against defenseless children. I've see racism, sexism, and needless discrimination of Jamicans to other Jamaicans. I've seen sadness and I've seen poverty. I've seen people use other people out of desperation and I've seen it just for sport. I'm sorry if I don't see Jamaica as a paradise. I've seen too much to think that anymore.

It's really just a case of not being able to have an opinion that differs from others on here again. It's an old scratched record that just keeps playing over and over again. Anything even slightly negative and you get bashed all to hell. The thing is, I don't live in some fantasy world where someone else takes care of everything and I just follow along nor where everything is so perfect. I'm a strong proud woman who has opinions. I'll be damned if I will apologize for that. I'll fight for what I believe in till the day I die.

I'm not the only person who feels this way either. Others who believe along these same lines have stopped expressing opinions cause all they do is get bashed. It's a ridiculous concept that deluded people who live in this fantasy world of love, peace, and harmony at ALL times run away anyone else who has an opinion. I hope that when their worlds fall apart, they can find those others to reach out to in the same situation. I have a wonderful support group of friends who KNOW what happens in these LDR's sometimes.....knows ALL of what can happen, not just the lovey dovey stuff....who have experienced some or all of what I am going through, and who give thought provoking insight and advice.

Jomo, I gotta say, I think your post sounds like you missed the point COMPLETELY! No one knows about your husband and mentioned him not being a man. Everyone knows how crazy Jamaica can be. And whether or not our husbands are here or not means absolutely nothing to the matter in which we handle our relationships. The main issue is entirely different. I care not to re-explain....but you may want to re read and stew on it all a bit.

What I don't get is some of the women claiming to be in love with their Jamaican husbands, but they hate his family, his friends, his mother, his country and everything that made him the man he is now. I have remained quiet about it...but some of oonu oomen nuh knoa yuhself! Yuh need fe tek wey yuhself and nuh place all de blame pon im when de marriage nuh work.

Nahsayers have been saying some tired version of this for almost 4 years now. 'Nuff said.

Maybe cause its true! A new wave of "newbies" don't come into the yardie thread and see the same ####### for no reason.

wait!!!! her marriage isn't working??? Ok i think I drank too much tea for the morning..I'll try and be quiet from now on

[Jonesie 1]

Those who say they will support his family and friends know nothing about what they in for. Most of those people who say things don't even have their men here or he just got here and they are all in that honeymoon phase, so they have no clue how it is all going to play out. It's easy to say things when you haven't experienced them yet.

That stereotypical comment is ridiculous. Not all Jamaicans are living in poverty - or have family members looking for a handout from a woman from farrin. My husband's family is well off and I don't get the calls every week asking for money, but if a call ever did come through I wouldn't think twice because I respect them and if it weren't for them he wouldn't be here. We've been together almost 4 years now, and when I lived down there, it was them that took care of me. They are my family now, and just as I don't think twice about helping out my own mother, I'm the same way with my mother in law.

Don't make comments generalizing every Jamaican/farrin relationship. Just because you may have issues with your inlaws and hubby's friends does not mean that everyone else will experience the same thing with their spouses.

[Forever Young 1]

owwww lawd!!! I am going to be in the airport wanting to check the board cause I know the sh#t gonna hit the fan on this tomorrow!!!

here is my 2 cents on this issue.....

(playing devils advocate) I do understand that those of us, who are not as comfortable with patois, might feel a bit frustrated when it is used heavily.... as we might feel as though we are missing out in good conversation or stories.

BUT......

Because we are on this thread we are here to seek advise and support in journeys we have chosen to take being in relationships with Jamaicans. That being said.... I enjoy the opportunity to LEARN what I can that will make my future husband and the culture that I have fallen in love with more comfortable for him and myself. YES...it is frustrating BUT I can only amagine how frustrating it is for HIM when we as americans talk fast and in american slang. I do appreciate the chance to learn patois...unfortunatly at this point in my education I ongly pick hup habout 70% but ere is oping dat wit time, I will get betta....(so simple just play with the H! )

Well...the next time I will be chatting I will be doing so from the beaches of NEGRIL......Have a wonderful weekend and I will check in with yall.....lata....

HAVE A GREAT TRIP JAMMY!!! Please enjoy Yard for all of us that can't! SAFE TRAVELS Chica!!!

Blessed love,

Gill

[Jonesie 1]

I'm not even gonna comment on other posts like I'd like to because this is absurd...for those of you who believe that every Jamaican (man or woman) just wants a woman/man to support him/her and their family, why the hell haven't you left/why did you go thru the visa process/ gotten out of the relationship (divorced) when the "signs" were clear as the sky is blue? Foolishness...

Edited November 8, 2007 by Jonesie

[Forever Young 1]

Question: Do any of you buy saltfish in your area? I found saltfish online for 3.99/lb boneless and skinless Problem is the shipping is MORE than the fish itself! We can't find any in our area...if you have it in your area...what is the cost? Is 3.99 a good deal and should I just suck it up on the shipping?

We have it here in the Farmer's Market for about that price, no shipping cost. Have you tried the Farmer's Market in your area? You should also check local meat/fish markets to see if they can get it for you. I can't find ackee to go with my saltfish. I can't find fresh calaloo either.

Hope you find a great deal though.

Hello VJ family.

I tried calling our local Caribbean market but they wouldn't give me a quote over the phone. And I'm not sure when we're going back to the market.

Jawi - can you get canned ackee in ATL? We have it here for $11 a can. We saw fresh calaloo last week but Damien didn't buy any

Tell Damien that is the same can ackee he is getting at the restaurant . Last year, my mom was planting callaloo in the back yard, so most Sundays we would have fresh callaloo for breakfast. She also planted sorrel, so that was the Christmas sorrel drink; that was so nice. Has anyone had the sorrel tea? It is so good. They came out with scientific proof that apparently it is good for you.

I LOVE Sorrel...it's one of my favorite things about Christmas!! Never tried Sorrel Tea though.

Bless,

Gill

[jawi876 2]

Not everyone. Written Patois gives me a headache. Can't bother with it.

I know thats right. I was too far behind to catch up so I left it alone.

I respect that as well. I truly do. (What I am about to say is not directed at you Shonnie, but I'm going to say my peace.)

However, being rude is not necessary. I responded the way I did because the rudeness upset me. It upset some other people here too. If you look at this thread, I didn't come here ONE time and ask ANYBODY to come and read it either.The success of my post doesn't require everyone to approve or like it. Jomo tries to be cute, and then keeps telling me that she was not trying to come off rude and if I took her comments that way she is sorry. I have never taken her comments any way until she kept telling me not to.

I started the post saying it was a purely fictional story and my first attempt at writing a story. She comes in shortly after talking about it was believable until I got to the nice customs agent. There was no patois in the story at that point. I shrugged the comment off, although I got several PMs about why she was being rude. Again, she and everyone else is entitled to their opinion. Mi nuh beg nuh friend.

There are enough people reading and posting in the thread that are not with JAMAICANS, and they are even mouthing the words to follow the story. If you don't like it, no problem. Feel free to stay away like you have thus far. The post will die a slow death and fizzle out in due time anyway.

What I don't get is some of the women claiming to be in love with their Jamaican husbands, but they hate his family, his friends, his mother, his country and everything that made him the man he is now. I have remained quiet about it...but some of oonu oomen nuh knoa yuhself! Yuh need fe tek wey yuhself and nuh place all de blame pon im when de marriage nuh work.

Jomo nuh de ONGLY RUDE GYAL PON DIS BC WEBSITE! Mi nuh stawt war...but mi nuh run frum ie eidda. De best ting fe mi fe do ie tuh low dis before mi sey someting fe ban mi.

I think I will start a PATOIS ONLY thread too. Feel free to stay out of that one too...yuhseemi?

Well, since Jawi wants to share so much with you all today, I'm in......

Perhaps those of you who view my comments as negative would be happier if he wasn't such a nice guy and we didn't have such a great relationship. I showed my husband what you said and he sucked teeth. He said some women are not happy and view a man like that if he isn't a playa, beating his wife, lying to her, and running around on her. I've had others saying that to me too. So, maybe they are right. I guess he can't be a real man until I am cowering in the corner as he runs out the door to find a baby mama.

He is a "man" in our relationship, just not "THE" Man. Such an antiquated sentiment. Neither of us controls the other nor the relationship and it works. If someone needs one or the other to control the relationship, then so be it. It's just not for us. We butt heads sometimes and we talk it through. Sometimes one of us wins, mostly we compromise.

If you knew his story, his family, and his friends, or seen what I have seen in his Jamaica, perhaps you would say the same things. I play off of what he thinks and feels and what I have personally experienced. Those who say they will support his family and friends know nothing about what they in for. Most of those people who say things don't even have their men here or he just got here and they are all in that honeymoon phase, so they have no clue how it is all going to play out. It's easy to say things when you haven't experienced them yet. As far as Jamaica goes, I love Jamaica. I think it is beautiful and I have fond memories of all over Jamaica. I miss many people there. I have been there 16 times, staying almost always in his yard or with other friends and family in their yard. It's not like I haven't seen things. I've seen beauty and peace and wonderfully fun times. I've also seen violence against men, against women, against defenseless children. I've see racism, sexism, and needless discrimination of Jamicans to other Jamaicans. I've seen sadness and I've seen poverty. I've seen people use other people out of desperation and I've seen it just for sport. I'm sorry if I don't see Jamaica as a paradise. I've seen too much to think that anymore.

It's really just a case of not being able to have an opinion that differs from others on here again. It's an old scratched record that just keeps playing over and over again. Anything even slightly negative and you get bashed all to hell. The thing is, I don't live in some fantasy world where someone else takes care of everything and I just follow along nor where everything is so perfect. I'm a strong proud woman who has opinions. I'll be damned if I will apologize for that. I'll fight for what I believe in till the day I die.

I'm not the only person who feels this way either. Others who believe along these same lines have stopped expressing opinions cause all they do is get bashed. It's a ridiculous concept that deluded people who live in this fantasy world of love, peace, and harmony at ALL times run away anyone else who has an opinion. I hope that when their worlds fall apart, they can find those others to reach out to in the same situation. I have a wonderful support group of friends who KNOW what happens in these LDR's sometimes.....knows ALL of what can happen, not just the lovey dovey stuff....who have experienced some or all of what I am going through, and who give thought provoking insight and advice.

Again Jomo, you are not understanding what I said to you. What you said here was real, full of emotion and your expressed love for your husband. I NEVER said you husband had to be THE MAN. I said I didn't care for the way you came here and talked down about him. You yourself painted the picture that your man knew who the boss was. This is the first time you said you actually sit down and compromise with him. I am not judging HIM...I simply did not like the way you "talked" about him here because you are strong and an opinionated woman. I am a strong, proud woman with opinions as well. But, I be damned if I will come on here and tell people that man knows better than to try and tell me what not to do. We can only go based on what you type. You said that he was not happy about you posting things about your relationship here, and that he knows better than to ever try to tell you what to do next time. My point was to stop bashing him so much. It's okay to be strong, but it's okay to say you love him too. I give you mad props for doing that today. I honestly wondered if the love was one-sided at first, because it sounds like he gives a lot to make you happy. Maybe, you should post some more about the things you do to make him happy too.

I have been in a LDR and a marriage to a Jamaican man with a Jamaican family and friends. I am still on very good terms with his family, and they NEVER asked for a dime. We talk to each other about life, and not once has his mother called to beg for money in seven years. It was not all lovey dovey, and I am not a person to ever say any relationship is.

My current fiance' is not here right now, but I have been with him about as long as you have been married, and FRIENDS longer. My fiance is not a playa, a wife beater or any of the things you mentioned. Nor, do I paint him as such. My man is strong, confident, in love with our kids and ME. You will not ever see me posting about how I threatened to stab him to keep him in line...joking or not. I respect him, and he respects me. I am strong and confident, but I don't have to make my fiance' sound weak in the process.

RhondaP. comes off as a strong and confident woman too, but I have never seen her talk about putting her man in line even if they have an agrument, or she doesn't agree with something he does.

You are not the only person here in a loving relationship J. You can't really think that you are. I never had a problem with us having a difference of opinion. I just didn't understand why you spoke so harshly about the man you love. You have explained it, now I understand that it is just you standing up for what you believe in.

Walk good.

I have seen the same things in Jamaica and the good ole USA.

[*JG* 2]

Those who say they will support his family and friends know nothing about what they in for. Most of those people who say things don't even have their men here or he just got here and they are all in that honeymoon phase, so they have no clue how it is all going to play out. It's easy to say things when you haven't experienced them yet.

That stereotypical comment is ridiculous. Not all Jamaicans are living in poverty - or have family members looking for a handout from a woman from farrin. My husband's family is well off and I don't get the calls every week asking for money, but if a call ever did come through I wouldn't think twice because I respect them and if it weren't for them he wouldn't be here. We've been together almost 4 years now, and when I lived down there, it was them that took care of me. They are my family now, and just as I don't think twice about helping out my own mother, I'm the same way with my mother in law.

Don't make comments generalizing every Jamaican/farrin relationship. Just because you may have issues with your inlaws and hubby's friends does not mean that everyone else will experience the same thing with their spouses.

I should have rephrased it to say that IN MY EXPERIENCE I've seen and heard what I have commented on. And, the people who TEND to comment on that follow exactly as I said. It's not stereotypical when I am talking from my own experiences. It is what it is.

[*JG* 2]

I'm not even gonna comment on other posts like I'd like to because this is absurd...for those of you who believe that every Jamaican (man or woman) just wants a woman/man to support him/her and their family, why the hell haven't you left/why did you go thru the visa process/ gotten out of the relationship (divorced) when the "signs" were clear as the sky is blue? Foolishness...

Ah, but see, that is where you are all jumping to the conclusions. If you think only the US spouse is the one with these issues, you are inferring incorrectly.

[*JG* 2]

Jawi,

This is a written forum. Besides some well placed smileys and bolded words, you can't get the emotions anyone else is really expressing when they write. And, we are from different parts of the country, different backgrounds, different places in our lives......of course we are not all going to understand each other all that time.

Just because you infer something from my writing, doesn't mean that is how it is being said by me.

[Jonesie 1]

Those who say they will support his family and friends know nothing about what they in for. Most of those people who say things don't even have their men here or he just got here and they are all in that honeymoon phase, so they have no clue how it is all going to play out. It's easy to say things when you haven't experienced them yet.

That stereotypical comment is ridiculous. Not all Jamaicans are living in poverty - or have family members looking for a handout from a woman from farrin. My husband's family is well off and I don't get the calls every week asking for money, but if a call ever did come through I wouldn't think twice because I respect them and if it weren't for them he wouldn't be here. We've been together almost 4 years now, and when I lived down there, it was them that took care of me. They are my family now, and just as I don't think twice about helping out my own mother, I'm the same way with my mother in law.

Don't make comments generalizing every Jamaican/farrin relationship. Just because you may have issues with your inlaws and hubby's friends does not mean that everyone else will experience the same thing with their spouses.

I should have rephrased it to say that IN MY EXPERIENCE I've seen and heard what I have commented on. And, the people who TEND to comment on that follow exactly as I said. It's not stereotypical when I am talking from my own experiences. It is what it is.

Yes you should have rephrased it

[jawi876 2]

Umm, not sure what happened here. A few "rude statements" were made. then everyone appoligized and then words started being thrown at "Jomo's girl" or mainly at her??? and then other people who wanted to say something about "Jomo's girl" posts in the past, felt it was fine to jump on the bandwagon. Did Jomo's girl say not to talk patios in the thread? I don't see that post, maybe I didn't go back far enough to read where she made that comment. Oh and of course can't forget bad gyal nuh back down from nuttin.

carry on ladies

It's okay, Jengles. But, thanks for the sentiment.

All I said was READING Patois gives me a headache. Anyone who inferred that I said DON'T talk Patois on any of these threads did that all on their own. And, those of you who implied I don't know my man's culture or where he comes from or even that there is some agreement that we dont' speak Patois in our home, also did that all on your own. Sweeping generalizations over and over again.

Nobody said any version of this in English or patois. You have told me that you understand it and can speak it, you just don't like to read it. I don't have a problem with you not reading it, which is why I started my OWN thread. You were being nasty when you said you couldn't be bothered with my story because of it, but you are in there every day. That is what most people took offense to, and that is what made me post the way I did. Some people are tired of being told that they shouldn't post in patois, and the jokes began. Again, the jokes and suss are part of the Jamaican and African American culture. You can love each other to death, but you will slew each other with the words and jokes.

Jengles what I meant about toe-to-toe on written words was just that, not a literally coming to blows. If someone wants to be snide and rude, and I can go there too. I was tired of saying it's okay Jomo, no hard feelings taken. It seems that she would post a comment to me, and then apologize if it came off rude or harsh. I wonder if she was doing it on purpose to see if I would respond. I did yesterday, and apologized.

[Forever Young 1]

Not everyone. Written Patois gives me a headache. Can't bother with it.

I know thats right. I was too far behind to catch up so I left it alone.

I respect that as well. I truly do. (What I am about to say is not directed at you Shonnie, but I'm going to say my peace.)

However, being rude is not necessary. I responded the way I did because the rudeness upset me. It upset some other people here too. If you look at this thread, I didn't come here ONE time and ask ANYBODY to come and read it either.The success of my post doesn't require everyone to approve or like it. Jomo tries to be cute, and then keeps telling me that she was not trying to come off rude and if I took her comments that way she is sorry. I have never taken her comments any way until she kept telling me not to.

I started the post saying it was a purely fictional story and my first attempt at writing a story. She comes in shortly after talking about it was believable until I got to the nice customs agent. There was no patois in the story at that point. I shrugged the comment off, although I got several PMs about why she was being rude. Again, she and everyone else is entitled to their opinion. Mi nuh beg nuh friend.

There are enough people reading and posting in the thread that are not with JAMAICANS, and they are even mouthing the words to follow the story. If you don't like it, no problem. Feel free to stay away like you have thus far. The post will die a slow death and fizzle out in due time anyway.

What I don't get is some of the women claiming to be in love with their Jamaican husbands, but they hate his family, his friends, his mother, his country and everything that made him the man he is now. I have remained quiet about it...but some of oonu oomen nuh knoa yuhself! Yuh need fe tek wey yuhself and nuh place all de blame pon im when de marriage nuh work.

Jomo nuh de ONGLY RUDE GYAL PON DIS BC WEBSITE! Mi nuh stawt war...but mi nuh run frum ie eidda. De best ting fe mi fe do ie tuh low dis before mi sey someting fe ban mi.

I think I will start a PATOIS ONLY thread too. Feel free to stay out of that one too...yuhseemi?

Jawi, yu too bad! Some of the derogatory comments on here about Jamaica and Jamaicans have gotten to me as well. If you know people who are like that, please keep it to them, but some of the generalizations have been too much, especially considering that they have fallen in love with and married Jamaicans. I am proud of my country, despite its issues, but as the colours of our flag represent: Hardships there are (black), but the land is green and the sun shines; we will continue to prosper despite all that ah gwaan.

Unnu nuh haffi like wi, but unnu ah go respec wi still! Gwaan tru Jawi

BULLET BULLET Jawi & Tam Tam,

Look 'ere I will seh hit ova han ova again...yuh nuh miss Yard til yuh come a farrin!!! Yes, we as J'cans 'ave many issues that we still haffi conquer. However, some of the total disrespect for our customs, culture & men on this thread sometimes is truly upsetting. One major diference I have seen in American culture and J'can culture is family. Jamaicans by nature are typically VERY family oriented!! Think about it, at home family is all you really have to depend on. The Jamaican family unit is very tightly woven. This includes Aunties, Uncles, cousins, Grandparents and so forth, not just the immediate family. So, to expect that to change just because one family members location has changed is determental. Are we a perfect culture...no are our men perfect...no. But that is true with any Nationality!

I mean seriously think about this...what if you decided to move to Jamaica, instead of him moving here. Wouldn't there be a serious need for adjustment on your part? The American culture and Jamaican culture are different. It doesnt necessarily mean good or bad...jus' different! And I for one LOVE different!

Growing up in a town that was majority white...I was always the different one! I went to a High School of 600 students, where I was 1 of 5 black students and 1 of 4 Jamaican students. My parents raised me to respect all people and cultures. But be nothing but proud of your own! And that has stuck with me til this day! Different is what makes America so interesting!

To me there is no greater site than touching down at Sangster and seeing Black & green with the golden cross all over!! So, I'm sorry if some of you have troubles embracing your SO's homeland, family and culture. I honestly feel bad for you, because it is a great one! Instead of fighting so hard to change him/her, why don't you try to open your mind and change yourself.

Blessed,

Gill

[jawi876 2]

Jawi,

This is a written forum. Besides some well placed smileys and bolded words, you can't get the emotions anyone else is really expressing when they write. And, we are from different parts of the country, different backgrounds, different places in our lives......of course we are not all going to understand each other all that time.

Just because you infer something from my writing, doesn't mean that is how it is being said by me.

I can respect that. Well said! I'm happy to know that my interpretation of your love for your husband was wrong on all counts. LOL. I was really feeling bad for him. Now that I know that you don't mean any harm in what you are saying, I won't take offense again.

As I said earlier, I am cool with you. There are no hard feelings at all, just a simple misunderstanding of our expressed views.

*punch Jomo in her arm*

[Jonesie 1]

I'm not even gonna comment on other posts like I'd like to because this is absurd...for those of you who believe that every Jamaican (man or woman) just wants a woman/man to support him/her and their family, why the hell haven't you left/why did you go thru the visa process/ gotten out of the relationship (divorced) when the "signs" were clear as the sky is blue? Foolishness...

Ah, but see, that is where you are all jumping to the conclusions. If you think only the US spouse is the one with these issues, you are inferring incorrectly.

If you say so - jumping to conclusions is not something I do. I was only commenting on YOUR words and frequent posts about how your hubby's family/friends/acquaintances only call to beg and ask for things from you.

I hope that those in new relationships don't take these words to heart, because not every situation with JA/farrin relationships is like yours (thank the Lord ).